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There’s no place to go

[th3-divine-zero]

temporary pinned post

I will update this bit by bit.

Hi, welcome to our blog :p

My name is Tatum, and I’m the host in a questioning di-dd system.

I’m bodily 17, and I personally use she/her pronouns.

I’ve been in what I’m assuming is denial for quite some time, which has caused me to act in some very harmful ways towards the other members.

I currently don’t have much communication with anyone, since I pushed everyone away and put up walls to keep them away. I’m currently trying to remedy the damage I have done, not only to us as a whole, but to each individual person in here.

I currently know of five others. There were more before I kind of pushed everyone off, and I’m sure they’re still here somewhere, I just can’t access them at all right now.

The one I have the most communication with is Reana (pronounced re-na). She might be a caretaker of some type? But I’m unsure. She’s co-con/front almost all of the time.

Incase you couldn’t tell from our blog name,,,and display name,,,and bio,,,,I’m a huge ptv fan.

I’m also a lifestyle landmine, so this page will cover a lot of sensitive topics at times. They will all be appropriately tagged, but please still continue with caution.

Diagnoses:

- bpd

- autism

- gad

- sad (social anxiety disorder)

- bipolar 1

- c-ptsd

- adhd

- dpdr

I only mention these because they all impact the way I interact with others in some way.

Tags:

#⋆.˚ phantom power and ludicrous speed ꒱꒱ - general posting

#⋆.˚ yeah boy and doll face ꒱꒱ - vent / jirai posting

#⋆.˚ disasterology ꒱꒱ - disorder stuff

#⋆.˚ the balcony scene ꒱꒱ - reposting

#⋆.˚ dive in ꒱꒱ - responding to asks

#⋆.˚ tatum ꒱꒱ - ooo tatum posts ooooo

#⋆.˚ reana ꒱꒱ - reana’s posts

#⋆.˚ micah ꒱꒱ - micah’s posts

#⋆.˚ vallis ꒱꒱ - vallis / acrasia’s posts

Anons:

- bug anon

Dni:

- (pro/neu) endo, willo, non-religious tulpa, non-traumagenic / non-disordered ‘systems’, radqueer, harmful transid.

- (pro) ageplay, ddlg, abdl, etc.

- darkship / comship

I also block freely.

That’s all for now, thanks for joining us.

[th3-divine-zero]

God this bitch is retarded

She’s literally the stupidest person i have EVER been cursed with meeting.

Peace on earth will be restored the day she shuts the fuck up.

[antiwillo-dj-pon-3]

hi guys really controversial take ig but can we not harass people??????

[iluvtohurtyou]

[iluvtohurtyou]

[pleasedonteatmyflesh]

[iluvtohurtyou]

[iluvtohurtyou]

[iluvtohurtyou]

[iluvtohurtyou]

[th3-divine-zero]

I think that connection is a scam and the idea of forming relationships with others is idiotic.

Everyone leaves, it’s inevitable, so what’s the point in the first place? You’re just saving yourself the hurt.

Why do you want to open yourself up to a position of weakness? You are the rabbit and they are the wolves.

If you maul them first, or better yet, run down into your little hole before they have the chance; then you are doing the only reasonable thing.

It’s kill or be killed, and I’d rather keep myself intact. Is that really so bad? Everyone acts like this is some awful evil revelation, but even if it was, I don’t think I’d care. I’m doing what’s best for myself and I couldn’t care less how it’s ’bad’ or how it affects anyone else. That’s simply not my problem.

My love is deep, my trust is violent, the ability to experience those things from me is beyond beautiful. But nobody will ever get that privilege. I have run dry in this aspect of life. Nobody is deserving of my care, if I have any to give.

[ooooxoxo-ooxo--o]

"I wanna kill myself"

jiraiblr:

[th3-divine-zero]

I like to talk about my future because it’s genuinely whatever I want it to be. I can make up any bullshit I want because it’s not going to happen anyway. Kids? Sure! Job? Something cool! Collage? Of course!

My future is bright because it does not exist.

I’m am sick and I always will be. I cannot live my life feeling like I do now, and I know that there is no possibility of change. And I’m okay with that. I will die young at the hands of this body, and I will be happy that I didn’t have to see the end of this disgusting filthy world. I will be happy that I no longer have to trudge through the days anymore, putting aside my terror for the wellbeing of the people I love.

You say this is new. You say I was never sick before. But you are wrong! You just never saw it. I never let you. But now it’s become too much and it’s spilling over. Barely. If you think this is ‘crazy’ and ‘ill’, then you have shown me you would not be able to handle me when things really do get bad. I want to thank you for that. Because you’re being honest. I want to thank everyone for breaking me from that stupid state of delusion I was living in.

I have accepted my fate. I have come to terms with the truths of this disorder. I understand what I’m going to do. And when the time comes, everything will finally be alright.

[anti-willo-miku]

System communities need to get normal about littles who are sexual trauma holders

System communities need to get normal about littles who have other “adult” roles

System communities need to get normal about abuser introjects

System communities need to get normal about RAMCOA/OEA survivors

System communities need to get normal about systems who’s trauma wasn’t parental abuse and/or sa (this is not me saying that people who did go through that are invalid, but that theres a lack of resources or support for different types of trauma)

System communities need to get normal about factives

[anti-willo-hannibal]

Just found out that HC-DID confessions is endo-neutral.

Which, you either stand against ableism or you stand for it.

Perhaps it’s on us that we only skimmed the into post when we first discovered the blog, however I still find it a bit… odd, that a blog for programmed systems aligns themselves with pro/endos.

This is, of course, applicable to all systems, but a place that allows ableists as well as disabled people is not a safe place for disabled people. The same as a place that allows both trans people and transphobes is not a safe place for trans people. And many, many more examples such as these.

Putting bigots in a space with the people they’re bigoted against is never good, especially when the people suffering under the bigotry are already extremely traumatized.

[the-guy-from-scream]

"Endogenic systems cannot be real because DID requires trauma to form, and they do not have trauma. It doesn't matter if you claim to have a CDD or not. Endogenic systems are not real."

"oh. so I guess I don't exist then"

That's not what was said at all. Your label, your "experience" is not real, or at least not in the way that you see it.

I'm sure that there are plenty of endos who are CDD systems, but don't believe that their trauma is "bad enough" which is completely untrue, every child experiences trauma differently. However, when nothing inherently traumatic happened and these endos are still claiming to have headmates / parts / alters / whatever else, they simply don't.

They are getting other symptoms confused with CDDs, for example Borderline Personality Disorder commonly gets confused for CDDS in endo spaces due to an "overlap" in symptoms. More often than not, it's simply severe splits that are making these individuals with BPD believe that their experience is a CDD. I experienced this first hand in a friend group I was previously in.

In other cases, they are simply faking to fake. They saw "quirky people in your head disorder" and took the one "good" or "interesting" part of the disorder and cosplayed it. This is not all of the endo community, but there are certainly a number of them. My sister was one of these.

Overall, not all endos are fakers. Some of them are getting symptoms confused, or are experiencing self-doubt. This does not remove the fact that there are fakers out there though.

[anti-willo-sunny]

I support researched self diagnosis btw

Whether you are striving for a diagnosis and do have the means

Whether you’re striving for a diagnosis but don’t have the means

Whether a diagnosis isn’t something you’re striving for

Or whether a diagnosis isn’t a priority right now

I understand how difficult it can be to get diagnosed with certain things, especially if you’re a person of color or a minor.