The person above me described in a nutshell why most higher support needs autistic people that I know hate the book "Unmasking Autism" and everything associated with it. (It also spits in the face of decades of autism research and practice.) These traits only look "healthy" because they're being framed that way. I see so many people in the notes acting like these are either universal signs of autism or entirely unrelated to autism, but the truth is that many of these are straightforward autism criteria, just extremely watered down to the point of misinformation.
"Intense studying of a favorite new topic" is normal. "Not being able to eat, sleep, or use the restroom without prompting because you can't pull away from your restricted interest for hours a day for weeks straight" is an autism symptom that can interfere with work or school and even lead to serious health problems. Having extremely restricted interests in general is also very socially isolating when you only ever want to talk about things no one else around you cares about. This isn't just things like anime or animals, it can be obscure periods of history, topics related to violence, or even the mechanics of a vacuum cleaner. It doesn't just manifest as infodumping, it often manifests as not wanting to hear a friend talk about their day because all you care about is your restricted interests.
"Not noticing sounds or social signals when focusing on an engrossing task" is normal. "Not noticing people trying to talk to you at work or getting distressed when they do get your attention" causes friction with coworkers and can indicate attention-shifting difficulties that will also make it hard to return to working. "Not noticing the sound of a car coming while you're crossing the road because you can't stop thinking about your special interest" is actively dangerous.
"Needing to know exactly what to expect before entering an unfamiliar situation" is only 'normal' if you ignore the word 'exactly.' Some autistic people have entire conversations that they want to play out in an exact way, and they'll get upset or panicked if someone says something different than their script. Others will avoid new locations or activities even if it's detrimental to their health, like avoiding seeing a new doctor or dentist without extensive support to transition between providers. Others might annoy everyone around them by asking non-stop, likely repetitive questions about what the new activity will be like. Even the most mild manifestation of this can mean rarely consuming new foods or media, traveling, or trying new fun activities, which can narrow your world and make people view you as boring or uncultured. Additionally, if someone with autism expects something and the situation isn't like they expected (even if only in a really minor way), this can be actively disorienting or panic-inducing.
"Sticking to a very rigid schedule" isn't normal at all. This doesn't mean having a schedule and not liking last-minute plans, it means risking a full-blown meltdown if something gets moved or cancelled. Dinner is half an hour late? Your therapist is sick? You always go to a specific restaurant on Wednesday, but they're closed? It's spring break and you're not going to school this week? All of these can cause upset even with prior notice and extreme panic if it's a sudden deviation. It can also manifest as intense, notably abnormal routines that look like OCD rituals.
"Taking a long time to think before responding to a complex question" is normal if you're talking with a friend and want to put thought into your answer. If you're expected to give a best-guess at work, being consistently slow is an issue. If you're slow to answer even minor questions, that's a very noticeable issue that will make others think negatively of you. People take your silence as apathy, disinterest, inattention, or ignorance. Even if you manage to give a scripted answer while you try to think, conversations move on, and you never get the chance to participate and show what you know, give your opinion, or have your input be counted for decisions.
"Spending hours or days alone sleeping or recharging after a socially demanding or stressful project" is normal. "Spending hours or days alone sleeping or recharging after routine social interactions" is not. It could be depression, it could be chronic fatigue, or it could be social anxiety, but it's not normal and it's not harmless. It can make it difficult or even impossible to handle scheduling medical appointments, communicating with a teacher or boss, seeing friends, or even basic interactions with a cashier at the grocery store.
"Needing 'all the information' before coming to a decision" is normal and healthy when taken as an exaggeration. "Needing even minor details spelled out because you can't generalize information from experience or from similar decisions" is a problem. "Being paralyzed by even minor choices without having someone walk you through every option and possible outcome" is a serious problem that can lead to missed opportunities, others getting annoyed at you, others making harmful choices on your behalf, or staying in a harmful situation because you don't feel like you have enough evidence that you need to leave even when the evidence is overwhelming.
"Not knowing how they feel, or needing a few days to figure out how they feel about something" is alexithymia. It doesn't necessarily indicate autism, but it's very common in autism, and it's not exactly normal either. Many people with alexithymia have their unrecognized emotions manifest as psychosomatic symptoms instead, like a headache or upset stomach. Many with autism don't realize they're upset about something until everything becomes too much and they explode without warning. The ability to recognize feelings is really important!
"Needing a rule or instruction to 'make sense' before they follow it" is normal and to an extent healthy. It's a problem when it means not following rules that are considered important by one's social circle or workplace. It's not just not wanting to follow unreasonable demands by unearned authority figures, it's also being rude to others because you don't understand or care about social norms. This also isn't relevant for all autistic people. Many are either overly passive or automatically oppositional (demand avoidant) regardless of how much sense the rule makes.
"Not putting energy towards expectations that seem unfair or arbitrary" is normal when you only frame it in terms of makeup or elaborate grooming. It's extremely unhelpful to pretend many autistic people don't struggle to maintain even basic hygiene or comply with even basic social norms. Most of this website would hypocritically call them gross or cringe.
Even people with low support needs or level 1 autism struggle. The difference between subclinical autistic traits (having a "broader autism phenotype") and clinical autism is impairment. Trying to reframe every autism symptom as something harmless, quirky, or normal screws over even autistic people who don't need much support. As the person above me said, it's also flat out dangerous for higher support needs autistics.
You all are actively setting back autism awareness by pretending it's not a really serious disability. A majority of us don't ever live independently, marry, or have meaningful employment. Around 1/4 are non-speaking, minimally verbal, or have moderate-to-severe intellectual disability. It's not okay to keep erasing most of the spectrum in a quest to "normalize" traits that aren't even severe enough to count towards a diagnosis.
