i don't think i'm actually as scared of relationships as i thought? what i fear is amatonormativity, but not dating in general. like of course there's still the cptsd stuff, but apart from that, thinking about being in a non-restrictive qpr that's built around the experiences of those involved and not social norms or rules is such a pleasant thought. imagining myself in a traditional relationship makes me feel trapped and stressed and overall terrible. meanwhile being in an emotionally/physically intimate relationship that supports and acknowledges my atypical attraction is a genuinely joyous thing to think about. this is certainly one of the discoveries ever. split up and discuss amongst yourselves while i ponder








