not another chandelier

here to deliver bad news and witty one-liners

[contact-guy]

sherlock holmes deduces you are trans before you've figured it out yourself and refers to you with those pronouns and then when you look confused is like "ah...had you not arrived at that conclusion yet?" and wafts away in his dressing gown to smoke seventeen pipes, leaving you in a gender crisis

[skipppppy]

Hercule Poirot deduces you are trans by accident because he suspected you of murder and broke into your house and searched your stuff then puts 2 and 2 together when Hastings makes an innocuous observation about your fashion sense or something and he jumps up and cries “mon dieu!!!” before striding over to you kissing you on both cheeks and saying “ah, cher ami, you must live as you choose!” and then running off to confront the real culprit while you stand there in befuddlement

[ospreyonthemoon]

Columbo deduces you're trans from context clues while he's talking to you about the area, immediately uses your preferred pronouns and starts telling you about his cousin, who's also transgender, and how they got this job doing security, and how they told him that a security guard always locks up, and asks you if the guard locked up last night, and isn't it weird the place was open? And you're like, well, someone else must have opened it up. Maybe the guy in charge? He has a spare key. And then he nods and goes "the guy in charge has a spare key... well, how about that?" And then he offers you a cigar and wanders off, and a day later your boss gets arrested for murder.

[deathsmallcaps]

Fanon Batman deduces you are trans and suddenly a free hormone clinic opens up by your home a couple months later

[answeringmysister]

Miss Fisher learns youre trans and simply gives you hormones, and a little cocaine as a treat. she also invites you out to a club to meet like minded individuals. at the club you watch as she seduces the bartender and then the next day the bartender is arrested for the murder.

[viridianchronicle]

[mogwaei]

i forgor to post him here - Zevran meets Hades!

[anarchopuppy]

I didn’t even consider that soap could be made out of bacon grease, like when I heard “animal fat” that just never came to mind

I am once again thinking about neighborhood-scale networks of DIY and mutual aid where community wealth could be created literally for free by collecting things that people would otherwise throw away

[anarchopuppy]

Expecting every single person to make soap and broth and compost and mend all their clothes and repair all their electronics and upcycle all of their trash in useful ways is just never gonna work. No one has time to do everything, especially if they’re forced to have a job too

But if one person learns how to make soap, and everyone in the neighborhood brings them leftover animal fat and gets soap in return, it becomes a lot more manageable. Someone else learns how to spin dryer lint, someone else pulps and recycles paper, someone else grows food, someone else raises chickens, etc, etc, and suddenly you’ve got a whole moneyless circular economy going. Less stuff going to landfills, less money going to corporations, more prosperity for everyone

If the concept of getting free things in exchange for trash interests you, find a Buy Nothing Project or a mutual aid organization in your area and get involved!

[voyaging-too]

Severance is about rebellion, about people who were literally created to obey finally questioning and breaking through that conditioning. There’s a storyline about someone doing a complete 180 and choosing to rebel when they realise they have a child that they’re not allowed to see, and I love that the storyline wasn’t given to the female lead, but to a previously comic male character. There’s a storyline about breaking protocol because for the first time ever you have fallen in love, in intense, overwhelming, impossible love, and I love that the storyline wasn’t given to the female lead, but to a pair of awkward old guys. The storyline about grief and guilt also goes to a guy, to the male lead.

I love that the female lead is the only one whose radicalisation comes entirely from within, the person motivating her is her, she’s not doing it for anyone else, she wants her freedom, and failing that, she wants bloody revenge even at the cost of utter self-destruction.

[mockiatoh]

[mockiatoh]

That part!

[purplesaline]

Yep from experience telling your care provider that something is negatively impacting your quality of life is a game changer!

Another phrase to include as appropriate— symptom is causing functional impairment. Or to sound less text book "symptom is negatively impacting my ability to function in day to day life. AKA Symptom is making it hard for me to do every day tasks or hobbies like go to the grocery store or hang out with friends.

[closet-keys]

[Video description: tiktok user drsterlingobgyn stating

Here are two things you can say to your OB provider when you feel like you're being dismissed.

If you don't know me, hi! It's your girl, Dr. Sterling, Board certified OBGYN.

Number one: "I'm glad that you believe this is normal. What would you be looking for that would tell you that this is not a normal symptom? What should I be looking for that would tell me that this is something more serious?"

Because, every single "normal symptom" in pregnancy can also be a sign of something more serious.

And number two: "I understand that this is normal, and that is reassuring to me, but this symptom is impacting my quality of life (you have to say 'quality of life') and I would like to do something about it. What do you suggest?"

End video description.]

[Image description: tags reading, "This is good advice for anyone who gets dismissed with 'that's normal' especially fat and older people. Impacting quality of life was a game changer when I had to help my grandma get care. Doctors immediately went from defensive of there's nothing wrong with her to helping her feel more comfortable or stay active."]

[prokopetz]

I thing sometimes cats don’t actually know what specifically they want – they’re just generally dissatisfied, so they stand there yelling “I YEARN” on the off chance that you’ll be able to do something about it.

[snappydoodle-deactivated2022051]

It's 2004 and I'm Gonna Be Best Friends With a Real Dragon: A Nostalgic Compilation

[autogynephiladelphia]

Duolingo bimboification

[regularlesbian]

2019: cute!

2014: classic. Nice.

2012: eats human skin

2011: this might be a harmful black magic sigil

[lilitasticc]

Duo Owl c. 1536

[groovy-mushroom]

0h god he’s the demon of knowledge i knew it

[anais-ninja-bitch]

if you’re too young or not american, what you need to know about Betty White is that she has been on american television for as long as american television has existed, and before that she was a radio star. she belongs to every living generation of americans, and she will be so so missed.

time to watch some “Golden Girls” and fucking weep.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

she was nominated for an emmy 23 times (won 6), which is pretty impressive in any event, but she also had a successful career in entertainment years before the award even existed.

[prismatic-bell]

She was on AT LEAST two groundbreaking TV shows that I know of (keep in mind I don’t pop culture, so for me to know two means there were undoubtedly more): The Golden Girls of course, where elderly women were allowed to have full and vibrant lives, but also The Mary Tyler Moore Show, which was one of the first sitcoms about 1) a female main character who 2) was not married and 3) was self-sufficient with no need for a father, brother, close male friend, etc. to ‘save her from herself’. It’s been cited as a key work in the second-wave feminist movement and much of it still holds up and is relevant today.

An actor is lucky if they get to be on one “show that changed the world” in their lifetime. Betty White managed AT LEAST TWO.

[idontevenknowwhatimdoingbruh]

Let alone the fact that she was a major advocate for animals and the environment. Betty White was a good woman who did her best to fight for everyone, especially animals. If there is one bit of solace we can get it’s that she’s with her true love again.

[at-the-sign-of-the-fox-n-phoenix]

She had her own talk show and featured black performers* and when criticized for it, she said GET USED TO IT

and that got her show canceled.  Betty.  White.  Really cared for her fellow humans.

*Invisible disability haver here.  I have run out of spoons & still need to eat & shower.  Feel free to find this man’s name - he was one of my favorites as a child and even knowing that, i’m losing his name - and add it on if you know/can. I’m sorry I lost steam so soon.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

Arthur Duncan. from the rolling stone obit:

“She was just the perfect person. This is a tremendous loss,” tap-dancing legend Arthur Duncan tells Rolling Stone. Duncan, 88, was a regular featured performer on White’s NBC variety talk show, The Betty White Show, in the Fifties. When some Southern stations objected to his appearances due to his skin color, White refused to budge on his inclusion. “There was some resistance that was put up. Some people were calling in and objecting to me being on the show. She just thrust it off like it was nothing,” he says.

“It’s very heart-warming that she so preciously pursued fairness,” he adds. “She had so much respect for the people who surrounded her. She just loved everybody. And everybody loved her. I’ve never heard one unkind word about her.” Duncan adds that White gave him his “first shot” in television. “I know at the time, it was such a surprise that I went on that show. I’ll never, never forget what she did for me and many others. I have so much respect and love for her.”

An 'Original' 'Role Model' Who Fought for Her Co-Stars and Swilled Vodka and Hot Dogs: Stars Remember Betty White

Seth Meyers, Ryan Reynolds, Jenny Lewis, and more pay tribute to the late, great icon

[jonbutter]

reblog this to have a Happy Wildcat New Year™

[jonbutter]

not enough people reblogged this last year we gotta really try this time to have a Happy Wildcat New Year™

[smol-paw]

Very relatable.

See a stick, and go bonkers!!

[smoldragonborn]

“we need to stop the stigma towards drug users and addicts” and “we need to challenge the idea that being sober makes you boring” and “we need to stop acting like binge drinking to the extent you’re doing medical damage is fun and normal for young people” are all ideas that can and should coexist.

[fatfemmefreaquency]

just so we’re clear, the threshold for “binge drinking to the extent you’re doing medical damage” is waaaay lower than you think.

I work in an obstetrician and gynaecologist’s office. we have to tell patients on a regular basis that they are binge drinking weekly when they think they are simply consuming a normal amount of alcohol on the weekends.

having more than 3 drinks in a single sitting if you have an estrogen based endocrine system is a binge that is medically significant.

having more than 5 in a sitting is a medically significant binge for someone with a testosterone based endocrine system.

every time you do this, it significantly impacts your risk of getting breast cancer, and damages your liver. it takes time to recover from that liver damage. if you’re having a 3-5 or more drink binge on a weekly basis, you are an alcoholic, medically speaking, and your liver is not recovering.

again: the bar for what binge drinking is, medically, is so much lower than what you think it is.

alcohol is a really toxic substance and not something you should fuck around with.

again: if you have an estrogenized hormone system (common for most women), then 3 drinks is a binge. if you have a testosteronized hormone system (common for most men), then 5 drinks is a binge.

anything above that number, consumed as frequently as weekly or more, and you’re medically a binge drinking alcoholic.

also, if you’re drinking any quantity of alcohol 6 days a week or more, that’s another threshold at which, medically speaking, you meet the definition of alcoholism. your liver needs more days without alcohol in your system than just one a week to recover and be healthy.

I don’t say any of this to shame anyone—to me, alcoholism or substance use disorders aren’t a sign of weakness or moral failing. and most of us genuinely don’t know this stuff.

rather—I point this out because it’s important to reduce harm, and find ways to live healthier, happier lives. there is a life outside of constant binge drinking. it’s not always easy to find it. but it’s out there. you deserve a life where your emotional needs are met by something other than alcohol, and a life in which your liver is healthy, and the ways you cope and celebrate and find joy don’t put you at increased risk of cancer.

[qweerhet]

also–even if alcohol is the only way you can self-medicate, or if you choose to go on with your alcohol usage anyway regardless of other options–you still deserve to know what it’s doing to your body.

information is key. you don’t have to stop drinking, but the utter lack of education on alcohol + the normalization of binge drinking in current society leads to many people drinking without any idea of what it’s doing to their bodies.

addicts deserve accurate medical information regardless of what they decide to do with it. for some people, losing liver function is worth the benefits they get from binge drinking, but they can’t make that choice if they don’t know what the consequences are to begin with.

[jeanjauthor]

addicts deserve accurate medical information regardless of what they decide to do with it.

[theanticool]

It is Kana Watanabe fight week people

[pixiecatsupreme]

[coffeepeople]

One time a friend told me that if she wanted to have a chill night she would come to me and ask for tea and a book to read. I didn’t like tea at the time, but I always made sure my cupboards had them in case she needed a quiet night. One time I told my boss that I loved oranges, but couldn’t peel them because of my nails. For a year he made sure to peel me one at least once a week. Once my friends gave me a made up superlative of “most likely to have a pen they could borrow” and ever since I’ve made sure I always carry a pen with me. A long time ago, my high school librarian told me that no one would care what my grade in my sophomore chemistry class was if I’m bringing them doughnuts and asking them about their day.

[coffeepeople]

Sometimes friendship is about carrying pens and peeling oranges. But the point is, surrounding yourself with people who you want to do the little things for. The point of it all is bringing in the doughnuts because you’ve found the people who deserve the doughnuts.

[coffeepeople]

And I’m so fucking lucky, and I don’t always say it or even think it. Because I have friends who send me letters and who told me when the cafeteria at work had chopped tomatoes and who want to watch Scream with me and it just hits me sometimes that this world can do the ugliest things to people, but as long as I still have a friend who will point out dogs on the sidewalks to me then I have something amazing to live for. And as long as I have pals who I want to make peppermint bark for, then I have a reason to keep pushing this world to be better.

[yunhokun-deactivated20161115]

I feel like we need some clarification

[fortunatossoliloquy-archive-blog]

This is a Kimono (Japanese):

This is a Hanfu (Chinese):

This is a Cheongsam (Chinese):

This is a Hanbok (Korean):

Any questions? 

ao dai (vietnamese)

[hellotailor]

THIS POST IS IMPORTANT.

[aliastrench]

It’s interesting to note that that the garments that have a cross over style when worn correctly are all worn with the left breast over the right.

[fulcrumstoried]

That is because these countries tend to wrap right over left when they are wrapping the dead.

[aetheroi-deactivated20221218]

Here are what some men’s fashion looks like if anyone is interested.

Kimono:

Hanfu/Zhiju:

Cheongsam:

Hanbok:

Ao Dai:

[kakyoinryoko]

i think if you showed minecraft or fortnite to a little medieval peasant boy he would probably start writing parodies of church hymns. it’s human nature

[kakyoinryoko]

this has rendered me speechless

[kittykatninja321]

My hypothesis is that in like 10 years gen z is gonna have a big cult boom the way the boomers did in the 70s

[chazymandias]

It’s already happening on tik tok. There’s a fun new thing going round that’s citing common symptoms of depression and anxiety as signs you’re about to have your awakening and that you are actually an alien and the reason you don’t feel right is because you’re home sick for your own galaxy. So that’s fun.

[aleatoryw]

agreed, and i don’t mean this in a “haha gen z is so dumb they’re gonna join a tiktok cult lmao” i mean that conditions are perfect for the formation of cults right now.

high unemployment and a lot of underpaying, pointless jobs = people are looking for things to do with their life, a purpose

skyrocketing cost of living = most young people will not be able to live on their own, meaning some will end up in a group living situation with people interested in recruiting them

it’s a time of great cultural and political upheaval, nothing feels real, people are desperate for meaning and human connection. cults promise that

there is a new wave of acceptance and understanding for ways of life outside the norm, which is great! …except for when cult leaders tell you abusive and controlling practices are just their culture, their religion, their lifestyle, their beliefs, their tradition, and if you disrespect it you are the problem

social media influencers have already shown us how easy it is to build a cult of personality and attract people from anywhere in the world who are interested in the exact brand you are selling

spirtuality is having a boom, as are things like astrology, crystals, tarot, meditation, energy… those things aren’t bad on their own but they are often used as tools of cult spaces

wellness. i think a lot of people are already in wellness cults. you can make people do a lot of things in the name of “wellness” and a big factor of maintaining a cult is keeping members in a state of decreased cognition….. like say, with regular fasting

i think people are just unaware in general of how cults function, especially because the satanic panic was a big stupid false alarm that convinced the youths that dungeons and dragons or doom were gateways to cults, which are scary evil child murdering, satan-worshipping gangs. people don’t know how to spot them in real life.

[purplehawke]

as a cultic abuse survivor with a half-decade of academic/scholarly research on how cults/high control groups work, here are some quality yet public-friendly educational resources to help you learn what high control groups look like, how they work, and the methods they use to influence, draw in, and control/coerce literally anyone.

education about this subject is SO important—high control environments and their methods for influencing and controlling people often go totally unnoticed unless you’ve learned about them, and there’s a long history of mainstream misinformation on what thought reform and cults are, what they look like, and how they work. there’s also a huge misconception that “no way that could be me!” when unfortunately, because of how high control influence works, it’s possible for anyone to get drawn into a high control group or relationship without realizing that’s what it actually is.

Cults/High Control Groups and Influence 101:

BITE Model by Steven Hassan: criteria for identifying undue influence and high control groups/cults

“On Destructive Groups” section of BITE Model Analysis’ Resources page. The collection of links here are all to quality, highly respected references and resources (including videos) on Cult and High Control Group 101 information.

A Little Bit Culty podcast. This podcast is hosted by former NXIVM members Sarah and Nippy, who are now cult education and survivor healing advocates. Episode 2 (titled “Cults 101″ with guest Steven Hassan, creator of the BITE model) introduces what cults are, and why humans are universally vulnerable to cult abuse.

“Is Trump a Cult Leader? A Scientific Perspective” by Telltale. This video has a catchy title, but the creator does a great job on 1) knowing his stuff, and 2) explaining what’s required to be a cult, and what does/doesn’t qualify as a cult. The video also has really interesting insight/analysis on the current conspiracy theory cult movements we have today (QAnon, flat earthers, anti-vaxxers). The channel is a good source on both those subjects, as well as groups like the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

TV Series/Films (Bit More In-Depth):

Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath (Emmy award-winning TV series, it’s on US Netflix now). Really digs into the specifics of Scientology, but they do a great job portraying to the general public how cults operate, and how even a destructive cult can recruit people, cover up abuses, evade the law, and keep members within the group.

Seduced: Inside the NXIVM Cult (TV Series, available on Amazon Prime)

The Last Stop: The True Story of the Elan School (Warning: All of the TWs. Seriously.) Film on the Troubled Teen Industry, aka what happened when the War on Drugs combined with the 1960s anti-drug cult Synanon and LGAT seminars to create a still-active billion dollar industry of cult-based institutional child abuse in the name of teen rehabilitation. There is actual footage, it is deeply upsetting. Use the trailer to gauge your limits. Spoiler: fuck Nancy Reagan.

If you can’t watch the Last Stop, or even before you do, watch the video “The Elan School: Death by Misinformation” (it has its own bullet point later, too). It’s shorter, and the creator does well in giving you information from The Last Stop in a less harrowing/triggering delivery format. The video highlights the cult history of the US rehab and residential treatment industries. Also, once again, fuck Nancy Reagan.

Wellness/Self-Help Cults, including Corporate Cult Seminars/Workshops:

“What is the Landmark Forum?” by iiluminaughtii. A 101 on the cult corporate seminar industry. Landmark is one of the most well-known examples of a corporate seminar/workshop cult.

The channel above goes over a *lot* of the self-help/wellness industry cult groups/businesses, including MLMs. I’d genre her videos as true crime, but the research is really solid, the presentation is respectful, and there’s a good balance of education and entertainment.

Also check out Lifespring and Large-Group Awareness Training (LGAT) seminars. These are 1000% endemic, and yes, they’re high control groups. Their seminar methods are all various implementations of abusive high control tactics. Not good :(

Cult Origins of and Ongoing Destructive Cult Presence in the Modern US Drug Rehabilitation, Residential Treatment, and Troubled Teen Industries (including the origins of anti-LGBTQ conversion therapy camps):

“Help at Any Cost” by Maia Szalavitz (can’t recommend enough)

“The Elan School: Death by Misinformation” by iiluminaughtii. Includes a good 101 background on the Synanon cult and est seminars as the origins of the methods and ideology behind the modern US rehab industry, including residential treatment for adults and minors with substance abuse or mental health issues.

“Running My Anger: The Legacy of the CEDU Cult” by Medium Anonymous

Article by the National Youth Rights Association

Current Survivor Activism: Breaking Code Silence; WWASP Survivors.

Some More Podcasts!:

Scientology: Fair Game Podcast with Leah Remini and Mike Rinder (they’re really fantastic)

Jon Atack, Family, and Friends Podcast

This list seems really long, but I actually cut a lot out. Happy to field asks if that’s helpful—these links are meant to be easy-access for a general audience, but there are many more *really* fantastic resources besides these ones I’ve mentioned above :)