You can only reblog this today.
I missed my chance last year. Not gonna let it happen again
I'd rather be in outer space šø
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DEAR READER

izzy's playlists!
will byers stan first human second

Andulka
One Nice Bug Per Day
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

tannertan36
d e v o n
taylor price
wallacepolsom
art blog(derogatory)
YOU ARE THE REASON

shark vs the universe

romaā
todays bird
AnasAbdin
$LAYYYTER
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@thatswedishone
You can only reblog this today.
I missed my chance last year. Not gonna let it happen again
A Genie offers you one wish, and you modestly wish to have a very productive 2017. The genie misunderstands, and for the rest of your life, every 20:17 you become impossibly productive for just 60 seconds.
āWell, it was a nice day.ā You kiss your sweetheart gently on the forehead and sigh as the last remaining seconds of 20:16 tick away.Ā āSee you at 8:18,ā you say.Ā
Then it happens. Every ounce of fatigue or hunger leaves your body. The face of your beloved is perfectly still, their expression exactly the same. The ticking of the clock on the wall has stopped. Once again, itās 20:17.Ā
You stretch your arms and walk to the table with the homework for the three doctorates youāre working on. The work is mentally stimulating and enjoyable, but itās finished far too quickly. You check your pocket watch and see that not even one hundredth of a second has passed.Ā
You knew it was too soon to be able to see any movement on the watch, but you can never quite help yourself from looking early on every 20:17. Time to move on.Ā
You clean your home, do your budget, then go outside and fix a noise that your car was making earlier that afternoon. (Oh how you already miss afternoons.) Then you go back inside, boot up your computer (which magically speeds up to keep pace with you as long as youāre in contact with it) and check for any new orders.Ā
Youāve set up a website for the small business you started calledĀ āMagic Elf Services.ā People in your area can pay a modest fee on your site to have different tasks and odd jobs done byĀ āThe Magic Elfā at 8:17pm every day. It was a little slow to get started, but word has spread and these days you have a steady stream of clients.Ā
The money that comes in from the business is nice, but youāre mostly grateful that it gives you a clear list of things to do. You print off your updated list of clients, step outside, and start making your way through the neighborhood with your to-do list.Ā
Thereās the apartments down your street where several neighbors have hired you to tidy up, do the dishes, and mop the floors. You do the windows too, just to see if they notice. Thereās the large house across town that paid theĀ āMagic Elfā to clean out the gutters. After the first dozen jobs are done, you manage to stop looking at your pocket watch.Ā
As near as youāve been able to determine in the past, 20:17 seems to last for approximately one normal year. But itās not exact. For one thing, itās hard to keep track ofĀ ātimeā when everything but you has crawled to an almost total standstill. For another thing, time seems to move differently depending on howĀ āproductiveā your behavior is. One time you tried to spend all of 20:17 sitting at home in your pajamas, but that was getting you nowhere, so you eventually gave up and got busy. (Though you defiantly stayed in your pajamas the whole time.)Ā
During 20:17 your body doesnāt get tired, hungry, sick, or injured. Youāre essentially tireless and immortal for the duration of theĀ āminute.ā So sleeping or eating away your boredom has never really worked for you.Ā
One of the houses on your list forgot to follow the instructions and leave a key for you to get in. At first you figure youāll just send them an email telling them to pay more attention and that youāll do the job tomorrow. Then you decide to go home, get your locksmith tools, and come back.Ā
After finishing up all the jobs on your list, you go into several other homes and small businesses in the area, performing tasks you hope theyāll find helpful, and leaving a hand-painted business card at each one. (The business cards donāt contain your real name just in case somebody thinksĀ āThe Magic Elfā should be subject to breaking and entering laws.)Ā
Speaking of laws, you head down to the local police station to pick up your case file. Youāve been in contact with a detective whoās been investigating corruption within their department, and your ability to investigate unseen and get in almost anywhere between the ticks of the clock has proven invaluable. You see that theyāve also added five missing person cases to your file this evening, which certainly raises your interest in the job.Ā
You make your way through town gathering evidence, and start making your way to the outskirts of town. Since you happen to be out that way (and youāve already solved three of the five missing person cases) you decide to swing by the stone castle youāre building and do some more work there.Ā
The castle walls stand about 20 feet right now, but you know theyāll be much higher when youāre done. Youāre far from any roads and pretty safely tucked away, so for now itās your little secret. Youāve been excavating and moving all the rock yourself, which has been much easier than you first expected since your body doesnāt get tired or sore. Youāve also got a nice system of tunnels going underneath the castle, and you dig and build more of that network for a while.Ā
All that time spent underground has left you feeling rather lonely, so you walk back home to see the face of your sweetheart. Their facial expression has moved ever so slightly since you last saw them, which is a comfort to you. Looking at them gets your imagination going and makes you dream up a story youād like to tell, so you sit on your couch, plug in your laptop, and write a book.Ā
After you finish editing the last chapter for the third time, you finally allow yourself to look at your pocket watch again. Three seconds have officially passed so far.Ā
Itās gonna be a long 20:17.Ā
Wow, Dave. You managed to take a concept that seems nice on the exterior and make it into a real nightmare. This is some good stuff.
reblog if youre an idiot. reblog if youre just a fucking fool.
@im-in-way-2many-fandoms
did nasa just forget bi and lesbians exist or did they ask them beforehand..would they thatā¦i just..what..
its because they donāt want people getting pregnant on space missions, the article is badly written scissoring in space is to be expected and respected
Reblog if you support wlw astronauts getting it on at 0 gravity
In space no one can hear lesbians scream
LESBIAN SPACE FUCKING
This is what tumblr is supposed to be about
The polar opposite of corporate accounts trying to come across as hip and super friendly are the ones for libraries, aquariums, parks systems and the like, that are basically just trying to get people excited about learning and the wonder of history/science by posting things like this:
this one was by the Monterey Bay Aquarium iirc
apparently this is a thing for them:
being self-aware fucking sucks i wish i was a cucumber
look at this extremely chaotic video my fiancƩ took of our cat
okay I feel like I'm the only person who knows that Mulan was a real person and not talked about enough
Her story goes mostly how the Disney version went, except she didnāt go to war as a quest for self-discovery or because she felt as though she couldnāt make her parents proud. The sole and only reason she disguised herself as a young man was to take her Fatherās place in the war.
So when she told her parents that she wanted to this, they were like wtf no youāre a girl and itās chaotic out there. And you know what she did? She put on male clothes and challenged her own Father to a duel. Her dad was like āwho the hell are youā but accepted. When Mulan won and revealed herself as his daughter, he was like wOAH okay you can go. Basically she made sure to get her parentās consent before going, so not only are her parents awesome, she was decent enough to not leave them hanging for 12 years.
Yes, she was at war for 12 years, but she not in fact meet a handsome general. Instead she BECAMEĀ a general. Eventually the war was won, and the Emperor was so impressed by her he wanted to wed the Princess to her. It was only then that she revealed she was in fact a woman. Then she accepted the rewards and went right back home to her normal life.Ā
There is now even a crater on Venus named after her.
[listens to music about drugs while doing crafts at 10pm on a Saturday]
[listens to music about tenderness and love while doing drugs at 3am on a Wednesday]
even sexy bitches need a therapist
of course we do. how do you think we get sexy in the first place
what if instead of censoring our words with **** we usedĀ ( ͔° ĶŹ ͔°)
example: son of aĀ ( ͔° ĶŹ ͔°)
We in 2018 but this mom living in 2048
āthatās sounds like a you problemā is literally one of the funniest ways to respond to criticism
So.. I kind of started liking this girl, which Iām good friends with. We hang out, we study, we cook, sheās is living in the same dorm as me. Wall to wall. The thing is I didnāt realise that I liked her until..
I kind of kissed.. her..
And o h b o y did things get awkward. Weāve just not been the same after.. We donāt hang out just the two of us anymore. I realised how much I miss just us talking and watching movies together. I miss being casual and at ease. Now I overanalyse everything I say and dot know how to act.
But what really breaks my heart is that she has no idĆ©a that I like her. Literally. She didnāt realise. And I feel so stupid. I feel like a big weight, unnecessary and replaceable. At the same time I donāt think I deserve her, who am I to say: hey I like you, now you have to like me back. It doesnāt work that way and Iām well aware. But I canāt let her go. And I canāt just stop talking to her weāre still friends. Our other friends would know and I would never be able to look any of them in the eye again.
My stomach is literally turning from knowing that we sleep next to each other every night with just a wall in between. Is this what all those love songs are about? About wanting to be in love? Because if thatās the case Iād rather not be if it feels like this.
Anger is easier to confront than sadness.
Fuck you is easier to say than I still love you.
I will never understand why people create whole ass fantasy worlds and still oppress women in those worlds.
Like, you can have dragons, but not basic respect for women? Boring. Tired. Basic and sexist.