if you had told past-me that one day dan would just straight up say that asking phil for "editing tips" was a euphemism for dick i would've not believed you. it's truly so far beyond what i would've ever expected them to say that i wouldn't even give the possibility of it a thought, it's that insane to me
Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.
My son was about three when he came to me in the middle of the day and said, “Mommy, there’s a knight behind the bush.” I thought he meant a toy knight or something. So I follow him outside and he goes, “Listen. Do you hear it? It’s night behind the bush.” It was a cricket. A cricket was standing in the little patch of shade under the bush, chirping. So, my son saw this dark area with accompanying nighttime sounds and decided, okay, well, that is a night right there. Their brains are incredible.
My little bean knows she’s two, constantly saying proudly ‘I’m two!’ And the other day she saw this very frail old lady who looked one foot in the grave, pulled a face and said ‘oh shiiiit. She’s three.’ I almost screamed.
the two year old bean is now 11, that’s how long this post has been going around, and I STILL bust out laughing like a maniac whenever I read ‘oh shiiiit. She’s three.’
There's so many horror games about having to try to weed out and deal with inhuman imposters, but I want one where the script is flipped. You are something inhuman, you are an imposter, and if you want to survive you have to blend into a world that is trying to hunt you down and destroy you. You aren't human, but you must masquerade as one and infiltrate their world, or you will die.
I actually think we need to start inverting more Horror premises/tropes.
Like "You have to venture into the scary insane asylum!" VS "You're a patient who was admitted by force to an asylum, and you are very clearly in real danger, but everyone is pretending that you're just deluded, and are essentially leaving you to die because they don't really see you as a person."
I feel like there's a lot of Horror tropes built off of the fear of the other, when in reality it's actually often the other who is in danger. Maybe we could start recognising that more.
Interesting how the first half of the post has picked up popularity while the second part, which perhaps clarifies the idea of the original post, hasn't.
It's been interesting to see what media people are recommending based on the first post alone. A lot of recommendations for games/franchises like World of Darkness, Carrion, Kill All Humans, Among Us, etc. It's interesting because these are games that put you into the shoes of the violent other that has to infiltrate, without actually challenging the idea that the other is a threat. They actually parrot the ideas of the other as violent.
Funnily enough, the people recommending the comedy game Octodad understand the post much better than most of the people recommending horror media. A few mentions of Am I Nima, which isn't finished yet but does look like it could be what I am describing, so brownie points to the people recommending that.
But everyone saying stuff like "This is just being Trans/Autistic/Etc" really gets it, like really really gets it. Horror always communicates the fears and anxieties of the people who create it, this post was basically: "What if instead of communicating the fear of the other, we communicated the fears of the others, which are actually vastly more legitimate than the dominant groups fear of the other. We should recognise that it is overwhelmingly the others who are the ones who actually suffer and die, all for the perceived "saftey" and "comfort" of the dominant group."
This idea is about transphobia, it is about ableism, about anti-imigrant rhetoric and white supremacy, about queerphobia, it's about all of it. It is horror from the perspective of minority groups. It is the twisting of a trope built upon reactionary fears and narratives in order to critique them, it is a direct allegory for all those experiences you are describing.
Overall, it's just interesting to see who gets it and who doesn't.
The entire state of Hawaii has endured 40 inches of rain with no end in sight. There are multiple flood zones. 233 people have had to be rescued. A levee will most likely break and raise the water level to be 40ft high in some places.
If you want to help, please donate to the housing for homeless project Hui Mahi’ai Aina
And to the no kill animal shelter that needs to evacuate animals Oahu SPCA Veterinary Clinic and Animal Shelter
This is actually very nice. I like the soda bottles as reference. (I remember when I was writing ‘Wizards of Ceres’ how I had to do a similar soda-bottle conversion to try to work out how much blood Fai could drink from Kurogane without killing him.)
On the topic of vampires incidentally, this basically means that there is no reason why feeding from someone should necessitate killing them, unless the vamp can chug two soda bottles worth of liquid in one go or carelessly leaves the bottle open when they’re done
Ooh, I like this! The bottles as a reference makes it quite easy to picture mentally - especially since, having previously experienced just how much mess a litre-bottle spilt on the floor actually makes, it gives a better idea of volume etc.
Incidentally, as a frequent blood donor myself (thank you, haemochromatosis), and thus being more aware of the volume of blood donated at each session (the average appears to be 450ml, or 0.45 litres per blood bag filled) and needing to know how long it takes red blood cells and plasma to recover after donation–
about 24 hours for plasma, and up to 8 weeks for red blood cells themselves, which is why the average length between donations is 12 weeks, to ensure the body is well recovered by the next donation (which is also why I was so fucking tired after having to donate once a month for the first three months of my treatment)
– I ended up doing a bit of reading re: blood loss, but this really is the best imagery for it I’ve seen without bogging down into too much science stuff.
Other crucially important facts relevant to vampire porn I have learned:
yes, you can get an erection after donating blood, as the body generally maintains blood pressure equilibrium even if the volume of red blood cells per liquid ml is lower, though if you lose anything more than half a litre you’re probably gonna find it a bit difficult;
erythropoietin is a funky chemical involved in converting stem cells to red blood cells which your body produces when you need more of ‘em, so if we’re going with the standard ‘vampire saliva is an anticoagulant and narcotic stimulant, and/or induces arousal’ conceit, it probably makes sense that said saliva introduces a similar compound into the human blood stream in the post-feeding stage to encourage their food to recover quickly for a repeat feeding, usually while licking the wounds left behind;
your vamp is probably gonna have a really full belly if they try and drink more than the average 450ml or so in one sitting. Blood is quite a bit thicker than water or soft drink; it’s more like drinking a hearty broth or soup. Can you imagine attempting to chug a litre of pressurised soup as it squirts into your mouth with considerable force? No thanks!
tl;dr the science behind blood loss is fascinating, especially in a vampire context, and the government agencies monitoring my search history probably think I’m a serial killer
And in case you aren’t writing about vampires, here’s a page with a neat video of visual rep of blood loss, liter by liter.
AND while I was trying to find that video, I also came across these visual aids:
And this shirt, which only has 250ml (¼th a liter) of fake blood on it:
They also say that even paramedics have a difficult time guessing how much blood was lost, and many of them will say they probably got it wrong. For people used to having our blood be on the inside, it can be startling to see so much of it on the outside- even when ‘so much’ turns out to be actually not as much as we thought.
I’m reblogging this just so I don’t lose it becuz info that I somehow have but also desperetly need. I mena. I know how to write how it FEELS. But that’s depressinf so bleh
It also ties neatly into the simplest version of the formula for getting people emotionally engaged with your characters: or how to build the moment in which your character starts moving from their initial state to the state in which they'll start changing their own lives.
First, you figure out the one important thing the character believes that they're wrong about. There's usually a core misperception that they haven't examined. Once they're forced to engage with it, it'll start to change everything about their perception of the world they're inhabiting and/or the people in it.
Then, as V.E. says, you identify the character's great desire and their great fear: the thing that character wants more than anything, and the thing or situation that terrifies them, and that they'll go to any lengths to avoid.
And having identified these two objects or situations, you build a situation in which the two forces will be in close, direct opposition to one another... then drop the character down in between them, and squeeze. Those two opposing forces become the jaws of a vise... and you crank the vise more and more tightly closed until the character has no choice but to acknowledge those opposing forces, and start (even in a small way) to deal with the pressure being exerted and push their way through.
This does not have to be, initially, a great climactic moment. In fact, it works better if it's not. It's more effective if your character has a brief low-intensity brush with these conditions-in-conflict early on. That way, when your big resolution scene comes along about two-thirds or three-quarters of the way along through the story arc, you'll have set up a resonance between that earlier hint or intimation of what's to come, and the really big blowoff. Your readers will recognize the resonance—the throb of tension between the two occurrences, like the vibration of a plucked string—and will find satisfaction both in the true resolution having been partially telegraphed earlier, and in how it's now being experienced and resolved in full.
This approach also allows you to set up more minor resonances between the realization of the conflict and its final resolution. These can serve to bind the structure of the work more closely together: to make it look (and be) less like a series of loosely strung-together plot events, and more like a unified whole, in which ripples of story business flow backwards and forwards, interpenetrating and influencing one another, and hinting at the big one to come.
But none of this can happen until the paired and opposing what-do-they-most-desire, what-do-they-most-fear axes have been defined. So that's a subject it's smart to spend some while thinking about (and for all your characters, not just the major ones), to be sure you're getting it right.
It's not unusual to get the wrong answers, or merely superficial ones, while you're still working out what's actually going on with the characters. So take your time. Eventually you'll find a set of answers that feel unquestionably right... and you can then nail those down in your notes and get on with making the kind of "good trouble" for your characters that will see them made complete.
Hi! Can you tell me a little bit about the setting in your story and the magic and lore? From what I've heard so far it sounds a bit like urban fantasy but I want to know more!
AAAAA HELLO THERE
VERY EXCITED
okay so. Timing wise it’s in the present
**here is where i saved this as a draft and decided to come back to it on my computer for ease of typing then forgot for a day**
disclaimer, this exists solely in my mind (and also very vague character notes in a word doc) so forgive me if this makes no sense
sobbing violently because a few months ago i went to that doc once after not having checked it in a while and it just said "notes in notebook" so i had to update it ⤵︎
ig technically i did write part of one scene and threw it on ao3
ANYWAY
it's set at this place called West Love School for the Mythical and Magical
i had a dumb idea that it's called west love because something something gods were arguing over who would be the patron and zephyrus and aphrodite and hecate all ended up joint patrons (it's a dumb idea if for no other reason than would the gods really share)
but yeah so kids come from all around the world to go to this school (not sure yet where the school is. at first i was thinking wales but idk why)
not including the ghost children there are about 8 main characters which is part of why this wouldnt make sense
in this world, magic is sort of a willpower thing but not exactly. also "witch" is a gender neutral term as it was intended to be
so if at least one of your parents was a witch then you definitely are one, but you can be a witch without a parent being one too. this is where im a little interested to understand how it works. I think that what it is is that everyone has the capacity to be a witch, but most people arent.
maybe the non-witches do have some small magical abilities. meaning that they could have something so small and unnoticeable that they don't realize it's magic and it could change from person to person. like a person who always manages to wake up feeling well rested no matter how little sleep they get! they assume it's just normal or they're just lucky but turns out its magic! not that they'd ever realize it though
and some people without witch parents are born with such a high capacity for magic that they are a witch
children of the gods are also witches, as are mythical creatures
everyone is allowed to go to this school except for shapeshifters
they have different class levels based on placement, though.
so if you weren't born to witches or you weren't raised by them then you're placed in classes to help you learn the basics that other kids who were raised by witches or taught to practice their magic as a kid would go to the school knowing
i still need to work out the logistics of how it would work so that there isnt always just an unbridgeable gap between those raised by witches and those who weren't
im thinking there would be extra aid available for those who weren't raised by witches and also those who mightve been but still had a hard time learning
so that they could have instructors who know how to teach this stuff in such a way that they'll be able to quickly and easily catch up to their peers
i don't think their peers would be too far advanced, though
because, although children are allowed to practice magic before they get to school, it's not as though they would all be experts.
**here is where i saved this as a draft again and left my house for a few hours**
i imagine it's like with children irl. they're taught some basics at home but the rest is left for actual school to teach them
and some kids might be super far advanced but not that many
(and at that point those few kids wouldn't have their own separate courses but rather be placed with the highest level of the other kids)(because there's so few of them and also what if they learned improper technique idk)
**here is where i did the thing again and went to go make dinner then forgot about it**
okay actually i think this might be enough for one post
OH vampires have an open invitation to West Love when they are younger (eh. yknow what i mean. like, kids in the vampire sense)
vampires can reproduce bc why wouldnt they be able to
there is a vampire royal family but they're relatively chill
OH AND THIS ENTIRE THING IS EXTREMELY QUEER
also final thing, just so i can explain the tag, is they call themselves the Nobodies. (the witches)
im not sure just yet if its just these main characters or all witches
but this is because they have no chosen one, no prophecy, no beef with "dark" creatures (except that whole thing with shapeshifters which could be a focus point)
they're just. Nobody.
so they call themselves the Nobodies
TURNS OUT I THOUGHT THAT ALL OF MY NOTES ON THESE THREE CHARACTERS WERE IN ONE BOOK BUT I ACTUALLY HAVE 18 PAGES OF NOTES ON THEM IN A NOTEBOOK I JUST FOUND IN MY ATTIC
FUCK YEAH
it doesnt have the notes on the separate backstory of one of those three but its so much that i dont have to keep in my memories now
If you get punched in the nose your eyes will water, a lot, even if it didn’t really hurt
Your body follows your head, your head gets pushed one way and your body will want to go that way
Getting hit in the stomach isn’t good, it hurts, getting hit in the diaphragm is worse. Causes your lungs to kinda spasm and make it hard to breathe (diaphragm is between stomach and chest)
When fighting a larger person they will have an easier time forcing you back
The jaw is the knockout button. Hit it hard enough and down for the count
Back of the head is very vulnerable, can cause serious damage if hit there
Kidney punches. They hurt. A lot.
People with experience will try to be where they are comfortable. A wrestler will try to get their opponent on the ground, a boxer will stay on their feet, etc.
Easiest counter to a kick is to get closer to whoever is throwing it, then they won’t have enough room for it to be effective
If you want realism, avoid fancy, flashy moves. They’re less practical and easier to counter.
I will definitely be using these tips in the future. I don’t write fight scenes very often, but given that I’ve never been in an actual fight of any sort … yeah, definitely need to know this stuff for those scenes. Very helpful!
This one's for the scenes with multiple characters, and you're not sure how to keep everyone involved.
Writing group scenes is chaos. Someone’s talking, someone’s interrupting, someone’s zoning out thinking about breadsticks. And if you’re not careful, half your cast fades into the background like NPCs in a video game. I used to struggle with this so much—my characters would just exist in the scene without actually affecting it. But here’s what I've learned and have started implementing:
✨ Give everyone a job in the scene ✨
Not their literal job—like, not everyone needs to be solving a crime or casting spells. I mean: Why are they in this moment? What’s their role in the conversation?
My favourite examples are:
The Driver: Moves the convo forward. They have an agenda, they’re pushing the action.
The Instigator: Pokes the bear. Asks the messy questions. Stirring the pot like a chef on a mission.
The Voice of Reason: "Guys, maybe we don’t commit arson today?"
The Distracted One: Completely in their own world. Tuning out, doodling on a napkin, thinking about their ex.
The Observer: Not saying much, but noticing everything. (Quiet characters still have presence!)
The Wild Card: Who knows what they’ll do? Certainly not them. Probably about to make things worse.
If a character has no function, they’ll disappear. Give them something—even if it’s just a side comment, a reaction, or stealing fries off someone’s plate. Keep them interesting, and your readers will stay interested too.
Instead try…
Person A: You know… the thing
Person B: The “thing”?
Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD
As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:
Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.
Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”
Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.
Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.
Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.
Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.
Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”
Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”
I love your writing tips 🫶🫶🫶tysm.....I wanted to ask how you write a black character
Writing Notes: Black Characters
What terms to use? Terms used to refer to racial and ethnic groups continue to change over time.
One reason for this is simply personal preference; preferred designations are as varied as the people they name.
Another reason is that designations can become dated over time and may hold negative connotations.
When describing racial and ethnic groups, be appropriately specific and sensitive to issues of labeling.
Race - physical differences that groups and cultures consider socially significant. For example, people might identify their race as Aboriginal, African American or Black, Asian, European American or White, Native American, Native Hawaiian or Pacific Islander, Māori, or some other race.
Ethnicity - shared cultural characteristics such as language, ancestry, practices, and beliefs. For example, people might identify as Latino or another ethnicity.
Be clear about whether you are referring to a racial group or to an ethnic group.
Race is a social construct that is not universal, so one must be careful not to impose racial labels on ethnic groups.
Whenever possible, use the racial and/or ethnic terms that your participants themselves use. Be sure that the racial and ethnic categories you use are as clear and specific as possible.
For example, instead of categorizing participants as Asian American or Hispanic American, you could use more specific labels that identify their nation or region of origin, such as Japanese American or Cuban American.
Use commonly accepted designations (e.g., census categories) while being sensitive to participants’ preferred designation.
People of African origin. When writing about people of African ancestry, several factors inform the appropriate terms to use. People of African descent have widely varied cultural backgrounds, family histories, and family experiences.
Some will be from Caribbean islands, Latin America, various regions in the United States, countries in Africa, or elsewhere.
Some American people of African ancestry prefer “Black,” and others prefer “African American”; both terms are acceptable.
However, “African American” should not be used as an umbrella term for people of African ancestry worldwide because it obscures other ethnicities or national origins, such as Nigerian, Kenyan, Jamaican, or Bahamian; in these cases use “Black.”
The terms “Negro” and “Afro-American” are outdated; therefore, their use is generally inappropriate.
Example of bias-free language. Description of African American or Black people.
Problematic: "We interviewed 25 Afro-American people living in rural Louisiana."
Preferred: "We interviewed 25 Black people living in rural Louisiana." or "We interviewed 25 African Americans living in rural Louisiana."
Comment: “Afro-American” and “Negro” have become dated; therefore, usage of these terms generally is inappropriate. Specify region or nation of origin when possible to avoid the impression that all people of African descent have the same cultural background, family history, or family experiences. Note that “Black” is appropriate rather than “African American” to describe people of African descent from various national origins (e.g., Haitian, Nigerian).
How to Write Characters of Color Without Using Stereotypes
Creating characters that belong to a different racial group than you are can be down-right difficult.
You don't want to rely on stereotypes to describe them that can be offensive, harmful, or cliche.
In response to that apprehension, authors often avoid it; they take the easy way out and you don't describe them at all, but is that what's best?
Example. A basic and rudimentary physical descriptions of primary or secondary black characters:
she had chocolate brown skin and big, round eyes
By itself, there is nothing wrong with this description.
It's not necessary for every character to have a full, detailed description.
It's only problematic when this description is compared to the description of a primary or secondary white character:
his brown hair was in a military crew cut and he had icy blue eyes and pale skin
The white character is described more richly and the reader can form a picture in their mind, the black character's description is incomplete in comparison, therefore, the reader is forced to fill in the gaps.
Tips for writing deep character descriptions:
Find a picture of a real person who looks similar to your character (you may need more than one person) and use that as your guide.
Free write. Write out every single detail of the description. Whatever is in your mind just write it out.
Edit. Trim it down so it is more concise and note the words that you feel are stereotypical. Use a thesaurus to exchange those words for others.
You don't have to avoid all racial description. Yes it's ok for your black character to have an afro (some black people have afros).
Here's where the hard work comes in:
Remember that real person you were basing your character description on? Imagine reading your description to that person aloud. Try it. Pretend like that person is in front of you and read your description.
If you wouldn't feel comfortable saying it to that person's face then it shouldn't be on your page.
Finally, be creative and if it doesn't feel right keep editing and ask for help.
3 Warning Signs you can use for your work to determine if you should “avoid that Black character.” As in, rethink, reimagine, and rewrite.
If most of their scenes involve them giving a pep talk because they understand the main character or MC’s struggles better than anyone else due to their “unique” identity, you should avoid that Black character.
If the character has an aggressive, angry, or hypersexual* personality that constantly has to be tempered or simmered down, usually by a fairer-skinned, ‘morally superior’ individual, you should avoid that Black character.
If the character is either (A) the MC’s moral compass because they are especially good or (B) so morally corrupt that they eventually lead to their own demise, you should avoid that Black character.
*On top of Black characters often being depicted as hypersexual, there is a related issue that is almost the inverse of this: Black characters being hypersexualized, or turned into something to be observed and objectified. Sexual thoughts and actions are thrust upon them even if they are doing nothing to provoke it. In this way, their mere existence is turned into something sexual just because they are a Black person in a Black body. Descriptions associated with their body will—for absolutely no perceivable reason—begin to be described with animalistic language. For example, let’s say, in a book, that every other character smiled or smirked. But then when it gets to the Black character, it’s suddenly, “He grinned wide with his canines showing.”
In media, Black characters seem to live at the extremes of the moral spectrum.
They either live on a holy pedestal or are so far in the trenches of depravity that, at some point in the book, they have to be “put down like an animal” for the greater good of the world (which is so harmful).
In other cases, the MC has to cut all ties with them, showing that the MC has “risen above” their lowliness and corruption (usually in the form of breaking out of an abusive friendship or relationship, breaking a drug addiction, leaving ‘the hood,’ cutting ties with a gang, choosing peace over revenge, etc.).
Regardless of which extreme the Black character exists at, both serve the function of dehumanizing the character. They are pushed into the margins of humanity, either morally above or below the common person. Either way, they have reached a place beyond humanity, somewhere that is usually painted in these cases as hard to sympathize or empathize with. It often makes them two-dimensional and rigid.
Consider the moral compass Black character who will, more often than not, preach forgiveness and love at the most inappropriate times, and is ready to help wash the MC clean of their sins or warn them about what lies ahead on the “dark path” if they so choose it. And for the morally corrupt Black character, they typically spit every negative stereotype about the Black community back into readers’ faces without context, compassion, or tenderness, which is uncomfortable and heartbreaking.
Ultimately, tread carefully—carefully—in your pursuit of diverse voices in your work. If you do not take this venture with deep consideration and caution, you will run into trouble achieving the rich representation you’re aiming for in your writing. However, just caring about having better representation is important in itself.
Representation is a powerful tool that can inspire communities and amplify the voices of marginalized groups across the globe.
Reading is a tool that allows us to expand our minds and explore the world through written word. When we see ourselves represented correctly in texts, it gives us the space to imagine our futures, learn new things about ourselves, and challenge how we view the world around us.
When we see characters like ourselves become the hero of their own stories, it can give us the power to find that courage and bravery within ourselves.
But just like healthy representation can make our dreams and sense of self flourish, inaccurate or incomplete representation can limit our imaginations and impair our ability to know where and with whom we may belong.
Black people have been excluded from and misrepresented in retellings of history for centuries.
Due to hateful societies and racist conditions throughout time, much of Black history has been forgotten, denied, or stolen.
Because of this, traditional methods of research may not always show the full picture.
Sometimes, a story can capture the truth better than a graph.
Alternative Ways to Write Characters and Plots
Write multiple characters from the same group, so there isn’t one token representative. Additionally, people are often friends with those whom they can relate to. So for instance, rather than having a single gay character in a group of straight characters, a friend group might be made up of multiple LGBTQ+ individuals.
Write BIPOC characters who have agency, complexity, and the ability to fight their own battles. Instead of having a white character advocate for, speak for, and fight for people of color, give characters of color the opportunity to speak and advocate for themselves.
Give BIPOC and LGBTQ+ individuals their own character arcs, with their own goals and desires, rather than making their entire lives revolve around white and straight characters.
Run your book by a sensitivity reader. Sensitivity readers will read unpublished manuscripts and give feedback on cultural inaccuracies, biases, and stereotypes.
Don’t make your villain the sole BIPOC person in the entire story. Similarly, don’t make your villain the sole gay character or sole disabled character.
Don’t kill every BIPOC, LGBTQ+, or disabled character. This sends the message that these characters—and by extension real-life people who are members of these groups— are unimportant.
Overall, make sure that your characters are complex, realistic individuals who are not defined by stereotype.
Should white people write about people of color? "If you’re thinking about writing outside your culture and you’re afraid to get it wrong, be honest with yourself. Ask yourself why you want to do it. That’s where you start." (author Malinda Lo).
It takes much more consideration than omitting obvious, familiar stereotypes. Instead of focusing on the fact that you need to ensure that your audience knows the character is not white, focus on their inner lives.
Think of their humanity beyond the constrictions of race as a complete signifier, not as the driving force behind the character’s existence, but a puzzle piece.
If you’re not ready to acknowledge and confront your white privilege, it will certainly cloud the creation of your character.
If you are a white writer and you wish to inhabit the consciousness of a POC, do not base their narrative around noble suffering. Sometimes it’s the seemingly mundane details that make a character feel alive.
When whiteness is the standard in literature, “Otherness” becomes defined by easily available tropes and cliches. When race is involved, many writers cling to the mantra “write what you know.”
More excerpts from Malinda Lo's answer:
Anyone who wants to write outside of their culture has to remember this: Books are personal, and one person’s reaction does not mean that everybody is going to react the same way. In fact, it’s likely that every single reader will have a different reaction.
This doesn’t mean that it’s okay to blithely write whatever the hell you want about a culture that isn’t yours. Writers who are writing outside of their culture do have to work extra hard to research that culture, because they have much farther to go to get to the kind of instinctual knowledge of it that allows someone to hear my Chinese name and feel that it sounds poetic.
Writing outside your culture is a complicated endeavor that requires extensive research, being aware of your own biases and limitations, and a commitment to delving deeply into the story. However, writing any fiction requires this. There are no shortcuts to writing fiction truthfully and well. There really aren’t. The writer must put in the time so that they become confident in their decisions, and there are a million and one decisions to make when writing a novel.
If you’re a white writer who wants to write about a culture not your own, go for it. There’s no reason you shouldn’t do it. Some people will prefer that you don’t, but those people don’t speak for everyone. On the other hand, if you’re terrified of writing outside your culture, you don’t have to. There’s not necessarily any reason for you to do something that makes you that uncomfortable. I believe that writing is a personal thing, and you should write what you personally want to write.
Thank you for your lovely words. I'm not exactly the best person for this question, so here are some references I found for you. Learned a lot from these as well, so thanks for the request. Hope this helps with your writing!
what to do if there's too much dialogue in my story? how do i fix the 'not enough action'?
also what if my story's too short? it's supposed to be a novel
How Long Should a Novel Be? If you’re writing your first novel, the general rule of thumb for novel writing is a word count in the 80,000 to 100,000 range.
While anything over 40,000 words can fall into the novel category, 50,000 is considered the minimum novel length.
Anything over 110,000 words is considered too long for a fiction novel.
Each book in J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings trilogy has an enormous word count, with the longest clocking in at over 175,000 words.
Despite their ongoing success, those epic sagas are the rare exception to general word count rules.
Typically, you’ll want your novel to be much shorter.
Within the world of literary fiction, different genres follow more specific word count targets:
Thriller: A good suspense story has to keep the plot moving to keep the reader engaged. The ideal count for a mystery is a 70,000 and 90,000 word novel.
Science fiction and fantasy: Sci-fi novels are an art in world-building. The need to invent a completely new environment makes this genre longer than others. A fantasy novel will usually have 90,000 to 120,000 words.
Romance novels: Not every love story is an epic like Wuthering Heights. Romantic plots now tend to be fun, fast reads. Some are as short as 50,000 words—the perfect book for a beach vacation. The high-end romance novel word count is 100,000.
Historical fiction: Fleshing out an imagined historical world lends itself to a higher word count, so historical fiction tends to be closer to 100,000 words.
Non-fiction: There is no definitive word count guide for non-fiction books due to the many subgenres. If you’re writing a non-fiction book, be sure to look up that category to find the length of similar books. For example, memoirs are generally 80,000 to 90,00 words.
Reasons Word Count Is Important in Writing. While there are no hard and fast rules on the amount of words a book needs, there are highly-suggested guidelines in the traditional publishing industry, especially for first time authors.
Unless you’re self-publishing, you’ll need to pay attention to how many words you use to compose your first draft. Here are 3 reasons why word count is important:
Shorter novels are more marketable. A literary agent and traditional publisher are less likely to take a chance on long novels when they come from a new writer. An adult fiction book is most marketable in the suggested word count.
Longer novels are more expensive to print. Longer books increase the number of pages that need to be printed. That makes them more expensive to print and a bigger investment.
Audiences expect a certain word count. Audiences are used to a certain story length and page count, so an unknown author can attract more readers by staying in the expected range.
Too Much Dialogue. Some stories rely heavily on dialogue. Others have very little. Most strike a balance somewhere in between.
To determine what's right for your own story, consider the effect so much dialogue has on the reader's experience.
What atmosphere does it create?
How does it impact the reader's understanding of the characters or the situation?
Keep in mind the role of dialogue and its limitations.
Some dialogue-heavy fictions fail because the dialogue is used carelessly.
Make sure you're not cramming information into dialogue when it might be more appropriate in narrative.
Also, be thoughtful when considering what to include in an exchange.
Crafting a scene is all about selectivity and you should include only what's important.
Example: Post-work chitchat might be commonplace in real life, but it's not terribly exciting in fiction. If the heart of the scene is to reveal a character's insecurities about the drive, we don't need fluff taking up space.
Since there's no set formula for how much dialogue you can use, keep an eye out for these common pitfalls and consider the effect of a dialogue-heavy read in the context of your work.
This should help you figure out if you've used too much or just the right amount.
Is it possible to use too much dialogue?
Here's one answer: No, a story can't have too much dialogue. Plenty of stories, including many by Ernest Hemingway and Raymond Carver, rely heavily on dialogue.
Of course, the opposite answer is true, too: Yes, it's possible to use too much dialogue. If the dialogue is unnecessary, it's “too much." That might happen in a story packed full of dialogue or one that has only a few lines of it. Exchanges should move the story forward and reveal something significant.
Relying on dialogue may be a stylistic choice, but an exchange shouldn't be an indiscriminate volley of words. It should have purpose.
More strategies for improving the dialogue in your own work:
Mix dialogue with narration. Long runs of dialogue can dislodge a reader from the action of a scene. As your characters talk, interpolate some descriptions of their physical postures or other activity taking place in the room. This mimics the real-world experience of listening to someone speaking while simultaneously taking in visual and olfactory stimuli.
Give your main character a secret. Sometimes a line of dialogue is most notable for what it withholds. Even if your audience doesn’t realize it, you can build dynamic three-dimensionality by having your character withhold a key bit of information from their speech. For instance, you may draft a scene in which a museum curator speaks to an artist about how she wants her work displayed—but what the curator isn’t saying out loud is that she’s in love with the artist. You can use that secret to embed layers of tension into the character’s spoken phrases.
Look to great examples of dialogue for inspiration. If you're looking for a dialogue example in the realm of novels or short stories, consider reading the great books written by Mark Twain, Judy Blume, or Toni Morrison. Within the world of screenwriting, Aaron Sorkin is renowned for his use of dialogue.
Tips for "not enough action"
Create visuals. Use action in a concise, impactful manner in order to deliver strong images for the audience. The clearer your scenes are, the more easily the audience can understand and absorb them. You don’t want readers or viewers to be hung up on seemingly impossible details or sequences that don’t flow. Visuals that get right to the point and can be quickly understood are best for conveying action.
Technical writing style. Whether you’re writing descriptive paragraphs in a novel or stage directions in a script or screenplay, you must be able to articulate the scene you envision in your head without wearing down your reader with technical drivel. Balancing specific details of your action sequences with a propulsive story isn’t easy to do. Sometimes a great action sequence doesn’t come together in a first draft, so focus your revisions on clarifying each action and providing vivid detail without besieging your reader with dull technical terms.
Striking a balance. There are no hard-and-fast rules about when and when not to blend dialogue, action, and narrative. To weave them together well is to find your story's rhythm. But there are a few questions you can ask yourself about your story, especially in the rewrite stage, that can help you know which elements are most effective for a particular scene, and which might be better used elsewhere.
Ask yourself:
Is the story moving a little too slowly, and do I need to speed things up? (Use dialogue.)
Is it time to give the reader some background on the characters so they're more sympathetic? (Use narrative, dialogue, or a combination of the two.)
Do I have too many dialogue scenes in a row? (Use action or narrative.)
Are my characters constantly confiding in others about things they should only be pondering in their minds? (Use narrative.)
Likewise, are my characters alone in their heads when my characters in conversation would be more effective and lively? (Use dialogue.)
Is my story top-heavy in any way at all—too much dialogue, too much narrative, or too much action? (Insert more of the elements that are missing.)
Are my characters providing too many background details as they're talking to each other? (Use narrative.)
Whether we're using dialogue, action, or narrative to move the story forward, any or all 3 of these elements are doing double duty by revealing our characters' motives.
Your story's dialogue can reveal motive in a way that's natural and authentic because whether we're aware of it or not, we reveal our own motives all the time in our everyday lives.
And to understand a character's motive is to understand the character.
Sleep Deprivation - occurs when you don’t routinely get sufficient sleep at night.
Seven to eight hours of quality sleep time is the baseline for most adults, yet the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that one third of American adults suffer from measurable sleep loss.
This lack of sleep can lead to disruptions in everyday life, from grogginess and delayed reaction times to serious medical conditions.
Causes of Sleep Deprivation
Many factors can prevent you from getting a good night's sleep. These include:
Sleep disorders: Certain conditions like sleep apnea and restless leg syndrome can interfere with healthy sleep.
Mental health conditions: Depression and anxiety can be sources of severe sleep deprivation.
External stimuli: Loud noises, bright lights, and hot temperatures can all prevent you from getting enough sleep.
Work schedules: Shift work at night can clash with your natural circadian rhythms and trigger sleep deprivation.
Physical activity: Exercise can inhibit sleep onset if scheduled too close to bedtime.
Effects of Sleep Deprivation
The consequences of sleep deprivation can be serious. A person operating on insufficient sleep may face increased risk of the following effects.
Daytime drowsiness: A poorly rested person can go through the day feeling groggy. This can lead to drowsy driving, car accidents, mental slip-ups, and poor cognition.
Microsleep: In addition to general drowsiness, a person running on very little sleep can experience microsleep—very short bursts of unconsciousness that feel like blacking out.
Mood swings: A person overcome by sleepiness may be cranky and irritable, and they may also experience headaches that further sour their mood.
Memory issues: Poor sleep patterns that cause a person to get less sleep have the potential to affect memory recall.
Tips for Avoiding Sleep Deprivation
To ensure you get consistent and sufficient sleep duration, consider the following strategies.
Stick to a bedtime routine. Sleep difficulties can stem from inconsistent schedules and routines. Improve your sleep hygiene by creating consistent sleep habits and a bedtime routine. This may involve stretching, an evening shower, or a cup of tea.
Avoid digital screens before bed. The blue light of electronics can mimic the effects of sunlight and prevent your body from entering its natural sleep cycle. Keep digital devices out of the bedroom, and when you must use them before bed, use a blue light filter that keeps the most disruptive light out of your eyes.
Consider a natural sleep remedy. Supplemental melatonin can help you fall asleep when your routine sleep schedule has been disrupted. Take care to not build reliance on sleep medications that may dampen the restorative effects of REM sleep and non-REM sleep.
Lower the temperature of your bedroom. A nighttime room temperature of 60 to 67 degrees Fahrenheit signals to your brain that it’s time to sleep.
Practice mindful relaxation techniques. A bedtime ritual of deep breathing exercises and slow exhales can promote progressive muscle relaxation. Mindfulness can also eliminate tension while allowing your body to drift into drowsiness and get enough hours of sleep.
Monitor your health conditions. Certain medical conditions, like sleep apnea and restless leg syndrome, can impair sleep onset and deprive you of sleep over the course of the night. Seek medical advice for handling such conditions, and work with your healthcare provider to develop treatment and coping strategies.
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