notice how everyone is horny today

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@the-dubious-creature
notice how everyone is horny today
Analysis so bad you don't even know what it's talking about anymore.
What??
Sarcasm.
This is hopeless.
IT WAS FUCKING
HORRIBLE
Wooooahdude I just found this out but you're heirloom tomatoes actually. Did you know this
Because you're so
ppl without meds: wow…. i can't imagine being dependent on medicine... pills every day? injecting myself every week? how tragic
ppl who need meds: holy fuck they invented the solution to my problem and i literally just need to take magic tiny rocks and inject some substance every week. oh my god. i get to feel better in literally any capacity. holy shit
ppl who need meds but can't access them/meds for their thing don't exist yet: holy fuck I wish I had tiny magic rocks or injectable substance or cream or gel or potion or implant to take at whatever rate necessary to fix my problem. I'd kill to take that every day/week/etc forever if it would fix my thing
Gamecube girl's Wii wife is back from her run :3 (she/her for both) [commissions are open! info here]
inspired tactic from our gm:
just hallucinated only the bottom right panel and started giggling and decided i wanted to find the real thing to laugh about it again. and i couodnt so i had to go into my boyfriends dms and ask them if "do you have truckparts"
gonna be so real i did not realize the bottom was about purchasing and shipping automobile parts. I thought they were straight up intending to kill and dismantle the UPS truck like some auto mechanic apex predator.
one curiousity search on ebay to see if people are still going nuts over beanie babies has led to getting a strong contender for the funniest email ever
When your doctor prescribes you the generic
Guillermo Del Toro is the only director who would shoot Gepetto making Pinocchio as if it were Dr. Frankenstein creating the monster.
And then shoot Dr. Frankenstein creating the monster as if it were Gepetto making Pinocchio.
Even more devastating, the scene where pinocchio was made was very violent in looks and almost angry but gepetto grew to love his creation like a son but the scene of making the creature was loving and attentive but victor grew to hate his creation .
Clue (1985) is a table-top RPG session.
The Motorist, The Cop, The Singing Telegram, and the Preacher are the same two players as Mr. Boddy, The Cook, The Motorist, Yvette, The Cop, and Singing Telegram Girl.
They made new characters and joined back in, only to not last terribly long. So they try again.
BTW, I think this timeline ALMOST work out: The only time we've technically got three characters introduced & alive at once is when Mr. Boddy first appears: Someone is playing Yvette, someone else is playing The Cook, and now a third person is playing Mr. Boddy?
Unless Mr. Boddy killed the cook off-screen between the last time we see her (serving dinner) and when Mr. Boddy shows up. Maybe Mr. Boddy's player wasn't able to make it, so The Cook's player decided to switch? "Yeah, I'll switch. Just have me show up as a corpse later, it's fine. Mr. Boddy sounds more fun right now"
I'm also trying to figure out what classes the characters are playing, assuming this is some kind of Closed Circle Murder Mystery Role Playing Game.
Wadsworth is playing a Butler. You can't have a murder mystery without a butler, obvs. Gets access to secret passages.
Colonel Mustard is playing a Soldier. You probably get bonuses to attacks, knowledge of weapons, some kind of stat that makes you less likely to panic, that sort of thing.
Professor Plum is playing Doctor. Not one with good Medical Knowledge rolls, apparently. Possibly dual-classing into Pervert.
Mrs. White is playing a Widow subclass of the Femme Fatale class.
Mr. Boddy is playing a Blackmailer. He's got Evidence against other players, and can give certain other players secret orders they have to obey (within restrictions). A powerful class but it also makes you target #1 for several other players, so you don't last long. Be careful with your Fake Death ability: if you don't plan it out, you risk another player just waiting until you stop pretending to be dead, and killing you again.
Mr. Green is playing a G-Man. You start with a Hidden Gun, you've got a Cover Story, you get to read other player's hidden backstories, etc. The player has amazing rolls at Quickdraw Shot.
Miss Scarlet is playing another Femme Fatale, but the Madam subclass. Her hidden backstory is the Espionage class. Her player rolls badly on Count Bullets, which lets her force another player to be Out Of Ammo during a Standoff.
Mrs. Peacock is playing the Noblewoman. She's got Money and Connections and she's used to playing ruthless with lives.
The Cook is playing, well, a Cook. You can Poison others with impunity!
The Cop is playing a Cop. Guns and Authority, but a big target on your back. But they pulled off a great I Called For Backup and came back as...
The Chief is a Cop special subclass you can only get by dying as a Cop and being very lucky. You come back with incredible abilities and can usually win right there.
And to make a long story short...
The Singing Telegram Girl is a Bard!
The Baby Youtube memes are so specifically funny to me as a daycare teacher like I cannot express how much my kids LITERALLY talk to each other about the silly little events in their silly little lives with the false gravitas and flare of click bait
reading a negative review of something you love written by a person who very clearly didn’t understand it at all
reading a positive review of something you love written by a person who very clearly didn’t understand it at all
... the worst bit is I know several people this could be, especially given the 'in Australia' clarification
If you know them then there's a chance I might know some of them and that thought will keep me up at night.
This wasn’t the guy who we all know who used to spray his jeans with Mortein and then light himself on fire, was it?
He used to sit at the back of the bus, cup his hand, spray deodorant into it, then open it and light it on fire with a lighter in one fell swoop to try and impress girls.
He had to stop because the bus company begged our school to tell him to stop bc of legal liability. His hands never actually got damaged after doing it for about a year.
I reached out to my old friend in question here, because I've been thinking about him all day.
I do not know what "the amulet" is. I have no idea what "the amulet" is referring to.
I instantly remembered when he said that.
While we were all at the local park doing legal things that teenagers would do back in the late 2000s, my friend here found a rock at our old smoke spot that was unusually smooth and flat. He liked it so much that he took it to the woodwork classrooms at school, drilled a hole in it, and hung it on a necklace.
When we asked why he weanwearing this dinky-ass pebble on his neck, he claimed it prevented him from ever getting food-related illnesses: wouldn't get food poisoning, couldn't over-eat, was able to ingest anything (prior to him finding The Amulet, a few of us used to play a game called "Devil's Piss" where we would take turns shoving random food bits into a bottle of coke, and the first person to take a sip would get two dollars from the other players).
When we all asked him for the proof that this rock is magical—because nobody believed him, obviously—he said to meet him behind the History block at lunch, where he said he would drink two litres (or half a gallon) of milk in one go and not puke.
We met him there, and about ten of us all watched him down a whole bottle of strawberry milk in two or three breaths.
He didn't puke.
He jumped up and down and punched his stomach to prove it.
He still didn't puke.
I'm so glad I'm alive.
this is why you go outside, something like this could never be scripted
this is why you go
outside, something like this could
never be scripted
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Kobbo tee doodle
Every now and then I mention something about the city of Brno to my american friends and it often causes much confusion/concern, so I wanna try to make a list summary of Everything Wrong With Brno
imma start
there is a place called Hell
there is a public transport stop called Crematorium, it is named after the nearby crematorium
it is oddly easy to take the wrong tram and accidentally end up at the Crematorium
the crematorium looks like this
add more
- there is a memorial plaque in the city to a woman who fell into the ground. In 1970 (I think) the lady was standing on a bus stop when a pipe burst, the ground opened up and the woman wasn't found for like 50 years because of the extensive ancient tunnels under the city
- all the tourist atractions are super creepy. 1) the ossuary. 2) the monk mummies under a church. 3) the city catacombs. 4) the medieval prison exposition at the castle. 5) the best city museum is probably Anthropos, the archeological museum. Full of bones.
- magic mushrooms grow wild all around the city
- there is a massive underground former strip club that got turned into a tea room. It's absolutely massive and cavernous. They didn't get rid of the pool tables and erotic art but they serve 50 types of green tea and desserts.
- the nudist lake in the old quarry
- Timo, the Banksy of Brno
- numbers 44 and 84, the circular route buses which arrive in random intervals and sometimes make you get out and then get back in. All of this makes sense to us locals.
- the smoking traffic signs and other random poles
- Kamenná kolonie: the village in the middle of a massive fuckn city
- One of the biggest prides of the Moravian Gallery is the Head of Medusa by Rubens. A very creepy painting which is plastered around the city and gave me nightmares in the kindergarten
- you can buy wine from the barrel in basically every shop
- there is a fishing shop with a maggot vending machine
Ja som asi slepá a žijem pod kameňom. Brno má katakomby??? Dopravné značenia o fajčení????? Ženská v tuneloch?????
och ne, ne značky o kouření
Brno is on the next level
AC6 Pilot OC Commission!