welcome!

ollie :) 21, she/they. pfp by @mercurytomato. everything type of blog... ao3 user absent_trees.

[queenhaggis]

i could actually talk for hours about how important it is that shane proposed to ilya instead of the other way around because ilya needs to feel wanted and chosen unconditionally whereas shane needs to finally take control of his freedom and happiness with how he lives his own life

[catbishonen]

that pynch scene in cdth but it’s leviticus AU

[aniconist]

when people are like “he’s not even attractive you could find a guy that looks like him at any gas station” i’m like….. well you see there’s beauty everywhere actually

[what-even-is-thiss]

You can also find a sunset at a gas station

[thriftedspacesuit]

time to break out my favorite photo I ever took

[dyleeart]

I love your yuri kataang so much! Can you draw more 🥹

I haven't drawn their book 3b versions so here it is

[necromancelena]

Going outside with wet hair from showering is humiliating because everyone sees you and thinks stuff like "eww gross here comes the wet girl". But going outside with wet hair when it's raining? Unambiguous boon because now everyone is thinking stuff like "wow, she's so topical" and "her hair is a scathing critique of the times we live in"

[loveandlegacy]

as a rule it's always more interesting when two people who know each other outlive a third person that they both loved and then their relationship becomes So Much Weirder and more emotionally fraught, entangled, and charged when that third person dies

[cutetanuki-chan]

[fairycosmos]

it’s genuinely so funny that im alive and this is what im doing

[annabelle--cane]

what I mean: "sexual intercourse" is as much a social construct as "romantic courtship," and you discover this very quickly as a queer person if you try to talk to able bodied straight cis people who literally think the only thing that counts as Actual Sex is penis-in-vagina penetration, like they call oral "foreplay" it's so dire. various people have a lot of vested interest in cleanly defining "sex" vs "not sex" for a whole slew of reasons (ex. censorship dodging and enforcing, conferring the social clout of virginity and prowess, finding and closing loopholes about premarital sex, deciding what relationships "count" as serious partnerships, ligating what is general assault vs sexual assault vs Something That's Definitely Probably Fine And Not Sexual At All, Actually, etc.), and it's really not something you can just fall back on as obvious common sense that people are dumb for questioning.

what I say: sex isn't real and you can't have it

[infertilityidol]

giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

[thewickedavatar]

the casual ironic homoeroticism of cis dude gamers is awkward and i’m still unsure why they do it 

[istillfuckwithdemilovato-deacti]

In ancient Sparta they used to promote homoromantic relationships within the barracks because it was believed you would fight better if you were fighting for your boyfriend next to you

[thewickedavatar]

is this why dudes at the grandmaster rank on overwatch talk about blowing each other

[istillfuckwithdemilovato-deacti]

You will never understand a warrior’s bond

[storybookprincess]

so back when my little brother was in high school, my mom went as a chaperone for their senior year field trip to an amusement park. which, you know, brave move to volunteer to supervise a bunch of high school seniors let loose in a wonderland of rollercoasters and sugar

my brother and his friends in this field trip group were truly great kids. but they were not above run of the mill teenage boy shenanigans. it’s the end of senior year, you and all your buddies are at the amusement park, you’re naturally going to want to act like a complete moron

there was one kid in the group who was especially prone to goofing around. committed to the bit, some may say. my mom knew that if nonsense was going to break out, he’d likely be at the center of it

so she goes up to this kid at the very start of the trip and says “hey, i’m kinda worried about this chaperoning thing. this might be a lot to ask, but can you help me keep an eye on everyone? you wouldn’t have to do anything big, just be an extra set of eyes for me.”

friends, this kid proceeded to run their field trip group like the fucking us marines. everyone is at the meet up spots at the designated time. everyone waits in line for the rides like a bunch of boy scouts. the second the horseplay gets too out of hand, this kid is getting it back under control

it’s incredible how differently people act based on the expectations you set. instead of going to this kid and saying “hey, i know you’re trouble, so i’ve got my eye on you,” my mom went “hey, i know you have influence in your peer group, so i think you can help me.”

treat someone like a problem, they’ll act like a problem. but give people a chance to help, make them feel important, and they usually rise far above the occasion. it was a stroke of genius that i’m honestly still in awe of

[jackkdaniels]

look at me. listen to me. this is directed at americans for the record. the reason you think North American animals are boring is because you live here. there are so many cool and beautiful animals here. we have beavers. we have wolves. we have moose. we have sea lions. we have armadillos. we have mountain lions. we have alligators. we have foxes. we have bighorn sheep. we have manatees. we have bears. we have ocelots. we have BISON. and that’s not even touching on the birds! or the turtles! or the snakes! we have amazing beautiful and diverse wildlife right here and it deserves to be appreciated and protected

[matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll]

Possums are the only North American marsupial, they eat ticks and keep down cases of Lyme, and they can't carry rabies! We only have two native boa constrictors; the rubber boa and the rosy boa! Bison and the American Alligator are LITERAL MEGAFAUNA LEFT OVER FROM PREHISTORY!

[scifigrl47]

When I was a teenager, I was hiking with my family on Cape Cod. I was not a willing participant to these hikes; I would've preferred to be back at our rental cabin with a book.

But my parents were birders, so hiking we did go.

And about a mile up the trail, a woman came rushing up to us, clutching her binoculars to her chest. "Come quickly," she said, with a British accent. "You have to see this!"

This is what birders are like. They are as excited about a life bird as any fan would be spotting their favorite celebrity. You have to see, you have to.

So my parents rushed off with her, and I plodded along behind them.

To find a cluster of Brits huddled in a bird blind, staring at..

A blue jay.

A goddamn blue jay.

And I was a teenager, but I knew better then to mouth off in front of my mom. So I nodded, and smiled, and bit my tongue, until an elderly man looked at me with tears in his eyes, and said, "Isn't it BEAUTIFUL?"

And I stopped. And looked at it. The way they were. As if it were new. And damned if they weren't right.

I think of that, to this day. That sometimes, you need to step back, and see the world as if it were new. Strange, and haunting, and beautiful, so beautiful.

[redfagdiver]

Shout out to "enunciate" for being one of those words that forces you to do itself.

[seravph]

“what’s the worst fruit” i hope you fucking die im strangling you what the hell is wrong with you. ‘the worst fruit’… has god not made all of these fruits in the same light???? cunt

[rottenlittlefink]

Red Delicious Apples

[punk-rocking-nerd]

[coffee-khaleesi-deactivated2020]

When I was training to be a battered women’s advocate, my supervisor said something that really blew my mind:

“You can always assume one thing about your clients; and that is that they are doing their best. Always assume everyone is doing their best. And if they’re having a day where their best just isn’t that great, or their best doesn’t look like your best, you have to be okay with that.”

Any now whenever anyone in my life, either a friend or a client, frustrates me, disappoints me, or pisses me off, I just tell myself They are doing their best. Their best isn’t that great today, but I have days where my best isn’t that great either. 

[bogfox]

Op I’d like to thank you for sharing this. Ever since the first time I’ve read it I’ve held it in my mind and it really has helped me to be kinder to others and to myself.

[brightloveee]

I know we talk a lot about how Ilya turned himself from a ho into a housewife, and how much he loves to be a My Husband guy. "My Husband" this, "My Husband" that, "Have I told you about My Husband Shane Hollander?" And yes. True. Love that.

BUT, do you ever think about how quietly, but equally, chuffed Shane is to be a My Husband guy too?

There are definitely points in Shane's story when he thinks This Fcked Up Thing Between Them will never amount to anything but sex – he doesn't dare even entertain it until the cottage. And there are YEARS in between when Shane is pretty much convinced that in order to have a happy future, he would need to be in a heterosexual relationship. He has a lot of internalized comphet notions that take him trying and failing to date Rose to dismantle. Based on his upbringing and environment, he thinks he NEEDS to be with a woman in order to have a long-term partner that he can be with publicly. Rose is the ONLY person he's ever liked enough to even consider, but he can't even like HER enough for that.

There has to be a period of mourning, after that conversation with Rose, when Shane thinks maybe he WON'T get to have a partner. After all, things with Ilya are FAR from assured at that time.

Meanwhile, he's certified Husband Material. As I've Shaneterpreted before, he's a major Protector and Provider. He's DYING to do Husband Chores for someone. Man the grill. Mow the lawn. Make the fire. Kill the spiders. He's worked so hard, he's built this big cottage, and for what?

He WANTS to share it with someone, and for a while there's a strong possibility that he won't, and he'll never get to have that.

So when it all works out, and he gets to think of himself and Ilya as an "Us," I think he gets a little smile to himself. He's calling the pharmacy like, "Hi, yes, I need to refill a prescription for My Husband." "Hi, is this the lost and found? My Husband lost his earbuds again." "Two tickets, for me and My Husband."

He looks normal. For all the world he's as calm and collected as ever. But internally, he's JUMPING for joy. He gets to have a husband! And it's ILYA!