Don't Do That

Tripping Over Steps Since 1988 ~on twitter @themistakemaven~

[exmellivorinae]

OH MY GOD whyyyy did no one tell me you’re supposed to send thank-yous after interviews?? Why would I do that???

“Thank you for this incredibly stressful 30 minutes that I have had to re-structure my entire day around and which will give me anxiety poos for the next 24 hours.”

I HATE ETIQUETTE IT’S THE MOST IMPOSSIBLE THING FOR ME TO LEARN WITHOUT SOMEONE DIRECTLY TELLING ME THIS SHIT

[a-windsor]

NO ONE TOLD YOU???? WTF! I HAVE FAILED YOU. Also: Dear ______: Thank you so much for the opportunity to sit down with you (&________) to discuss the [insert job position]. I am grateful to be considered for the position. I think I will be a great fit at [company name], especially given my experience in __________. [insert possible reference to something you talked about, something that excited you.] I look forward to hearing from you [and if you are feeling super confident: and working together in the future]. Sincerely, @mellivorinae

[exmellivorinae]

THIS IS A LIFESAVING TEMPLATE

[a-windsor]

YOU ARE WELCOME

[emeraldboreas-deactivated201809]

My brother got a really great paid internship one summer. The guy who hired him said the deciding factor was the professional thank you letter my brother sent after the interview.

[suaimhneas-peace-deactivated202]

should it be an email? or like a physical letter?

[daminwayne]

email, you want to send it within a few hours at max after the interview if you can so it’s fresh in their mind who you are. 

[khirsahle]

Confirmed! I interviewed for a job right after arriving in NY. The interview went incredibly well, and I went home and immediately wrote a thank you letter and put it in the mail. I had a super good feeling about this interview.

I didn’t get the job.

However, a few weeks later, I was called in to interview with another editor in the same company, and I did get that job. I found out later from the initial editor (the one who didn’t hire me) that he had planned to offer me the job, but since I didn’t follow up with a thank you letter, he assumed I didn’t really want it. He offered the job to another contender–but when he got my letter in the mail shortly after the offer had already been made, he went to HR and gave me a glowing recommendation. It was based on that recommendation that I got called in for the second interview.

So: send an email thank you immediately (same day!) after the interview. If you’re feeling extra, go ahead and send a written one too. OR go immediately to a coffee shop, write the letter, and return to the office and give it to the secretary.

Either way, those letters are important.

[neurofancier-deactivated]

Pro tip: If you really want HR to develop a personal interest in your application, publicly thank them on linkedin. Just make a short post telling your network about how X recruiter really went above and beyond to make you feel welcome, or about how be accommodating and professional they were, or whatever. Make sure to use the mention feature so they’ll get a notification and see it. 

Flattery will get you everywhere… and public flattery that might make its way back to their manager, doubly so.

[oaky-dokey]

Obligatory plug for one of FreePrintable.net’s sites: ThankYouLetter.ws. They have a whole section with interview thank you letter templates, and a page with specific tips for interview thank you letters. (There are also tons of other letter templates if you browse around a bit.)

[the-mistake-maven]

Thank-you email followed by thank-you note is literally how I got my job. I knew I wanted the job and that I was a great candidate, but there are tons of great candidates. So, I decided to send a note in addition to a thank you email. All of them were blown away to receive a physical note from me a few days later, I actually got follow-up emails thanking me for the notes! When I started, someone in HR literally said to me "oh you're the one who sent the cards! That was awesome!" Trust me: if you want the job and you think you have a good shot, sending a physical note puts you over the top.

I know what you're thinking: "but I'll forget to send a note!" Here's my trick: I brought the cards and envelopes, already stamped, and my nicest pen to the job interview, and afterwards I filled them out in the nearest coffee shop while everything was fresh in my mind. They then went straight into the first post box I found, which also meant they probably got there faster than if I'd mailed them from home. Go forth and be polite!

Also: Dear ______: Thank you again so much for the opportunity to sit down to discuss the [insert job position], I appreciate you taking the time. As I mentioned in my email, I think I would be a great fit at [company name], and that I would excel at [something that excited you from the interview]. [option to include a brief anecdotal sentence here.] I look forward to hearing from you, and thanks again! Sincerely,

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

I don't really know how high jump works, but I just saw two athletes who were in a dead-heat after many, many jumps decide to share the gold medal instead of continuing to compete for a tie-breaker, and their shared joy absolutely stole my heart:

[bristolbird]

Both athletes almost had career-ending injuries, Tamberi (ITA) brought his cast as a reminder. When the judge came over to try and explain how to break the tie, Barshim (QAT) goes, "can we have two golds?"

I'm just...

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

ommggggg I didn't know they were both making comebacks from bad injuries on top of everything else! I'm 😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️

Also, not to sound too much like a capitalist, but if these guys aren't immediately given endorsement deals to do a series of commercials in which they're adorably sharing absolutely everything, even [throws dart at list of corporations] the last McNugget, then I will personally flip over a table in the middle of Madison Avenue.

[meriwethergrey-deactivated20241]

They actually have known each other for 11 years! They're very good friends. I love them.

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

AHHHHH I just looked Barshim's Twitter and—

I CANNOT HANDLE THE CUTE

[the-mistake-maven]

It gets better. These two met in competition way back in 2010...and though they are rivals, they became pals.

THEY ARE FRIENDS! 

Tamberi said the moment he won was made even better because he got to share his medal with his friend.

There’s this dumb idea that your competitors are nothing more. Barshim and Tamberi saw that idea, and said “screw that!”

Go them!

[theocseason4]

[hell-aint-a-bad-place]

uh why is this prison a skyscraper?

[disappointingbeige]

Because we live in hell :-)

[maxtualexchange]

This is the most dystopian sci fi shit I’ve ever seen

[the-mistake-maven]

Ok, for the record I think the US prison industrial complex is horrible, I think we should defund the police, and I think this building shouldn’t exist. 

HOWEVER if anyone is interested, I know a lot about this place and the why of it all.

This is the Metropolitan Correctional Center in downtown Chicago. It’s right in the heart of the Loop, Chicago’s very busy downtown. The Loop is full of businesses, schools, hotels, tourist attractions, etc. Basically all around this prison every day are civilians just living their lives. 

So, why is it there? Because the headquarters for federal court and the Department of Justice in Chicago are just one block away, right in the center of busy downtown. 

Some prisoners there have very short sentences, but most of them don’t actually stay there long-term, they are there while they await trial or are on trial, and after sentencing they are sent to a different prison NOT in the middle of a city. The reason some of them are there is that... some people on trial in federal court are Not Great People With Lots and Lots of Resources, so there’s an incentive to hold them somewhere really close by so they can’t bolt en route to the courthouse like The Joker or something. For example, R. Kelly is currently in residence in MCC, but it has also housed drug lords, politicians, money launderers, etc. Really...great people, the best society has to offer.

So, here are all these prisoners very close by the courthouse to minimize flight risk, but there’s other problems they need to solve. Obviously, they don’t want prisoners escaping, especially because if somebody gets out, they’re in a big transportation hub--there are literally 5 train lines within 400 feet of the front door. Problem two is they don’t want to scare the shit out of people living and working nearby. They kind of want to blend in. So how do you blend in in downtown Chicago?

The answer is: make your prison tall, and do something kind of avant-garde architecturally speaking. I know that sounds odd, but remember, this is downtown Chicago, Land of the Skyscraper, and some of the most famous architectural landmarks in the country are mere feet from this place. 

Prisoner housing doesn’t start until 4 or 5 stories up, so nobody’s getting out by breaking their windows and making a run for it. Of course there are signs saying what this building is, but they’re kind of subtle, and the prison yard is on the roof so they don’t need big fences or gates around the entrances. So, if Joe Schmo is just walking by, minding their own business without any clue what this building is, it kind of just looks like a really weird office building. Blending-in more or less achieved.

Of course, once you know it’s a prison you can’t un-know it, and it’s deeply unsettling walking past--for me at least, I avoid it like the plague. But... the problem solver in me finds it kind of fascinating that this building exists.

...In a dystopian nightmare kind of way.

And yes, people do go to dance on the top of the parking lot for the inmates sometimes. Apparently strippers go there too and put on a show. 

Here’s what it looks like during the day BTW: 

[milfsagainstroadhead-deactivate]

Really hate how “mommy and daddy issues” just a jab at the child and not the parent

[tiffanarchyforever]

Oh, so your parent(s) traumatized you when you were vulnerable and defenseless, and they let you down when you were reliant on them for your emotional needs? Lol idiot.

[the-mistake-maven]

Once a “friend” of my mom’s said I had “daddy issues” because I had the gall to compare him to my father. I thought it was so incredibly insulting. Wellll, fast forward 15 years and his kids don’t speak to him.

So...

I guess he isn’t like my dad after all.

[bogleech]

I just saw hundreds of grown adults across two different online groups laughing at this photo, calling the owners of this home dirty, disgusting, lazy, hicks, drunks, questioning why the “trash” is at the bottom of stairs at all, and I’m just incredulous because the following information was self-evident to me before the photo even finished loading:

This is for recycling cans, which are the only thing that would smoothly and safely slide down it.

Nothing here is in disarray, it’s all lined up nicely.

Nothing here is dirty, they’re just naked, brand new building materials for an unfinished basement.

The recycling would be kept at the bottom of the basement stairs because this is a basement with a door to the outside and it is the only convenient path to the curb.

It’s no lazier than wherever anyone else keeps their recycling since it’s usually just a few steps across the kitchen.

This setup is logical, clean, affordable, and even fun for pretty much anyone, but would also be a life saver for old or disabled people.

A whole lot of people are upper class judgmental assholes who I guess have no experience with anything other than sparkling plush manors all polished and prepared for their little baby cheekies to live in

[doctorguilty]

Remember! If an upper class person comes up with something ingenuous, time-saving, labor-saving, or otherwise just fun and practical, it’s a “life hack” or “DIY”

If a lower class person comes up with the very same thing, it’s “trashy” or “lazy”

[the-mistake-maven]

Ok. So this is a bit random. I live in a neighborhood full of kids, and in a normal year Halloween is A Thing. Halloween 2020...people had to get creative to think of safe-but-fun socially distanced trick-or-treating. Somebody had the idea of attaching tubes like this to their front doors or their front steps so kids could stand at the bottom of a chute and get a treat. They weren’t fancy, but they were surprisingly easy to set up and soon the whole block had tubes just like the one above. It was a BIG hit.

So I saw this picture and honest to god my first thought was: “ooh! Candy!”

[vortexsophia-deactivated2022110]

[geekygothgirl]

I don’t know what we did to deserve Mr. Rogers but I’m so glad we had him. 

[the-mistake-maven]

Mr. Rogers would probably say you don’t have to do anything to deserve him or his kindness, to paraphrase his well known song, it’s you he likes. I’m glad he’s remembered now for his profound impact, because when he ended his show a lot of adults perceived it as kind of dated. Now we can see how special it was.

[ray-marisha]

Happy December 10th

[marisatomay]

what really gets me about the argument that “americans are so selfish they can’t even care about others enough to stop the virus” is that we fucking did. the vast majority of americans, at great personal and financial cost to ourselves, went inside and distanced and took precautions and isolated and changed our lives to slow the spread and keep our loved ones and strangers safe. we did that for months, even when the government offered piss poor assistance and unemployment skyrocketed and food bank lines lengthened and the death counts climbed and parents with young children reached a breaking point, we still did it. the polling still shows that the vast majority of americans are more worried about easing restrictions too soon even if it hurts the economy. americans give a shit. we care. we made the sacrifices to give our government the time to figure out and implement a plan — to find a way to keep us safe and as healthy as possible and to use the power of the federal government to protect small businesses and feed our children and put a roof over our heads and create education campaigns to get people to socially distance and wear a mask for fucks sake. we did that, and at the end of months of sacrifice they decided that it wasn’t worth the trouble and have left us at the whims of our governors and local officials, left us at the mercy of our employers, left us to die.

americans aren’t selfish — our minority-rule government is — and it’s left us to die.

[sonneillonv-deactivated20220218]

Also, don’t mistake the minority of stupid and careless Americans for the majority just because they’re yelling really loudly.  Because they prop up the narrative of the minority-rule government, they get more air time and more exposure than the rest of us.  Hundreds of thousands of people are protesting for BLM across America and the news is cutting back coverage, but when these assholes went out protesting for haircuts?  It was EVERYWHERE.

Even if you’re not IN America, please examine the narrative about America you’re being fed.

[prokopetz]

The flip side of “cleanse diets don’t do anything” is that if you tried a cleanse diet and you did experience a notable reduction in fatigue, joint pain, and general blarginess, you need to talk to an allergy specialist, because there’s nearly a 100% chance that means you have an undiagnosed allergy to some component of your customary diet.

[mierac]

THIS

[the-mistake-maven]

I did one of these once and at the end felt the same. This made me so happy, because it meant that I wasn’t suffering from something I didn’t even know I had. I can’t believe people finish these and then get mad that they don’t feel drastically different.

[mysharona1987]

[the-mistake-maven]

This is an excerpt from an interview she did before the release of knives out, and If you haven’t read this interview you absolutely should. It’s fantastic:

https://www.newyorker.com/culture/the-new-yorker-interview/jamie-lee-curtis-has-never-worked-hard-a-day-in-her-life

[askamydaily]

Woman doesn’t want to match ...or mix

By Amy Dickinson

1 April, 2020

Dear Amy: I am an average-attractive single woman who lives in a big city.

I am frequently approached by men of other races that flirt with me and try to get my phone number.

How do I tell them I am not interested without offending them? I stick to my own kind.

— No Thanks

No Thanks: It is fairly easy to say, “No thank you.” But if you truly want to repel these interested men, you could tell them the truth: “No offense, but I’m a racist.”

They should leave you alone after that.

[askamydaily]

Transgender man faces awkward family holiday

By Amy Dickinson

9 January 2020

Dear Amy: I’m a college sophomore. I came out to my parents as a transgender man a few months back. Since I don’t live at home, this hasn’t been much of an issue; but recently when I went home for Thanksgiving, both of my parents introduced me to their friends as their daughter.

I’m a man, and I look like one. There’s always visible confusion on these people’s faces, and for the most part I’ve just let it slide, but it makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

Should I correct my folks in the moment, or simply reintroduce myself later? The Christmas season means I’ll be home again, and that means meeting more people.

– Embarrassed

Dear Embarrassed: Talk to your parents about this. Tell them how you want to be addressed. If you have changed your first name, make sure they understand that it is easier on you and others if they introduce you this way.

You have been living in your body during your transition, but your parents haven’t physically been with you and are still anchored to the person they raised as a daughter.

Just as every transition is different for every individual, loved ones sometimes struggle with the loss they associate with this change. Your folks may worry about you and feel guilty about the pain you might have been feeling, pre-transition. Help them to understand that this is liberating and beautiful for you. Assume that they will adjust to this change, just as you have - in sometimes awkward stages.

Because you have chosen to be home for the holidays, I’m going to assume that your family is flawed, like all families, but loving at its core.

Glaad.org has some helpful information that your folks might use – about how to become an ally to transgendered people. Share these tips (and any other information) with them.

If you face your family relationships with honesty, grace, forgiveness and humor, you might lead the way toward a new way of behaving and relating. This is a big lift for a young person, but you know who you are – and now you can show the world.

If a botched introduction leads to confusion, you can say, “I’m a transgender man. We’re all adjusting. Please, call me ‘Carlo.’ I’m very happy to see you, and Merry Christmas!”

In short, simply be you.

[the-mistake-maven]

This is my mom. I’m so proud that this is my mom. I literally can’t stop crying because this is my mom. Also the art at the top is by the letter writer.

[askmichigan]

Smells like disappointment

[ratfuck]

oh fuck you

[ratfuck]

op has michigan in their url this is propaganda

[nezclaw]

more astronauts are from ohio than anywhere else. coincidence? i think not

[kumboochies]

Imagine being a child in Ohio wanting to go to space just so you can experience something for the first time in your life.

[the-mistake-maven]

Check the sticker; that candle was made in Indiana. The rivalry between Indiana and Ohio is insanely intense and also so pointless. I can say that because I’m from Illinois and can verify this as an objective third-party. Also my husband is from Indiana and he once told me he hates Ohio “out of obligation.”

[askamydaily]

This year, put a “book on every bed!”

18 December, 2019

Dear Readers: This is a special day for me, because this is the day I take a break from hosting your questions to advocate for a cause that is very near and dear to me: literacy.

In my long career as a writer and reader, I have volunteered in classrooms, libraries and prisons, reading with others and sharing the work of writers important in my own life. I do so in honor of my late mother, Jane, who passed along to me her own love of reading and writing — first as a young child on our somewhat isolated dairy farm, and later as adults, when we shared books and letters back and forth, sometimes over great distances. This is a legacy I continue to happily share — through the many books I recommend in this space, and the two memoirs I have written.

What I learned from my mother’s life lesson is that when you have a book, you are never alone. Literacy imparts real power, and this is especially important for people who feel powerless.

The magic of literacy can happen at any time, but it is especially important in childhood. Reading helps a young child’s brain develop and mature. Reading for pleasure is a lifelong gift of entertainment and learning.

Today, in memory of my mother on her birthday, I joyfully share a simple idea that adults can easily adopt – to give the children in their lives the gift my mother gave to me, by putting “a book on every bed.”

Celebrate the giving season

Here’s what to do: On Christmas morning or New Year’s Day (or whatever holiday you celebrate), make sure that each child in your household wakes up to a wrapped book at the foot of their bed. The gift could be a new book or an old favorite from your own childhood.

After the child unwraps the book, the most important aspect of this gift is unveiled, when the parent sits and shares it with the child. The sad fact is that more than a third of families in the United States do not regularly share books with their young children. Starting a celebration morning by reading together will forge an unforgettable intimacy for both the child and the parent.

This year I am partnering with Children’s Reading Connection, a national early literacy initiative founded in my hometown of Ithaca, N.Y. The organization’s advocacy focuses on the importance of helping families to share books with babies and children. Even babies too young to talk tune in, in a deep and abiding way, when they are held and read to.

This is an important prescription for health and success in growing brains — and sharing a book is a wonderful way for families to connect. Every year I hear from teachers, librarians, church groups, parents and grandparents who tell me they have adopted the “book on every bed” tradition in their homes. I can think of no nicer way to kick off a busy Christmas morning than by snuggling up with a book before opening other gifts.

Reading is a beautiful liberation

As a literacy advocate (and huge fan of libraries), I am inspired by the career and legacy of the US Librarian of Congress, Dr. Carla Hayden, who is the first woman and the first African American to hold this august post.

Dr. Hayden emphasizes how important it is for young readers to identify with and be inspired by characters, as she was as a child: “Literacy is the ticket to learning, opportunity and empowerment. It’s important that children see themselves in the books they read. It’s become commonplace to say that books are windows to a world of imagination and creativity, but books should also be a mirror to their readers.

Marguerite de Angeli’s ‘Bright April’ allowed me to see myself in a book – a young girl who was a brownie with pigtails – and it inspired me that anything was possible.”

Closing the literacy gap in childhood starts with having books in households, and with children being read to.

Writer and illustrator Peter Reynolds says, “Picture books are wisdom dipped in art and words.” His book, “The Word Collector” (2018, Orchard Books), is a great read-along book for an early reader. The book’s engaging and lively young hero, Jerome, finds and collects words everywhere he goes.

Spread and share literacy in your own way

Parents and caregivers can put a book on every bed in their own households; you can also help to spread the cause of literacy by generously sharing this idea in your own community. For families who celebrate through service projects, I suggest adopting a local classroom or day-care center and providing a book for each child.

To learn more, and to share your own literacy story, go to childrensreadingconnection.org or my own Facebook page: facebook.com/ADickinsonDaily.

[misstanwyck]

[annetdonahue]

The importance of consent: a narrative.

[maxontrax]

I will forever reblog this gifset.

[forsciencejohn]

look at how badass she is though i mean some of it gets on her too and doesn’t even give a fuck

[yamumsahamster]

She pours hot liquid on her own leg she’s that badass.

[avatargrimes]

fire cannot kill a dragon.

[chewbacca]

Matilda (1996), dir. Danny DeVito

[ginger-vevo]

hold up Danny DeVito directed the most influential film of my childhood?

[revenant666]

Not only directed it but starred in it, took care of Mara Wilson (Matilda) while her mother was in hospital with cancer and even managed to get an advanced copy of the movie for her to watch before she succumbed to her illness. The man is a treasure.

[the-mistake-maven]

He also got the entire crew to dance along with Mara Wilson while filming the “little bitty pretty one” scene because she was self-conscious.

[gahdamnpunk]

When you thought men been hit rock bottom but they prove you wrong

me @ the Thai ladies

[udjejenendndn-deactivated202004]

Not only men didnt do anything but they also tried to pull women away and save the fucker.

[kittiesatemypronouns]

And checked on him afterward.

[manboy-yuck-sideblog]

Obviously, fucking disgusting pigs they always support each other especially when they’re against women. Men are trash.

[cecaeliawitch]

the real bro code - protect other men against the consequences of their actions against women

[destructrice-deactivated2024120]

It has nothing to do with these women on the video but the discussion here reminded me of a situation when I was at a club a few years back… a girl was completely passed out on a corner and a guy approached her and started touching her breasts and pulling up her skirt. I was with some male friends and I asked them to go there with me to help her and all of them said no (“not my business” “but it looks like they’re having fun” “I don’t want any problems”). I asked a random girl that was just dancing nearby to go there with me and she just agreed without any objections. The guy freaked out when we verbally confronted him and took off, we found the girl’s friends eventually, everything ended well. But it was terribly disappointing that my male friends, those that call themselves feminist-allies and communists couldn’t care less about a woman being raped and wouldn’t do anything to stop it even when they were called to action.

[yealukehemmings]

And this is why Gillette released that ad