The Comfiest Werewolf

I’m too lazy for sideblogs so this page is a mess. | Trans, He/Him/His. | Send me asks.

[aellagirl]

how to make smores

I was going through old home videos I made a few years ago when i was bored and alone. 

[kaible-deactivated20181205]

for anyone who has ever wondered what girls do in their spare time: this is what girls do in their spare time.

[theriu]

I will NEVER STOP LOVING THIS

[aellagirl]

I thought I would get sick of this video but I’ve watched it probably easily 80 times by now, not including the editing process, and it still gets me

[wilwheaton]

Goddamn this is funny.

[shinetroll]

This video is a work of art, a masterpiece.

[acedlatte]

@konora

[autobotstormshadow]

If I do not reblog this, assume I am dead.

[mapelie]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[teddy-the-queer-wizard]

@spared-sans idk why this reminds me of you

[radioactivepeasant]

I once tried to verbally describe this video when I couldn’t find it. Didn’t go so well. Delighted to see it again!

[pugcrumbs]

I’m open for some pet portraits, folks. Contact me at [email protected] if you’re interested. I included some samples above of things other than dogs/cats - I’m very versatile, so if you have an iguana, by all means.

Oh, and boost if you can! It would be very much appreciated! Thanks!

[pugcrumbs]

Yes: These are still open! Yes: I will only charge you $25 if you have a solid-color cat (black, white, etc.)

[pugcrumbs]

Hey all! These are still open!

New ETAs are being schedule for October! Email me if you want one!

[pugcrumbs]

October docket is open :) (Also, 2+ pets in the same portrait is a $70 charge. I can do it! Just let me know that’s what you want!)

[pugcrumbs]

October docket is still open! I’ve got about three unscheduled weeks next month so hmu if you want a pet portrait by the end of October!

[feministism]

[mynoregon]

How can I reblog this a million times?  The 1% are master manipulators.

[manchurian-candycane]

The existence of another poor person is not why you’re poor.

[swordmlm]

jonathan van ness is braver than the us marines

[30-minute-memes]

[littledeludeddupes]

those snakes are not fighting they are fucking. im very sorry

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

while two snakes FUCK to the death

[eruditionanimaladoration]

That dog looking at the snakes like why you gotta do that while I’m eating

[gelana78]

Metal as snakes fucking.

[thedurvin]

[mechinaries]

beard bros

[dapenguinninja]

Peter Parker: 

[bearimy-dot]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Hiatus Creations:

week five → captain raymond holt

“C’mon, sir. The math thing isn’t the problem. Night shift’s keeping you and Kevin apart. You two just need to bone.”— s04.ep08 | Skyfire Cycle

[make--it--gayer]

[veztemporana-deactivated2019061]

bonus:

[scumbagsblog]

I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier

[tredlocity]

I love how deceptively legit and professional the thumbnails for Griffin’s amiibo Corner are.

Nobody could ever expect the content they are about to receive from these videos.

[fsidnfso-deactivated20190103]

what is this

[voca-lee]

how dare you not actually include a link to the video. I went out of my way to find this and oh my geezum it does not disappoint.

[megatraven]

what the fuck

[snozzbear]

@deathcabforsexy

[acerotiburon]

Sing me the song of your people SOUP! meow! Sing me the song of your friends SOUP! meow! Sing me a song for the good times SOUP! meow! Sing me a song, a song. HEY SOUP! meeeeoooow!

[pixelateddaisies-deactivated202]

Is…is this cat’s name soup?

[acerotiburon]

His full name is “Soupy Bonjour”.

We call him “Soup” for short.

[icacus]

The box says free loader

[navyasarchive-deactivated201905]

I feel so bad for Millie Bobby Brown. She’s been sexualized since the minute she entered the industry and gained fame through “Stranger Things” (notice how her male cast mates are allowed to retain their youthful and goofy personalities, whereas she’s forced into wearing makeup and clothes that give off a “mature vibe”) and now she’s being groomed, in real time, by a 31 year old man (who also has an 18 year old girlfriend), and no one is doing or saying anything about it. This is why feminists always say that the sexualization of female celebrities begins young and why it’s connected to them facing sexual violence from men within the industry, and why those men later get away with it. 

I am more and more convinced that children and teenagers just shouldn’t be in the industry, for their own protection. Especially young girls. 

[navyasarchive-deactivated201905]

By the way, Beyoncé had been groomed by Jay Z since she was 15. So this happened to Beyoncé as well (and no one said anything about it), and it’s happening to Millie now, and probably to countless other teenage girls in the industry. 

[lexhokage]

Natalie Portman, following Leon: The Professional

[thatfictionalgal]

Glad someone brought up Natalie Portman up because after Leon, there was some seriously fucked up shit. People were sending rape fantasy letters, a radio station was counting down to her 18th birthday (aka she’s legal to bang and “not be weird”), and sexualized her body as she went through puberty. She talks about it here:

Natalie Portman opens up about experiencing "sexual terrorism" after starring in 'Leon' at 13 - NME

Natalie Portman has spoken out about being sexualised early in her career, saying that she experienced "sexual terrorism" from the age of 13

She was 13 years old. 13! We shouldn’t even pretend nothing like that is happening to child stars now

[floambones]

every year after you turn 17 you get further away from being the age of the dancing queen and that’s my least favorite thing about growing up

[saint--claire]

exCUSE ME.  DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE FACE OF A WOMAN WHO’S CONCERNED ABOUT BEING TOO OLD TO BE THE DANCING QUEEN??

Fuck your age, put on your high heeled boots and a pair of overalls and do Meryl Streep proud.

You are the dancing queen.

[kyraneko]

Hot take: Seventeen is the age at which you get crowned the Dancing Queen.

Being older than that isn’t years away from being the Dancing Queen, it’s how many years your reign has lasted.

[copperbadge]

Additionally, the song refers to her as “only seventeen”, implying that she is unusually young to be a Dancing Queen. This seems to indicate that you can be crowned Dancing Queen at any point later in life, though traditionally it probably begins in one’s 20s. 

[tricodeku-deactivated20220207]

People who make female versions of beefy af male characters but make them skinny without any muscle:

[verylostpenguin]

It’s my grandpa’s birthday next week and he said “I don’t want to be 85” and my grandmother, his wife of 59 and a half years, said “well your only alternative is to die”, I can’t believe how affectionate they are

[verylostpenguin]

I was having lunch with them today and my grandpa started throwing napkins at my grandmother, and she balled it up and looked all set to throw it back but then she put it down and said “I will not throw it because I was brought up properly, you were dragged” she has spent ¾ of her life with this man

[bax16]

he’s still bein dragged

[fuck-kirk]

My brother to his boyfriend: where are you going?

Boyfriend: well, I’M going SHOPPING. I’m gonna go buy MYSELF something for my birthday since YOU didn’t.

Brother: I told you, I got you a gift but it won’t be ready till Friday

Boyfriend : mhm, okay, sure

Me, knowing full well my brother got him an engagement ring and it’s getting sized and will be ready on Friday:

[fuck-kirk]

To answer all your burning questions……he said yes!!

[call-me-hopelesss-deactivated20]

HE SAID YES!!!!!

[sunflowerwemadeit]

HE SAID YES!!!

[thisisnotactiveanymrorelmaoo]

HE sAID YES

[penny-anna]

Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

[penny-anna]

~*~earlier~*~

Legolas: ugh fucking hobbits

Merry: Frodo what’d he say

Frodo: I’m not sure he speaks a weird dialect but I think he’s insulting us. I should tell him I can understand Elvish

Merry: I mean you could do that but consider

Merry: you can only tell him ONCE

Frodo: Merry. You’re absolutely right. I’ll wait.

[penny-anna]

#legolas’ hick accent vs #frodo’s ‘i learned it out of a book’ accent #FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Legolas: umm well your accent is horrible

Aragorn: *hollering from a distance* HIS ACCENT IS BETTER THAN YOURS LEGOLAS YOU SILVAN HICK

Frodo: :)

[storywonker]

Frodo: Hello. My name is Frodo. I am a Hobbit. How are you?

Legolas: y’alld’ve’ff’ve

Frodo, crying: please I can’t understand what you’r saying

[ramshacklefey]

Ok, but Frodo didn’t just learn out of a book. He learned like… Chaucerian Elvish. So actually:

Frodo: Good morrow to thee, frend. I hope we twain shalle bee moste excellente companions.

Legolas: Wots that mate? ‘Ere, you avin’ a giggle? Fookin’ ‘obbits, I sware.

Aragorn: *laughing too hard to walk*

[reformedkingsmanagent]

@ghostriderofthearagon

[cryptidscrypticcrosswordclub]

dYinGggGggg…

[whetstonefires]

i mean, honestly it’s amazing the Elves had as many languages and dialects as they did, considering Galadriel (for example) is over seven thousand years old.

english would probably have changed less since Chaucer’s time, if a lot of our cultural leaders from the thirteenth century were still alive and running things.

they’ve had like. seven generations since the sun happened, max. frodo’s books are old to him, but outside any very old poetry copied down exactly, the dialect represented in them isn’t likely to be older than the Second Age, wherein Aragorn’s foster-father Elrond started out as a very young adult and grew into himself, and Legolas’ father was born.

so like, three to six thousand years old, maybe, which is probably a drop in the bucket of Elvish history judging by all the ethnic differentiation that had time to develop before Ungoliant came along, even if we can’t really tell because there weren’t years to count, before the Trees were destroyed.

plus a lot of Bilbo’s materials were probably directly from Elrond, whose library dates largely from the Third Age, probably, because he didn’t establish Imladris until after the Last Alliance. and Elrond isn’t the type to intentionally help Bilbo learn the wrong dialect and sound sillier than can be helped, even if everyone was humoring him more than a little.

so Frodo might sound hilariously formal for conversational use (though considering how most Elves use Westron he’s probably safe there) and kind of old-fashioned, but he’s not in any danger of being incomprehensible, because elves live on such a ridiculous timescale.

[whetstonefires]

to over-analyse this awesome and hilarious post even more, legolas’ grandfather was from linguistically stubborn Doriath and their family is actually from a somewhat different, higher-status ethnic background than their subjects.

so depending on how much of a role Thranduil took in his upbringing (and Oropher in his), Legolas may have some weird stilted old-fashioned speaking tics in his Sindarin that reflect a more purely Doriathrin dialect rather than the Doriathrin-influenced Western Sindarin that became the most widely spoken Sindarin long before he was born, or he might have a School Voice from having been taught how to Speak Proper and then lapse into really obscure colloquial Avari dialect when he’s being casual. or both!

considering legolas’ moderately complicated political position, i expect he can code-switch.

…it’s also fairly likely considering the linguistic politics involved that Legolas is reasonably articulate in Sindarin, though with some level of accent, but knows approximately zero Quenya outside of loanwords into Sindarin, and even those he mostly didn’t learn as a kid.

which would be extra hilarious when he and gimli fetch up in Valinor in his little homemade skiff, if the first elves he meets have never been to Middle Earth and they’re just standing there on the beach reduced to miming about what is the short beard person, and who are you, and why.

this is elvish dialects and tolkien, okay. there’s a lot of canon material! he actually initially developed the history of middle-earth specifically to ground the linguistic development of the various Elvish languages!

[bowditch]

Legolas: Alas, verily would I have dispatched thine enemy posthaste, but y’all’d’ve pitched a feckin’ fit.

Aragorn: *eyelid twitching*

[linguisticparadox]

Frodo: *frantically scribbling* Hang on which language are you even speaking right now

Pippin, confused: Is he not speaking Elvish?

Frodo, sarcastically: I dunno, are you speaking Hobbit?

Boromir, who has been lowkey pissed-off at the Hobbits’ weird dialect this whole time: That’s what it sounds like to me.

Merry, who actually knows some shit about Hobbit background: We are actually speaking multiple variants of the Shire dialect of Westron, you ignorant fuck.

Sam, a mere working-class country boy: Honestly y'all could be talkin Dwarvish half the time for all I know.

[sainamoonshine]

Pippin, entering Gondor and speaking to the castle steward: hey yo my man

Boromir, from beyond the grave: j e s u s

[esser-z]

Tolkien would be SO PROUD of this post

[sunny-dayze]

@words-writ-in-starlight

[ceescedasticity]

…You know, dwarves (obviously) don’t have any problem learning other people’s languages. They kinda have to, since they don’t share their own. And they presumably deliberately teach and pass on other people’s languages.

…And historically speaking, they get along better with Noldor than they do with Sindar.

Now, Gimli grew up in exile/as a refugee, so I’m sure lessons in very rare languages you’ll probably never need weren’t heavily featured in his studies. But especially later on in Erebor, it’s not impossible that the library might have an old copy of “Conversational Quenya for Merchants” lying around, and it’s not impossible Gimli might have picked it up – or even have deliberately picked it up later, after the war, so

It’s not completely implausible that upon arriving in Valinor, Gimli would have to try to translate.

[foulserpent]

getting mad that poorer children come to your wealthy neighborhood on halloween to get nicer candy and trick or treat safely has got to be like in the top 10 rich people arent human funny moments