The Crow Beast Got Internet Access

I draw and may make some shitposts from time to time.

[equalistmako]

every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt

[damianmcgintleman]

he stole christmas, kayla! stop with your #notallgrinches propaganda!

[equalistmako]

you know what if someone told me i was a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce i’d probably be bitter enough to steal christmas too 

[prokopetz]

Interestingly, though The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is narrated by Boris Karloff, the big musical number is sung by the late Thurl Ravenscroft - an American voice actor better known as the voice of Tony the Tiger.

My headcanon is that the Grinch and Tony the Tiger had a bad breakup, and “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” is the resulting breakup song.

[snickerslizard]

Did this really HAVE to be the first thing I see when I opened up Tumblr?

[prokopetz]

Yes.

[iguanamouth]

[star-spangled-jackass]

oh god theres art

[tediousfeline]

@altadude you know what must be done.

[altadude-deactivated20190418]

[lesbopsappho]

ive been avoiding reblogging this honestly but just. What the fuck. What the fuck tumblr

[magickspills]

I apologize to all my followers for this

[watfordwallflower]

if i had to read this you do too

[quinintheclouds]

I have a hate-hate relationship with this

[theepitomeofamess]

………

[anony-phangirl]

Good grief… I’m sorry, but I can’t not reblog this…

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

Tis the season bitches

[theresneverenoughfandoms]

DAMN IT WHY WOULD YOU BRING THIS BACK YOU HEATHEN

[logan-exe]

Why is this on my dash?

[princeanxious]

…..I’m.. Bothered? by the fact that I’m not bothered by this.

[randomslasher]

You’re not bothered?? I’m not only not bothered, I’m freaking invested. I’m having actual empathetic sadness for The Grinch. I want them to go into couple’s counseling. I want the “ten years later” when Tony visits Whoville on business and meets the reformed Grinch whose heart has grown 3 times its usual size. I want them to reminisce over a shared dinner of roast beast and wine, then spend a drunken night together, then realize that maybe things are different and people really do change. I want a 3-act story where there’s a long dark night of soul searching and the realization that maybe we’ve all got a little bit of bad banana with greasy black peel inside us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a damned fine banana bread if someone will give us a chance. 

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[k-asino]

FUCK THIS TUSIGIFKFMFKEKEHHWJEHWJW I DIDNT MISS THIS

[bukatra]

Theres an actual AO3 fanfiction of this. And… its damn good writing.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

aw shucks!

[thecrowbeast]

If I had to read this, SO DO YOU!

[thecrowbeast]

TIL that mortals don't have conversations with themselves in public using two separate bodies.

[thecrowbeast]

I now identify as genderfluid until further notice.

Pog.

[thecrowbeast]

I came out to my parents earlier. They were accepting and even asked if I wanted to go by a more gender-neutral name. I am now known as Harpie on and off the internt.

[thecrowbeast]

Pov.

I sat at the table in the corner with my party, taking a sip of my ale. My party and I would come to this same tavern every five years to catch up and share stories of our travels. This tavern felt like a home I was never able to have. My metal chest plate glistened in the dimly lit tavern. The music of the tavern was comforting, and the crackle of the fire even more so.

In the corner of my eye, I noticed a sort of alchemist-looking human fellow eyeing me up. I must admit he was handsome for an alchemist. I turned and winked at him before going back to talking with my party and telling stories of my adventures from after we had last met. My tabaxi friend spoke of the time he was tricked by this old wizard into turning himself in for all his thieving. Our table erupted in a course of laughter at the thought of our cunning thief being tricked into doing something so easy to notice. The tabaxi was not amused.

A tap on my shoulder startled me. I looked to see it was that same alchemist-looking fellow. He gave me a soft greeting. I chuckled at how timid he seemed to be and generously offered him a seat at our table. He accepted and sat down.

The alchemist even joined our little party of four that evening. It was surprising that not even the half-orc seemed to mind the addition of the human to our table.

He said he was an alchemist in training looking for someone to help him learn alchemy. Though none of us knew how to do alchemy, I told him I would find him an alchemist in Haven he could get an apprenticeship from.

The laughter of our table filled the air evening. I don't think I've laughed so hard in all my travels. That evening was the most entertaining one I've had at Eagle's Tavern. The jokes he told were wonderful and his sense of humor was witty. He didn't have many stories of his adventures, but he was wonderful company. Our tiefling ranger had many questions for the fellow, but that was just in her nature to question everything.

Gee, that evening was fun.

[thecrowbeast]

I now identify as genderfluid until further notice.

Pog.

[thecrowbeast]

Another fine day ruined by responsibility

[thecrowbeast]

My mom: You're defiantly not trans.

Me who identifies as genderfluid: Yesn't

None of my parents are homophobic nor transphobic. I just thought this comment from my biological mom was hilariously timed as she said it around the time I was figuring this stuff out.

[thecrowbeast]

Leave it to my ADHD brain to play the first four lines of the Sofia the First opening theme on repeat at 11pm.

[thecrowbeast]

Having trauma sucks monkey nuts.

[thecrowbeast]

People with anxiety don't have a train of thought. We have 7 trains on 4 tracks narrowly avoiding each other when paths cross.

And all the conductors are screaming.

[thecrowbeast]

Thought I might as well post some drawings of dragons I did.

The bottom picture’s quality is SO bad like how did it get that blurry-

[thecrowbeast]

MORE DOODLES! :D

[thecrowbeast]

This was an old vent drawing I did when I was on the verge of a panic attack.

[thecrowbeast]

dis kobold is so cute ngl

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Chess is fucking boring, we should add new pieces

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

and I have suggestions!!!

Knight w/ Machine Gun. Can kill anything within a 3 square radius (no more of that 2-forward-1-to-the-side nosense)

Archer. normal rook but with a bow & a single arrow, can kill any one piece in its line of sight

Double Agent. one of your opponent's pieces has been turned; it will do your biding when the time comes

Landmine. You get to choose one square that blows up if your opponent lands on it

Nuclear Apocalypse. avoid certain defeat by just flipping over the entire fucking chessboard. just make it rain stupid fucking little wooden castles & horses & shit. tear the board in half with your teeth idgaf

[totesmgoats01-published-author]

this is just video games. what you are describing is several video games that already exist.

[thecrowbeast]

Who cares if video games like what Gaud has described already exist. This will be a chess game of epic proportions!!

[thecrowbeast]

small doodle

[thecrowbeast]

Drew this awhile ago thought I might as well post it here.