An Irish New Year

22, Irish, general disaster

[miggylol]

[dontbeanassbutt]

the way this is written makes it read that the Church made destiel a saint

[sophism]

legit

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

golf sucks but mini golf is fucking awesome....truly one of life's great paradoxes

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

golf:

wastes crazy amounts of space and water

soul-crushingly boring

extremely frustrating to all but the highest level of players (most golfers will never even shoot par)

prohibitively expensive (golf clubs are very costly and one round of golf can cost $100+)

mini golf:

18 holes will fit into an area the size of a small park; most courses use astroturf, which doesn't even require water

a fun game of skill to challenge your friends to

easy to get into, but difficult to master

cheap (you and your friends can probably play for like, $20)

BONUS: cool obstacles and gimmicks (windmills, water features, secret holes, etc.)

[mysharona1987]

[great-tweets]

[teasugarsalt]

The blue eyes mark this crow as young, not a full adult.

You’ve been pranked by a teen hooligan.

[animefacialrecognitionsoftware01]

You’ve been pranked by,

You’ve been sticked by,

A teen hooligan

[dankmemeuniversity]

[fluffygif]

He’s so talented.

[thanager]

[telltaletypist]

a wretched, irredeemable people. absolute scum of the earth (canadians)

[papasmoke]

This is said in voiceover followed by a panning shot of a crowded tim hortons with close ups on all their disgusting faces like the orcs in lord of the rings

[briscal]

[anneuhken-deactivated20200828]

my kid has started to write stories and like, no lies, they’re funny as fuck

[anneuhken-deactivated20200828]

actual dialogue:

“to your battle stations, boys! it’s time to line up and see who’s tall enough for the roller coaster to hell!! some of us may not survive this, but the ones that do will get the ultimate reward.... paid.”

[anneuhken-deactivated20200828]

“here’s a penny for your thoughts, and a quarter to not tell me them”

B A B E

[anneuhken-deactivated20200828]

“everyone knows those quiet girls. the ones who never say anything at school unless a teacher makes them. the ones who you see every day but don’t know what they sound like when they laugh. lindsey is not one of those girls, but the teacher wishes she was.”

[anneuhken-deactivated20200828]

“lindsey was always loud, especially when she was being kind. she didn’t smile at people to make them happier, she screamed all the reasons they shouldn’t be sad. it was hard not to listen.”

i can’t wait to read this book tbh

[anneuhken-deactivated20200828]

thanks for all the love!!

the story is part one in a series she’s gonna write called “the 23 islands” and it’s about a planet with 23 island like lands that have like..... nothing around them?? an unknown drop and total darkness surrounding them, and each island is like a different thing?? idk how to explain it but one island is like an ancient rainforest and one is snowy mountains and one is like still in the middle ages but another has flying cars??? and it’s about a group of friends trying to find a way off their island because it’s dangerous there, and hopefully to a more habitable one??? i guess they don’t find it tho because each book is a different island

[cipheramnesia]

These are all amazing.

[jackdonaghy]

[cwote]

:))

[pardonmewhileipanic]

thank you person who made me feel pretty good just now

[mens-rights-activia]

[catchymemes]

[mentalisttraceur-humor]

[mentalisttraceur-humor]

[kata4a]

this is an extremely good joke format

[god-of-chainsaws]

I wish I knew how to play chess

[grand-arbiter-dovin-baan]

[dameednaeverage]

“team of people and there’s one girl” is literally the worst trope and I’m Tired of it

[tumblunni]

its so weird because its always like “we need one of each personality trope” and then “this one’s personality is girl”

[mjalti]

do u think that angels having sex with humans was seen as like beastiality in angel-world

[humancoffeegrounds]

do you think that when you reach the gates of heaven they’ll show you this post 

[mjalti]

bold of you to presume I can die

[crystalquintessential]

Pretty sure they actually answer this in the bible and the answer is yes. The whole ‘Lucifer and the lesser angels want have free will’ part has the ‘angels also wanting to be gendered so they can be with humans’ part in it.

[aviculor]

god was kinkshaming satan

[dont-at-m3]

God got a virgin pregnant without consent, he can mind his business

[seaflying-fliptuna]

She did consent tho, like, that’s a whole thing, I’ve been in masses where the main focus was Mary’s Yes. It didn’t happen without warning, an angel was literally like “hey my pal up there is thinking u should birth his humansona” and she was like “that’d be an honor”

[mjalti]

I didn’t claw my way out of hell just to be sent back there by reading the word Humansona,

[argumate]

what happens when two dramatic bitches like Geralt and Aragorn visit the same tavern on the same night and there’s only one corner table for them to brood at in a solitary fashion, would they take turns or share a booth while simply refusing to acknowledge each other’s existence

[callmebliss]

And there was only one corner table...!

[chocolate-milk-guy]

oh my god there was only one corner table...

[powerfulwizard]

Still angry that some fascist got credited for my beautiful creation. This was not meant to be anti-feminist commentary. I meant this unironically.

[powerfulwizard]

Men will take credit for women’s achievements, even if that achievement is making a viral meme about how we should kill men,

[uuchiha]

[swan2swan]

I can’t believe a humble security guard saved our planet from the aliens.