𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕠𝕞 𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙

• this blog's theme is whatever fandom I'm in at the moment and random things I find funny, interesting or cute • queer disaster • she/they • 26 • Lyly •

[tainbocuailnge]

the original got flagged with no way to appeal it when every contributor is deactivated but I will never let this post die. it's monday and we are getting on it cunts

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[fr3sh-c0rn-2]

the thing with the whole "last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid" bit dean said is that while its just a cheap gay joke, it lands so horrifically bad in scene that it just sounds like hes propositioning cas very poorly. dean fumbled so hard he became the gay joke

[anxident]

oh to be a whimsical starry horse art print ♥

[theycallmebrick]

*tsk* Gotta hate it when you chip a nail.

[windyvalleyzone]

Yall are cowards for deleting this caption.

[adderall-juice]

me when they call my name at mcdonals (i am approaching the counter)

[blogspede]

here you go sir

[adderall-juice]

thank you

[thegeekcompanion]

Just watched wicked in the theater and Argentina lost LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

[iamthemaestro]

found this at an antique shop the other day and was immediately like oh this belongs on tumblr. sniles sneetly. fwowns fwangry.

[dreamyvixen]

(x)

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[fellator]

doesn't it piss you off that you have to find something to eat every single day. every one of them. just every day. you gotta eat something

[nickelodeonhistory]

1998 nickelodeon trade ad

[charbarthe2nd-deactivated202005]

It’s amazing how they could make an ad from 1998 that looks like a shitpost made a week ago.

[trans-trendy-deactivated2022121]

Here’s a template

[trans-trendy-deactivated2022121]

[9differenttypesofcrazy]

Here’s mine

[naamahdarling]

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

[scp-threats-is-back]

It was bound to happen.

[zxid]

collection

[fishlung8877]

[happyheidi]

🦔

This is Charles. He wants to go on a journey around tumblr. could you show him around?

[batmanshole]

crisp glass of water moodboard

[playwrongs]

Stephen King’s Fujo

[kungfunurse]

yeah @sunderwight these tags are gold

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

No matter how shitty it might feel in the moment, most of the time when someone comes to you to communicate a boundary or a need or a negative feeling about something you did, it is actually a compliment. They are telling you BECAUSE they care about you and want it to work between you and because they trust you to care to do better. If they didn't care about you, they'd just avoid you. That uncomfortable convo is in fact a declaration of love and trust. Or at least intention of friendship. If they didn't like you, they'd just try to avoid you whenever possible. They wouldn't care to have The Talk (which is often scary and uncomfortable for them also). So try to treat their trust with care, even if it really upsets you to learn that you've accidentally hurt them