Yet another new study debunked the basis for the anti-trans sports bans. It was never about sports but for creating legal avenues for exclusion and abjection. This is one of the largest analyses ever conducted, involving 52 studies and 6,485 trans people. Read the study here.
Hudson: “What’s always been something that’s frustrated me, not even with like other men, but also just there’s a lot of taboos around exploring physical intimacy with people you admire and love without people, especially in Western culture, being like, ‘Oh, they’re fucking, they’re doing this.’ I just was always frustrated by these kinds of notions. Especially with Connor, who I love dearly, it was something I was always kind of adamant that no matter what people think or want to infer, I’m always going to just physically express my love. I feel like if you’re still biased or jaded or uncomfortable with expressing physical love for people in 2025, you got to f*ing, just, you know, get over yourself.”
The thing is that Ilya has no fucking clue what autism is. He probably read the word when some twitter user called Shane autistic and wanted to look it up but got distracted by a post about Shane's tits or smth.
What he does know though is that Shane folds his clothes before sex. And he smiles at him with adoration when he does it and doesn't rush him or make fun of him for it. He knows Shane doesn't always pick up on his jokes and sarcasm "That's French, Ilya" but he doesn't mind it and would never make Shane feel bad about it or dismiss his response "Yeah I know, Shane". He knows Shane has a PhD in The Arts of Overthinking "Now the bed's all dirty" so he playfully chases his worries away and closes all those open tabs in Shane's brain "What? Shut up". He knows Shane will not rest until he has everything in his life under control so he grumbles when Shane wakes him up in the middle of the night to tell him how they can make it all work but still listens intently to his plan. He knows Shane feels overwhelmed and anxious when stuff doesn't go down as planned "This is my actual fucking nightmare, Ilya" "I'm okay I'm just freaking out I'll be okay in a second" so he softly comforts him and supports him through it "Then maybe it's time to wake up, yes?" "We're good here, your family's here, you're boyfriend's here, we're good here, ok?" He knows Shane has to hear it to believe it "My boyfriend?" so he gently goes "I mean yes, I think so, probably".
He doesn't know Shane is autistic but he knows Shane and he loves Shane and Shane happens to be autistic
"Yeah, I've seen a lot of just me next to Snoopy. I don't know if Snoopy comes first or me but I'll do something and then they'll show Snoopy doing that exact thing. I'm like did you create that or am I just Snoopy. I love Snoopy."
Shane’s comfort is his home and his family. When he wants to open up to Ilya, he asks him about his parents and about Russia. Which only causes Ilya to shut down.
Ilya has always understood his sexuality and is comfortable with that part of himself. In episode 4, Ilya kept trying to talk to Shane about sex and sexuality. Shane’s sexuality is still something he’s suppressing and doesn’t want to reckon with right now.
The reason Shane and Ilya have such a hard time communicating is that their safe space is the other person’s trigger.
One of the core parts of Ilya’s identity is that he knows he’s hot, he knows he’s sexually desirable and he’s incredibly sexually literate.
What holds him back is he doesn’t believe he’s desirable romantically. He especially doesn’t believe that he deserves Shane. That insecurity and that low self worth given to him by his family, the one group of people who are supposed to love him unconditionally, is what drives their miscommunication.
He’s staring himself down in the mirror, disgusted with himself for needing Shane so much. Of course Shane doesn’t want him outside of sex. That’s all he’s good for. Of course Shane found a nice, sensible, beautiful woman.
Shane is a ‘good boy’. He’s going to settle down and get married and do all the things a professional hockey player should be doing.
Ilya is so deeply hurt and embarrassed that he thought for even a second he could be something more for Shane. Embarrassed that he wanted that.
He opened himself up for the first time in his adult life and got a knife through the heart- because of course he did. That’s what always happened when he was a kid. When he played a game and expected his father to be proud of him, only to be dismissed and belittled at every turn.
His brother calling him a ‘whiny faggot’ for expressing even the most surface level emotions.
Little confused why so many viewers seem determined to make either Shane or Ilya the villain of the story. It's a love story. They love each other. The villain is homophobia and toxic masculinity.
kinda love this dynamic where ilya's like i get to have sex with anyone i want anytime i want and i also get to tell you about it while you visibly try to repress your feelings. but the second i think you might be having sex with someone else i am going to absolutely fucking spiral. epic crash out. because when I have sex it is empty and meaningless and utterly devoid of real emotional intimacy but you are a rule-following little dweeb who would still be a virgin if i hadn't deflowered you when we were like 18 so i fucking KNOW it means something to you!!!!!! the hypocrisy is delicious
im getting really fucking sick of all this “it gets better!” bullshit. im going to have depression for the rest of my life. it’s not going to “””get better””” fuck you
After years of living in the adulting world, I think I’ve come to a realization: Manners exist to guide you to good conduct even when you’re in a bad mood.
When you’re happy, when you’re feeling generous, when you’re pleased with your gift or your service or your outcome, it’s easy to be nice. It’s easy to tip the waiter well when you’ve had a good day. It’s easy to thank the teller or the clerk when you got what you wanted out of the transaction. It’s easy to smile and chit-chat with strangers on the road when you’re in a good mood.
It’s hard to tip the waiter when you didn’t enjoy your food. It’s hard to thank the clerk for their time when you’ve just been told there’s a problem with their account and they weren’t able to fix it for you. It’s hard to think of something nice to say when your aunt gave you a crappy sweater you neither need nor want. It’s hard to be nice to people when you’ve had a shitty day. It’s HARD.
That’s what manners are for. Scripts and phrases that you learn by rote to say when you can’t think of a single nice or good thing to say from your own volition. Yes, they’re scripted. Yes, the sentiment is empty. But the scripts work in every situation, and the emptiness provides a buffer between your own unhappiness and the rest of society.
Because most of the time, it’s not the waiter’s fault that the food you ordered wasn’t what you expected. It’s not the clerk’s fault that your account is overdrawn. It’s not the fault of the barista or the stranger on the subway that you got fired today or your favorite aunt died. But even when you can’t summon a smile or a cheery word, you can still have manners, because they will serve you the same in sunshine or rain.
💔🇵🇸 My Daughter Was Born Under Bombs — I'm Just Trying to Keep Her Alive
My name is Abdulmajid.
I got married one month before the war.
Those were beautiful days — full of hope, love, and simple dreams.
I dreamed of a small home, a quiet family, and a baby girl I could hold without fear.
But the war came…
Suddenly. Brutally.
My mother was killed.
My brother was killed.
Children in my family were taken by the bombs.
My home was destroyed.
And my work stopped completely.
Then… in the middle of this nightmare, my baby girl was born.
A tiny soul, innocent, unaware of the war.
She cries from hunger, from cold, from the sounds of bombs shaking what’s left of our walls.
Today, I’m a father with almost nothing…
Fighting every day to find flour, milk, or even a small meal to feed my child.
Prices are sky-high — a single 25kg bag of flour can cost $800.
There is no work. No income. No safety. No stability.
I write this from under siege, hoping my heart will reach yours.
My name is Abedmajed Elderawi, and I live in Gaza with what remains of my once large and loving family.
Even $1 can make a difference.
It can feed a child, buy milk, or bring a moment of peace.
Be the heart that reaches Gaza. Be the hand that saves.
📌 Please share this post. Let our voices be heard — not buried under rubble.
Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #537 )✅️
this is the bad place @thegirlwhohasnochill - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag