emotional creature

Izzy / 24 / she/her / may queen / the people's jester / aware of the narrative

[thegremlingirl]

i've never had a failed lesbian situationship, so i have to sing "the subway" to my cats...

[thegremlingirl]

Hey, just wanted to ask that you’re ok. You haven’t updated in a while, and I’ve been a little worried. I love the fanfic you’ve made!

Hello kind anon!! I'm alright! Just some typical, gross life stuffs been piling up. But doing better! I am also a little stuck on the fic at the moment but rest assured, it's far from abandoned. I have no idea when the next update will be but let's just say I HOPE to get it out SOON(ish) 😂😂 But no, thank you for the check in (and the love on the fic!!) i really do appreciate it 😭💙

[thegremlingirl]

Down On Your Luck (A Modern Little Thieves AU) Chapter 4

In which… our leads celebrate Halloween.

Read Chapter IV - The Masks We Wear: here

First Chapter and Summary Link: here

[thegremlingirl]

Just read your little thieves fic (it is 3am here😭😭😭) and I just wanted to let you know I’m enjoying it so much!!!

AHHHHH thank you sm! My fic is 3am worthy? I'm honored 😭😭

[nessa007]

FACTS

[phy-be]

the devil knows your name now, galaxy stern

[magneatio]

next years met gala theme should be GUTS and VITRIOL and INTESTINES and BLOOD and VISCERA and RAGE

[phy-be]

the gentleman demon | ALEX 

(please do NOT spoil hell bent in the notes)

[remusfinglupin]

Alex: We all have our demons.

Alex, grabbing Darlington: This one’s mine.

[jccatstudios]

Six of Crows character designs

[noobsydraws]

I filled the page with page with more Alex and Darlington. 🤣

[soupoftheday]

i really am trying

[loveuimsorry]

little thieves by margaret owen (@what-eats-owls)

“I am his puzzle and he is my lock, and it's an arms race to solve the other first. But somewhere in all the knots and twists and trapdoors, he turned to an arsonist, leaving his embers in my veins, smoke on my tongue, a fire burning softly in my heart. And it will not die easy.”

[brittany-murphy]

[unpretty]

some dudes like to talk a big game about how comedy suffers when people are afraid to offend but man, Mitch Hedberg was a white dude working in the era of peak offensive edgelord and his shit holds the fuck up so while most comedians will never come up with anything as timeless as “if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up” they could at least make an effort

[unpretty]

[siphersaysstuff]

Every McDonald’s commercial ends the same way, right? “Prices and participation may vary.” I wanna open a McDonald’s and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonald’s owner. I’ll say “Cheeseburgers? Nope. We got spaghetti! And blankets! We are not affiliated with that clown.”

Every book is a children’s book if the kid can read.

I would like to have a product that was available for three easy payments and one fuckin’ complicated payment. We can’t tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch! The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination! Good luck, fucker! That last payment must be made in wampum!

Hey, if you wanna talk to me after the show, I’ll be… fuckin’ surprised.

[awa64]

This shirt is “dry-clean only”… Which means it’s dirty.

One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture is of you when you were younger. “Here’s a picture of me when I’m older.” “You son-of-a-bitch! How’d you pull that off? Lemme see that camera… What’s it look like? ”

An escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. You would never see an “Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order” sign, just “Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

I play golf. I’m not good at golf, I never got good. I never got a hole-in-one. But I did hit a guy. And that’s way more satisfying. You’re supposed to yell “Fore!” but I was too busying mumbling “There ain’t no way that’s gonna hit him.”

When you’re in Hollywood and you’re a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things besides comedy. They say “All right you’re a stand up comedian, can you act? Can you write? Write us a script.” They want me to do things that’s related to comedy, but it’s not comedy. That’s not fair. It’s as though if I was a cook, and I worked my ass off to become a good cook, and they said “All right you’re a cook… can you farm?”

[amphitryo-deactivated20190813]

- “Rice is great when you’re you’re hungry and you want 10,000 of something”

- “Tennis is depressing because no matter how good you get, you will never be as good as a wall”

- “I order the club sandwich all the time, but I’m not even a member, man. I don’t know how I get away with it”

[anexperimentallife]

- “I used to think I could control ducks with my mind. But it turns out ducks and I just have really similar ideas about what ducks should do.”

- “I used to do a lot of drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who would be really mad if she heard me say that.”

- “I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I’m gonna stick pins in all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners so it doesn’t fall down.”

Mitch Hedberg was one of the funniest dudes alive.

[thegremlingirl]

Whelp. It's that time of the semester where everything is on fire and my brain is internally screaming...time to pull out old reliable (the 2007 MTV proshot of the Legally Blonde Musical posted onto Youtube Dot Com.)

[thegremlingirl]

the Painted Devils reading experience is going to go one of two ways for me.

Either

I'm gonna read the whole thing over the course of one night and wake up with the biggest book hangover known to man (headache, v*miting, crying all included)

or

2. It's going to take me like three months to finish it because every sentence is going to make me put the book down and scream into my pillow and/or pace around my room for several hours before continuing