La Plus Heureuse

"We read fantasy to find the colors again, I think. To taste strong spices and hear the songs the sirens sang. There is something old and true in fantasy that speaks to something deep within us, to the child who dreamt that one day they would hunt the forests of the night, and feast beneath the hollow hills, and find a love to last forever somewhere south of Oz and north of Shangri-La. They can keep their heaven. When I die, I'd sooner go to middle Earth."

[bosmerbutt]

[carnationinstantbutch]

*X-files theme*

[hotvampireadjacent]

*x files theme but played on a lute*

[tchaikovskaya]

yes offense but someone who isnt well versed in social justice discourse and has somewhat ignorant views of that stuff but who still genuinely cares about other people and actually does something to help them even if they dont necessarily “understand” them will litchrally always be superior to someone who thinks of other peoples suffering as an intellectual exercise and is only interested in developing their knowledge of theory and having all the Correct Opinions to look smart online or in their undergrad philosophy class lol

[sandersstudies]

Me: *wiping down a mirror in a bathroom at work*

Old woman: CRAZY isn’t it?

Me: I’m sorry?

Old woman: with COVID, having to sanitize EVERYTHING

Me: .... ma’am did you think before COVID these bathrooms cleaned themselves or... I have always had to wipe down the mirrors that’s why they aren’t filthy

[aninactivebloggfgfgf]

It’s amazing how people genuinely think there wasn’t cleaning before COVID every time I see it I’m like “did you not wash your hands before...?”

[official-lucifers-child]

legitimately asked someone “do you think that basic cleaning and sanitation just... invented itself specifically for covid? or have you never cleaned anything before now?” because they were complaining about having to wash their food and packages like ma’am please tell me you haven’t just been living as a gross little plague rat this whole time

[respectfulmemes]

[sleepnoises]

okay you know that scan/photo of a teen girl’s diary entry that goes like “wore yellow dress today. chris keeps trying to talk to me even though he KNOWS i’m not interested! ugh! man landed on moon.” anyway that’s the mood

[skinhorses]

[sleepnoises]

THIS person is valid, as is their grandmother

[catsdelightful-deactivated20240]

Today Minecraft Steve was added to Smash! I DM’d my first D&D game and it was lots of fun. So excited for October and really getting into the Halloween mood! Trump has covid.

[kaijuno]

HR: if they work 40 hours a week u have to give them benefits

Big company: hmm okay. They shall work 39

[tsoki]

HR: if they work 8 hours u have to give them a half hour lunch and intermittent breaks 

company: 7 hours and 50 minutes, it is 

[airframeextender]

the law: if theyre employees you have to pay for benefits

company: lets staff through a temp service and wait so long to hire them in they quit out of frustration

[lolotehe]

the law: You must pay them this and no less.

company: I shall pay them that and no more.

[officialweatherwax]

The law: you have to pay your employees

Company: then we’ll replace them all with interns

[black-geek-supremacy]

The law: you gotta increase wages

Company: we’ll cut hours

[paramud]

the law: you have to give raises

company: mayhaps they would enjoy an extra five cents

[kinetic-elaboration]

the law: employees have rights

company: around here we call them “independent contractors”

[itsthemissa-deactivated20260331]

I swear EVERY SINGLE ONE of my employers has been at LEAST two of these at once.

[warmhappycat]

Me, banging pots and pans together: UNIONIZE

[its-all-down-hill]

I love this insult 😂😂😂

[glendathegoodone]

Good insult

[butterynutjob]

This one needs fanart

[inqorporeal]

This one needs a cross-stitch pattern

[theflashisgone]

This one needs @theshitpostcalligrapher

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

heyo

[homunculus-argument]

 Hey btw, another worldbuilding thing: You can, and actually should have weird and impractical cultural things. They’re not inherently unrealistic, for as long as you address the realistic consequences as well.

 Let’s say you’ve got a city where there’s tame white doves everywhere. They’re not pests, they’re regarded as sacred, holy protectors of the city, and the whole city cares for them and feeds them like they’re pets. They’re so tame because it’s a social taboo to hurt or scare one. Nice pretty doves :)

 Then someone points out that even if they’re not seen as pests, doesn’t having a completely unchecked feral pigeon population - that not only isn’t being culled, but actively fed and cared for - mean that there would be bird shit absolutely all over the place?

 A part of you wants to say no, because these are your nice, pretty doves. To explain that there’s a reason why they’re not shitting all over the place, maybe they’re super-intelligent and specifically bred and trained to not shit all over the place. The logistics of how, exactly, could anyone breed and train a flock of feral birds go unaddressed.

 An even worse solution would be to not have those birds, editing them out of the world. No, they spark joy, you can’t just toss them out!

 Now, consider: Yes, yes they would, but the city also has an extensive public sanitation service that’s occupied 90% of the time by cleaning bird shit off of everything. One of the most common last names in the area actually translates to “one who scrapes off dove shit”, and it’s a highly respected occupation. And thanks to the sheer necessity of constantly regularly cleaning everything, the city enjoys a much higher standard of cleanliness, and less public health issues caused by poor public sanitation.

 The doves do protect the city. By shitting fucking everywhere.

[sunfortune]

[phoneticsubstance]

[croix-meridies]

I keep getting right wing scare ads on YouTube 🙄🙄🙄

[croix-meridies]

“It’s only a matter of time before socialist healthcare dismantles your private insurance”

[pettycentral]

[ladymalchav-archive]

[rosemarythunder]

photos that make you stop, google “billie piper gay”, and find on her wiki that she said in a 2006 interview with Gay Community News, “I fancy women big time… I check them out more than I check men out. Maybe I would want to sleep with a woman.”

[awsteb]

the people have spoken

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

"don't speak ill of the dead" don't be a piece of shit before you die.

[thesundanceghost]

what was remarkable about matilda was that it was her actual family that treated her like shit, not an orphanage or a step-parent or that she was adopted or anything like that.  there was no reveal like miss honey is like “im your real mother” it was all about found family because her family was bullshit and that was just the way it was.  it is so rare to see a biological family portrayed as people who don’t get their kids and don’t treat them right in kids media

[whitepeopletwitter]

[redroadtoadventure]

[kimabutch]

I’m sorry, I can’t come into work today. I didn’t get a long rest and god gave me a point of exhaustion. All my skill checks are at disadvantage.

[mostweakhamlets]

without American politics changing after 9/11 we wouldn’t have seen michael sheen in good omens 

[bigtiddygandalf]

…explainnn

[mostweakhamlets]

america’s response to 9/11 caused my chemical romance to form in protest

mcr inspired stephanie meyer to write twilight

twilight gets a movie deal

michael sheen gets casted as aro in the twilight films

a reporter asks michael sheen why he’s in such a silly film series for such a silly genre

michael sheen defends the genre publicly and cites neil gaiman’s works

neil gaiman hears about this and reached out and they go to dinner and eat illegal octopus

neil gaiman and michael sheen become friends

years later neil gaiman finally gets to adapt good omens for tv and casts michael sheen as aziraphale

[currentlybeltingbohemianrhapsody]