so, I am HERE for the amnesiac!Mollymauk theories, I both like and buy into them, and I am in general Here For The Angst, but I also cannot help picturing how completely hilarious it would be if, instead of any of that, and instead of any of Molly’s stories bearing any factual or tonal resemblance to reality, the party is in some little town on the Menagerie Coast someday and this voice cuts through the square, “MOLLYMAUK? MOLLYMAUK TEALEAF?”
“Oh shit,” says Mollymauk, hiding behind Yasha. Fjord is reaching for his falchion; Nott and Caleb are both backing away from him. Yasha just laughs and shoves him back into the open.
“Mollymauk!” yelps a plump, middle-aged tiefling woman about the height of Molly’s shoulder, with streaks of gray in her purple hair. “Don’t you try and hide from me –”
“Mama, I was going to come by as soon as my friends got settled at the inn –” Molly says frantically.
“The INN? Mollymauk Tealeaf, I know we raised you better than that – oh, well, there are a lot of them, all right, but tell me you at least remembered to invite them over for dinner – your father and I have been worried sick!”
“You wrote, yes, and then you wrote us that the circus was DISBANDED AND ARRESTED and you were travelling with a bunch of strangers – my hair was all purple before that letter,” she says, gesturing at her head. “And what have you done to your horns?”
“Kill me,” Molly mouths to the rest of the gang, every single one of whom is losing their entire shit.
“Get down here and hug your mother,” she says, and Molly laughs and does.