All I Ever Wanted Was the World

35 year old, homoflexible guy sharing some of the interests and thoughts that occur to him on an irregular basis. He/Him Pronouns. Blastoise was my first holographic card and Squirtle was my first pokemon starter choice. "Everyday is an opportunity to both defy and define who I am." - Joe McConaughy

[teashoesandhair]

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

[pjharvey]

we have to start running a massive PSA campaign to young gay people so everyone understands there is a difference between being a dom and being a top and between being a sub and being a bottom. and also that sometimes you are neither a sub nor a bottom and you're just like shy. we need to be handing out flyers we need ads at every train station spreading the word

[dustinyschild]

if you wanted to catch a cute guys attention, what would be your move?

I’d do this

[probuccalfat]

i have a Persian agenda where i encourage every man i know to grow the longest and prettiest hair possible

[probuccalfat]

personal agenda. Personal.

[argentcochon]

[probuccalfat]

i’m speechless. there’s a guy for everything.

[goldensunset]

>‘this thing is too generic and tropey’

>look inside

>forefather of that genre

[squidinu]

[mens-rights-activia]

[scrumptiousangst]

So which one was the punishment and which one the punished?

[its-funnytwittertweets]

[dragonpyre]

[sevastiel]

[badgersandbees]

Every single non trans woman who proclaims to be an ally absolutely needs to be posting about how goddamn transmisogynist staff is.

Because when trans women dare to speak up for themselves, Tumblr nukes their blogs.

We need to be fucking loud about this, daily, because Tumblr staff is specifically targeting and deleting trans women who are not breaking ToS and who often have fundraisers up FOR THEIR SURVIVAL.

By deleting these blogs repeatedly, Tumblr staff is saying loud and clear what they hope happens to these girls.

Are y'all okay with that? Because if not we need to be posting about it more because we have seen by now it's incredibly fucking unlikely this sites moderation will delete our blogs for it because we are not trans women

Tumblr staff and CEO Matt Mullenweg want trans women in need to not be able to post their fundraisers, meaning they are okay with these women dying.

[selfhealingmoments]

[holdyourthroat]

some emergency alert operator just gave me a three minute taste of being an indie horror game protagonist jesus fuckin christ

[railroadlion]

Shiny Mega Feraligatr, Croconaw, and Totodile

[sabertoothwalrus]

I love when someone is explaining instructions to a group I’m in and they look at me and it reminds them to say something about using preferred names/pronouns or that there’s vegan food options available. I go by my given name/pronouns and I’m not vegan but I’m proud that I can provide this service

[batbetbitbotbut]

[railroadlion]

Mega Feraligatr

[dykethang]

big if true tbh

[paradoxgavel]

looking it up, apparently this was an artist who made signs like this to parody the actual city council's signage, just told apart by his logo in the corner, "christchurch city confusion", and they had locals rly confused for a bit. my favorite is this one!

[aquilacalvitium]

@ominous-signs

[angrysexyshortstack]

Cis people simply don’t understand that the entire harry potter franchise is basically a hate symbol these days

[hppjmxrgosg]

"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)

in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.

[hppjmxrgosg]

you shut your mouth.