I wish anyone would notice when I’m depressed. Instead I just feel small and invisible
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@thelocaljester
I wish anyone would notice when I’m depressed. Instead I just feel small and invisible
Man: What’s a matter girl, you had a little bit too much corn?
Pig: *very long disgruntled groan which rises in pitch*
Man: Is that a yeah?
Pig: *shorter groan*
Man: Okay. Here I come, I gotta get the intoxicated pig… Look at this pig…
Pig: *quiet snort*
Man: Hey!
Pig: *snort*
Man: Are you messed up, girl?
Pig: *short snort*
Man: Never seen a damn pig… Look at that, that one here’s fine, that one there is fine, this one here is turned belly up
Pig: *snort snort snort snort*
Man: Hey you
Pig: *snort*
Man: Whoa! Whoa! Shit! [Unintelligible] HOWH! Come here girl!
Pig: *grunt grunt grunt*
Man: Holy hell, fuck…I didn’t mean to do that
“Whoa! Woah! Shit The Bed Almighty!” Is my new favorite expletive
and if anyone’s wondering, the man (from Cecilia, Kentucky, USA) had emptied a broken deer feeder full of accidentally fermented corn into a field where no animals were supposed to be. the pigs broke out of their pen, got into the corn, and the one you see here seriously overindulged
they observed her overnight and got Animal Control to do a check-up on her. she’s fine
so yes, you you can enjoy the video without worrying about Drunk Pig
source
they are putting me down tomorrow for being too earnest. but i really think it’s going to be okay : - )
PHRASE ADDED!
"Taste the god particle you rat"
CHARACTER ADDED!
The Gnome That Makes Snow Angels In Your Kitchen (Deceased)
okay im gonna hypnotize you with my ruby amulet now DONT BE WEIRD ABOUT IT. im doing this to make you betray the king. IT IS NOT A SEX THING
I think the fact that you immediately thought about clarifying it’s not a sex thing kinda makes it sound like it is a sex thing.
FOOL. i would be using my sex amulet for that
tgis is so fucking funny to me. they accidentally Rock Lee'd a retired racehorse
imagine youre a fat horse and your new neighbour is a personal trainer
lol she doesnt even know that the body is a loan or that earth is the true flesh
me: *trying to take my socks off but they keep getting stuck on my heel* oh fuck. goddamnit.
the extractor fan in a bathroom in Norway that has an intrinsic link to my spirit: *momentarily whirs louder*
5 original posts remain
picturing a roman empire equivalent of reactionaries who say "if you don't like it here then move somewhere else"
you actually do this but then the romans conquer the place you moved to and now you're stuck in the roman empire again
>be me in aquitania under roman rule
>heavy tax burden, repression, best land taken by former legionaries
>my small farm is priced out by local latifundium
>optimates say 'if you dont like it, leave'
>leave to germania
>romans come to germania, warband rallies to fight them, we lose
>enslaved, sent to salt mine in macedonia
>excavation doesnt go as planned, mine floods, i escape
>leave to dacia
>romans come to dacia, warband rallies to fight them, we lose
>enslaved, bound to quinquereme as a rower
>massive battle near aegyptus, enemy ram breaks my chains, ship sinks, swim to shore
>leave to judea
>romans come to judea, warband rallies to fight them, we lose
>enslaved, sent to latifundium in aquitania
>faciem meam quando
String identified: ctgaaatactaatttactattttactactatctaagaataaaatatatagaaactcaattatattaatgaaactgaaaaatgttattatacacaattgaacaatacaactacaaaatgttataaaattaagtaacatataactaaaatgttattatataaacaa
Closest match: Bos mutus isolate yakQH1 chromosome 17 Common name: Wild Yak
(image source)
#free this yak from the fucking romans already
you dont have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off, and while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the babys soft cartilage head into something a little more modern. it might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but lets see where the dog is going with this
This post is from 2013. It has less than 100 notes. Together we can revive this work of art that tragically ahead of its time. We’re ready for it now
me: *trying to take my socks off but they keep getting stuck on my heel* oh fuck. goddamnit.
the extractor fan in a bathroom in Norway that has an intrinsic link to my spirit: *momentarily whirs louder*
5 original posts remain
Truly animals are some of the most numerous creatures of earth
Count em
Well first of all there's this guy
Nothing wrong with me
it’s fun that Mormonism is based off pseudo-archeology and Scientology is based off pseudo-psychiatry. By that logic the big American New Religious Movement of the 21st century is gonna be based on… pseudo-computer science?
Hang on I need to look something up
does anyone know if you can get in trouble for feeling weird
Depends. Are you catholic?
this reads like disco elysium dialogue
I've been seeing a lot of knight posts recently. pretty great
What is an arrow in the flesh if not a parasite without a say in the matter? At least a leech or a worm is self serving, the arrow was never consulted before nocking.
they're like angels in that way