The Sassy Kitten

Quotes - Thoughts - Shit | sassiest kitty cat alive | The Sassy Kitten is an anonymous quoter and unstoppabe philosopher. Their blog is directed to any other kitties out there who seek comfort in words and find escape in fiction. The Sassy Kitten is known to be forgetful of their blog and wary of social situations, as well as being Gorilla glued to their laptop. - For more of Thelxipea\Sassy Kitten, follow their other account, Dreamboatpoetry on Tumblr. If you like romance-focused and thought- inducing poetry, their Dreamboat blog is just for you.

[thelxipea]

Difference between being looked at and being seen

[thelxipea]

being kids and pretending the Fourth of July sparklers were wands to unlock magical portals

[thelxipea]

[thelxipea]

Being me is like waking up every morning and saying, “oh shit, I’m still alive.”

[thelxipea]

you know you’re fucked when you tell your therapist your life story, and you ask, “So, can you help me?” And they say, “I’m a therapist; not a miracle-worker.”

[thelxipea]

I’m at that point in my life where everything pisses me off to no end

[thelxipea]

When the badass girlboss arrives in the show ur watching, and you can’t decide if you want to be her or you want to be stepped on by her

[thelxipea]

Me: *doomscrolling* Video: “Do something important today! You can do it!” Me: Oh, yeah, I can! Me: … Me: *proceeds to keep doomscrolling*

[thelxipea]

Do you think turned vampires test themselves out to see if they’re immortal or not?

[thelxipea]

Apparently, being human requires having to feel emotions.

[thelxipea]

[thelxipea]

Of course you can read me like a book. But can you understand the words?

[thelxipea]

It’s that day of the week again!

*cutely turns on Saddest Fucking Songs in the Universe playlist and withers in unwashed hoodies and cheap ramen*

[thelxipea]

Ragebait doesn’t exist.

Saying my unfiltered accurate opinions to people who I know may or may not agree with me in hopes of a reaction? Coincidental.

[thelxipea]

The Thing You Want to See The Most in the Medical Work Force?

Efficiency and Competence

Thoroughness and Patience

Solemnity and Focus

Positivity and Care

Empathetic and Understanding

Clear and Articulate Explanations

Gentleness and Kindness

Talkative and Hopeful

Quiet and Direct

Helpful and Supportive

Voting ended onMay 2

[thelxipea]

Damn, that personality looks gorgeous on you.

[thelxipea]

the best replies 101

Category: Flirty

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“You called” —> “You answered”

“I hate you” —> “Hate me harder”

“I need a seat” —> “I volunteer”

“You look innocent” —> “Until you start asking the right questions”

“I’m going to bite you” —> “Sounds kinky”

Calling you names —> Say “pretty __” and add their name to the blank

“Stop” —> “Hmm? Stop what?”

Someone not finishing their sentence —> “Don’t be shy now”

“You’re fat” —> “Sorry, baby, this is all muscle. Wanna peek?”

“I don’t like you” —> “That’s okay. I’ll be here when you get better tastes”

“You’re so weird!” —> “It gets you blushing, doesn’t it?” [One Step Further: Not afraid to get vulgar? Try saying, “You wet?”]

Insulting you —> Bite your lip

“Fck you!” —> “More fun if you’re there”

“Oh my god, fck you!” —> “That’s what your mom said to me last night”

“Oh god!” —> “Now, now, no need to pray. I’m right here”

“Please fck off” —> “Is that begging I hear?”

“Fck off!” —> “Say please”

“I’m going to k!ll you” —> “Don’t threaten me with a good time”

“I’ll ch0ke you” —> “Geez, take me to dinner first”

“Wh0re\s!ut” —> “Talk dirty to me, baby”

Insulting you —> “Mm, tell me more”

“What am I to you?” —> “I thought you were mine”