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@themeaningofgentle
When you work at Lush and customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese
this happens way more frequently than you think, i assure you
Well if you frickers stopped literally presenting soap as deli food maybe it wouldnt happen?
who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese
who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese
@bonesandbrokenteeth
it is pretty hard to find solid statistics on wolf attacks, but as far as i can tell, wolves in north america kill way way way less than one person a year, which means that forces more deadly to us than wolves include: dogs, ice fishing, and getting crushed by a falling flat screen tv.
…further complications to trying to write non-ridiculous angst into a werewolf story
“you don’t understand…i’ve done things under the full moon that i can never take back…one time i ate a squirrel”
“I SNIFFED MY OWN BUTT. THE INDIGNITY HAUNTS ME STILL.”
“i have pooped in the woods and now must go brood about it. don’t try to follow me.
…and seriously, be careful around your flatscreen, it is probably heavier that you think.”
European wolves (before they were hunted into extinction in most areas) attacked humans purposefully a lot; it’s in the historical record.
North American gray wolves have a natural fear of humans and attack people very rarely, really only when threatened or starving.
So like, imagine, like, a divide between people who got infected with Old World and New World lycanthropy. One makes you this dangerous beast that sees humans as a viable food source an another makes you perceive humans as a threat. Imagine people getting it wrong!
Some shady paranormal group capturing a werewolf to use as security but it just runs away when people trespass.
Some hunters go deep into the woods to murder a werewolf clan for their pelts but it turns out they’ve isolated themselves so deeply because they have the European strain and none of the hunters survive.
New werewolves are so confused because the websites give conflicting advice: get yourself to your nearest national park when you’re about to turn and just let yourself run free; if you try to cage yourself the claustrophobia and the smell of people will make you panic and you could really hurt yourself or someone else.
vs
If you’re anywhere near human civilization you must make sure you turn in a closed space that you can’t escape from in wolf form or you’ll definitely kill someone. Just try to take a nap during the full moon, OK.
And they’re like, WHAT DO I DO WHICH ONE DO I HAVE?
updated position: at the end of the day, there are, in fact, a number of possible compelling werewolf problems.
case in point, the global werewolf cultural divide!
on the subject of the global werewolf cultural divide, another update, per wikipedia:
Wolves from different geographic locations may howl in different fashions: the howls of European wolves are much more protracted and melodious than those of North American wolves, whose howls are louder and have a stronger emphasis on the first syllable. The two are however mutually intelligible, as North American wolves have been recorded to respond to European-style howls made by biologists (x)
that’s right guys: wolves have accents
@darkicedragon
Gymnastics has come a long compared to that old footage, but this difference is particularly significant for black girls! Because they have never taken seriously our abilities! Just because the color of our skin is not what they want to see!
Simone Biles’s fantastic performance has been covered by many news outlets all these years! Now we can see the real difference!
#BlackGirlsMagic
It’s like a metaphor of what millenials have to do to get jobs vs baby boomers lol
I was debating whether to reblog but that last comment did it for me
Who wore it best?
Consider these last minute entries too:
Stephanie wins so hard.
Disney clearly is a propaganda machine opposed to elderly, single women.
Why The Queen Isn’t The Real Villain In Snow White
One, can we like….not blame Disney for a fairy tale that is at least 200 years older than the company?
Two, can we stop blaming patriarchy for abusive women who try to kill other people so they can stay in power? First of all, the tale never specified that the mirror was a male. It is actually specifically referred to as an “it.” Second of all, if you read the story:
A year later the king married another woman. She was a beautiful lady, but proud and arrogant and could not bear being second to anyone in beauty.
“Anyone” is not specified to be female, and it is implied that the Queen would have killed the person out of envy regardless of whether the “most beautiful in the land” was a woman or man. Does the patriarchy probably play a part in her quest to be the most beautiful in the land? Sure. But none of the men in the story even comment on her beauty; the narrative presents the Queen as someone who is prideful, envious, and arrogant to the point where she will abuse and kill a young girl (Snow White is 8-10 in most versions of the story) to stay the most beautiful in the land. She is the real villain of the story, and we need to stop blaming society for the abhorrent actions of people just because they are women.
And the kingdom she's ruling belongs to Snow White, so there's that.
Another woman utterly failed by our society’s devaluation of women’s reproductive health. We can’t wait around for male doctors to decide what we need to know. This is why we need to take control and educate ourselves about our own bodies.
and here’s some comments i saw under the post. why is this a pattern?? why is this a recurring theme?? why is this information not common knowledge? what the fuck are doctors doing??
This is news to me so let’s share it so people will know!
Gross tmi: but i passed a pretty big clot after having my daughter. It was about the size of a baseball. It actually hurt worse because while 15 hours of labor opened my cervix, i passed the clot in 30 minutes. I knew it was a possibility because of my midwife and reading, but everyone Ive told after this (mostly other pregnant women) were shocked that this could happen.
In our culture, it’s much more common to do deep research about what family cars we want to buy than we do about childbirth when we ’re pregnant.
I was most definitely told about this in school. Fucking hell, 4-6 weeks of bleeding? My periods were/are bad enough, why the hell don’t we get told this?
I didn’t know it could last so long, wtf? Is the bleeding inevitable after birth?
Bleeding is inevitable after birth - your uterine wall is shedding a fuck ton of lining. It can last from three to six weeks (possible longer) and it tapers off.
More TMI - I passed a MASSIVE clot after my fourth birth. At this point I already knew this could happen - it’s normal. What I DIDN’T know, was that I had caused it.
My post birth contractions were so bad after the birth that it felt like full transition labor. And they don’t give you anything for the pain. So I used a hot water bottle, without the nurses knowing, and it caused me to bleed even more. I lost so much blood that by the first time they sat me up to go to the bathroom, I fainted. It took three more tries until I could sit up.
Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, the next morning I passed a clot the SIZE OF ANOTHER PLACENTA I KID YOU NOT, and I know what is and is not normal. So I called for the nurse and through the door told her I had passed a huge clot, and her response was - “It’s not big. I know what big is.” She hadn’t even looked. So I rolled my eyes and said, “Yeah, no. It’s big, I’m telling you.”
So, sounding extremely put upon, she asked me to open the door. I did, and after a long pause she goes, “Okay, yeah, that’s a little big.”
YOU DON’T SAY.
The point I’m trying to get across is that this shit is so common - women not knowing this stuff is so expected, and it keeps getting reinforced. People don’t expect you to know anything, don’t teach you anything, and then make you feel like you’re totally ignorant and a burden for your lack of knowledge when THEY WON’T SHARE.
Fucking learn EVERYTHING you can when it comes to childbirth, girls. It is the single most empowering thing you can do for yourself. And if you missed something, that’s okay. But the more knowledge you arm yourself with, the more in control of your situation you’ll be.
A few post partum tips:
DON’T use a hot water bottle - lol.
ONLY pads - NO tampons. Tampons can cause severe infection, not to mention, you probably don’t want to be shoving anything up there any time soon.
If you’ve had stitches, sitz baths DO help relieve the pain. Another great pain reliever? Dampen some pads and freeze them. Let one thaw slightly and use it on top of another pad. This will help with the pain as well as reduce swelling. Change the pad out as soon as it’s thawed completely. This REALLY helps on the first couple days after giving birth.
If you pass a clot, don’t sweat it. Even the one I passed, which was fucking massive, just required that we keep an eye out to make sure it didn’t happen again. If it does, talk to your doctor.
Take a pain killer half an hour before nursing. Because YES - your uterus is contracting after you give birth, to get back to its original size, and nursing causes much stronger contractions. Taking nursing-safe painkillers won’t prevent the pain, but it will reduce it.
Buy disposable underwear for the first few days after birth. They will get VERY dirty. Or use your ratty old pairs that you’re ready to get rid of. Double up on pads - line them all the way up your ass-crack. I am so serious. And wear dark pants.
Pee in the shower. You do NOT want to wipe down there right after birth because ow. Peeing in the shower lets you just rinse afterwards. Especially if you’ve had stitches, peeing in the shower, with the shower-head rinsing AS you go, keeps stinging to a minimum. And fuck everyone else - keep on peeing in the shower until you feel ready to move back to toilet paper. Middle of the night and need to pee? Get your pants off - get in the shower and just go.
This is just a few things, but PLEASE feel free to send me an ask if you have any questions about ANYTHING childbirth/pregnancy/nursing related. I have four incredible kids. I’ve done it all - c-section, vacuume birth, episiotimy, stitches, with an epidural, without an epidural. I’m here.
….I know I keep reblogging this but people keep adding super important information.
I feel like no one tells women this stuff because if a woman was even a little on the fence about having a baby before this would kinda make them run for the damn hills.
…..you are correct, typing.
300% EXTRA SURE I’M NOT HAVING BABIES.
peri bottles, witch hazel or anti-pain anticeptic spray are your friends. Also passing large clots after birth is a WARNING SIGN. Bigger than a half dollar is a sign that you have not passed your entire placenta (this is most common in hospital vaginal births where the mother is not allowed to naturally birth the placenta and instead has it ripped out by the doctor) if there is any placenta left in your uterus you can get extremely ill. This happened to both myself and my mother in law
WOW I didn’t know any of this and I’m terrified of what more I’m unaware of about my own body :( Honestly when will we fucking abolish this taboo about the female body…
I had pretty great sex ed in school (lots of contraceptive information, and totally acknowledged that teenagers might have sex) and all of this is news to me.
And, as a 28-year-old person with a uterus, I’m extremely appalled I’m just learning this.
Long, but very important information, even for those who don’t plan to have children, because you will almost certainly know someone who will, and you might be able to to help them. Or at least increase your level of empathy for them.
This makes me legitimately afraid to have a baby x.x
This is one of those posts that I constantly reblog because it is VITAL.
Wow my doctor totally lied to me in saying I’m safe to have children…
My period, which is light, is enough to make me at risk for v-tac. Why don’t doctors consider this when talking to chronically ill people and refusing to let them sterilize themselves out of self preservation….
The “REAL [parent]” trope
You know that trope where an adopted person finds out who their biological parent is, and the writer keeps using the term “REAL [parent]”? Yeah, it’s super gross, and I wish it would stop.
It devalues adopted parents, step parents, legal guardians, and parental figures, and puts all the emphasis on biology, which is a terrible message to give to non-biological parents, AND to their kids. It’s also a terrible message to give people who’s biological parents are terrible parents. It also often perpetuates the narrative that parents somehow own their children, when it’s used in scenarios where a parent gave up or lost custody of their child, and now wants custody back on no other basis than a biological “right” to the child.
The importance and value a parent has in a person (or character’s) life should be determined by the effect they have on their child, not genetics. A biological parent is not more “REAL” than any other type of parent, ESPECIALLY if they’ve been absent for much/most of the child/person’s life, and it’s genuinely awful to perpetuate the harmful narrative that they are.
it also makes those who gave kids up for adoption feel gross, for that perspective.
i had a kid when i was barely 18, living in my car. i gave her up for adoption because… barely 18, living in my car.
and every time someone finds out and comments that i’m her “real” mother, i feel so gross. i’m not her real mother??? her mother is her mother??? i’m a total stranger? i do not know this child, i’m not her “real” mother??
it’s horrible, and gross, and i hate it. i shouldn’t hold more weight than the people actually loving and caring for her, and damn do i wish that “real parent” bull would stop.
FUCKING THIS.
As an adopted child, I go out of my way to say “bio dad/mom” because I’ve only met my bio mom twice, neither of which I knew she was the person who gave birth to me (I was adopted within the family). My bio dad? No one even knows who he is.
I also really really wish that adoptive parents wouldn’t go out of their way to hide the fact that their kid is adopted. It’s always been such a foreign concept to me that adopted kids find this out only when they’re adults and go in search of their bio parents in the hopes of learning some huge revelation about themselves. I was told I was adopted ever since I could learn to read, and my parents gave me this cute illustrated children’s book called “why was I adopted?” and explained to me that yes, I am adopted, but I am still their child and they love me very much.
I was 12 when I asked my mom who my bio mom was, and she said “Oh it’s your Aunt Kathy” and I was just “oh. Okay.” That’s it. No big revelation, just that I was adopted inside the family and my adoptive dad is biologically my uncle.
More children should be raised like this, like adoption is a normal part of growing up. Making it a huge secret, waiting to tell them until they’re “old enough to handle it” (generally when they’re a teenager or older) is just making it harder on them. Trust me, children as young as five, maybe even younger, can understand the concept.
Teach them with how people rehome kittens or puppies when the cat or dog gets pregnant on accident. Something like “Remember how Mrs. Johnson had all those kittens she couldn’t take care of? Sometimes people have babies they can’t take care of, so they give them to other people who want or can’t have babies of their own and will love them just as much.”
That’s it. It’s seriously that simple. Please stop making adoption a huge deal that has to be hidden from your children.
This is so super important. I have a little cousin who’s adopted from Thailand and god its just so disgusting the idea of “real” parent hnngggggggggggñg. Normalize adoption.
I was adopted practically at birth, the man and woman who adopted me are my mother and father end of story.
I know who my biological parents are but they don’t want anything to do with me so who gives them the right to be considered my parents? They’re just the genetic source of my DNA, that’s their only importance to me
my sister in law is afraid of her mentally ill mother who abused her until she moved out with her dad. She didn’t even want this woman at her wedding. Her step mom is more her mom than anyone else.
know the difference
It has come to my attention that many people mistake wyverns for dragons, so here’s a post to help you remember
Dragon: 4 legs, 2 wings
Wyvern: 2 legs, 2 wings
Drake: 4 legs, flightless
Wyrms: long snake like body with no appendages, can also appear as a traditional Chinese dragon with 4. Legs and no wings yet can fly
Amphithere: 0 legs 2 wings, can be feathered
Lindwurms: 2 legs, 0 wings, long body
Luck dragon: 4 legs, no wings, can fly, long body, furry with dog like face
Komodo dragon: 4 legs, no wings, real
Bearded dragon: 4 legs, 0 wings, often kept as pets
THANK YOU
Mystery Bomb Shelter
An anonymous poster on 4chan shared the story of a shelter his grandfather, who had been in the war, had built. The family was never allowed in there so he jumped at the chance to check it out after his grandfather had passed away. They were looking for anything that might be worth selling in the estate sale, but what he found was shocking. (Source & Source)
nope nope nope
I love how upset Onision gets about anti-feminists. I feel like he actually cares. No one else seems to speak out as much as him and I think that’s important. Especially since we should already be at a point were feminism shouldn’t have to be a thing because we should ALL already be equal.
Onision is an absolute dipshit.
Onion is an asshole that screams cuss words at people that don’t agree with him and has a very lose understanding about history.
no one hates women more than feminists
Isn’t he the guy whose abusive to his wife and once video taped her having a fucking panic attack or some shit? I’ve literally heard nothing but bad things about him and it’s honestly no surprise feminists would endorse him just because he says what they want him to about anti-feminists whilst still being a scum bag.
He’s also the guy who made fun of Daniel Kyre for committing suicide and berated Markiplier for mourning him.
Onision has multiple gold medals in the Edgelord™ Olympics
He rapes children yet thinks he has the moral high ground over everyone for some delusional reason
He’s also a list of a whole bunch of other horrible shit, but I ain’t got all day
wait what?!
Just to explain my claim (but also trying not to get all into it cause I will be here forever, there are blogs on here that archive his shit such as onisiondrama and threads on basically every site like lolcow, kiwifarms, encyclopediadramatic, PULL, etc, that keep up with him as well):
Onision has a thing for underage girls, while he does his best to keep himself looking 16 when he’s actually closer to 30.
His first wife Skye he met in high school and was probably the closest thing to a normal relationship for him. He filed for divorce cause he found younger tail to chase, Shiloh, and to this day Onision still tries to make himself sound oh so abused for having to pay alimony to Skye. Literally whines about it like he was ass raped with a cactus or something, crying suicide blahziblah.
Shiloh was a singer who was kind of coming up before she met him and her whole life was ruined. But she was just as twisted as he was, but anyhoo, before she was legal he was trying to get at that and so he would pay to fly her to him and fly them to different states where he could fuck them without it being illegal. The pedophile is that dedicated to jailbait. Anyhoo, a string of bullshit later, and a lot of lies including miscarriages and made up diseases, oh and that infamous video (which is still up now, mirrored) of Shiloh having some kind of memory lapse… disassociation…something which could be fake or not who knows point is he put it on youtube for views instead of calling 911 or they both faked it for views. The next infamous video from this era is when he recorded her having a mental breakdown threatening to kill herself and he just needed it to be on youtube too. By this point Shiloh was bald and clearly dead inside. To this day her music career has been obliterated, his army of babies went after her so much, and still do, that it’s impossible.
I guess I will be getting all into it… which I don’t mind tbh, I seen people trying to defend him and that is just not acceptable. Young people playing his white knight is his exact target. Praying on the fact that they are a fan of his, yknow, people who worship him and are a decade younger? Anyhoo
The next life he ruined was this girl Taylor but that’s his current wife so I’m skipping her for a second and moving to Adrianne. Adrianne’s time with him was short, it only took him like a couple days of talking on twitter or some shit before he convinced her to quit her job (this was the only legal girl btw, remember he’s somewhere around 30 while praying on 16 year olds) but I think she was in her early 20s, idc, point here is when he flew her out to him he was trying to fuck her within 30 seconds. Adrianne maintains that she was not raped, just simply forced to fuck him when she didn’t really want to but eventually just kind of gave in since he was basically already on top of her.
Google her letter about him, she details everything he put her thro in the span of a week, enough to make 3 lifetime movies really. Also look up his voice mails to her on youtube where he swings between being hateful or apologetic or just trying to talk like they’re friends to him getting all pissy and threatening her to him laughing and trying to be nice again…there’s like 20 voice mails over the span of a few hours and he just keeps calling and calling going thro the abuse tactics and she wasn’t having none of that, she moved out and went back to her old job.
I should mention he likes to lure in girls by telling them they won’t ever have to work, he’ll show them how to edit videos for his channel and he will pay them for that. Aka, he will have financial control.
Back to Taylor, aka Lainey, they met on twitter or some shit, same deal of she’s his fan and he’s a creep, but she was like fangirl of the year and ofc he loves anyone who worships him. (Should I mention he has his own cult? It’s called salencia or some nonsense) Same deal of flying her to a state where he can tap that without worrying about the law, but he also sort of kidnapped her since her parents didn’t really know what was going on for a while. The youtube community is the ones who reached out to her parents and shit, and Shiloh had come back into the picture to be 2 faced and sneaky but she didn’t stick around, but anyway he was able to get permission from Lainey’s parents to marry her and so he did. And then he knocked her up. But this was after them being on the dl for a while as to avoid people calling him the pedophile that he is, they only took the relationship public after she became legal.
Now he’s busy exploiting the fact that she’s a confused young mother who claims to be some sort of genderspecial snowflakesexual something or other, and so he found yet another underage girl and tried to play cuck with them, forcing them to kiss for his YT channel and other nonsense. Basically it’s like, Lainey said she likes girls so he made her get a gf so the 3 of them can…who even knows. Lainey probably just wanted a friend tbh. Billie I think just turned 18. But recently he was found “”“cuddling”“” with Billie naked (he said he gave her a full body massage cause thats what his mom used to do to him, so its ok now…?) when Lainey went out so Lainey was all “I’m taking my baby and leaving!” But that shit only lasted like a fucking day before she went back.
Billie got a lot of hate and I was in the chat of the live stream she did shortly after this all came to light, obv for attention, but I don’t think she was prepared for the amount of hate she was going to get. I think he’s cucking them again, idk.
You should also Google the before and after pictures of these women cause they all look 10000% dead inside after dealing with him.
I typed this all in an effort to turn some kids away from him cause when he’s done using up Lainey and moves onto Billie, and then is done with her, he’ll start looking into his fan base again.
Also he writes books that are horrible that you can read online for free, stories about guys basically stalking women and perusing them and being a little snake until his self insert, I mean character, gets the chick.
Also he’s retarded and cooked his turtle alive cause he forgot that animals require oxygen to breath and that small containers get hot when left in the sun. I just tossed that in cause fuck onision.
That doesn’t even touch on the shit he pulls with other people, legit, I just wrote a novel about his gfs/wives, leaving out as much of the extra as possible, and this post is still long as fuck.
And that’s really not even talking about his little skits that are just… there’s dark humor and then there’s what the fuck ever he does…which is also never funny cause first of all he’s terrible and secondly he’s onision.
https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Onision
Probably has the most organized view of his shit and I believe they provide links to the stuff I’ve mentioned above like the letter and the voicemails, if y'all wanna fall into the rabbits hole that is his life. The most recent drama I can remember from him is him going after children on the internet who were upset by the singer that was shot right before orlando. Legit telling these little girls that they’re only doing it for attention and that there are people dying in other countries that they don’t care about, people die everyday yada yada…just rude.
I didn’t even get into the ways he likes to try and publicly humiliate his gfs on social media like one time Lainey got a retweet from a band member of some ban she’s in love with and Onision pissed himself and starting whining about how it’s disrespectful cause the dude doesn’t like him…started trying to say she has no loyalty and generally try to make her feel like shit over a retweet.
Or the time she just wanted to give a shout out praising her mom so onision decided to retweet that saying that her mom was abusive and just put shit on blast like specific things her parents did to her just to rain on her parade then had the nerve to try and back peddle like “no hunny what I meant is your mom can’t be mom of the year if you are :):):)” like ugh choke on a onion, Onion.
—>Tl;dr Onision has an established pattern of praying on his young fans, flying them to states where it’s legal to fuck them, convincing them to come live with him (isolation) by saying he will pay them to edit his videos (financial control) and eventually just breaks them down as a person and rapes them a lot (“"technically”“, he’s always had always had an obsession with having a child and wanted to try a lot, despite what the girl wanted) until they’re just a shell of their former selves and he’s free to do what the hell ever he wants to and with them. God forbid they try to leave as he will use his YT to slander the chick just to make sure they don’t recover from what he put them through. And he puts it all on social media for the world to see literally every step of the way. All the while crying like a little emo acne-coated bitch about how hard his life is and asking if he’s pretty 24/7.
Nowadays he’s hopping on the SJW bandwagon trying to push the same old “progressive left” nonsense which is absolutely crazy coming from a piece of shit of this caliber. Dead ass he’ll be like “What kind of person does that to to a child?” as his barley legal baby mama looks dead-eyed next to him or “I believe women are superior to men” as he…does all this to them.
This really is just the tip of the iceberg man. I just tried to condense about a decade of bullshit into a coherent post but…it’s probably all over the place. And to people trying to call this slander: he puts this all online his damn self, ain’t nothing to slander or defame. Shut up.
Tonight on First 48….
Holy shit. I just thought he was annoying as fuck.
Wow, I didn’t know half of this.
My house is not work
So there’s this really entitled customer that goes to my store. She’s a horrible person who screams at everything and just makes it difficult. She also lives in my neighborhood. For the most part, I ignore her if I’m out walking and she does the same (though some days she acts super friendly and tries to ask me about discounts at work).
Anyway, it was my day off and I pull into the neighborhood after running an errand. I see her walking smack dab in the middle of the lane. Great. So I drove around her, there was plenty of room, and go home (it’s a little house I rent from my aunt). Once I was parked in the drive I sat in the car for a couple minutes responding to a text message. By the time I got out and grabbed my grocery bags, I see her come stomping up my drive way. She starts screaming almost instantly saying how I almost hit her and that I was a horrible driver.
It’s my day off and this lady is yelling at me. I snapped at her to shut up and told her she shouldn’t have been walking in the middle of the lane. And she just gasped like I had offended her.
“I’m going to tell your manager.”
“I’m sorry what. You’re going to tell my manager what exactly? That I told you to shut up while you yelled at me in front of my home? Tell me how that goes.“
She got red in the face and starts huffing about how she is gonna get me fired and just ranting about things that happened at work. 1. We aren’t at the store. 2. Wtf. I just turned around and started walking to my door and she starts yelling even louder about how dare I walk away from her and how she’s a loyal customer to my store so I should respect her. I almost laughed. I told her I was going inside to call the cops because she was trespassing and verbally assaulting me. She stuttered something about how I can’t do that.
"I live here. You don’t. This isn’t my work. You can’t yell at me here. And you damn well can’t yell at me at work either or I’ll call security.” She turned and left, threatening me the entire time. I called my boss and told him what happened, he sounded mad when he said she better not show her face. Then I called the neighbor who texted me asking what happened and she was pissed too. I also informed my aunt in case this ridiculous lady tried shit.
I just do not get people. I’m in front of my home. What part of your mind is saying it is okay to behave like that? Next time I see her walking, I’ll just keep honking at her to move. And she better never get near my home or car or me again or I will call the cops.
Watch: Steve then sees who the guy was sitting with and points out how truly f***ed up his comment was.
Hey I like this guy. I didn’t know he was the comedian everyone was talking about. Good for him.
can we take a second to ponder on the fact that a kids movie did lady armor better than the entire film and comic industry
guess who i’m talking about
did you guess? Well you’re fucking WRONG because it’s Susan goddamn Pevensie
They gave her light armor, appropriate for a small archer:chainmail, an arm brace, chest plate, and a light skirt she can easily run around murderizing dudes in the face in
her hair is also only loose in the promo pictures because Susan is fucking busy not dying because her hair was flying into her eyeballs so she braids that shit back
her mail shirt is also loose enough that it doesn’t impede her arm movements it’s almost like she’s dressed for a fight wow
I like the pinks and purples under her bitchin as hell leather armor here, because you don’t have to be masculine to shoot someone in the goddamn face
you could curse a police officer out, kick their car, throw a temper tantrum and throw trash. and that still doesnt mean they get to kill you. what the fuck is wrong with yall? why do you think police get some special license to kill when they get disrespected?
if they cant do their job without murdering unarmed people, they dont deserve their badge, or anyones respect.
tim drake’s snapchat is 90% him making bruce wayne do normal middle-class american things and filming the results. popular youtube compilations include the one where they’re at denny’s at two in the morning and tim keeps trying to get bruce to order a moon over my hammy just so he’ll have to say it, the one where they’re at disneyworld and bruce gets increasingly frazzled culminating in him actually physically picking up gaston for reasons no one can entirely recall, and everyone’s favorite series “bruce wayne doesn’t understand walmart”
having thought about it the best part is probably when a pranking fails because bruce has such a bizarre patchwork of knowledge/skills and it does not occur to him to hide most of it. tim puts a ghost pepper in bruce’s food but bruce just eats it like nothing is wrong. the same thing happens with the chocolate-covered crickets. it turns out bruce can lick his own elbow. bruce can lasso a runaway robot lawnmower like it’s a calf at a rodeo. whenever tim expresses shock that bruce knows how to do something he says “i did go to college, tim” as if that explains anything and it becomes a meme. whenever anyone does something fucking absurd it just gets tagged “i did go to college, tim”.
The camera came uncomfortably close to the face of a man ignoring it. He was very good at it. He was reading a book about, of all things, the history of denim. It was not the sort of book that made it easy to ignore cameras, but he remained stoic.
The caption said helpfully: [been doing this for 30 mins]
“Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. We need to go Walmart. Bruce. I need it.”
“Ask Alfred.”
→→→
“It’s a surprise for Alfred.”
“You can’t surprise Alfred.”
“Bruce, please.”
→→→
“It’s not a matter of permission, I’m saying you literally can’t surprise Alfred.”
→→→
[he hates when i say that]
“Bruuuuce.”
“No.”
“This is bullroar.”
Bruce finally set down his book with an expression of the most profound disgust.
→→→
[oh no now we’ll be here all day]
“—either curse or don’t, just commit one way or the other instead of—”
→→→
The camera took its time panning over a black BMW.
“Can I drive?”
“No.”
→→→
[after this he took away my music privileges]
Bruce was driving, looking stoic again. His face lent itself well to stoicism. The radio played, at high volume, “Sandstorm” by Darude.
→→→
“I’ll play something different this time.”
“You had your chance and you blew it on a meme.”
→→→
[SJGJDH;FUKC 😂😂😂]
“I’m boooored.”
“Hi, bored,” Bruce said, eyes still on the road, and Tim groaned loudly. “I don’t give a shit.”
The view shifted and audio clattered as Tim dropped the phone, barking a laugh.
→→→
The phone was wobbly as Tim followed Bruce into the store. “Can I get a trampoline?” he asked, camera pointed to one outside the store.
“We have three trampolines.”
“But I want that one.”
→→→
They were in the chip aisle. “Have you ever had a Dorito? One Dorito? In your whole life?”
“I am a person. I eat food for people.”
→→→
The camera followed a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos into the cart.
“We’re not getting those.”
“We need to get sour cream, too.”
“No.”
“You’ll love it.”
“No.”
→→→
Tim had put the seatbelt of the cart’s seat, intended for toddlers, around a giant plastic jar of orange cheese puffs.
“I thought you were getting something for Alfred.”
“I’m getting groceries while we’re here.”
“None of this is food.”
→→→
[$3 pickles blowing his mind rn]
Bruce was holding a gallon jar of pickles with an expression of incredulity.
“—costs extra to not waste food?”
“It’s Walmart.”
“Even taking into account the economies of scale—”
→→→
[putting his degree to use in the pickle aisle]
“—it just makes no sense even as a loss leader, unless the goal is to drive the competition out of business and hope they don’t go bankrupt in the—”
→→→
[i think he’s buying a pickle company??]
Bruce had every appearance of furiously texting on his phone, or possibly composing emails.
→→→
[lmao he did]
Bruce was now on his phone, looking impassive as ever as he contemplated the giant jar of pickles.
“—the business itself is perfectly sound. Yes. Obviously. Dead serious. Look, if you—”
→→→
Tim put a gallon jug of ranch dressing into the cart.
“Absolutely not.”
→→→
Tim was in the frozen section, his reflection visible in the glass.
“I bet Alfred would love some pizza rolls.”
“Your lies demean us both, Tim.”
→→→
Bruce was standing in the toy aisle, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I understand the concept of blind boxes perfectly well, thank you.”
“Then why are you acting confused?”
“Why does Thomas the Tank Engine—”
→→→
[🌈🌈🌈]
Bruce was making a face of disgruntled bafflement at a display of baby clothes.
“—disturbed by the amount of aggressive heterosexuality being foisted on these babies.”
“Yeah,” Tim agreed. “What about the gay babies?”
“I can’t tell if you’re joking but I’m unironically concerned.”
→→→
[gotham pride]
The camera panned over a display of hero-themed hats. Most of the Batman hats had sold out, while the Superman display was nearly full. It panned back to Bruce, who was taking a picture with his own phone.
“Who you texting it to?”
“Friend in Metropolis.”
“Metropolis sucks.”
“Yes. Yes it does.”
→→→
[no escape]
The camera peered out slowly from behind a clothing display. Bruce was surrounded by enthusiastic and friendly women. It was impossible to tell what they were talking about.
→→→
[???]
Bruce was holding a dress up against himself. The women around him seemed delighted and were nodding their approval.
→→→
[i’ll strike while he’s distracted]
Tim dropped another two four-movie collections of Shrek on top of the considerable pile he’d already amassed. He panned up to check that Bruce had not caught him before grabbing another.
→→→
[busted]
While Bruce put DVDs back on the shelf, Tim surreptitiously grabbed a Shrek coloring book.
→→→
[he’s gonna get a fish]
Bruce was frowning at the wall of fishtanks in silence. Finally he said, “These fish are very unhealthy.”
→→→
[HE’S BUYING ALL THE FISH]
The man attempting to help Bruce looked baffled. Bruce gestured to the entire display of fish with a nod. The man shook his head. Tim brought his phone close to a betta, blue and red with a tattered and graying tail.
“We’re here to save you,” Tim stage-whispered to it.
→→→
Bruce was now engrossed in conversation with multiple employees.
“—if I bought some tanks — they’re much too small but as a temporary measure — we could transfer them directly and it might be less distressing for the fish.”
“Maybe I could get one of the big dolly carts from the back?” one young man suggested.
→→→
The low camera angle suggested Tim was trying to be surreptitious.
“—for trying to unionize is completely against the law,” Bruce was saying, his voice low. He was helping three other employees transfer fish into large plastic tanks.
“At-will employment,” one woman said.
“We’d have to prove that was why they fired us,” someone clarified. “Otherwise they can say it was for no reason.”
“You’re shitting me.”
→→→
“—fucking with my hours hoping I’ll quit.”
“What? Why?”
“If they fired me, they’d have to pay unemployment.”
“That’s why they won’t let me work full-time.”
“What the fuck.”
→→→
[omg he’s stealing the employees now]
“—in Gotham, but there’s more opportunities outside of manufacturing if you’re willing to move.”
“Wait, so do you mean like for management?”
“No, no, that’s the starting wage for someone working assembly, quality control, that kind of thing. We’re all unionized, none of this at-will bullshit.”
“So if I—”
→→→
The woman from earlier was showing Bruce her phone while the others continued moving fish.
“You painted this?” Bruce asked. She nodded. “That’s fantastic. Are you showing it anywhere? I know a guy with a gallery — actually I know pretty much everyone with an art gallery in Gotham. I think I have a friend who’d really love this, if you don’t mind me making some calls for you.”
→→→
Four more employees had joined the menagerie.
“—almost always hiring in Gotham. People are always moving to cities with fewer evil clowns.” Everyone laughed. Tim snorted. “Employee insurance totally covers acts of supervillainy, though.”
→→→
[trying to crush the revolution]
The employees had not dispersed. In the distance, someone managerial was talking to Bruce. He looked much less amused than Bruce did.
→→→
[THEY CALLED THE COPS]
Tim had switched to the selfie camera, his face pure glee. He turned bodily to show the employees wheeling out tanks of fish out of the store, police lights in the parking lot.
“The manager tried to make Bruce leave but he insisted on paying for his fish and he wouldn’t stop giving people better jobs so the guy said it was corporate espionage and threatened to call the cops and Bruce called his bluff so he did it.”
→→→
[WE’RE BANNED FROM WALMART FOREVER]
Bruce was laughing with the police officers about something. The manager from earlier had been joined by men in suits. None of them looked happy. Some of the employees from earlier were yelling and flipping them off. One man pulled off the shirt of his uniform and started setting it on fire.
→→→
Bruce was on the phone in the parking lot.
“They’re small, most of them are tropical. You can figure out what they are when you get here. How is that racist? I’m not suggesting you already know them, I’m well aware you don’t personally know every single fish—”
→→→
“Either you take these fish or I toss them in the sewer and Killer Croc can eat them. It will be a merciful death compared to what they were getting. It doesn’t matter where I found them.”
→→→
[i’m not allowed near toxic waste]
Tim held the betta from earlier in front of his phone, bringing it dangerously close to Bruce’s face. Bruce had hung up, but seemed to be dialing another number.
“I’m keeping this one,” Tim said.
“Fine.”
“If I drop him in toxic waste do you think he’ll get powers?”
“We’ve already had this discussion.”
→→→
[the pettiest man in gotham]
Bruce was on the phone again, looking out at the empty field beside the Walmart parking lot.
“Yeah, just buy the whole thing. Yeah. Absolutely sure. Green Market’s doing good, we’ll build another one of those. Can we put up a billboard while it’s under construction? A really big billboard.”
→→→
“First of all, if it’s in writing, it’s libel. Second, figures taken directly from their report to shareholders aren’t defamatory. What’s the most they could even sue me for? See, that’s nothing. Bad PR for them, good for us, it's—”
→→→
Tim had switched to the selfie camera again, and was using a sparkling purple filter that made his eyes look huge. He backed into Bruce so that Bruce’s face would be in the shot. “Bruce, look! You’re a pretty pretty princess!”
Bruce raised an eyebrow as he looked at his face on the screen. “I’m always a pretty princess,” he said seriously.
→→→
[he picked the music this time]
Bruce was driving again. He was listening to 100 Little Curses without any apparent irony. This did not mean there wasn’t any irony.
→→→
[i named him wally]
The Walmart betta was now in a tank that held at least a hundred gallons. His underwater castle was resplendent. His tail had grown in, a shimmering gradient of red and blue. Bruce could be seen in the background through the tank, sitting on the couch and reading a book.
She kissed me back ?
this made me so happy
sorry everyone
Excuse me.
One of the first women to start her own independent production company.
Earned her way to stardom without sleeping with executives for roles.
Refused to date people for publicity just because 20th Century Fox wanted her to.
Left 20th Century Fox because she refused to let them get away with treating her badly and paying her a tiny wage, just because of her “dumb blonde” image.
Was only paid a fraction of her co-star’s wage even though she was the star of the movies and the biggest box office pull, but still went ahead with the movies because she was so passionate about acting.
Studied method acting at the Actors Studio with Lee Strasberg, who said that she was one of his best students along with Marlon Brando.
Had a personal library of over 500 books and rarely read fiction - she was desperate to learn and educate herself.
Was sexually abused as a child but then went on to encourage the sexual liberation of women in the 1950s.
One of the first people to speak openly about sexual abuse.
One of the first people to openly support gay rights.
Supported many charities such as the Milk Fund, March of Dimes, Arthritis and Rheumatism foundation.
Donated her time and money to these charities.
Visited orphanages and hospitals on her own time to surprise the people there.
Married one of the greatest literary minds of the 20th century
Suffered two miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy and still put on a brave face for her fans.
Sorry, did you say she wasn’t a role model?
marilyn is my biggest role model so don’t even go there
and let’s not forget this
Ella Fitzgerald was not allowed to play at the popular Mocambo, in Hollywood, because of her race. Marilyn, who loved her music and supported civil rights, called the owner of the Mocambo and told him that if he booked Ella immediately, she would take a front table every night. The owner said yes, and Marilyn was there, front table, every night. After that, Ella never had to play in a small jazz club again.
“She was an unusual woman – a little ahead of her times. And she didn’t know it.” - Ella Fitzgerald about Marilyn Monroe
But what does history remember her for?
