Scribbles, Swirls and Musings.

The formerly literary, now ridiculous fangirl blog of a secretary with far too big an imagination.

[cleverinternetkingdom]

People seem to not know how old writers are when they make their stories.

Stephanie Meyer wrote Twilight in 2003, at age 29

Cassandra Clare started writing Mortal Instruments in 2004, at age 31

Rick Riordan published Percy Jackson & the Olympians, the book about 12yrolds, at age 41

George R. R. Martin published A Game of Thrones, at age 48

You can't even use the "but fanfiction isn't real writing" argument because of how many fanfiction turn movies there is. They are clearly enough of a story to be made into published books.

Anna Renee Todd's After series was a Harry Styles fanfiction, which was published in 2014, when she was 25

E.L. James Fifty Shades of Grey series was a Twilight fanfiction, which was published in 2011, when she was 48

Mortal Instruments was a Harry Potter fanfiction.

Why must they act like After someone turns 20 their life ends, like people can't have hobbies???

[senlinyu]

Adults are also responsible for creating all the tv shows they watch.

[angrywarrior69]

Wait until they find out adults make things like Cocomelon and Rugrats

[fuwaprince]

US Helplines:

Depression Hotline: [phone]

Suicide Hotline: [phone]

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: [phone]

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail [email protected]

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected]

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 [email protected]

b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected]

b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: [email protected]

Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600

Drinkline: 0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected]

Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

India Self Harm Hotline: [phone]

India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669

Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868

FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:

Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430

Australia: 13-11-14

Austria: 01-713-3374

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Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908

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Finland: 040-5032199

France: 01-45-39-4000

Germany: 0800-181-0721

Greece: 1018

Guatemala: 502-234-1239

Holland: 0900-0767

Honduras: 504-237-3623

Hungary: 06-80-820-111

Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90

Israel: 09-8892333

Italy: 06-705-4444

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(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)

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Russia: 8-20-222-82-10

Spain: 91-459-00-50

South Africa: 0861-322-322

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Switzerland: 143

Taiwan: 0800-788-995

Thailand: 02-249-9977

Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800

Ukraine: 0487-327715

(Source)

[uie-deactivated20230402]

ALWAYS REBLOG WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS PLEASE; ITS SO MUCH MORE THAN IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE. IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO SOMEBODY AND EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT SEE THIS IN THE SAME LIGHT, SOMEONE MIGHT. INFACT YOU REBLOGGING THIS COULD STOP SOMEONE TAKING THEIR LIFE TONIGHT.

[kitten--aesthetics-blog]

I noticed there isn’t one here for Ireland, so

Irish free suicide helpline: 01-116 123

[thescientificviolist]

last time i reblogged this, i got this ask:

so please, please reblog. this could actually save a life.

[ur-local-pair-of-binoculars-dea]

Check the notes, some people have added hotlines that aren’t listed here.

[fan-girl-2]

These numbers are important to know! They have saved my life more times than I want to admit. And if you don’t want to call these hotlines, message me! I will help you any way that I can. Or talk to someone that you can trust.

SOMEONE WILL BE THERE FOR YOU 💗

[clericallyinsane]

trans suicide prevention hotline: [phone]

canada: 833-456-4566

[77ihavelemonade77]

i didn’t see one for slovakia so

0800-800-566 (adults)

0800-500-333 (youth)

116111 (youth and kids)

[creepy-spooghetti]

Be strong, keep fighting a little longer. You can get through this. I believe in you.

[yanteetle]

Always reblog these, I needed the suicide help hotline once and someone out there might need it too.

[tinywafflerat]

wow

[dduane]

And this isn’t some random “oh how nice, this is a good PSA, I should reblog it” thing, either.

You are needed in this world. You. Please hang in there and don’t go anywhere. (Doesn’t matter that I don’t know you personally. It’s still true.)

[theclonewriter-blog]

“This is your daily, friendly reminder to use commas instead of periods during the dialogue of your story,” she said with a smile.

[onewordtest]

“Unless you are following the dialogue with an action and not a dialogue tag.” He took a deep breath and sat back down after making the clarifying statement. 

[joehywheelah]

“However,” she added, shifting in her seat, “it’s appropriate to use a comma if there’s action in the middle of a sentence.”

[tenoko1]

“True.” She glanced at the others. “You can also end with a period if you include an action between two separate statements.”

[cj-amused]

Things I didn’t know

[prismatic-bell]

“And–” she waved a pen as though to underline her statement–“if you’re interrupting a sentence with an action, you need to type two hyphens to make an en-dash.”

[yobaba2point0-deactivated201902]

Let the Record Show

Let the record show that I did not consent to this. Let it show that I did not vote for this man, that he did not represent me, that I did not believe he was deserving of being here, that I grieved…

Let the record show that I did not consent to this.

Let it show that I did not vote for this man, that he did/does not represent me, that I do not believe he was deserving of being here, that I grieved his ascension.

Let History record my objection to him, to the ways he humiliated women and vilified Muslims and threatened protestors and disregarded people of color.

Let it record my repulsion at his tremendous cruelty, his lack of compassion, his contempt for dissension, his absence of simple decency.

Let witnesses mark down my disgust at the way he boasted of infidelity, at how he ridiculed a disabled reporter, at the way he attacked female opponents for their appearance, at the way he marginalized immigrants.

Let it be remembered that I did not look the other way when women accused him of assault, when the reality of his Russian alliances came to light, when he refused to share his tax records—though large portions of the American media and its people chose to.  

Let it be remembered that I did not buy into the fear that he perpetuated of those with brown skin or hijabs or foreign birthplaces.

Let the record show that I looked on with disbelief as he spent countless early morning and middle-of-the-night hours following the election on social media, broadcasting a steady stream of petulant, insecure, incoherent messages instead of preparing to do a job he was ill-equipped for and seemingly not all that interested in.

Let the record show that I watched him assemble a Cabinet of billionaires and bigots, of people woefully unqualified to steward our children, our safety, our healthcare, our financial stability—and that I was horrified by it all.

Let it be remembered that my faith would not allow me to fall in line behind this man while so many professed religious people did; that I saw nothing resembling Jesus in him, and that to declare him Christian would have been to toss aside everything I grew up believing faith in Christ manifested in a life.  

Let History record my grieving at the racism and bigotry and homophobia that characterized his campaign, marked his supporters, and is evident in his assembling Administration.

Let it be known that I was one of the more than 65 million people who voted for Hillary Clinton; who understood that though flawed, she was an intelligent, experienced, passionate public servant with the temperament, commitment, and qualifications to lead and lead well.

Let the record show that I greatly lamented the day of his inauguration, and that I promised to join together with other good people to loudly resist and oppose every unscrupulous, dangerous, unjust and dishonest act this new Administration engages in.

History has been littered with horrible people who did terrible things with power, because too many good people remained silent. And since my fear is that we are surely entering one of those periods in our story, I wanted to make sure that I was recorded for posterity:

I do not believe this man is normal. I do not believe he is emotionally stable. I do not believe he cares about the full, beautiful diversity of America. I do not believe he respects women. I do not believe he is pro-life other than his own. I do not believe the sick and the poor and the hurting matter to him in the slightest. I do not believe he is a man of faith or integrity or nobility. I do not believe his concern is for anything outside his reflection in the mirror.

I believe he is a danger to our children. I believe he is a threat to our safety. I believe he is careless with our people. I believe he is reckless with his power. I believe America will be less secure, less diverse, less compassionate, and less decent under his leadership.

And if I prove to be wrong, it will be one of the most joyful errors of my life. I will own these words and if necessary, willingly and gladly admit my misjudgment because it will mean that America is a better and stronger nation, and the world a more peaceful place.

But right now I don’t see that happening.

Right now I am worried for my country, concerned for our planet, scared for the future of my children, and greatly saddened that 62 million Americans seem okay with all of this.

Let the record show that I was and am not okay with it.

Not at all.

[iwishtoremainanoym]

Anyone following me, please reblog this. It needs to have a much higher view than this. 

[the-pen-pot]

I am not American, but I still feel the need to reblog this. The rise of the far right, the loss of compassion in leadership and the unacceptable bigotry that has been validated by the results of many political elections recently is a global problem.

[xistentialangst]

The Problem with BBC Sherlock – of Terrible Themes, Abuse, and Tragic Gays

Here’s my first essay on my thoughts on S4.

I’ve been digesting the shock and sense of “wrongness” after THE FINAL PROBLEM, and I’ve come up with some ideas on why it bothers me so deeply. It has to do with themes. Every good story has a theme. It might be “love conquers all” or “the bad guys always lose” or “truth always comes out”. The themes of the show after S4 are truly repellent.

1.       The THEMES after S4:

a.       No matter what you do or sacrifice, it’s never good enough and you won’t win your heart’s desire in the end.

b.      It’s okay to abuse to your loved ones, it’s completely forgiveable, and, in fact, the most abusive people win.

c.       Lying and killing people is okay and you can still be a good person.

HOW THIS IS DEMONSTRATED:

2.       SHERLOCK sacrifices himself over and over for very little reward and a lot of abuse.

a.       First, Reichenbach Falls. He jumps in order to save John, Lestrade, and Mrs. Hudson from snipers.  He goes off to dismantle Moriarty’s network, in part to keep them safe. Yes, he hurts John terribly. And yes, it was a mistake. But ultimately, Sherlock still did it for his friends. This is never explicitly discussed or acknowledged in the show between John and Sherlock after Sherlock returns. John never learns what Sherlock went through or says thank you. In fact, the “bomb” scene in S3.E1, Sherlock tricks John into forgiving him only to make a joke out of the whole thing. This is too serious a situation to joke about, yet a real resolution of this conflict is never shown. By S4.E2, it’s clear John still harbors anger over it. Never resolved.

b.      Sherlock plans John’s wedding and is his best man. If you read that Sherlock is gay and in unrequited love with John, this is a tremendous self-sacrifice. Even if you don’t, it’s still a sacrifice—Sherlock is not a party type. He hates social gatherings. Yet he does this for John. John never appears grateful. At the end of the wedding, we have Sherlock walking away alone and (probably) heartbroken.

c.       Sherlock is shot by Mary—and then forgives her, for John. This is almost incomprehensible, but nevertheless,  Sherlock catches John’s wife, Mary, in a lie, offers to help her, and she shoots him in the chest. He dies on the operating table. He comes back through superhuman effort. Mary threatens him again, twice. Yet he forgives her and tries to patch things up between her and John. Why? Because that’s what self-sacrificing friends do? Is this Stockholm Syndrome? Self-loathing? Never explained.

d.      Sherlock kills Magnussen to protect Mary. This was basically an act of suicide. But he did it – for his friends. Neither John nor Mary ever acknowledge this. In fact, in S4.E2, John tells Greg they should have known Sherlock was psycho because “he shot a man in the face” (yes, John, to save you. asshole)

e.      Sherlock again tries to help Mary when her past comes after her (S4.E1), and in the end, Mary throws herself in front of a bullet for him. Ok. Weird but OK. Afterwards, John blames Sherlock for it and casts Sherlock out of his life in a hateful way (again, breaking Sherlock’s heart when Sherlock did nothing wrong).

f.        Sherlock goes back on drugs and nearly dies confronting serial killer Culverton in S4.E2. At the end we find out it was all done to “save John Watson” from his grief. So once again, Sherlock nearly dies for John. And during E2 John treats Sherlock horribly, even going so far as to beat and kick him in a brutal attack.

g.       S4.E3 – Sherlock  battles with Euros to save John. There’s really no appreciation or recognition of this in the end.

SO – what does Sherlock ever get for his repeated sacrifice and pain? For getting shot, tortured, and beaten? For having his heart ripped out and watching the man he loves choose someone else?  He gets a John Watson who seems oblivious to what Sherlock does for him, is in love with his wife and cheating with another woman, is furious with Sherlock and treats him like shit after his assassin wife dies, and beats Sherlock. John finally does come back to Sherlock, but only in the capacity of a friend. More on this below.

3.       MARY – the lying assassin gets all the rewards and a Mary Sue make-over

a.       She pretends to be a nurse at a clinic, befriends John Watson at his lowest point after Sherlock’s death, and he marries her.  Given what he know about her past, surely she didn’t’ just coincidentally end up in John Watson’s path, yet it’s never explained by what deceit and plotting she found him.

b.      She has a secret past as a freelance assassin. Though it’s played up that her past was “very naughty” (Magnussen S3.E3), later in the show she’s whitewashed as being part of a mercenary team that did things like extract hostages. She lied to John about who she was and used a fake name.

c.       She shoots and murders Sherlock – and gets away with it completely. Both John and Sherlock  forgive her! She faces no prosecution and no penalty even from Mycroft or Lestrade, two of Sherlock’s protectes. This is never explained. She never even  says “I’m sorry” or justifies the shooting, not until long after she’s been forgiven and everything’s been swell for her.

d.      Sherlock remains “bffs” with her after this, calling her “his family” and trying to help her when her past comes back to haunt her.

e.      Even in her best moments, she’s manipulative and selfish. For example, she insults John’s value to Sherlock and refuses to let her husband have any say in naming the baby. In fact, she names the baby after herself and announces the name to a room full of friends without discussing it with her husband first. There are a lot of instances like this.

f.        She has an extremely implausible redemption arc when she throws herself into a bullet for Sherlock. Not only does it defy all logic and physics, it’s just dumb and corny.

g.       John is grief stricken for a whole episode. Mary constantly appears as a sort of “Yoda” ghost, uttering words of wisdom and continuing to be whitewashed as some sort of wise woman who retains the role of arbitrator over John and Sherlock’s relationship, as if it’s up to her to validate it. 

h.      SHE NEVER PAYS FOR HER ASSASSIN PAST, LYING TO JOHN, OR KILLING SHERLOCK. The audience is expected to continue to welcome the cloying presence of this killer. And so much about her remains unexplained.

 4.       JOHN WATSON LOSES HIS CHARACTER ARC AND HIS AGENCY

a.       Despite the promising claims that “he’s smarter than he looks” in TAB, John Watson in S4 continues to be clueless. He keeps refusing to see how good Sherlock is and how much Sherlock is trying to help him and Mary. 

b.      John’s wife shoots Sherlock in S3 and John forgives her? How is this possible for a “strong moral principle” man who shot a stranger to save Sherlock in S1.E1? Who punched a police chief who insulted Sherlock in S2.E3?  He’s a doctor, he knew Sherlock’s wound from Mary was basically fatal! On top of this, we have a man who goes to a therapist for “trust issues” who forgives his wife for lying to him from day 1, and he’s okay with not ever knowing her real name? Honestly?

c.       John is bored but seems complacent in his marriage to Mary in S4.E1. But it’s not clear. Does he not notice the way she manipulates him, such as with the baby’s name?  He certainly seems grief-stricken after her death. If he’s really not happy in his marriage, why not make that explicit? Or vice versa? He never says “I love you” to Mary and yet, there’s no reason to withhold it since he never ends up saying it to Sherlock either. It’s just super confusing what he feels for her or for Sherlock. Basically, he seems grief-stricken. Mostly.

d.      Trashcan John. The first time another woman flirts with him, he begins a sexting affair, despite having a wife and infant at home. This is John who is “unfailingly loyal?” If it would have been a plot point, such as him being miserable with Mary, it would have been more justified. But he did it and then he’s also grief-stricken when Mary dies. Inconsistent.

e.      After Mary dies, John treats Sherlock abysmally, shuts him out, insults him, calls him a monster, accuses him of tricks, etc. to the point of physically beating Sherlock when Sherlock is drugged up and ill. This is the man who has repeatedly sacrificed himself for John. And Sherlock did nothing to deserve this abuse since he was not responsible for Mary’s death.

f.        In S4. E3, The Final Problem, John is used as more of a set piece than anything real. He helps solve the “puzzles” at the fortress, but on an emotional level there doesn’t seem to be much there.

g.       A real arc for this story would be that John finally sees/ acknowledges all that Sherlock had done for him, and/or sacrifices himself in return (like a 3 Garridebs moment). But this never happens. There is no satisfying resolution to this relationship plotline. Yes, at the end of S4.E2 John and Sherlock finally talk, John seems to forgive Sherlock, and there’s a hug. But that’s pretty minor stuff compared to all that Sherlock has done for John and feels for John and all John and Mary did to hurt Sherlock. 

h.      Even though John is technically “back at Baker Street” at the end of S4, it’s only in the capacity of a friend. In addition, John basically “defaults back” to Sherlock because he no longer has Mary.  There is no moment where John has to actively “choose” Sherlock, over Mary or even at all. THIS IS LAZY WRITING, NOT A SATISFYING RESOLUTION.

5.       GAYNESS REMAINS “TERRIBLY UNSPOKEN”

a.       This is one of the biggest crimes of the show. What we get in the end of S4 is a gay Sherlock in unrequited (desperately unspoken) love with John, a love that will seemingly never be returned. Is this 1998? Why do we have a tragic anti-gay ending like this in 2017?? It’s nearly as bad as just killing off all the gays. (Or making them all villains, which the show has also done – Irene, Moriarty, Magnussen in the hospital, and Euros).

b.      It could be argued that Sherlock is not gay, that he’s asexual, or even in love with Irene. Yet the show planted many, many clues that Sherlock is gay and in love with John.

                                                               i.      In ASiB, Sherlock repeatedly ignores or pushes off Irenes heavy advances. When he ‘wakes up’ at one point when she’s sitting across from him, his first words are “Where’s John?”

                                                             ii.      Janine says several times “I know what kind of man you are”. Even in “faking” a relationship with her, Sherlock never had sex with her (he jokes “I was waiting until we were married.”)

                                                            iii.      Sherlock’s horribly pained look at John after the wedding , and then he leaves the wedding early.

                                                           iv.      TAB, in which Sherlock confronts very gay-acting mind-palace Moriarty, facing his own homosexuality.

                                                             v.      See Sherlock’s many sacrifices for John. If that isn’t love, nothing is.

                                                           vi.      Sherlock spirals into despair and drugs whenever John abandons him.

                                                          vii.      Mary says on the DVD in S4.E2 that John is “the man we both love”.

                                                        viii.      Many, many other instances.  

c.       John is ambiguously bisexual earlier in the show then becomes strictly hetero. He flirts with Sherlock in ASiP, is horribly jealous of Irene and Janine in ASiB and HLV. Irene, whose specialty is “knowing what people like” tells John he and Sherlock are a couple. John has an implied intimate relationship with his former male commander, Sholto. In a deleted scene, he flirts with a soldier at Baskerville. There’s some drunken knee-groping during the bachelor party in TSoS. However, during all of S4, any sign of this flirty and possibly-bi John has been removed and his heterosexuality is “doubled down”. Why? To avoid any hint that he might get together with Sherlock at the end? 

d.      Sherlock never even admits outloud that he’s gay, not even obliquely. Why? Is it something to be ashamed about? Do we not deserve a gay hero? If they really intended to leave it open-ended what Sherlock was, why did they plant so much of the above evidence that he was gay? If he is gay, why not have him admit it!

 e. This all amounts to a huge queerbaiting exercise, given how many subtextural and textural clues we were given in S1-S3 that this was ulimately a romance. 

These are my thoughts on the story so far. I’ll try to update this with some pics later.

XA

[cumberbatchitis]

Cannot agree on too many points.

Too many of them build on what you perceive as a FACT - ie. that John and Sherlock are bisexual/gay. But that was just one reading among many and over the years Moffat and Gatiss stated clearly it was not the case in this adaptation. And that is clearly the reason Sherlock never admits he is gay. Not because it is a bloody crime, but because was not written as such. The list of “clues” you provide at the very end is based on very one-sided view of the show and although the view is very popular on Tumblr, it stands on clay feet and very much relies on wishful thinking and ignoring context.  Sherlock refuses advances from women (or pretty much anyone) because he is (as stated by himself and the creators) not interested in sex. He views his body as an inconvenience and simply will not engage. Janine either understands this on some level, or she (possibly) considers him gay, but Janine is easily fooled and in no way a reliable narrator.  (Of course, there is a possibility he had sex with Irene Adler. Personally, I doubt it, but I am not opposed to it completely. Yet I can see how it would infuriate many. On the other hand, Sherlock Holmes in TPLOSH does have strong sentimental ties to Irene Adler… and a dead female fiance to whom he might felt a great degree of attachment, though that is a fact that seems to be taboo on this site.)  As for Sherlock’s “horribly pained look”, again the answer is there in the show: it is an end of an era. The life as he came to love it (ie. adventurous life with his best friend who accepts him like nobody else) is likely over, as he forsees John will prefer his wife and child now. His worries are only partly justified (because John indeed is bored in the peaceful suburbs and not happy to be just a husband and a GP), but the pain and abandon he must have felt were no less real. Besides, Sherlock does not slump into addiction every time John “leaves him”, or rather - not because he is pining in a romantic way. Not to dispute the importance of John (because he is tremendously important to Sherlock), but on these occasions other reasons were involved (Sherlock wanting to fool Magnusson, wrecking himself to save John, helping himself to solve the cases). Again, I do not dispute his despair over the possibility of losing John, but on the other hand… he is willing to slip into the habit over more feeble reasons, such as boredom. In THoB and T6T he even states he does not need the cigarettes/drugs now, because hoorah, case! Ignoring this context and focusing only on the “losing John” part only leads to false conclusions.  Also, reading John as bisexual is indeed popular - but why? John ever truly shows sexual attraction to women (Anthea, non-Anthea, Mary, Sarah, various girlfriends), so the fandom cannot easily label him as gay. But if you want to carry on the legend he is gay for Sherlock, you need to make him bisexual. And this “need” is the only reason people are painstakingly seeking for any clues, and let’s admit the show does not give you many. Flirting in ASiP? I know this idea is very dear to a great part of the fandom, but if you look at the scene as it really is, John does not flirt. He is talking to a future flatmate (or rather trying to, since Sherlock is not paying attention; besides, think what you want, but it is rather good to know if your flatmate has a significant other - simply for practical reasons) and when Sherlock shows disinterest in girlfriends, John automatically perceives him gay and hurries to assure him he is fine with it - which leads to Sherlock wondering whether John isn’t suggesting something else. Yet John denies that, period.  This scene has been dissected so many times, it all comes down to the fact that John confirms his straightness and Sherlock his disinterested in sexual matters.  Moffat and Gatiss themselves said they saw it that way and that they touched the subject because in modern times it indeed is strange for two men to live together without making others at least think they are gay (Ms. Hudson is a great example of that). I personally think it would be unnatural if nobody in the show ever mentioned the possibility. And they indeed do and you know what, I have always found it very comforting. There was never any “ew, they might be gays!” moment, Mrs. Hudson and the inkeeper etc. always treated their perceived relationship as totally fine. (Because there is nothing wrong about Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson loving each other… except it was not intended for this version, as the creators have said so many times.)  Also, the “groping” in TSoT? You can bloody see John is sliding down his chair and he wants to steady himself. And that is what he does, he pulls himself up whilst leaning on Sherlock’s knee. I suppose what people rather want to focus on is the fact that John himself finds it a bit awkward (blokes do not touch each other’s knees, har har! - a pretty unhealthy sentiment, yet sadly prevalent and quite fitting to John’s slightly macho character), but that is pretty much it. But again, people are hungry for (and I can understand that, I want to see it too) And affair with Sholto? Please! There was never any indication of that, ever! Two men (former comrades in arms, too!) show each other deep respect, friendship and loyalty, but that simply does not equal affair. Or yeah, it does… if you don on shipping goggles. But in no other way. Yet I understand many wish to don them, because there are certain parallels between Sholto and Sherlock, so seeing Sholto as John’s love interest “reconfirms” the validity of johnlock. But that is not the way reasoning works.  (And deleted flirting scene from THoB? Funny I hear about that for the first time ever.) If anything, this Sholto argument is something that really bugs me, because any strong friendship, any warm friendliness toward among men is immediately labelled as gay (which, sadly, still equals “wrong” to many). I am a lesbian myself and I love seeing some gay representation in popular culture, but this attitude I find terribly unhealthy, as I think it only leads to straight men getting even more insecure about expressing any tender feeling they might feel to each other. And when I say tender, I mean pretty much anything - friendship, sympathy, worry… All of that. Same for the “Mary says ‘love’” argument. Yes, she does say the word “love”. And so does Sherlock during his wedding speeches. But the wedding guests do not start whispering and pointing, they are not surprised or taken aback. They understand the word in the sense it was mean: you are very dear to me, your presence in my life is very important - I simply love you (non-sexually, non-romantically - at least if we define “romantic” as “I can only ever see you as the person I want to spend the rest of my life with”, which IMO seems closest to the way johnlock is perceived in the romantic sense. To me personally, “romantic” is a more complex word and does not need to involve partnership at all.) However, what I view as most striking is the “If that isn’t love, nothing is.” argument. I do not doubt for a second they love each other, but is it really so inconceivable that people would feel such strong attachment (”love”) to each other, yet did not need to express it in a sexual/romantic way (as described above)? This invalidates so many deep friendships, so many tender feelings people have… For the love of God… I am a gay woman and a johnlock shipper and all, but the way this fandom turns heterosexuality into a crime and accuses creators of one of the best modern TV shows of homophobic attitude just because they did not conform to your views and kept telling the story the way they wanted (again, over the years they disclosed many times that they do not see John and Sherlock in a gay relationship)… honestly, it leaves me wondering if there even is a chance for some peaceful conclusion. There are too many emotions involved,  everyone who disagrees with the dogma is immediately guilty of “toxic heteronormativity” and being “homophobic” and gets loads of hate… and everybody is happy and eager to create an alternative reality where Moffat/Gatiss/ BBC are the villains who axed johnlock for money. Seriously. no.

(Note: I am not even elaborating on the idea of a “good person” theme, because I do not really think creators are trying to prove anything like that.)

[bidisasterhawkeye]

Bravo @cumberbatchitis, just bravo.

[hawkasss]

“Extremely detailed character sheet template”

[squishywritesarchive]

eugenefeed:

Character Chart Character’s full name: Reason or meaning of name: Character’s nickname: Reason for nickname: Birth date: Physical Appearance Age: How old does he/she appear: Weight: Height: Body build: Shape of face: Eye color: Glasses or contacts: Skin tone: Distinguishing marks: Predominant features: Hair color: Type of hair: Hairstyle: Voice: Overall attractiveness: Physical disabilities: Usual fashion of dress: Favorite outfit: Jewelry or accessories: Personality Good personality traits: Bad personality traits: Mood character is most often in: Sense of humor: Character’s greatest joy in life: Character’s greatest fear: Why? What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Character is most at ease when: Most ill at ease when: Enraged when: Depressed or sad when: Priorities: Life philosophy: If granted one wish, it would be: Why? Character’s soft spot: Is this soft spot obvious to others? Greatest strength: Greatest vulnerability or weakness: Biggest regret: Minor regret: Biggest accomplishment: Minor accomplishment: Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: Why? Character’s darkest secret: Does anyone else know? Goals Drives and motivations: Immediate goals: Long term goals: How the character plans to accomplish these goals: How other characters will be affected: Past Hometown: Type of childhood: Pets: First memory: Most important childhood memory: Why: Childhood hero: Dream job: Education: Religion: Finances: Present Current location: Currently living with: Pets: Religion: Occupation: Finances: Family Mother: Relationship with her: Father: Relationship with him: Siblings: Relationship with them: Spouse: Relationship with him/her: Children: Relationship with them: Other important family members: Favorites Color: Least favorite color: Music: Food: Literature: Form of entertainment: Expressions: Mode of transportation: Most prized possession: Habits Hobbies: Plays a musical instrument? Plays a sport? How he/she would spend a rainy day: Spending habits: Smokes: Drinks: Other drugs: What does he/she do too much of? What does he/she do too little of? Extremely skilled at: Extremely unskilled at: Nervous tics: Usual body posture: Mannerisms: Peculiarities: Traits Optimist or pessimist? Introvert or extrovert? Daredevil or cautious? Logical or emotional? Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Prefers working or relaxing? Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Animal lover? Self-Perception How he/she feels about himself/herself: One word the character would use to describe self: One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? How does the character think others perceive him/her: What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: Relationships With Others Opinion of other people in general: Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? Person character most hates: Best friend(s): Love interest(s): Person character goes to for advice: Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Person character feels shy or awkward around: Person character openly admires: Person character secretly admires: Most important person in character’s life before story starts: After story starts:

Found Here

[living-in-headcanon]

@vcook10 Another character sheet you might like <3

[virtualclutter-deactivated20201]

Hair washing and care in the the 19th century

Hair washing is something that almost every historical writer, romance or not, gets wrong. How many times have you read a story in which a heroine sinks gratefully into a sudsy tub of water and scrubs her hair–or, even worse, piles it up on her head to wash it? Or have you watched the BBC’s Manor House and other “historical reenactment” series, in which modern people invariably destroy their hair by washing using historical recipes?

Historical women kept their hair clean, but that doesn’t mean their hair was often directly washed. Those who had incredibly difficult to manage hair might employ a hairdresser to help them wash, cut, and singe (yes, singe!) their hair as often as once a month, but for most women, hair-washing was, at most, a seasonal activity.

“Why?” you might ask. “Wasn’t their hair lank, smelly, and nasty?”

And the writers who embrace ignorance as a badge of honor will say, “Well, that just goes to show that people used to be gross and dirty, and that’s why I never bother with that historical accuracy stuff!”

And then I have to restrain myself from hitting them…

The reason that hair was rarely washed has to do with the nature of soaps versus modern shampoos. Soaps are made from a lye base and are alkaline. Hair and shampoo are acidic. Washing hair in soap makes it very dry, brittle, and tangly. Men’s hair was short enough and cut often enough that using soap didn’t harm it too much and the natural oils from the scalp could re-moisturize it fairly easily after even the harshest treatment, but in an age when the average woman’s hair was down to her waist, soap could literally destroy a woman’s head of hair in fairly short order.

Instead, indirect methods of hair-cleaning were used. Women washed their hair brushes daily, and the proverbial “100 strokes” were used to spread conditioning oils from roots to tips and to remove older or excess oil and dirt. This was more time-consuming than modern washing, and this is one of the reasons that “good hair” was a class marker. The fact that only women of the upper classes could afford all the various rats, rolls, and other fake additions to bulk out their real hair was another. (An average Victorian woman of the upper middle or upper class had more apparent “hair” in her hairstyle than women I know whose unbound hair falls well below their knees.) Women rarely wore their hair lose unless it was in the process of being put up or taken down–or unless they were having a picture specifically taken of it! At night, most women braided their hair for bed. Now that my hair is well below my waist, I understand why!

The first modern shampoo was introduced in the late 1920s. Shampoos clean hair quickly and also remove modern styling products, like hairspray and gel, but the frequent hair-washing that has become common leaves longer hair brittle even with the best modern formulations. (From the 1940s to the 1960s, many if not most middle-class women had their hair washed only once a week, at their hairdresser’s, where it was restyled for the next week. The professional hairdresser stepped into the void that the maid left when domestic service became rare. Washing one’s hair daily or every other day is a very recent development.) That’s where conditioners came into play. Many people have wondered how on earth women could have nice hair by modern standards before conditioners, but conditioners are made necessary by shampoos. Well-maintained hair of the 19th century didn’t need conditioners because the oils weren’t regularly stripped from it.

Additionally, the oils made hair much more manageable than most people’s is today, which made it possible for women to obtain elaborate hairstyles using combs and pins–without modern clips or sprays–to keep their hair in place. This is why hair dressers still like to work with “day-old” hair when making elaborate hairstyles.

There were hair products like oils for women to add shine and powders meant to help brush dirt out of hair, but they weren’t in very wide use at the time. Hair “tonics”–mean to be put on the hair or taken orally to make hair shinier, thicker, or stronger–were ineffective but were readily available and widely marketed.

If you have a heroine go through something particularly nasty–such as a fall into a pond or the like–then she should wash her hair, by all means. This would be done in a tub prepared for the purpose–not in the bath–and would involve dissolving soap shavings into a water and combine them with whatever other products were desired. Then a maid would wash the woman’s hair as she leaned either forward or backward to thoroughly wet and wash her hair. Rinsing would be another stage. The hair would NEVER be piled on the head. If you have greater than waist-length hair and have ever tried to wash it in a modern-sized bathtub, you understand why no one attempted to wash her hair in a hip bath or an old, short claw foot tub! It would be almost impossible.

A quick rundown of other hair facts:

Hydrogen peroxide was used to bleach hair from 1867. Before that, trying to bleach it with soda ash and sunlight was the most a girl could do. Henna was extremely popular from the 1870s through the 1890s, especially for covering gray hair, to such an extent that gray hair became almost unseen in certain circles in England in this time. Red hair was considered ugly up until the 1860s, when the public embracing of the feminine images as presented by the aesthetic movement (Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood) gained ground, culminating in a positive rage for red hair in the 1870s to 1880s. Some truly scary metallic salt compounds were used to color hair with henna formulations by the late 19th century, often with unfortunate results.

Hair curling was popular in the 19th century and could either by achieved with rag rolls or hot tongs. Loose “sausage” rolls were the result of rag rolling. Hot tongs were used for making the “frizzled” bangs of the 1870s to 1880s–and “frizzled” they certainly were. The damage caused by the poor control of heating a curler over a gas jet or candle flame was substantial, and most women suffered burnt hair at one time or another. For this reason, a number of women chose to eschew the popular style and preserve their hair from such dangers! Permanents were first in use in the 1930s.  

(From: http://www.lydiajoyce.com/blog/?p=1022)

[jessamygriffin]

Amazing post, thank you!

[eye-of-orion]

I see a lot of posts going around talking about the need to be critical of fanfic, and how we gotta watch out for the messages we’re sending

Well, here’s one thing I’m gonna need us to be critical about:

Every statistic I’ve ever seen says fanfic authors are heavily female (or nb)

And Tumblr, which is a fairly US-centric cross-section of fandom, is filled with this discourse about fanfic writers who create pornography

I need us to stop and think about why we’ve decided that fictional sex is the most damaging thing anyone could ever find on the internet

I need us to think about the culture we live in, which encourages us to be sexually available (to straight men) but punishes us if we (sluts) enjoy it

Because here’s the thing: fanfic is not coming from a position of power and prestige in our society

It is a niche genre primarily written by women, for women, for free

And it is a place where many of us do find power in exploring our own sexuality (or asexuality)

Even when that exploration takes us to gritty, horrifying (or cathartic) places

I’m going to need us to think long and hard about why we’re prioritizing fictional characters over the needs of real women

And I’m going to need it to stop

[lucymonster]

Fandom purity wank is absolutely about control over women and women’s sexuality. There’s nothing ambiguous about it.

Just think about the hot-button issues in the fannish community, the topics that consistently and reliably get people worked up into a lather, the themes that provoke the nastiest conflicts and inspire the most dedicated resistance movements. Think about the fights that are most likely to spill out over their cyber boundaries and start affecting people in the real world - in public harassment at cons, in doxxing and ‘outing’ to family and employers, in malicious legal allegations.

It’s about sex. It’s always about sex. 

From the constant tantrums over ‘problematic’ shipping to the righteous doxxing of ‘pedophiles’ (which in current tumblr parlance means anyone who draws or writes canonically underage characters in romantic or erotic scenarios), fandom’s big efforts at moral reform always seem to revolve around restricting and controlling the sexual expression of the majority-women community. You won’t meet many people who stay up past their bedtime to scream at strangers on the internet about unethical portrayals of non-sexual violence - unless, of course, they suspect the women involved in its creation are getting off on it. You’ll struggle to find an anti blog dedicated to the insidious social ills of torture whump fic, or goopy hurt-comfort where all manner of human suffering is put on display for the viewer’s enjoyment. The purity crew dress up their agenda as a desire for collective self-improvement and raised moral standards, but they don’t seem too worried about aspects of public morality that don’t somehow tie back into sex. What they’re upset about is the same thing conservative minds have been upset about since basically the dawn of time - there are women out there in the world doing icky sex things without the permission of their communities.

And these people, these moral guardians, they’ve gotten really good at couching their fundamentalist views in progressive language. They don’t say ‘you’re to blame if you provoke men to rape’ - they say ‘your fic normalises sexual violence and contributes to rape culture’. They don’t say ‘women ought to be chaste’ - they say ‘your fantasies are socially harmful and you owe it to the world to be more self-critical’. The messages are the same and the desired outcomes are literally identical.

The core assumption underlying all of it - an assumption that I’m sure our puritan forebears would find deeply comforting - is that women’s sexual expression is a matter of public concern, and that women are directly responsible for upholding the moral standards of their communities by restricting themselves to a narrow repertoire of publicly controlled, socially condoned sexual outlets. Anything beyond that repertoire is a grave moral breach.

To anyone who’s reading this - and there’s always a few - thinking, “this is just deflection! [X hot-button topic] is really bad and harmful!’, I’d like to encourage you to sit back for just a moment and think about why it is, exactly, that you feel the best and most important place to wage your war against moral corruption is in one of the only pockets of popular media that women unequivocally control. Of all the spaces in the world where you could be fighting for your view of a better society, you’ve chosen a place where women come together to share the fantasies that mainstream culture refuses to let them indulge. Why?

[esteefee]

“…women come together to share the fantasies that mainstream culture refuses to let them indulge.”

I was just telling a friend of mine I attribute my (fortunate) comfort with my own sexuality to a chance encounter, at a very young age, with a paperback titled “My Secret Garden: Women’s Sexual Fantasies,” by Nancy Friday. Found it in a stack of mystery novels, and man, I remember blushing so hard… It was reading all these fantasies other women had that normalized what, at that young age, I considered to be pretty extreme desires, all in the context of this authority saying, “Anything you fantasize in the privacy of your own head is perfectly natural and okay.”   She asked hundreds of women to share these fantasies so that others could read them and see we aren’t alone; most everyone has these thoughts and fantasies and desires, and that’s perfectly fine.  Since then, I’ve discovered fan fiction as a whole universe of people’s fantasies writ large, and goddamn it, that is perfectly fine. Anyone who wants to argue the point and try to stuff us all back into the cramped cupboard of shame should have a talk with Ms. Friday. I believe she’s still around.

[naity-sama]

Some words to use when writing things:

winking

clenching

pulsing

fluttering

contracting

twitching

sucking

quivering

pulsating

throbbing

beating

thumping

thudding

pounding

humming

palpitate

vibrate

grinding

crushing

hammering

lashing

knocking

driving

thrusting

pushing

force

injecting

filling

dilate

stretching

lingering

expanding

bouncing

reaming

elongate

enlarge

unfolding

yielding

sternly

firmly

tightly 

harshly

thoroughly

consistently

precision

accuracy

carefully

demanding

strictly

restriction

meticulously

scrupulously

rigorously

rim

edge

lip

circle

band

encircling

enclosing

surrounding

piercing

curl

lock

twist

coil

spiral

whorl

dip

wet

soak

madly

wildly

noisily

rowdily

rambunctiously

decadent

degenerate

immoral

indulgent

accept

take

invite

nook

indentation

niche

depression

indent

depress

delay

tossing

writhing

flailing

squirming

rolling

wriggling

wiggling

thrashing

struggling

grappling

striving

straining

Appetite -  craving, demand, gluttony, greed, hunger, inclination, insatiable, longing, lust, passion, ravenousness, relish, taste, thirst, urge, voracity, weakness, willingness, yearning, ardor, dedication, desire, devotion, enthusiasm, excitement, fervor, horny, intensity, keenness, wholeheartedness, zeal

Arouse -  agitate, awaken, electrify, enliven, excite, entice, foment, goad, incite, inflame, instigate, kindle, provoke, rally, rouse, spark, stimulate, stir, thrill, waken, warm, whet, attract, charm, coax, fire up, fuel, heat up, lure, produce, stir up, tantalize, tease, tempt, thrum, torment, wind up, work up

Assault -  attack, advancing, aggressive, assailing, charging, incursion, inundated, invasion, offensive, onset, onslaught, overwhelmed, ruinous, tempestuous, strike, violation, ambush, assail, barrage, bombard, bombardment, crackdown, wound Beautiful -  admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, bewitching, charming, dazzling, delicate, delightful, divine, elegant, enticing, exquisite, fascinating, gorgeous, graceful, grand, magnificent, marvelous, pleasing, radiant, ravishing, resplendent, splendid, stunning, sublime, attractive, beguiling, captivating, enchanting, engaging, enthralling, eye-catching, fetching, fine, fine-looking, good-looking, handsome, inviting, lovely, mesmeric, mesmerizing, pretty, rakish, refined, striking, tantalizing, tempting Brutal -  atrocious, barbarous, bloodthirsty, callous, cruel, feral, ferocious, hard, harsh, heartless, inhuman, merciless, murderous, pitiless, remorseless, rough, rude, ruthless, savage, severe, terrible, unmerciful, vicious, bestial, brute, brutish, cold-blooded, fierce, gory, nasty, rancorous, sadistic, uncompromising, unfeeling, unforgiving, unpitying, violent, wild Burly – able-bodied, athletic, beefy, big, brawny, broad-shouldered, bulky, dense, enormous, great, hard, hardy, hearty, heavily built, heavy, hefty, huge, husky, immense, large, massive, muscular, mighty, outsized, oversized, powerful, powerfully built, prodigious, robust, solid, stalwart, stocky, stout, strapping, strong, strongly built, sturdy, thick, thickset, tough, well-built, well-developed Carnal -  animalistic, bodily, impure, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, libidinous, licentious, lustful, physical, prurient, salacious, sensuous, voluptuous, vulgar, wanton, , coarse, crude, dirty, raunchy, rough, unclean Dangerous -  alarming, critical, fatal, formidable, impending, malignant, menacing, mortal, nasty, perilous, precarious, pressing, serious, terrible, threatening, treacherous, urgent, vulnerable, wicked, acute, damaging, deadly, death-defying, deathly, destructive, detrimental, explosive, grave, harmful, hazardous, injurious, lethal, life-threatening, noxious, poisonous, risky, severe, terrifying, toxic, unsafe, unstable, venomous Dark -  atrocious, corrupt, forbidding, foul, infernal, midnight, morbid, ominous, sinful, sinister, somber, threatening, twilight, vile, wicked, abject, alarming, appalling, baleful, bizarre, bleak, bloodcurdling, boding evil, chilling, cold, condemned, creepy, damned, daunting, demented, desolate, dire, dismal, disturbing, doomed, dour, dread, dreary, dusk, eerie, fear, fearsome, frightening, ghastly, ghostly, ghoulish, gloom, gloomy, grave, grim, grisly, gruesome, hair-raising, haunted, hideous, hopeless, horrendous, horrible, horrid, horrific, horrifying, horror, ill-fated, ill-omened, ill-starred, inauspicious, inhospitable, looming, lost, macabre, malice, malignant, menacing, murky, mysterious, night, panic, pessimistic, petrifying, scary, shadows, shadowy, shade, shady, shocking, soul-destroying, sour, spine-chilling, spine-tingling, strange, terrifying, uncanny, unearthly, unlucky, unnatural, unnerving, weird, wretched Delicious - enticing, exquisite, luscious, lush, rich, savory, sweet, tasty, tempting, appetizing, delectable, flavorsome, full of flavor, juicy, lip-smacking, mouth-watering, piquant, relish, ripe, salty, spicy, scrummy, scrumptious, succulent, tangy, tart, tasty, yummy, zesty Ecstasy -  delectation, delirium, elation, euphoria, fervor, frenzy, joy, rapture, transport, bliss, excitement, happiness, heaven, high, paradise, rhapsody, thrill, blissful, delighted, elated, extremely happy, in raptures (of delight), in seventh heaven, jubilant, on cloud nine, overexcited, overjoyed, rapturous, thrilled Ecstatic -  delirious, enraptured, euphoric, fervent, frenzied, joyous, transported, wild Erotic -  amatory, amorous, aphrodisiac, carnal, earthy, erogenous, fervid, filthy, hot, impassioned, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, raw, romantic, rousing, salacious, seductive, sensual, sexual, spicy, steamy, stimulating, suggestive, titillating, voluptuous, tantalizing Gasp -  catch of breath, choke, gulp, heave, inhale, pant, puff, snort, wheeze, huff, rasp, sharp intake of air, short of breath, struggle for breath, swallow, winded  Heated - ardent, avid, excited, fervent, fervid, fierce, fiery, frenzied, furious, impassioned, intense, passionate, raging, scalding, scorched, stormy, tempestuous, vehement, violent, ablaze, aflame, all-consuming, blazing, blistering, burning, crazed, explosive, febrile, feverish, fired up, flaming, flushed, frantic, hot, hot-blooded, impatient, incensed, maddening, obsessed, possessed, randy, searing, sizzling, smoldering, sweltering, torrid, turbulent, volatile, worked up, zealous Hunger -  appetite, ache, craving, gluttony, greed, longing, lust, mania, mouth-watering, ravenous, voracious, want, yearning, thirst Hungry -  avid, carnivorous, covetous, craving, eager, greedy, hungered, rapacious, ravenous, starved, unsatisfied, voracious, avaricious, desirous, famished, grasping, insatiable, keen, longing, predatory, ravening, starving, thirsty, wanting Intense -  forceful, severe, passionate, acute, agonizing, ardent, anxious, biting, bitter, burning, close, consuming, cutting, deep, eager, earnest, excessive, exquisite, extreme, fervent, fervid, fierce, forcible, great, harsh, impassioned, keen, marked, piercing, powerful, profound, severe, sharp, strong, vehement, violent, vivid, vigorous Liquid -  damp, cream, creamy, dripping, ichorous, juicy, moist, luscious, melted, moist, pulpy, sappy, soaking, solvent, sopping, succulent, viscous, wet / aqueous, broth, elixir, extract, flux, juice, liquor, nectar, sap, sauce, secretion, solution, vitae, awash, moisture, boggy, dewy, drenched, drip, drop, droplet, drowning, flood, flooded, flowing, fountain, jewel, leaky, milky, overflowing, saturated, slick, slippery, soaked, sodden, soggy, stream, swamp, tear, teardrop, torrent, waterlogged, watery, weeping Lithe - agile, lean, pliant, slight, spare, sinewy, slender, supple, deft, fit, flexible, lanky, leggy, limber, lissom, lissome, nimble, sinuous, skinny, sleek, slender, slim, svelte, trim, thin, willowy, wiry Moan - beef, cry, gripe, grouse, grumble, lament, lamentation, plaint, sob, wail, whine, bemoan, bewail, carp, deplore, grieve, gripe, grouse, grumble, keen, lament, sigh, sob, wail, whine, mewl Moving -  (exciting,) affecting, effective  arousing, awakening, breathless, dynamic, eloquent, emotional, emotive, expressive, fecund, far-out, felt in gut, grabbed by, gripping, heartbreaking, heartrending, impelling, impressive, inspirational, meaningful, mind-bending, mind-blowing, motivating, persuasive, poignant, propelling, provoking, quickening, rallying, rousing, significant, stimulating, simulative, stirring, stunning, touching, awe-inspiring, energizing, exhilarating, fascinating, heart pounding, heart stopping, inspiring, riveting, thrilling Need -  compulsion, demand, desperate, devoir, extremity, impatient longing, must, urge, urgency / desire, appetite, avid, burn, craving, eagerness, fascination, greed, hunger, insatiable, longing, lust, taste, thirst, voracious, want, yearning, ache, addiction, aspiration, desire, fever, fixation, hankering, hope, impulse, inclination, infatuation, itch, obsession, passion, pining, wish, yen Pain -  ache, afflict, affliction, agony, agonize, anguish, bite, burn, chafe, distress, fever, grief, hurt, inflame, laceration, misery, pang, punish, sting, suffering, tenderness, throb, throe, torment, torture, smart Painful -  aching, agonizing, arduous, awful, biting, burning, caustic, dire, distressing, dreadful, excruciating, extreme, grievous, inflamed, piercing, raw, sensitive, severe, sharp, tender, terrible, throbbing, tormenting, angry, bleeding, bloody, bruised, cutting, hurting, injured, irritated, prickly, skinned, smarting, sore, stinging, unbearable, uncomfortable, upsetting, wounded Perverted -  aberrant, abnormal, corrupt, debased, debauched, defiling, depraved, deviant, monstrous, tainted, twisted, vicious, warped, wicked, abhorrent, base, decadent, degenerate, degrading, dirty, disgusting, dissipated, dissolute, distasteful, hedonistic, immodest, immoral, indecent, indulgent, licentious, nasty, profligate, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, shameful, shameless, sickening, sinful, smutty, sordid, unscrupulous, vile  Pleasurable -  charming, gratifying, luscious, satisfying, savory, agreeable, delicious, delightful, enjoyable, nice, pleasant, pleasing, soothing, succulent Pleasure -  bliss, delight, gluttony, gratification, relish, satisfaction, thrill, adventure, amusement, buzz, contentment, delight, desire, ecstasy, enjoyment, excitement, fun, happiness, harmony, heaven, joy, kick, liking, paradise, seventh heaven  Rapacious-  avaricious, ferocious, furious, greedy, predatory, ravening, ravenous, savage, voracious, aggressive, gluttonous, grasping, insatiable, marauding, plundering Rapture -  bliss, ecstasy, elation, exaltation, glory, gratification, passion, pleasure, floating, unbridled joy Rigid -  adamant, austere, definite, determined, exact, firm, hard, rigorous, solid, stern, uncompromising, unrelenting, unyielding, concrete, fixed, harsh, immovable, inflexible, obstinate, resolute, resolved, severe, steadfast, steady, stiff, strong, strict, stubborn, taut, tense, tight, tough, unbending, unchangeable, unwavering Sudden -  abrupt, accelerated, acute, fast, flashing, fleeting, hasty, headlong, hurried, immediate, impetuous, impulsive, quick, quickening, rapid, rash, rushing, swift, brash, brisk, brusque, instant, instantaneous, out of the blue, reckless, rushed, sharp, spontaneous, urgent, without warning Thrust -  (forward) advance, drive, forge, impetus, impulsion, lunge, momentum, onslaught, poke, pressure, prod, propulsion, punch, push, shove, power, proceed, progress, propel (push hard) assail, assault, attack, bear down, buck, drive, force, heave, impale, impel, jab, lunge, plunge, press, pound, prod, ram, shove, stab, transfix, urge, bang, burrow, cram, gouge, jam, pierce, punch, slam, spear, spike, stick Thunder-struck - amazed, astonished, aghast, astounded, awestruck, confounded, dazed, dazed, dismayed, overwhelmed, shocked, staggered, startled, stunned, gob-smacked, bewildered, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, horrified, incredulous, surprised, taken aback  Torment - agony, anguish, hurt, misery, pain, punishment, suffering, afflict, angst, conflict, distress, grief, heartache, misfortune, nightmare, persecute, plague, sorrow, strife, tease, test, trial, tribulation, torture, turmoil, vex, woe Touch -  (physical) - blow, brush, caress, collide, come together, contact, converge, crash, cuddle, embrace, feel, feel up, finger, fondle, frisk, glance, glide, graze, grope, handle, hit, hug, impact, join, junction, kiss, lick, line, manipulate, march, massage, meet, nudge, palm, partake, pat, paw, peck, pet, pinch, probe, push, reach, rub, scratch, skim, slide, smooth, strike, stroke, suck, sweep, tag, tap, taste, thumb, tickle, tip, touching, toy, bite, bump, burrow, buss, bury, circle, claw, clean, clutch, cover, creep, crush, cup, curl, delve, dig, drag, draw, ease, edge, fiddle with, flick, flit, fumble, grind, grip, grub, hold, huddle, knead, lap, lave, lay a hand on, maneuver, manhandle, mash, mold, muzzle, neck, nestle, nibble, nip, nuzzle, outline, play, polish, press, pull, rasp, ravish, ream, rim, run, scoop, scrabble, scrape, scrub, shave, shift, shunt, skate, slip, slither, smack, snake, snuggle, soothe, spank, splay, spread, squeeze, stretch, swipe, tangle, tease, thump, tongue, trace, trail, tunnel twiddle, twirl, twist, tug, work, wrap  (mental) - communicate, examine, inspect, perception, scrutinize Wet - bathe, bleed, burst, cascade, course, cover, cream, damp, dampen, deluge, dip, douse, drench, dribble, drip, drizzle, drool, drop, drown, dunk, erupt, flood, flow, gush, immerse, issue, jet, leach, leak, moisten, ooze, overflow, permeate, plunge, pour, rain, rinse, run, salivate, saturate, secrete, seep, shower, shoot, slaver, slobber, slop, slosh, sluice, spill, soak, souse, spew, spit, splash, splatter, spout, spray, sprinkle, spurt, squirt, steep, stream, submerge, surge, swab, swamp, swill, swim, trickle, wash, water Wicked -  abominable, amoral, atrocious, awful, base, barbarous, dangerous, debased, depraved, distressing, dreadful, evil, fearful, fiendish, fierce, foul, heartless, hazardous, heinous, immoral, indecent, intense, mean, nasty, naughty, nefarious, offensive, profane, scandalous, severe, shameful, shameless, sinful, terrible, unholy, vicious, vile, villainous, wayward, bad, criminal, cruel, deplorable, despicable, devious, ill-intentioned, impious, impish, iniquitous, irreverent, loathsome, Machiavellian, mad, malevolent, malicious, merciless, mischievous, monstrous, perverse, ruthless, spiteful, uncaring, unkind, unscrupulous, vindictive, virulent, wretched Writhe -  agonize, bend, jerk, recoil, lurch, plunge, slither, squirm, struggle, suffer, thrash, thresh, twist, wiggle, wriggle, angle, arc, bow, buck, coil, contort, convulse, curl, curve, fidget, fight, flex, go into spasm, grind, heave, jiggle, jolt, kick, rear, reel, ripple, resist, roll, lash, lash out, screw up, shake, shift, slide, spasm, stir, strain, stretch, surge, swell, swivel, thrust, turn violently, tussle, twitch, undulate, warp, worm, wrench, wrestle, yank 

[shades-of-orange]

I’ve reblogged it before, and I’ll reblog it again

[anotherwellkeptsecret]

Bullying in Fandom

CONSUMERS: The internet is a vehicle. You are in the driver’s seat. It’s up to you where you go and what you see, not anyone else. You decide which content you consume and no one else gets to dictate what you decide is right for you. Likewise, you do not get to dictate which content others consume, either. There are signs to help protect yourself from roads you don’t wish to go down, like tags and trigger warnings. Learn what these mean and how to utilize them before you delve into any content whatsoever. If you find yourself consuming content you don’t like: STOP.

If you find content without proper tagging, inform the creator so they may tag it for future reference. Do this as calmly and politely as possible so that quick work can be done to prevent any other mishaps. 

If you find yourself consuming content you don’t wish to consume even though it’s been tagged appropriately, you don’t need to be on the internet without a parent or guardian. CREATORS: Tag your art, your fic. Please, for the love of God, tagging is the foundation of what fandom is today. If you don’t tag, you’re not a responsible creator. If you’re concerned whether or not something should be tagged, err on the side of caution and tag it. If someone approaches you and asks you to tag something for triggering content within the realm of reason, tag it. It takes two seconds. No muss, no fuss.  

We all like and dislike different things. Policing a fandom is not possible. No one person can determine what’s right and what’s wrong because each of our perceptions of right and wrong are different, and why they’re right and wrong are different, and how we consume what’s right and what’s wrong are different. For example, in the mid-1500s, the Catholic Church’s Council of Trent decided that nudity in religious art was no longer acceptable. Rather than destroying the art, fig leaves were cast in plaster and added over the genitals, which compromised some of the sculptures to the point where they couldn’t be restored.

I’m telling you this story because fandom policing isn’t new. It’s thousands and thousands of years old. And it doesn’t ever go very well. 

So what’s to be done? What if you don’t like what a creator is creating? Block, blacklist, unfollow. Those are your tools. You don’t have to consume certain content it if you don’t want to. And if others want to consume it, you have no right to dictate what they consume. This includes vagueblogging to make certain people/people who support certain people feel badly for liking what they like, going into other people’s ask boxes to hound them for reblogging content that they like, and doxxing/harassing people for liking what they like. It’s unacceptable behavior that needs to end. Block, blacklist, and unfollow others if necessary. Or talk to others about tagging specific things specific ways so you can avoid seeing it altogether.

This bullying has got. To. Stop.

I don’t care what side you’re on, if any side at all. You don’t like what someone has on their blog? Don’t follow them! Don’t like the way they ship their ship? Don’t follow them! Don’t like the art they reblog? Don’t follow them! 

What you DON’T do is harass them. We are better than this, you guys. We are SO much better than this.

To sum up: Consumers, be responsible. Creators, be respectful.

[the-pen-pot]

Well said, @anotherwellkeptsecret

As a creator, I will try and do better re: tagging. If any of my readers think an alternative warning is needed and I’ve missed it (this can sometimes happen, as I’m writing serially and story paths take me by surprise) then please let me know. If you have any personal, less mainstreams squicks/triggers, you can always contact me before reading my stories and ask if that’s going to be an issue. I’ll do my best to reply honestly and quickly.

[the-pen-pot]

A Note On The Past (And The Present)

When I wrote Sherlock fic under the name beautifulfic, I was never bullied out of fandom. No one ever really came after me. Not directly. I know I was on the block lists of some people involved in TJLC, either because of my objection to the term “Gay man baby” got on their nerves, or because I was too flippant when I refused to tag who tops (something I acknowledge and now regret - the flippancy, though not necessarily my decision.)

I watched from the sidelines when the wank of 221B con went down (for those that don’t know the history, there are some good accounts at fail-fandom anon here, here and here. You can also check out the information on the Sherlock fandom here. These accounts are primarily anonymous, because in 2015 and beyond there has been a huge fear of backlash) Even as a bystander it was earth shattering. I wish now I’d had the guts to stand up to the people bullying and threatening to dox, but I’m afraid I never did. It’s perhaps my biggest regret.

When I left the Sherlock fandom, it wasn’t because I was directly hounded out of a space I loved. However, the toxic atmosphere in the fandom, particularly the militant regime of hate and false accusations, and the pressure to write certain relationships certain ways definitely had an impact.

I lost my passion for writing Johnlock, and because fandom is the way it is, I saw no point in even trying to reclaim it.

Mine is just one story of many. It is not the most dramatic. Others were literally chased out, ridiculed and abused until they no longer felt safe. Some faded away, disgusted by what their playground has become. For me, the fandom became a place that no longer fostered my creativity. Everything I wrote became a potential minefield, and every desire to write Sherlock and John finally fled.

That’s not going to change. I’m not going to come back, but I honestly hope the Sherlock fandom can step up and make the changes necessary in order to foster the growth of its current writers and artists, and promote the joyous imagination and productivity of those meaningful contributors who work so hard to make this community a place of joy, rather than hate.

[the-pen-pot]

If

If you read a fanfiction and you don’t like it, you can

a) Stop reading at any point b) Find something else

You are not obligated to read all the way to the end, nor to tell the writer you hated it.

[whatis2plus2]

Since joining Tumblr, I’ve met a lot of young queer people. Look, I’m a bisexual man in a gay relationship, and I’m approaching 30. I was still a kid when Matthew Shepard’s story was being covered on the news. I remember thinking, “I better keep my mouth shut about these feelings I’m having.”

And then I met Dominic when I was 12, and people could see how in love we were. And we got the shit beat out of us. The year I met him, some kids in the grade above me held me down against the bleachers in our gym and stomped on my hand until my fingers broke. Instead of sending me to the nurse, the teacher sent me to the assistant principal to explain the situation. She asked why the kids had beat me up. I said, “They were calling me gay.”

Her response was, “Well, are you?”

My, “I don’t know,” earned a call to my parents, and I was outed. Efforts were made to keep me from seeing Dom. Throughout high school, Dom’s stepmother intensified these efforts. He slept in the basement of the house. Although he was an incredibly talented student, he was prohibited from participating in any extracurriculars. He suffered a lot of physical abuse during those years.

The day he turned 18, he packed up everything he had and walked to my house, and we’ve lived together ever since. Things are better, but they’re not perfect. I’ve had trucks pull up next to me at stoplights and, seeing the pride sticker on my car, through old drinks and garbage into my window. I no longer speak to my dad’s side of the family. I haven’t been to see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving in years. One of my uncles had cornered me at Thanksgiving when I was 17 and said, “I’m not going to judge you, but I’d be happy to break your neck so God can do the judging a little sooner.”

I joined a support group for trans and intersex people. When I joined, 40 people attended regularly. Within the year, the group was half the size it had been. Some couldn’t make it anymore, because they were staying at the shelter, where their stay hinged on them agreeing to instead to attend homophobic sermons. Some were put in correctional therapy. Five of them died. Three of those, I didn’t know, but I knew Alex, the 19 year old who was fag-dragged in Kentucky and died a day later in the hospital, and I knew Stephanie, who went home to Alabama to care for her mom in hospice and was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her mom’s boyfriend.

Tumblr is not reality. The dynamic here does not reflect the dynamic out there. Here’s the part where I finally make a point, and it might be extremely unpopular - but guys, value your allies. Value each other. We are met with enough hate in our daily lives to enter an online safe-space and meet more hate from our own, over petty things. Don’t go after one another over every little thing you find problematic.

Learn to see nuance. Maybe the word “queer” bothers you, and you see a gay man using it as an umbrella term. Maybe someone called a trans man a trans woman because they’re confused about terminology, but the post where they did it was voicing support for the trans community. Maybe someone is just asking a question, wanting to learn more. Stop. Attacking. These. People.

Allies are being driven away. Members of our own community are being ostracized. Others are feeling nervous and estranged, and it’s largely because of places like Tumblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming violent and radical. I am begging you, stop nitpicking “problematic” things and start directing your efforts to create real change. When it comes to comes to your allies, forget the “social justice warrior” mentality and put down your torch. Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And I’m certainly not saying that your anger doesn’t have a good place - when you are met with bigots on the street, congress members who want to pass hateful laws, violent protesters, abusive parents, prejudiced teachers, that is when you need to be a warrior. That’s when it counts. In the real world. When you have the opportunity to protect people from real harm. Attacking your would-be allies via anonymous asks is just going to lose us ground in the long run. And we don’t have time for that, not when trans women of color are being murdered every day, not when states are still fighting against marriage equality, not when there are politicians in office who believe that trans people are possessed by demons, not when we’ve just lost 50 brothers and sisters to one gunman, not when the media won’t even admit that the attack was homophobic.

Please step back. Look at the big picture. Look at where we are, globally. Don’t just log on to your safe space and attack your allies over small missteps. That’s like washing the dishes in a house that’s on fire, kids. Let’s fight on the battlefield, and when we come home to each other, let’s just focus on bandaging up our wounds so we can go out and win the war.

[stephrc79]

Signal boost to this unbelievably important message.

[sussexbound]

Thank you for this.

[may-shepard]

Yes, thank you op.

[atlinmerrick]

REC: The Support Group For People Unfairly Maligned In Historical Fiction

~ by Kathryn Warner

Read this hysterical blog post. Please. It contains such gems as:

“Mark Smeaton: Well, apparently, I was Queen Anne Boleyn’s intellectually below-average socially inept fanpoodle. Or George Boleyn’s equally socially inept boytoy. I keep forgetting which.”

and

“Isabella of France: I am somewhat baffled by the way I used to be portrayed as an evil cackling murderous unfeminine she-wolf but am now a) a long-suffering tragic neglected wife dumped on over and over from a great height by her nasty cruel gay husband.”

It also contains such gems as manslut and impregnation from the dead. 

[atlinmerrick]

Was having a lovely conversation with my friend Kate about Richard III and other monarchs maligned in fiction to suit a story’s plot instead of historical reality — you know, queens getting impregnated by men long dead, that sort of thing — and so have to reblog this beautiful beautifulness by Kathryn Warner. Enjoy!

[roane72]

The thing about Tumblr that probably makes me saddest is the underlying assumption that women past a certain age (which seems to be about 25?) stop having any sort of outside interests beyond family/career/kids. Like, y’all are always so shocked that grown women have lives and can fangirl as hard as we did as teenagers.

It makes me sad not because it makes me feel old (although it does), but because these younger women are constricting their own lives–they fully expect that this will happen to them someday. Y’all deserve better. Y’all deserve to EXPECT better.

[esterbrook]

And worse than that, the idea that there’s something WRONG with a grown woman who has other interests.

[roane72]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

[goatatemynametag]

One of the biggest things I realized growing up? 

It doesn’t happen.

You expect somehow you will change when you are finally An Adult ™. You’ll stop enjoying the things you enjoy now for something more “adult” or “mature”. You’ll FEEL like an adult and not like a child anymore. You’ll feel comfortable and secure and not scared and unsure and confused. You expect you will feel like you have your shit together.

But I can tell you that it doesn’t happen. You’ll still feel like the “you” you were at 15 or 17 or 19. 

You just have these…things to deal with. Like rent. And insurance. 

You have a job either because a) you like it or b) it keeps the lights and internet on. 

You’ll look up from fangirling one day and realize ‘shit. I am twenty eight years old. That’s almost 30!’. Or maybe it will be that you look down at the small child clasped around your legs and realize ‘that is my child. I have a child. A human being child.’ Or maybe it will be that you have to negotiate your budget around con tickets AND a mortgage payment. 

Growing up isn’t a thing that happens. 

It’s a realization that it doesn’t happen. 

[roane72]

Holy shit, y’all. There are some AMAZING responses to this post. Yes, everything alwayshometomarvel says. All that.

[eclecticmuses]

Feeling like I wasn’t ‘adult’ enough fucked me up for years. I would cry at night and feel like a total piece of shit because I was married with a kid, and yet I still did ‘not adult’ things–I played MMOs, I cosplayed and went to conventions, I drew fan art and wrote fan fic. I kept waiting for the day that I would wake up and realize that what I really needed to be doing was the laundry, cleaning the house, making dinner every night, etc. Basically, be the ‘perfect’ wife and mother.

And somewhere between then and now, I somehow managed to tell myself…fuck it. I AM an adult. I go to work every day and pay the bills and help raise my son and take care of the house. I do legit adult things. AND I play MMOs, go to conventions, and participate in fandom. And THAT’S OKAY. I’m 32 years old now and finally at peace with that part of myself. (Having a supportive husband and kid doesn’t hurt either!)

[tariqk]

@malaysianfeminist

[madamethursday]

All of this is such truth. Believing these things about growing up, and especially about being over 25? Really made it hard for me when I turned 30.

I was literally suicidal on my 30th birthday. I spent the whole day in tears. I felt like I had died and my life was now worthless and small and never going to be hopeful or full of promise or fun again. I felt like killing myself on my birthday because I bought into this lie that somewhere after your mid-twenties, you diminish as a woman because the only thing that made you alive and shiny was your youth.

I’m 31 one and I’m done with that shit. I’m over it. I don’t care if you think I’m too old for something. If I’m an old lady in tumblr terms, then I’m past the legal age where I’m obligated to care what you think. 

So, I’m telling you girls out there right now who are in your teens and twenties, get rid of this idea of what older women are “supposed” to look like. Get rid of this idea that “soccer moms” don’t play video games or that all women over 25 should be married and contemplating kids. Get rid of the idea that fanfic and fandom and fun things are for “kids”.

Mostly, get rid of this notion that the only thing really valuable about you is your youth. Youth is part of life, but it’s not the most valuable or beautiful or exciting time of your life. I like my life at 30 about 1000% than I did at 15, 18, 20, even 25. 

[roane72]

I’m glad you’re still here.

[dynastylnoire]

Grownblr approves this message

[thefandomdropout]

I adore this post 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

[brendaonao3]

Jesus, all of this.  Fandom life and fandom fun and PASSION for things doesn’t end at 25 or 30 or 40 or 50 - my mom still goes to as many concerts as she can (like, she goes to more live shows than I do) and is passionate about music and baseball (her chosen fandoms) at she’s 60 and a widow and a grandmother twice over.  Youth isn’t your only bargaining chip and passions don’t die once you hit a certain age and it is OKAY to be an adult with adult responsibilities and also have fandom things you’re passionate about.  (In fact, those are the things that make being an adult worth it. *g*)

[frostyemma]

So much of this is because American SOCIETY teaches women that 1) they’re pretty worthless to begin with and 2) whatever worth they might have ends at 25, maybe 30. So after 30, so far as the American majority culture is concerned, a woman might as well be dead. Or if she’s not dead, she’d better be focused on babies and housekeeping and fashion magazines, and nothing else.

The idea that women have ANY interests at all, past family and marriage, is just fucking MIND BLOWING to many. The idea that women might be interested in the same fannish things they were always interested in? Absurd.

[twistedingenue]

At work the other day, one of our visitors asked for out names and favorite hobby. All of the men had time-intensive hobbies and could easily name them. The women (besides the two of us without kids) all looked panicked and then mumbled something like “I like to read, maybe?” These women are awesome women. I know they have hobbies and things that they enjoy outside of raising their children, but you could see the sort of weird pressure there was to not admit that they wanted to do something other than raise their children.

[roane72]

Holy shit the NOTES this post has gotten. Take some time and read some of the responses if you get a chance. They’re AMAZING.

[thenumber1secretary]

This.

[verity-burns]

Verity Burns & br0-Harry: A Love Story

In Autumn 2010, I was writing my first Sherlock story, The Road Less Traveled when I received a message from the artist br0-Harry sending me an illustration. I think I would have been blown away however experienced a writer I was, but with ‘Road’ being my first story I was utterly overwhelmed. To see my words brought to life, and in such a brilliant way… it was an incredible feeling.

Over the next couple of years I was blessed with more art from several wonderful artists, but Harry was always special. He did some further illustrations for my stories, and I wrote poems / ficlets to go with some of his artworks.

Eventually, we exchanged real names and addresses; I sent him some locally famous sweets, and he completely outclassed me by sending an incredible water-colour of Cabin Pressure’s Martin Crieff.

In 2013 he announced that he was coming to the UK with some friends, and would I like to meet up? He told me his dates, and I found that I would miss him in London by a few days… I offered my apologies. But his group decided to tour the country during their visit, spending a couple of days in my area, and a rendezvous was arranged.

We sat opposite each other over a meal in a local pub… and the table was too wide.

That was it. Nothing happened. We spent the entire evening each feeling that the table between us was stupidly wide, and then we parted. He flew home a few days later and we didn’t see each other again until the following year. But we talked every day.

Officially, we were still ‘just friends’. But as time went by the elephant in the chat room became too big to ignore, and after a couple of months there was an inevitable spilling of heartfelt beans.

Harry admitted that he had been half in love with me for years. ‘Love at first chapter’ was how he later described it. His feelings for me were what had given him the final impetus he needed to transition, against tremendous social and family resistance, after a lifetime of gender dysphoria. But he knew I was married, he assumed happily, so just to meet me was enough – when I couldn’t manage London, it was he who had persuaded his friends to travel further.

For myself, I had been deeply unhappy in my marriage for over a decade. But I was raised that divorce is not an option when there are children involved, and I had two boys. I’d long planned to leave once my youngest reached 18, but that was still seven years away… Harry said he would wait.

As it happened, things didn’t work out that way. Once feelings had been acknowledged, what had been a dreaded obligation for the last ten years became completely intolerable. I could no longer sleep with my husband.

Subsequent months were difficult, and messy. But at the end of them, I was free. Free to follow my heart, which had no doubt of its home.  

Our first year as a proper ‘couple’, Harry and I were seldom physically together, living many hundreds of miles apart. But Skype was our friend and we were in each other’s company virtually all of the time. We woke, showered, cooked and ate together; we brushed our teeth at the same time and more often than not fell asleep with the Skype call still going.

Then, a little over a year ago, his ongoing health issues were diagnosed as cancer, and we cut through remaining obstacles with a determination based on the need to squeeze the maximum amount of ‘right’ into a lifetime of ‘wrong’.

Since early last December, we were never apart for more than an occasional hour or two. We got married, we had adventures, we made the most of every moment of ‘perfect’ that we had found with each other.

Two weeks ago, I buried him in his favourite fandom tee, under the shirt he’d been wearing the night we met.

My heart is breaking as I write this. He loved me so completely, I breathed it in every time he exhaled. The air seems too thin now, as if it can barely sustain me.

But I cannot feel sorry for myself. Or regret a single one of the choices he led me to make. He often said that I was his angel; especially as I took over more and more of his personal care. But he saved me.

I had given up on love. I wrote about it, but it was a fictional thing to me.

Soulmates.

Pfffft.

But I found mine.

I found mine.

Thank you, Sherlock.

[thenumber1secretary]

Absolutely heart breaking, and so, so beautiful.

[beautifulfic-deactivated2016081]

Police investigate reports of fat-shaming cards being handed out on the London Underground (source)

This is absolutely vile behaviour. Thanks to Kara Florish on twitter/Facebook for making this known, and to the news agencies for picking it up.

This amateurish, grammatically inept and illiterate trash is being handed around on the London underground system. At the moment, the only named location of this kind of thin was a man handing a woman one of these cards at Oxford Circus, but I thought I’d trigger warn and signal boost to put people on their guard.

It Kara Florish’s words:

“[…] this is hateful and cowardly and could potentially upset people struggling with confidence and eating disorders.

Please tweet and share this if you are also outraged. Plus, to the person who wrote this card. Go back to school, you can’t spell beautiful.*”

(*And nor are they able to correctly form sentences, as indicated by their inept punctuation.)