My Heart Gos Woo @theonewhoischosen - Tumblr Blog

God can you imagine if Donald Trump became president? There’d be like a new bubonic plague and he’d be like “idk drink bleach about it”

fullmetalfisting

Throwback to when I took acid for the first time in 2013 and predicted the events of 2020 like the fucking oracle of Delphi

Holy shit

I fucking hate James Tissot’s paintings because in ALL OF THEM there is ALWAYS someone staring right at you, but it’s not always immediately visible. You just feel watched by this mf. Sometimes the little shit is right there at the centre, but others the bastard is just gazing from the distance, it is CREEPY, my guys

momo-de-avis

STOP STARING AT ME, THIS IS DISCONCERTING AS FUCK

filthybonnet

I think this is hilarious. We’ve been caught.

sheherzog

lazyflan

Please tell me that I'm not the only one who will refuse to call facebook "meta".

I literally live in fandom spaces, if I search "meta" somewhere and facebook appears first I'm going to personally go kick zuckerberg's ass.

castiel-j-winchester

Okay okay but here's the thing.

MetaCompany put out a PUBLIC CEASE AND DESIST.

homunculus-argument

I love how both corvids and parrots are in general highly intelligent, but where corvids generally have strict hierarchies, solve disagreements in the pecking order by fighting, and have a strong dislike for anything new or foreign until they figure out how to make use of it, parrots are just here to party.

The New Caledonian crow, who knows how to specifically build a tool in order to build another tool, never engages in play. These motherfuckers are smarter than some people with the right to vote, and they are Extremely Serious Birds. They don't have time to play, they got work to do and kids to raise.

And then there's the kea, straight-up titled "clown of the mountains", that has a specific vocalization for "playtime!". Scientists decided to try what happens if they play the Play Call for two fully-grown adult keas that are together in an area and can clearly see there is no other, third kea to make the call, and they just go "great idea, disembodied voice! it's TIME TO FUCKING PARTY!" and start wrestling.

Imagine working really hard in order to make it into a top university to study astrophysics, making it to your first Very Serious Class, sitting down full of serious determination, and the dude next to you is taking notes without using his hands, with a glitter pen he's shoved up his nose. And his notes are good.

homunculus-argument

It's your first day of Bird University and you already fucking hate this guy.

trixree

So there's this gene in humans called PLXNC1 or "Plexin", right? So Plexin is associated with increased neuron function and is generally thought to be correlated to human's increased cognitive ability for the use of language, i.e., "language learning". Super cool, right?

Humans aren't the only animals with advanced language learning that have Plexin in their genome. We can actually find homologous plexin between humans and PARROTS!

Using genomic alignment search tools, we can actually break down the sequence of human Plexin and directly compare it to the Plexin found in parrots. (This was actually a project I ran for an upper division genomics class, and running the program literally takes like... ten minutes.) I wanted to see how similar the plexin gene was between humans and parrots, so I queued up the human sequence against all of the available records from parrot genomes and sorted by greatest percent identity (i.e., which bird species had the closest plexin to ours?)

It was this funky dude right here:

THAT'S RIGHT BABY! The kea, notorious for being a straight up motherfucking prank god, carries Plexin with a 79.42% identity comapred to humans'.

THIS LITTLE ASSHOLE HAS A HOMOLOGOUS LANGUAGE LEARNING GENE WITH US!!!! A GENE THAT IS THOUGHT TO BE CORRELATED TO HIGHER LEVEL LEARNING AND INTELLIGENCE!!!!! AND THEY USE THEIR INTELLIGENCE TO WREAK HAVOC ON TOURISTS

Also these guys have been found to literally have predictive reasoning skills, which we consider REALLY FUCKING ADVANCED for a lot of animal species. They pass the Aesop's fable test with flying colors. They're so goddamn cool, I love them so much. The kea really said: "I will use my superior intelligence to have a good fucking time" and that's so powerful honestly

introvert-unicorn-deactivated20

A list of nice words we should use more to describe people :

Adventurous : willing to undertake new and daring enterprises.

Affectionate : having or displaying warmth or fondness.

Ambitious : having a strong desire for success or achievement.

Amiable : diffusing warmth and friendliness.

Brave : not being afraid of danger.

Considerate : showing concern for the rights and feelings of others.

Courageous : able to face and deal with danger or fear without flinching.

Courteous : characterized by politeness and gracious good manners.

Diligent : characterized by care and perseverance in carrying out tasks.

Empathetic : showing ready comprehension of others' states.

Exuberant : unrestrained, especially with regard to feelings.

Gregarious : temperamentally seeking and enjoying the company of others.

Humble : marked by meekness or modesty; not arrogant or prideful.

Impartial : free from undue bias or preconceived opinions.

Intuitive : obtained through instinctive knowledge.

Inventive : marked by independence and creativity in thought or action.

Kind : behaving in a caring way towards people

Passionate : having or expressing strong emotions.

Philosophical : meeting trouble with level-headed detachment.

Practical : guided by experience and observation rather than theory.

Rational : having its source in or being guided by the intellect.

Reliable : worthy of trust.

Resourceful : adroit or imaginative.

Sensible : able to feel or perceive.

Sincere : open and genuine; not deceitful.

Sympathetic : expressing compassion or friendly fellow feelings.

Witty : demonstrating striking cleverness and humor.

farmgf

favorite things to see on here

- posts about soup

- posts about bread

- posts about onions and garlic in a pan

- pictures of kitchens

- pictures of fresh veggies and fruits

- posts about cooking as an act of love

farmgf

x x x x x x x x x x

tlirsgender

I'm really out here with the taste in men of a repressed victorian gentleman I'm like "when he's in his shirtsleeves 😳😩" "when he's in his dressing gown and his leg slips out a bit and you see his sock garters 👀🙈" like sir I think you're unwell

tlirsgender

When his shirt isn't buttoned up all the way and you can see his clavicle

should-be-sleeping

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

should-be-sleeping

I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.

justprettygay

should-be-sleeping

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

athelind

Happy Easter.

teddy-stonehill

I went to the local aviary today and they had some really mean things to say about owls.

teddy-stonehill

ordinaryredtail

Unfortunately they are not wrong

hymnsofheresy

i was with my mother’s family and they were talking to me about my religious studies major. my great aunt asked me what the definition of hell was, and i responded “well i suppose it depends on who you ask.” and nearly all the protestants in the group decided that hell was “the absence of god” which i suppose is a fair answer, albeit not a universal one. my cousin’s wife was playing with her 3-year-old daughter and she says “well mommy says that hell is a mcdonald’s playplace” asdfghjhgfd

hymnsofheresy

this 3-year-old girl is so fucking hilarious. her mothers have signed her up for a toddler yoga class, and so she has adopted a very unique language. this child also has an imaginary friend named “mom” which is, in her mind, the boss of her two mothers. for example, my cousin’s wife explained to me how her daughter got mad at them one time. the little girl situated herself in the corner of her crib, pretended to type on a cell phone and said “im writing an email to mom right now and telling her how bad you two are. namaste.”

hymnsofheresy

the family’s Big Theory about “Mom” is that both my cousin and her wife are referred to as “Mommy” and “Mama.” The nickname “Mom” is not used in the house because it would just be confusing. However, when interacting with the world, people tell their daughter that they will “tell her mom” if she is doing something wrong. so this child automatically assumes there is this greater “Mom” figure that is responsible for distributing universal justice.

alexaloraetheris

To be fair to the toddler, that’s pretty much how religions get started.

dantescandlestick

Our Mom, who art gonna hear about this,

the-bakeneko

Forgive them Mom, they know not what they do

omghotmemes

My sister who kept photoshopping her cat’s face onto bees sent me these bears

tiktoks-for-dead-pope

briefnightmarefire

zukoandtheoc

anyway blackout poetry not just as an art form, but as an act of violence against other works of art

taking a piece of text that someone probably put their heart and soul into creating and using it as your raw material, cutting out everything that you deem irrelevant to the point you want to make

i mean imagine cutting up a painting and using it to make a collage, or taking a marble sculpture and carving pieces out of it to make a different sculpture

just to be clear: i love blackout poetry, im not criticizing it here. i am just waxing poetic about it. i dont really know where im going with this i just have Thoughts about art being destructive

queerhollyleaf

inthefallofasparrow

immaplatypus

g…gritty did what now…

immaplatypus

i thought i was prepared before clicking this link but i wasn’t in the slightest

immaplatypus

please forget how to speak

memewhore

picktheonesthatlast

are we ignoring both of the penises, or…..?

kinkeryandgeekery

Pilots drawing things with flight paths is a niche interest but a fucking fantastic one. Boeing Dreamliner 18-hour test flight.

derinthescarletpescatarian

I’m just happy that the pilots out there have this kind of precision.

deathsmallcaps

Oh I thought some pilot was doing this to some poor passengers who just wanted to go from Chicago to LA or something and then I scrolled up and saw it was test pilots.

derinthescarletpescatarian

“And if you look out the left window, you’ll see the same mountains again, but from a slightly different angle.”