The Only Ren

Never forget, believe in yourself. Just another blog fulla memes. Currently on a weird post-transformation Utilikin Pseudo-RP arc. Will answer asks in character!

[theonlyren]

Lapidean Golems

Hi Tumblr. No I didn't forget you exist and have been focusing mostly on sharing this content on twitter and discord wym? Anyway yeah here's that google doc:

Lapidean Golems: A King's Academy Thesis Study

King’s Academy Transmutation Studies Ambition City, the capital of Xeria, a nation renowned for its studies of and advances in magic. In t

Master lore doc on this new species, along with a serialized "journal entry" style story about life post Lapidean transformation, written by yours truly and co-written by my friend @naitaurbusiness

Also if you wanna hang out on the Discord you can swing by!

Check out the Lapis Aureus community on Discord - hang out with 74 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.

[nitewrighter]

Me: I don't get it. I thought I was doing a lot better than I was a few years ago. I'm like 10 times more on top of things than I used to be. How does everything feel terrible now?

The Tiny Me in OSHA-approved Hi-Vis Gear Who lives in my brain and pulls all the levers: Boss, it's the fascism. You're completely gunked up with cortisol due to the fact that your entire daily life is now underscored with a haunting awareness of the rapid erosion of your rights, dignity, and any and all social safety nets, and you're also bearing witness to the most vulnerable people immediately being persecuted. This creates a natural stress response that basically means you're going to continue having memory and organizational problems, as well as emotional imbalances.

Me: BUT I HAVE A BULLET JOURNAL AND I MEDITATE NOW.

Tiny OSHA Me: BOSS, THE FASCISM.

[planefood]

rules for thee and not for me

[queenaegon]

i understand all that shit about honor and knighthood and solemn vows but “kingslayer” is simply a bad insult. it sounds cool as fuck. might as well call him the landlord annihilator or the billionaire’s bane.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[calamitys-child]

What's everyone's favourite flowers that aren't like. The normal ones. Like everyone's a fan of roses and sunflowers what's a more niche one. One you don't get in gift sets. Mine's sweet peas

[hemipenal-system]

the town routinely sends a messenger up the mountain to beg the mighty dragoness not to eat them all and raze their town, and ask her what she wants for this month’s holy sacrifice in exchange for her allowing them to live in her territory. they have done this for centuries

the mighty dragoness did pass away recently. she was very old even for a dragon, so it was bound to happen. her niece inherited the cave, and she seems very sweet but she doesn’t really understand the traditional point of the sacrifices and has no interest in accruing further wealth so she just sort of asks for anything on her mind at the moment

a basket of onion rings is definitely not an ordinary sacrifice. but if the dragon wants onion rings, onion rings the dragon will get

[hemipenal-system]

the townspeople are banging ritual drums and singing the dragon's praises and a priest is delivering the standard litany to the dragon asking for her protection and her forgiveness that they should dare to build their settlement in her territory

a nervous girl wearing a flowy robe walks slowly along the aisle the service has made for her, a basket of golden brown beer-battered onion rings and a cup of honey dijon mustard in her outstretched arms. she sets them on the sacrificial altar and steps back as the dragon emerges from her cave and bends her nose down to sniff at them

everyone watches with bated breath as she gently picks one up and eats it. as she roars her approval, the mountain ledge explodes into cheering and applause

as everyone is leaving, she holds up a claw, and everyone falls silent again. she says it might be silly but she was going to watch a movie and if anyone wanted to come they're welcome to watch the movie and maybe play some board games with her? about half the congregation volunteers immediately

it's definitely an unorthodox request but the dragon gets what the dragon wants

[so-much-for-subtlety]

in 2015 we didn’t have AI psychosis so people had to make do by believing a dress was white and gold

[thickness-protection-program]

Because it was

[queer-as-city-folk]

Is the gold in the room with us right now?

[thatoneliquidbicricket]

yes. the dress is gold.

...

the dress has always been gold

r u saying this doesn't look white and gold to u???

...

[queer-as-city-folk]

what.

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

it's a white and gold dress in cool blue dim lighting w/ bright warm light behind it, making an optical illusion. we're not fucking doing this again

[im-mender]

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

oh god fucking damn it

[kaban-bang]

I know tumblr likes to exclusively make it about bloody hospitals but this is what Color Theory is about

[theflowergrrl]

HOW DID THIS DISCOURSE COME BACK IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2026!???

[marzipanandminutiae]

when I tell you people were shouting up and down my dorm's hallways about this when it first happened

(the dress was by Roman Originals and it was in fact blue and black. but they made a one-off white and gold one for charity later)

[headspace-hotel]

I remember when this happened lol

Some people see the photo as showing a white and gold dress, some people see a black and blue dress. What colors you see has nothing to do with "understanding" how color works in a photo, it's perception that differs.

[headspace-hotel]

tags from @mnemonomancy

Yes! It's actually very interesting. The Dress was such a huge phenomenon because people genuinely perceived different colors for no obvious reason

Saying "its just color theory" doesn't completely capture it, as per the wikipedia page, we still don't know exactly why this photo of a dress Does That. The meme actually kicked off quite a bit of scientific research into how the brain creates this grand hallucination we call perception. It's not trivial or stupid at all

[havinganormalone]

Fanfiction is insane. You can write porn so good you make friends.

[cloudabserk]

WARNING do NOT start reading books and comics or watching movies or looking at art!!! you will start wanting to create art yourself. or god forbid. writing.

[cambriancrew]

[kaeynine]

"imagine dragons"? i don't need to, there's a buncha real ones makin' posts on tumblr

[c-rowlesdraws]

Oohhhh, big yawn!

It's cute and normal for a girl to have spidery fangs and sharp monstery teeth! Thank you to everyone drawing and writing Hornet with freaky mouthparts, it's inspiring.

[greelin]

in case you needed to hear it today:

it’s okay to use your turn signal when you’re changing lanes

it’s okay to use your turn signal when you’re taking an exit

it’s okay to use your turn signal when you plan on turning (can even be done sooner than 2 seconds before you’re about to turn)

you have a turn signal. in your vehicle. two of them in fact.

you are so brave and beautiful and smart and can do it. using your turn signal

[hemipenal-system]

lay prone on your front and close your eyes. if you have headphones, put on ambient noise from your habitat

breathe. breathe in. hold it. breathe out. feel the weight of your wings shift and settle on your back each time it rises and falls. breathe in and stretch your wings upward, then out, then fold them back in as you exhale. repeat this a few times to really shake the dust off your wings

keep breathing. clear your mind. sway your hips from side to side, and notice how the weight of your tail adds momentum to each mighty swish. tilt them forwards and back, and feel how your tail pulls your hips down. curl and uncurl it. try to move it a little bit

nuzzle against your scales. maybe even lick them a bit if you’re feeling particularly fastidious. how do they feel? rough? smooth? warm? cold? if you have feathers, do you feel them? your hide is tough and impenetrable. consider how it envelops your body and keeps you safe

flex your claws. they’re sharp, aren’t they? be careful with them. you don’t want to cut anything by accident. run your tongue over your teeth. those are pretty sharp too. you’re built to hunt. you were designed by millions of years of evolution to catch and eat prey. you’re the perfect predator

focus on what your highly-tuned senses are telling you. what can you hear? what can you smell? how does the environment around you feel on your scales? think about the taste of prey on your tongue? does it make you salivate? are you hungry?

open your eyes. go hunt

[theonlyren]

Hrrnnrnnngngn are you trying to make me go fucking feral???

[hemipenal-system]

lay prone on your front and close your eyes. if you have headphones, put on ambient noise from your habitat

breathe. breathe in. hold it. breathe out. feel the weight of your wings shift and settle on your back each time it rises and falls. breathe in and stretch your wings upward, then out, then fold them back in as you exhale. repeat this a few times to really shake the dust off your wings

keep breathing. clear your mind. sway your hips from side to side, and notice how the weight of your tail adds momentum to each mighty swish. tilt them forwards and back, and feel how your tail pulls your hips down. curl and uncurl it. try to move it a little bit

nuzzle against your scales. maybe even lick them a bit if you’re feeling particularly fastidious. how do they feel? rough? smooth? warm? cold? if you have feathers, do you feel them? your hide is tough and impenetrable. consider how it envelops your body and keeps you safe

flex your claws. they’re sharp, aren’t they? be careful with them. you don’t want to cut anything by accident. run your tongue over your teeth. those are pretty sharp too. you’re built to hunt. you were designed by millions of years of evolution to catch and eat prey. you’re the perfect predator

focus on what your highly-tuned senses are telling you. what can you hear? what can you smell? how does the environment around you feel on your scales? think about the taste of prey on your tongue? does it make you salivate? are you hungry?

open your eyes. go hunt

[starglazerzz]

thinking about how deltarune is fundamentally a game about making a friend group of codependent losers as lonely as you are in high school

Kris is the only human living in that whole town and no one wants to bring up anything other than their brother and how much better things were when he was around. also they’re weird as fuck

Susie moves around constantly, never had the opportunity to make friends and decided that being a bully was an easier archetype for her to fit into despite having a heart the size of a football field

Ralsei thinks his only purpose is making his two friends happy and ugly cries for the first time in his life after thinking he let one of them down

Noelle lives in a big empty house gated off from everybody else, and only lives with her scary cold mother. Imagine dissociating in front a public freezer so often that sans undertale notices. and your old best friend's divorced dad is there a lot which might make it worse

It took maybe three days for these guys to start making life changing decisions based off of each other which is almost exactly how it goes when you're fifteen

[prokopetz]

Few truly understand the struggle being a fundamentally lazy person whose favourite foods all require dirtying a minimum of eight (8) separate dishes to prepare.

[prokopetz]

You learned to eyeball your measurements because you trust your intuition. I learned to eyeball my measurements so I don't have to wash the measuring cup. We are not the same.