cas & dean (and jack) + everydayhealth.com’s entry on “understanding battered woman syndrome”, completely inspired by this post by @grim-work which melted my brain
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@theophages
cas & dean (and jack) + everydayhealth.com’s entry on “understanding battered woman syndrome”, completely inspired by this post by @grim-work which melted my brain
Keep reading
(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)
one thing I've noticed about people who take issue with TMA/TME is that they always construct some fictional scenario whereby the TME person will be asked/preassured to disclose their TME status by the TMA person and how this is bad. This is extremely funny to me cuz not only is the inverse INFINETELY more common (afab only events, (TME) lesbian meetups, etc. the amount of TME queers who have asked me some variation of "so do you have a penis?" "are you a tranny or just a drag queen" "are those real?" *gesturing at my boobs*, is in the middling double digits) but also, every single TME person I've ever interacted with has made their TME status abundantly clear by the way they act around me/talk to me, usually within the first 10 minutes.
this tells me they both don't realize how they act around transfems and also that they don't talk to that many of us to begin with, if this hypothetical is something they believe is likely to happen.
Like, I don't need to ask you. you're gonna let me know wether I like it or not.
the thing about being alive rn is that there is just. so much violence everywhere you look. the invasive species eating up the sides of the roadways. those invasive plants mutating because of the lead in the soil. the roadkill. the car crashes. having to drive, whether or not you feel safe to, because you need to get to work, and it doesn't matter if your brain or body aren't fully online.
and it repeats itself everywhere, same song in a different key, when it comes to eating enough. when it comes to having autonomy over your body, your schedule, the food you eat, the work you do, access to green spaces, etc etc, over and over again. and you're just supposed to hear all of it and not scream.
bitches call my dick game weak bc my thrusts are uncoordinated and sloppy and i keep losing my erection thinking about the ramifications of the maze
wanting to vent a bit/being worried about privacy will have you posting like i'm dealing with issues and problems. situations have happened to me. and there are emotions i'm experiencing about this. or not. gotta keep 'em on their toes.
On the elements of light and their identity with those of matter, radiant and fixed. 1838. Frontispiece.
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never be good at your job. it's a trap. they'll just give you more and harder stuff to do and it'll pull you away from your true passion of writing gay fanfiction for people on the internet
the worst I ever felt for sam girls was when the dude finally thought he was having a prayer breakthrough but it turned out to be just. lucifer. your man really is the only guy on the show who never loses faith and thinks maybe he deserves a good thing once in a while and the writers said I’m gonna bring back the pervert who haunts his dreams
modern samgirls have to stop reblogging this this was a peace offering to the 2020-2021 era samgirls who died out. they were all really offputting and badly behaved and got really upset when he suffered at all ever and if you didn’t acknowledge he suffered the most of any person or agreed he was dean’s battered wife you were a heteronormativity enabler or something
oh fuck... the adderall has hit my system... the change, it's happening... grRRRGH...!! get away from me, before it's too late...!!
(flails on the ground, then stands up and does the dishes)
Photo by Marc Mol / Caters News.
(source)
“The baby hippo was clearly not used to the red and yellow oxpeckers on his back,” Mol says. “It was only a matter of 10 seconds or so before the little guy had had enough. […]"
Hippos and oxpeckers generally have a symbiotic relationship in which the birds eat ticks and other types of parasites from the hippo’s body — the hippo gets free grooming while the bird gets free food.
In this case, however, it seems the baby hippo hadn’t yet gotten the memo on its feathered friends.
Imagine if we took the cop budget and turned it into a free ride service budget
Bringing this post back because I wanna talk about it more.
Read an article in the local paper submitted anonymously by a woman who got a DUI two years ago.
My first instinct was to hate her. Because I hate drinking and driving. Viscerally. Anyone who knows me knows how intense I can be about impaired driving of all kinds (drunk, high, tired). It’s not worth it. It gets people killed. I lost a good friend to a drunk driver. Don’t ever. I’ve gotten in fights with people! I have stolen keys!
“Don’t ever” was, in fact, the point of her writing it. But not because of the danger posed to others. Because of how much a single DUI had ruined her life for two straight years. This also didn’t garner much sympathy from me, because obviously the REAL reason not to drink and drive is because you could kill someone. What do I care if someone irresponsible is inconvenienced?
Anyway, this woman was pulled over after leaving a bar where she had two beers to drive a few blocks to her friend’s place. This didn’t really make me more sympathetic because I’m a hardass when it comes to drinking and driving, but she wasn’t pulled over for any kind of impaired driving. She was driving perfectly. It was clearly the kind of stop that happens late at night when the cops are just fishing. The cop made up something about her stickers being placed wrong or a faulty light, before making her take the normal physical impairment tests (as someone with dyspraxia these scare the shit out of me, but that’s neither here nor there) which she passed just fine. In fact, her driving was perfect, her reactions were perfect. But then came the breathalyzer. And her blood alcohol was just too high.
She got arrested.
And the rest of article was her detailing her attempts since to try to get her license back.
The for profit companies she had to take classes from, the for profit companies who make you pay to install the breathalyzer in your car, how if you are able to plead poverty to get aid for that installation you also have to commit to going once a month to a for profit company that will calibrate your discounted breathalyzer and how if you don’t go your car will get remotely bricked and how the pandemic interrupted the hours of these places without notice meaning her car needed to be towed when she missed an appointment after the place was closed when she expected it to be open, how this added to her sentence, how she lost her insurance.
As I read this, I thought, sure, about how much I hate drunk driving. About my knee-jerk, visceral lack of sympathy. And I asked myself:
Does any of this actually make me feel safer?
And it doesn’t. It doesn’t make me feel any safer at all. This woman was writing this article to say “Don’t drink and drive. Not even once. It’s not worth it.” But what I got from it was, these punitive measures aren’t preventing people from drinking and driving. They’re just… giving cops and for-profits fun new ways to mistreat and exploit normal people. People we, people I personally, can feel disinclined to protect because of judgments we have about them.
Meanwhile, people are still going to drink and drive.
And I thought about what would work. What would make me feel safer. And you know what would make me feel safer? If people who hadn’t planned ahead could still get a ride home. I’d much rather someone call the police (or a service that’s one of the many we institute to replace them) and go “I drove here but I don’t think I’m safe to drive home” and have the reply be “someone will be right there”. Then a pair of public servants show up, one to drive you home and one to drive your car home, and you get home safe.
I would love for traffic safety to be, like, the actual goal of how we manage traffic laws.
But more than that, punitive attempts to control people, blatant disproven behaviorism, doesn’t work. If your political philosophy is about finding the “bad” or “undeserving” and ensuring they struggle, I can’t identify with it. It’s hard to come up with a type of “common crime” that I have more disdain for than drinking and driving, but disapproving of the way this woman has been treated is not the same as justifying her actions. I don’t care! I don’t care if she learns her lesson! I don’t care if I like her! Everything you’re doing to her for a single breathalyzer failure is not keeping the roads safer!
The moment she failed the breathalyzer, you should’ve just given her a ride. That’s all I need.
this is also part of a broader conversation about public transit imo. why is drunk driving so common in the upper midwest? it's just math. car-centric infrastructure + heavy drinking culture = some people are going to drink and drive.
if we were interested in preventing this problem, we would ensure that alternatives are always available, wherever you live, even if it's in the middle of nowhere.
the same way that a culture that is truly invested in children's safety wouldn't *allow* for the potential for children to die because they ran into the street after a ball. it just wouldn't be possible.
if you want to know what your culture prioritizes, look at what options it allows and what options it designed out.
Robert Hainard (1906 - 1999). Bialowieza. Color woodcut. March 9th, 1956.
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the thing is like men and men really cant be friends because the sex part does always get in the way like thats true. and i mean that like im actually dead serious about that
like have you ever seen two straight men attempt to be friends with each other but the gay sex they arent having is literally preventing them from the transformative healing power of friendship. this is real
i dont even mean this in a "they want to fuck each other" way (although many of them do and will never know it) i mean that like the fact that gay sex is even hypothetically possible between them makes it loom over their friendship like it genuinely haunts them that they could be having it. gay sex is the elephant in the room every time they attempt to be emotionally vulnerable with one another, every time they let a hug linger too long. they cannot address its existence and so there is always something in their way, preventing true connection. and that something is the gay sex. that they are not having. the elephant of gay sex
“3 likes isnt much” imagine 3 women inside of you