cas & dean (and jack) + everydayhealth.com’s entry on “understanding battered woman syndrome”, completely inspired by this post by @grim-work which melted my brain
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@theophages
cas & dean (and jack) + everydayhealth.com’s entry on “understanding battered woman syndrome”, completely inspired by this post by @grim-work which melted my brain
Keep reading
Something that happens a lot in non-binary spaces is that a new member of the community will ask a tone-deaf transphobic question like "Hi, AFAB here, I was wondering if any other AFAB NBs had advice about swimsuits? My AFAB chest means I can't wear swimsuits for AMABs," and an established community member will have to gently explain that not only are we are a community of people who often change their bodies to a degree that certificated sex becomes a useless way to describe anatomy, but we are also a community of people who often join the community explicitly to get away from our birth sex assignment, and so referring to people that way can be really offensive.
And no matter how gently this is pointed out, the newbie will often initially feel instinctively defensive towards what they perceive as scolding. Which means that when another community member comes along and says "Don't worry about the language police 🙄, many of us think AGAB language is fine, it's a useful way to refer to the kind of formative experiences you had as a child," the newbie will latch on to them like a life raft.
And yes, we live in a transphobic society, a lot of people coming into the trans community will have uninterrogated transphobic views, but that just makes them more vulnerable when there is always someone in the community willing to tell them "no, your transphobic views are fine actually, and in fact here are some more you might not have thought of!"
It means a sizeable chunk of newly-out NBs are swiftly radicalised into increasingly extreme transphobia and transmisogyny simply as a defense mechanism against having their own comments criticised. One day they're just happy to join a community where people supposedly don't judge you on your birth sex, and the next they're talking about the importance of "AGAB socialisation".
It's a really big problem and I don't know what we can do about it.
Fox Sparrow Brooklyn Bridge Park, Pier 2 uplands
happy pride to my favourite post on reddit
men got a taste of women's beauty standards and immediately started bashing their facial bones with hammers
Celebrating Pride by sharing these pictures of George Michael cruising in Will Rogers State Park in 1997, shortly before he got arrested, which will forever live in my brain as the definition of KING SHIT.
After being forcibly outed by the arrest, he wrote a song about the joys of outdoor sex and made a video mocking the whole mess:
Iconic moment in gay history. Iconic moment in horny history. I just love it so fucking much.
“I never know when I get on stage what it’s going to be like. So we’re down in New Orleans, in the middle of nowhere, and the audience is completely white. And· I’m thinking, ‘Okay, if the shit is going to hit the fan, it’s gonna hit tonight.’ So I go on stage, do a song, come out as a lesbian, and they totally cheer, and I think, ‘Okay, over that hurdle.’
“Every place we went I kept thinking, ‘Well, I don’t know about tonight.’ But everything was great, all through the South, up to Chicago, Ohio, and it was great.”
[Phranc] pauses, lowers her voice and begins pacing her words.
“Then we crossed over into Toronto. And I get on stage, and that audience … I have never run into such a hostile, homophobic audience, just full of complete hatred, in a long, long time. They called me ‘You fucking faggot. Dyke. Queer. Cunt. Fuck you. You suck. Faggot. Cunt.’ 30 minutes straight, nonstop abuse. And it wasn’t just two or three of them, either. It was entire chunks of the audience.”
Did she continue playing?
“Yeah, because if you walk off the stage, they win. What I did was, I took out a few of the more quiet, vulnerable songs, because this was not a listening audience. And instead of playing 45 minutes, I played for 30 minutes. I ended with the song about the polar bears [that ate the Brooklyn kid], and then I stopped And I looked at the audience, and I talked to them. And I said [her voice is calm, but firm], 'Now, I’ve been called every name in the book tonight. So let’s talk a little about tolerance and acceptance in the world. Don’t you think people should be able to grow up and be whoever they are? Do you want somebody to tell you who you can and cannot be? I’m gonna dedicate this next song to you, ’cuz you’re the audience who needs to hear this.’ And I did “Take off Your Swastika,” the most passionate, burning version I think I’ve ever done in my life.
“The thing that really hurt me was that there were women yelling those things to me also. But in the end, I felt like I won, and it was good, because that’s what consciousness raising is, ya know. You don’t do a lot playing the real easy gigs. It’s great to play for people who love you, like on the women’s music circuit. But I feel that my job is to go out into the big world. Ya never know who you might reach out there.”
— Victoria Starr, “Folksingers, Amazons, and Other Tall Tales: An Interview with Phranc,” OutWeek Magazine No. 19, October 29, 1989, p. 38. Photo by Maria Perez.
tuesday status?
yup. its tuesday 👍
copy. tuesday confirmed ✅ engaging tuesday protocol
would you eat it
yes
no
behind the post: I found this while reading the wikipedia page for sandwich and after expending a nonzero amount of effort finding the actual image since it was replaced soon after the thread was made I was confronted by the fact that the sandwich i had just eaten looked identical to the so-called absurdly offensive image (if you replace the bologna with ham and remove the milk) so to this wikipedia user and ~280 of you I ask what's your problem with my lunch
i think people are starting to confuse class analysis with bioessentialism. like... no not all men do this, but Men as a constructed social class do do this. that's still okay to say. that is regular material analysis of the world around us.
(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)
one thing I've noticed about people who take issue with TMA/TME is that they always construct some fictional scenario whereby the TME person will be asked/preassured to disclose their TME status by the TMA person and how this is bad. This is extremely funny to me cuz not only is the inverse INFINETELY more common (afab only events, (TME) lesbian meetups, etc. the amount of TME queers who have asked me some variation of "so do you have a penis?" "are you a tranny or just a drag queen" "are those real?" *gesturing at my boobs*, is in the middling double digits) but also, every single TME person I've ever interacted with has made their TME status abundantly clear by the way they act around me/talk to me, usually within the first 10 minutes.
this tells me they both don't realize how they act around transfems and also that they don't talk to that many of us to begin with, if this hypothetical is something they believe is likely to happen.
Like, I don't need to ask you. you're gonna let me know wether I like it or not.
the thing about being alive rn is that there is just. so much violence everywhere you look. the invasive species eating up the sides of the roadways. those invasive plants mutating because of the lead in the soil. the roadkill. the car crashes. having to drive, whether or not you feel safe to, because you need to get to work, and it doesn't matter if your brain or body aren't fully online.
and it repeats itself everywhere, same song in a different key, when it comes to eating enough. when it comes to having autonomy over your body, your schedule, the food you eat, the work you do, access to green spaces, etc etc, over and over again. and you're just supposed to hear all of it and not scream.
bitches call my dick game weak bc my thrusts are uncoordinated and sloppy and i keep losing my erection thinking about the ramifications of the maze