poetry

Hrishika | Contradictions | anxiety | 19 | INFJ | bookworm | music|reader by day | writer by night|

[theoxymoronicheart]

it's been almost a year since i last wrote a poem.

today i cry as i scroll through my Instagram feed,

distributing hearts to beautiful people,

my body now refuses to carry my burdens.

i fainted today and it felt cold.

i craved for warmth.

i like the sky.

my camera roll speaks of the love i have.

the moon is my best friend.

you see, it never complains,

and it is as lonely as i am.

we are two loners, separated by

some thousand light years.

yet close enough.

nothing has changed since i wrote my last poem.

it's the same.

it has always been.

i was trying to test the waters.

now i am neck-deep in it.

~ ramblings of a conflicted mind.

[theoxymoronicheart]

what will you do when I'll die?

will you still say that we have got enough time?

will you have explanations for your absence on my deathbed?

will you come to kiss me for one last time?

will you take my cold body in your arms and cry my name?

will you stay silent rather?

will you come, visit the grave where I'll lie until my useless body is fed upon by thousands of parasites?

will you write an eulogy, expressing your love, when you weren't there while I breathed my last?

will you forget me when I'll be gone?

will you pack away our memories, my letters, that ring which you gave me, and a piece of your heart, all inside a box and burn them on my pyre?

will you still love me when I'll not be around?

will your pillow be stained with tears of longing?

will you think of me each morning while your eyes see the first ray of the sun?

will death be the end for us?

will you let it to be?

will you?

[theoxymoronicheart]

each night i lie on my bed,

staring at the ceiling,

at the hundred cobwebs,

on the pale white corners,

my mind starts playing games,

building imaginary funerals,

of people I love,

with the same intricacy,

that of the spider's.

I lie there,

and i feel tears forming,

at the corners of my eyes.

my lover asks me why i feel,

why do i feel this way?

what do i tell him?

i ponder on these questions

each night i lie on my bed,

staring at the ceiling,

questions i have not known answers to,

but my therapist says it gets better,

yes, it does eventually,

it does because you get used to it.

i tell him. it's nothing.

he knows it's a lie.

and he goes on and on and on,

to reveal the truth.

alas, I wish I could.

I wish he could see me

on those days when I bang my heads

and my hands on doors

and razors respectively.

no, he shouldn't.

i cry like a maniac,

i am ready to go to bed

i step inside my bathroom

i stare at my steam-soaked

foggy reflection

on the mirror

and burst out crying

with my hand in my mouth

the teeth clenching,

giving out soft whimpering sounds

of a dog than those loud growls,

so that no one can hear them.

I end up with another battlescar instead.

[theoxymoronicheart]

Acceptance 💛

I hope you find acceptance.The kind that runs in your veins and your bones. The kind that lets you being wild and bold. The kind that silences your monsters and fears. The kind that protects your indomitable fire.

_

I hope you forgive yourself - for the mistakes you have made, and for the past you keep alive inside of you.

I hope you learn to let go- of all the things you did in order to feel a bit more alive, the things you did in order to survive.

_

You are a wildflower, unique and unforgettable, the one that grows in places they never expected.

You are doing your best. Remember that.

_

I hope you find the kind of moments that take your breath away. The kind of moments that inspires you to live and love and laugh. I hope you travel to your heart's content. I hope you connect with the small things- your morning coffee, some old music , eight hours of sleep, coming home to a warm meal , cuddles of the one you love. I hope you find happiness in your daily, mundane life , I hope you'll learn to value your existence .

_

I hope you surround yourself with the kind of friends that encourage your spontaneity, that are always there for you. I hope that amidst all these you'll learn to be kind.

Kind to your very own self as well as to others.

_

You are the snow flakes, pure and white

or lilies, tulips and dahlias

of eclectic shades ..

_

You are the unique myriad hues of the sun..

The turquoise, the purple and the pink..

You are the greens that make up the whole forest ..

_

You are the thousand fireflies ..

Trying to bright up a dark night...

_

I sincerely hope you'll live.

_

I hope you'll not succumb to all the fuckin' shit that's been going on.

I hope you'll go out and dance again in the downpour of clouds..

_

But most of all, I hope you find yourself out there. I hope you figure out your heart, I hope you'll learn to embrace and love

The way you do to others..

I hope you'll learn to love yourself all the same way.

I hope you'll learn to choose yourself.

[theoxymoronicheart]

Dreams ✨ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . #calligraphyislove #calligraphy #copperplatecalligraphy #letters #wordsofwisdom #inked #calligraphyart #calligraphypractice https://www.instagram.com/p/B-bDAjcpgJH/?igshid=19u6hnk9tubya

[theoxymoronicheart]

Rain 🌧️ . . . . . . . . . . . #rainbow #rain #thoughts #poems #poemsofinstagram #quotes #justbreathe https://www.instagram.com/p/B99zkezJvW8/?igshid=1kkjbevddg1vr

[theoxymoronicheart]

The days when I can't study..

The days when I feel the loneliest..

The days when I am broken..

I write..

Pages and pages of poetry..

That doesn't make any sense to you..

But may be they mean a world to me..

Sometimes..

I sketch a world..

So painful and heart-wrenching..

It might make you say, "What a depressed being she is !"

I write ..

I scratch..

I scribble..

I decorate the corners..

With doodles and your name..

Across mine ..

I paint ..

Quotes on my palms and wrist..

Instead of bruises and cuts..

Words that stain the

Knobs of the doors..

I try to open..

In the false hopes ..

Of finding the 'me from the past'..

The one you loved..

The one who used to be a...

Little different..

Happy and complete..

The one who wasn't ..

Broken...

I crave her..

And the dreams that shone ..

like the stars..

in her eyes..

Sometimes..

I find myself to be an imperfect piece..

Of 'Kintsugi'...

My scars shining then, like the..

Precious gold..

My brokenness adding more value ..

To my worth..

[theoxymoronicheart]

Embrace and love ♥️

[theoxymoronicheart]

I love you ..but can't have you ❤️

#notmyquotejustanedit

[theoxymoronicheart]

[theoxymoronicheart]

Lately, I have found solace in these words...

After an arduous day ..

I come home to find them waiting for me..

Just as I left them...

On the pages of my diary ..

Lying wide awake on a wintry night..

Or on the pages of my favorite sonnet..

On a tired summer morning...

Ready to make me smile..

Love, care, comfort and peace ..

Words have given me everything..

Unlike people..

Words never hurt you..

Huamns do..

[theoxymoronicheart]

POETRY

If I tell you the truth..

I don't want to write poetry anymore..

Instead I want to be one..

I'd love my lips to curve like metaphors in smile..

And my eyes to blink as the rhyming scheme in the poems of yours and mine..

The curls of my hair would form the words that play with the hearts of the readers..just as they play with the mist and wind..

My deep brown eyes and my thoughts will be an oxymoron staging contradictions on the white platform..

My spine would form the Japanese haiku..

Each bone in it alluding to the syllables in rhythm..

Million stories hidden under those

folded eyelids

Unraveling at each blink..

I want to be a love poem..

The ones which Byron wrote to his lover..

Calling her eloquent and innocent..

Or the sonnets that Elizabeth wrote to Browning...

Expressing her unconditional love

The painful ballads depicting the

darkness and storms inside you..

The depression..

The anxiety..

The tears ..

I want to be the words that can describe all your fears ...

The limerick ..

which you love enough

To give place in that leather bounded journal of yours..

And the motivational quote

that helps you stand ..

each time you fall ..

I want to be all of that..

I want to be a poem..

No more the one who writes it ..

Because...

People,they fall in love

more often with poems,

than they do with poets...

[inritum]

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

[ghostdog07]

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

[deathklaue]

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

[doryishness]

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

[victoriaringsinyourears]

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

[lenshade]

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

[themixedbagofwhat]

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

[wodkat]

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

[acstiel]

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

[juststrokemyglabella]

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

[adweeb-deactivated20160228]

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

[mydeadcarcass]

I WISHED FOR SNK MERCH THE FIRST TIME. I GOT A JACKET.

I WISHED FOR MY GIRLFRIEND THE SECOND TIME. I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

[openyourthird-eye]

THIS WORKs I WISHED I WAS MOVING TO NORTH CAROLINA AND GUESS WHAT GUYS IM MOVING TO NC IN AUGUST I PROMISE U IM NOT LYING

[ariya-art]

guys ok ur probably thinking that this is all just bs right? WELL I THOUGHT SO TOO BUT I WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD CHAT ME AND HE DID AND IM FREAKING OUT not even kidding i swear on my grampas grave this works

[haihl-blog]

I love this it always works for me yey thank u shooting star :’)

[phoxae]

woah the notes let’s hope my wish comes true

[theoxymoronicheart]

😉❤️

[booksquoteslife]

“Isn’t it odd how much fatter a book gets when you’ve read it several times? As if something were left between the pages every time you read it. Feelings, thoughts, sounds, smells…and then, when you look at the book again many years later, you find yourself there, too, a slightly younger self, slightly different, as if the book had preserved you like a pressed flower…both strange and familiar.” - Cornelia Funke, The Inkheart

[theoxymoronicheart]

[theoxymoronicheart]

Unlove 💔

I found you again..

After all these months..

Of contemplations and contradictions..

I found you again..

I found you..

Hiding deep inside ..

In the pages of my red-checkerd diary..

Drenched in my favorite black ink...

Yes ..

The white sheets still smells of you..

And each metaphor in it alludes to you ...

Only you..

I don't bother to..

check the dates..

But go on reading again and again..

Only to find myself ...

Immersed and lost..

In your beautiful brown eyes..

And in the deep ocean that it once led me to..

The ocean of love..

And constant care..

I was lost again ..

In your deep,long stare..

In the backyard abyss of time..

When you were always there, by my side..

And the faded memories ...

Came back too..

The moments..

The fights..

The pain ..

The scoldings..

And those nights..

Tears..

And smiles..

Those 'passes' and your 'handwritten notes'..

And the 'scribbles'..

The intermingling of our thoughts..

And the intertwining of our hands..

Are all kept preserved..

In my little heart..

As a souvenir of my love..

Turning these to ashes...

Would be the last thing in my mind..

I can't even make the little blood-pumping organ inside my tired body..

Forget you ...

The veins and my mind..

Are all conquered..

Innumerous times..

My mind's

Constant reminders..

And your texts ...

Have forced me to stop loving you ..

Slashes and blood..

They too..

But this one-sided affection ...

grows and blooms...

In the tears and ..

the twinkling of the stars..

The nostalgia engulfs me..

Each time our eyes are locked..

My heart beats faster..

In rhythm..

With the countless thoughts..

in my frozen mind..

I try each day ...

To let you go..

But I keep finding you

Again

and again..

In my diary..

And my books from school

In your texts as well as mine..

My tear-stained pillow ..

In that crumpled white shirt..

My heart..

And my soul..

It's too hard..to unlove you..