Professional Procrastinator

If you're following me, I formally apologize. I too am hip and happening and with it so I like things like TV shows and movies and webseries and music and soccer and rugby and art and.... Listen I'm just a 26y gay disaster and my computer screen is brighter than my future

[hopeless-eccentric]

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

[kushblazer666]

[i-miss-poptropica]

Ex

exCUSE me??

[toastyyrye]

First time smut writer: Um. Hope this is OK? It's only a bit of smut at the very end of the epilogue and you can skip it, it's ok. So sorry, um. Oh dear me. Please don't judge me. Nobody read this omg what have I done 😳

Seasoned smut writer: *ringing bell* Come get uR PORNOGRAPHY! 10k pwp, it's KINKY AS HECK so share it with all your friends!!! If you've got any suggestions for my Kinktober just drop it in the comments, I will write whatever wet, messy & DOWNRIGHT FILTHY fic about these two idiots 👏

[ineffablepretzel]

First time smut reader: I'd better read this as a guest so it's not in my history. I'm never telling anyone about this. Oh my god, how do people dare to comment, I could never.

Seasoned smut reader:

[prokopetz]

Every time someone tries to explain the metaplot of Supernatural to me, it basically ends up sounding like redneck Dragon Ball Z. I’m sure there’s some nuance I’m failing to grasp here.

[kazorus-deactivated20190626]

Care to elaborate on that?

…I’m not even offended, just absolutely curious.  From the stuff I’ve seen and heard about Supernatural I can’t see the connection.

[prokopetz]

Mostly, I get the impression of a show that doesn’t know how not to escalate.

Every threat’s gotta be quantitatively bigger and badder than the one that came before. Every deus ex machina’s gotta be shinier than the last one. Every season’s gotta end with a massive eleventh-hour powerup for our heroes, only for the next season to raise the stakes enough to put them back in the underdog position.

It’s like, you beat the Devil himself? Well, now you’ve gotta fight the Devil’s cousin Phil, who has conveniently gone entirely unmentioned up until now, but he’s totally twice as evil.

[prokopetz]

That last paragraph was literally supposed to be the most ridiculous hypothetical example I could think of, and people are messaging me to say “his name was Metatron, not Phil”. I can’t even make fun of this show.

[sawed-on-shotgun]

being a teenager is basically just half a decade of "ugh I hate myself I hate my life I hate my parents nothing is fair everyone is mean the world is cruel I'm tired of it!! but idk i guess every teenager has this phase and I'll probably grow out of it and understand when I'm older" and getting older and realizing you should have been even angrier and more violent. And then people forget this as soon as they have kids

[dragon-in-a-fez]

one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"

the fact that this reference was that fucking precise was something they went on to tell people about for years.

[oganneb]

Emil is my "yup this is real wool" detector. It's only real wool that he goes this nuts over

[unicornery]

[shiverandqueeef]

if you aren't best friends with your lover and a little bit in love with all your friends than what's the fucking point

[hylianane]

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[sailermoon]

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

[molabuddy]

3 hours of sleep = i hate people who laugh

0 ours of sleep = waouw 🌼🌼🌼🌼🐎

[konohahater]

‪hozier was right. “about what?” you might ask. well that is just between me and him. mind your business‬

[annabelle--cane]

my thing with ryan gosling is that he's handsome enough that I forget he can actually act until I periodically see a movie he's in every two or three years and I remember there's actually at least two reasons he gets consistent work. it's a delightful surprise every time, it's wonderful.

[omtai]

Normal groceries like milk or bread or whatever running out is whatever. Just anotha day. But when stuff like salt or cooking oil or rice runs out it feels like You’re supposed to be here for me and you’re leaving. You’re just like everyone else

[annabelle--cane]

has anyone ever thought about what might happen if two fictional characters kissed . I just wondered if there'd been any research on this or anything

[thevampirecrow]

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

[drizzledrawings]

Sometimes the ship aint your taste but the freaks who create the art for it are so goddamn skilled that you end up liking it by proxy... and thats truly what fandom is about