A Mess

Tendra Rose They/Them Aro/Ace/Agender

[chromaticrainarts]

Eridian scientists proceed to stuff Grace's face with meburgers until Rocky stops screaming

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[whitachi]

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

[araceil]

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

[negativepeanuthoarder]

As an aroace person I actually never had that feeling of being broken. I thought everyone was the same way and some people were just dramatic 😭

[negativepeanuthoarder]

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY THATS EXACTLY HOW I FELT WATCHING ATTACK OF THE CLONES FOR THE FIRST TIME LMAOOOOO 😭😭😭😭

[queerical]

[ID: #every time a book character was like woe is me i can't love them it's forbidden #ok? then don't? skill issue /END ID]

[tlirsgender]

Me: I love bees :) they’re very important for the ecosystem and they’re cute and make honey

A bee: buzz

Me, shaking and crying: please don’t hurt me

[templepriest-motherfucker]

Say it with me folks:

“Eat the rich” means 1%ers and billionaires

middle class is closer to poverty than being a multimillionaire

“The rich” does NOT include children of billionaires (come on we’re at least slightly better than the plagues of Egypt)

Upper middle class children SHOULD NOT feel guilt over having money

Being aware of privilege and using your privilege to help others IS NOT a guilt trip

Constantly feeling guilty helps no one

Billionaires, however, should feel guilty over hoarding wealth.

Upper middle class is NOT rich

Black Lives Matter

Trans rights are human rights

[kelila-rivka]

My uncle was one of the top surgeons in the country. He was upper middle class definitely. When he got cancer, his insurance didn’t cover all the treatments he would need and after 5 years he drained his savings on cancer treatments (while still working most of that time) and eventually died because he couldn’t afford the expensive treatments that might have saved him.

If you are upper middle class and you get sick, it will likely bankrupt your family. It’s fucked.

[olddukeofficial]

For all of the idiots in the notes ^

[dancinbutterfly]

Honest to god - even if you make 6 figures a year? you're closer to poverty than true wealth. Check your shit and remember who your real allies and enemies are guys.

[uvradical]

A 6 figure income is a lot right? That’s say: 223,000 dollars a year Which is 112 dollars an hour. Most people would consider that upper middle class. That’s enough money to have a nice house, go on fun vacations. That’s slight more than the average doctor makes.

223,000 dollars is what Jeff Bezo makes in a minute

the well-off and the rich are not the same. 

[satyriconmp3]

[byjove]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is…evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The spiritual successor to Miette

[manicgoblinnightmarewoman]

Might I also add

[shydestinybread]

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

[unyanizedcatboys]

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

[explorerrowan]

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from “i can has”. Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they’re talking about.

[dualclock]

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she’s been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

[notcaycepollard]

[callmebliss]

Can haz snackytreat

[ladyshinga]

(source)

[dogsrulepeopledrool]

Source

[fandom]

This post is the most reblogged post of the year! Congratulations!

[byjove]

We did it Tommy!

[continuants]

Tommy!!!!! Tommy is the VIP!!!!!!

[smilingstark]

ok but imagine peter not caring about his secret identity anymore and not making any effort to conceal it yet absolutely no one finds out he’s spiderman. peter wears the suit under his pants and a jacket but literally no one notices. he only gets a ‘cool shirt dude’ from a student he doesnt know. he does the iconic spiderman shooting-webs-from-his-hands pose in every single picture. no one says a word. he enters the classroom through the window. just as him, not spiderman. the classroom is on the second floor. no one cares.

[las-lus]

Sounds like college

[ultralaser]

“man that peter guy really likes spider man, i hope he gets to meet him someday”

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Sometimes I think about Harry Potter and how heavily it was implied that Tom Riddle was evil because he couldn't feel love because of his mother's actions and how no matter what Rowling claims, the foundation of her works has always been built on the idea that "good" and "evil" are innate and can't be changed through personal choice.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

I like tomarry and time travel fics that involve adoption and friendship because they challenge what "evil" really means in the HP universe, the ways that a person changes when given love and support. Love can't "fix" someone, but it sure as hell makes a difference in the person they become.

The premise of Voldemort's existence is that Tom Riddle was born rotten. We're told this when we find out about his parents and how he was conceived. We're told this when we find out about his actions in the orphanage, how he treated the other children. We're told this when we find out about the things he did in Hogwarts.

Over and over, we're told that Tom Riddle is inherently evil and cruel and that nothing could fix that.

And over and over, we're also shown that not a single person tried and that everything Tom did was in direct response to a world that actively and violently rejected him, a world that treated him as a monster from birth. When you're told that you can never be anything but evil for as long as you can remember, why would you try?

Rowling is very skilled at mixing showing and telling in her works. Unfortunately for her, the contrast between the messages she tells us and the messages she shows us make her actual feelings crystal clear.

[sirartwork]

Because I’ve lost control of my life

[sirartwork]

reblog for the blessed 100k

[sirartwork]

[morinokunikara]

[snelbz]

IVE ONLY HEARD WHISPERS OF THIS POST

[timeclonemike]

A classic image.

[tikkety-tok]

This is what Rasputin would've wanted.

[teaboot]

I feel like I'm being seduced like one of those fancy rainforest birds

[fruitpilled]

is it working

[teaboot]

Yes

[magnuspool]

[deathbutwithfuzzyanimals]

I can’t tell if this is gender envy or vibe envy but I envy this man

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

phineas and ferb quarantine episode where candace is convinced that this time her mom will see what the boys are doing because nobody can even leave the house but somehow linda is always in the wrong room

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

AAH, PERRY the PLATYPUS! I suppose you’re wondering about my evil plan. Well, you see, when I was a child in Gimulshtump, I was quarantined for several months, 

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

phineas: we turned ourselves into holograms so that we can still hang out with our friends while social distancing. later candace! *he and ferb fade out of view* 

candace: mOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoM!!!!!!!!! 

[whereforeartthougender]

Okay, but the thing with Perry and Doof becomes a lot funnier when you remember that Perry, being a platypus, is immune to the virus.

So imagine Doof monologuing over Zoom, secure in the knowledge that Perry the Platypus can’t possibly thwart him over a video call, when Perry disappears from the frame. As he ponders where his nemesis could have gone, Perry plummets onto Doof’s balcony and socks him one in the jaw.

Doof: What?! Perry the Platypus?! What are you doing? You shouldn’t be out here! There’s a quarantine going on, in case you haven’t noticed!

Perry: *platypus noise*

Doof: Oh, right, you’re a platypus, and this is a human virus, so… You know, I don’t really know how I forgot that.

[obsidiancreates]

Perry makes sure to do a full decontamination on his way home, to make sure Phineas and Ferb don’t get any potential virus particles on them after petting him and picking him up.

[lazygravez]

at one point while doof and perry are fighting doof goes “wait! i forget to put on my mask” and perry stops punching him to let him put on his mask then they just go back to fightung

[phantomchick]

The spirit of the show really does live on

[necroticcoffee]

Found important lore on tiktok of all places

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

OWCA deadass said “yo Heinz we’re sending a platypus to kick your ass. his name is Perry xoxo”

[joemerl]

I always assumed that it happened like this:

Perry: (crashes through window)

Doofenshmirz: A platypus?!

Perry: (puts on hat)

Doofenshmirz: A—platypus wearing a fedora?!

(Perry hands Doofenshmirtz a business card. Doofenshmirtz puts on his reading glasses.)

Doofenshmirz: (gasps) PERRY the Platypus!

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

I hate how in-character this is

[ke5trel-deactivated20211114]

[spookcataloger]

[silly-slacker-person]

[sugarcoatednightshade]

Holy Trinity

[catchymemes]

[little-miss-rasputin-pageant]

the poetic cinema in the movie Holes when it shows Kate Barlow in the schoolhouse and drops of water are falling on the book she’s reading and you think the roof is leaking again even though Sam fixed it but then it shows that it’s actually because she’s crying and then Sam walks in and looks at her tear stained face with the softest expression and says, “i can fix that.”

[little-miss-rasputin-pageant]

[blanketfortarchitect]

The subplot of Holes was hands down the greatest love story of our generation

[black-girl-against-feminism]

Had me shook as a kid

[lovecoralei]

Hot take, but if you see your baby struggle through five hours of homework and then you get pissy because they drag their feet about doing chores? You need to reevaluate.

[lovecoralei]

Like I’m not saying kids shouldn’t be taught responsibility and shown how to keep their house clean. I’m just saying maybe children get tired and frustrated too. Like. Your teenager doesn’t have an “attitude”. She’s just had 7 hours of school and then came home to do 5 more hours. Then, her parents implied she was lazy because she hadn’t gotten around to doing the laundry. I’d snap at you too.

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

PREACH.