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@thestarsave44
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Project Hail Mary breaks Chekhov's Gun in a quite literal way because it introduces the fact that there's a gun on board the Hail Mary and then it's never brought up again.
Stolen from reddit, full credit to i-max95
MITCH MCCONNELL DOWN
[PHM comic] Dr Captain Ryland Grace’s Fuzzy Memories…
finally figured out how to upload more than 10 pictures on here ! hope it's not too wonky...
outfit for when you have an unimaginable amount of misunderstandings every day
the second radish is 29 feet away
Some days I feel like I’m 29 feet away from a Japanese radish
what happens when someone throws a bbq block party and doesn’t invite you, the neighborhood wizard
PRETTY GOOD, IT DOESN’T SEEM
goddamnit do i have to go get a degree from wizard academy now just to get a shitass job??
Northernlion if he was a Wizard
When are you gonna do wizard stuff? You've been etching that same spell array for the last 5 streams lmao
"When am I gonna do wizard stuff? You're watching it right now man. This is it."
you should hunt more demons again
Laughs "Look man, that was last month. This is now. You gotta understand the role of violence in the cycle if you're ever going to thread the needle of your will into the tapestry of fate."
So are you not gonna accept ManaMuncher2003's wizard duel challenge?
"Okay first of all, I don't even know who this guy is. Second of all, you gotta remember that wizard duels are fought across the entirety of reality and the victor is decided long before the challenge is ever issued. But I guess no one ever taught you that."
you're calling us stupid lol
"No I'm just saying that there's a reason why I'm the one doing spells and you're the one watching me from your mom's laptop. No shame or anything."
fuck you and your entire mage guild you shitty hedge witch
"Alright buddy, you're getting annoying. Mods, send this guy to the mind prison where he has to fight a shadow doppelganger representing his deepest insecurities to escape"
NL's never shown us his shadow demon because we know he'd have hair
Failing to hold back laughter "Okay to be fair to that last guy, I gotta send you to the mind prison too. But I'm gonna give you thirty seconds to find a weapon to bring in with you because I have to admit that one was pretty funny"
hey guys is there a nice wizard on tumblr or is it only the evil one
it’s just me
Every morning, the queen asked her magic mirror to show her the most beautiful person in the world.
The mirror replied "To whom?"
"The miller who made the flour for my bread," the queen would say, or "Whoever spun the thread my shawl was made of".
The mirror would show her, and she'd be amazed.
The first time, she says "To me," and the mirror dutifully shows her her reflection. And she is pleased.
The second time, she says "To the King," and she is pleased to see herself once more.
The third time, she says "To the Royal Advisor," and is once more satisfied to see herself.
The fourth time, she says "To the scribe who takes the King's letters." She is shown the man's wife. And she seethes, but quiets herself, for it is only right that a man loves his wife.
The fifth time, she says "To the Court Wizard," and is shown the man's departed mother as he remembers her from his youth, radiant and smiling and warm and larger than life.
The tenth time, she says "To the Stable Master," and is shown the fastest horse in the stable, majestic and free as the wind even in captivity
"To the baker," she is shown the man's daughter, young and adorable and full of joy and laughter.
"To the artist who did my portrait," she is shown a painting of a woman done by the man's teacher, who he still looks up to now that he is well established himself.
"To the Royal Knight," she is surprised but not displeased to see the castle's entire guard force in the middle of doing drills.
The one hundredth time she asks the mirror, and it asks her "to whom?" she once again says, "To me." And she does the same the one hundred and second, and again and again and again.
It is a different person each time, and they are all beautiful.
[image description: an edited scene from the princess bride of prince humperdink speaking to a crowd. he says, “my people! among us!” they cheer. he says, “sus!” and they cheer again.]
ඞඞඞඞඞඞඞඞ
What I’d give for one of the Cinderella remakes to go into how when you’re in an isolated and abusive situation, sometimes you need to be saved and you’re not weak if you can’t escape by yourself
I’ve never been a fan of bad faith reinterpretations of fairy tales, especially ones which flatten the originals into “princesses is saved by a prince and nothing else”, to then go #girlboss. The princess can save herself because she’s a strong female character! (Implying if you’re in a bad situation, it’s because you’re not strong enough to get out)
Also the concept of the Prince over the course of like… a couple hours hanging out with Cinderella going from ‘Haha nice I really like you’ to ‘oh fuck i can tell from context clues alone that your home situation is FUCKED UP’ it’s good shit ‘I have just met you but ON GOD I’m gonna get you out of there beautiful mystery woman’ cinderella makes desperately yelling into the night ‘how can I find you again!??!’ when she’s taking off that much more poignant really
He’s been trained to read the room. To read the context clues. To read politics and scheming and planning and people. He’s a Prince, it’s either that or accidentally drink poison by age 15. And he reads her and …
She’s impossibly wealthy. The dress isn’t a fabric he can recognize, but it’s beaded with cut diamonds, faintly milky opals that shimmer with a rainbow, little pale aquamarines, and somewhere are little bells gently ringing with each step - he’s a Prince and he can’t afford to dress like that. The slippers ring too … there is nothing like that crafted by the hands of humans. That’s fairy stuff. She has an in with them that eclipses royal politics. She is powerful in the Old Ways.
All this wraps around the poorest woman he’s ever seen in his entire life, and he’s seen some very, very, poor people in his time.
Poor in money, but poor in “oh you poor thing!” as well. This is someone who has been robbed blind. This is someone who carried themselves waiting for the lash, for a browbeating, for harsh, cruel, abrupt, punishment.
He expects her to be haughty, or hard, or meek or… something else… but she’s just nice. She’s just … nice.
The rigid posture comes out of his back, his tongue unsticks. She’s like sitting by the embers of a low, calm, fire. He feels warmed and rested simply speaking to her. He wonders if it’s magic, and it might be, but if it is it is magic that is her own.
And that terrifies him, because he’s trained to see these things and he knows someone with a cruel hand is waiting to douse her, and snuff her, and beat the last glimmer out of her shining eyes - eyes that put that dress to shame and and and and… she’s gone.
Oh god, she’s gone. It will be all over her sweet, kind, warm face that she transgressed and … oh god they’ll kill her, whoever they are. This will embarrass them and if there’s anything he knows, it’s that you don’t humiliate someone who has power over you and walk away unscathed.
And all he has is a fairy slipper that will only ever fit her foot (it’s not merely shoe size, it’s a kind of spiritual fit as well), and the vain hope that he can keep such a bright light from burning out. It doesn’t even touch his heart that what he’s feeling is a kind of pure philia, not until it enraptures him soul to bones, all at once. Oh god, oh no, oh shit… he’s reached well above his station, but…he can try to be good and worthy.
The way he sees it, sometimes even the strongest people can be brought low and need just… a little help. She had enough in her to do whatever she had to do to free herself of those evil relations if she had to, but she shouldn’t have to. There’s no glory in blood. Sometimes it’s okay for the ending to be happily ever after.
[id: two digital paintings of Cinderella and her prince in shades of blue. The first has a collection of Cinderella saying slightly alarming things: (wistfully) “I don’t think I remember the last time I went out”; (terrified) “I-I must go. If I get home after midnight…”; (shyly proud) “I’d been working on a dress for months in secret.”
The second features the prince kneeling and looking at her lost shoe. ”The woman I was dancing with… the one the shoe fits. I need to find her.”]/end id.
[id: awe and rainbow reaction image done in MS paint]/end id.
(british lady from hitman voice) Elon Musk eliminated. Good job, 47. Your next target, Jeff Bezos.
Some achievement/feat ideas
“Yep, Still Does Nothing To Me” Kill Elon Musk with a poison laced marijuana joint
Amazon Grace Snipe Jeff Bezos from the church tower
Actually, Tesla Was The Doctor Steer Elon Musk’s self-driving Tesla to run him over
Prime Delivery Kill Jeff Bezos by dropping a grenade through the chimney into his room
I Like This Color Way Better Cause Elon Musk’s gory death by removing the forklift safety guidelines
You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? Throw Jeff Bezos into his 10,000 Year Clock
Alexa, Kill This Clown Electrocute Jeff Bezos with his own Amazon Alexa
Just Like His Kars Launch Elon Musk into space
Spac-Ex Actually, let Grimes launch Elon Musk into space
Wage Against The Machine Let Jeff Bezos be trampled to death by the angered mob
Appease the Masses Guillotine both targets
#twitter sucks cause you wouldnt be able to post this there
Somebody at work keeps adjusting one of the perimeter cameras to have this beautiful artistic angle on the museum in a historical building across the way. The sun sets just behind it and the whole sky turns golden-blue, clouds streaked across the sky above. The lush tree line beneath the museum is perfectly lined up along the rule of thirds and the building itself towers above, almost mythical in its evening glory. Like damn, take a still from this camera and send it to the museum to frame and hang on their wall. I do need the camera to be pointing at the parking lot. Tho
The setting sun bounces off the skyscrapers downtown and hits the museum's windows and every one of them turns the same golden hue as the sky behind, reflected in the trees just starting to turn golden-orange beneath. The bottoms of the clouds take on the slightest tinge of purple and birds circle above, speckling the evening sky as they call autumn's last farewell. Someone's car got broken into in the parking lot last week, Tammy, point the damn camera at the cars