The Vega Edit

This blog is about dating, self-respect, and mastering feminine energy. Learn how to stop chasing, embrace your worth, and let the right men come to you inspired by the wisdom of Sherry Argov, Shera Seven, and Dr. Patricia Allen. 👑 Here, we don’t beg. We attract. 💡 Get ready to step into your power. Follow now!

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The Real Reason You Can’t Walk Away After Sleeping With Him

Attraction Principle #11:

Being right on the verge of getting something generates a desire that has to be satisfied. Ever notice how the moment something is just out of reach, it suddenly becomes irresistible? That’s human nature—desire thrives on anticipation. A man will chase what he almost has because the thrill isn’t in possession—it’s in pursuit.

But the second you hand yourself over on a silver platter, the game is over. No more excitement, no more chase. That’s when he pulls back—not because he doesn’t want you, but because he no longer has to want you.

For years, I rejected this idea. I used to roll my eyes when people told me, “Men respect women who don’t give it up easily.” I thought, This isn’t the 1960s. Men sleep around, and no one judges them. Why shouldn’t women do the same? My mom used to warn me about looking “too available,” and I scoffed. If I want to sleep with someone, why shouldn’t I? We’re both adults, we’re having fun—what’s the problem?

But then, reality hit. The problem starts when you catch feelings. When your body betrays you. When biology fails you.

Because biology is sexist.

Women release oxytocin during sex—the same hormone that bonds mothers to their newborns. It’s the hormone that makes us feel connected, attached, and emotionally invested. The more we’re intimate with someone, the more we crave them—not just emotionally, but chemically. We get addicted, not to the man himself, but to the oxytocin high he triggers in us.

Meanwhile, men don’t experience this hormonal response in the same way. Their bodies don’t attach through sex the way ours do. So while we’re bonding, they can be detaching. While we’re craving, they can be distancing.

This isn’t about shame. There’s a time and place for everything, and no one should dictate how a woman expresses her sexuality. But it’s about awareness. About recognizing that we are wired differently and understanding the consequences—not just the cultural ones, but the biological ones.

So, the question isn’t “Should I sleep with him?” The real question is: “Can I handle the way my body will react if I do?”

Because sometimes, the danger isn’t in the act itself—it’s in what comes after.

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🌹 The Art of Boundaries: A Love Letter to Self-Respect 🌹 The First Time I Heard the Word "Boundaries"

I remember the first time someone uttered the phrase, "It sounds like you might benefit from setting some boundaries."

I was sitting in my therapist’s office, my hands folded neatly in my lap, my mind unraveling at the edges. I tilted my head in quiet confusion.

Boundaries?

The word felt foreign, unfamiliar—like a language I had never been taught.

"I don’t think I know what that means," I admitted, my voice small, almost embarrassed.

For a long time, I thought love meant erasing myself.

Growing Up Without Boundaries

I grew up in a house where doors stayed open, in a home where space was a luxury we couldn’t afford.

My sister and I shared a room, our lives intertwined in a way that left little room for personal identity. Clothes were handed down, not chosen.

I learned to take what was given. To adapt. To make do.

Privacy was a concept reserved for people with more doors to close, more corners to retreat into.

My mother’s love, though fierce, was overbearing, smothering. My father’s voice, loud and unyielding, made no feel like a crime.

In a home where survival came before comfort, the idea of saying no—of drawing a line and expecting it to be respected—felt almost laughable.

Boundaries? Boundaries Who?

In low-income households, boundaries often don’t exist.

When survival is the priority, personal space, emotional autonomy, and the right to say no get lost in the shuffle.

I grew up in a place where love meant sacrifice, where being "good" meant being agreeable, where pleasing others felt like the currency for belonging.

And then, one day, I found that I unknowingly carried that same mindset into my relationships.

How I Lost Myself in Love

I bent. I folded.

I contorted myself into smaller and smaller versions, hoping to fit into the space he offered me.

I said yes when I wanted to say no.

I rearranged my schedule, my needs, my entire existence—thinking that love was something I had to earn, not something that should already belong to me.

But here’s the thing: The moment you overextend yourself for love is the moment love starts slipping through your fingers.

Real Love Does Not Ask You to Disappear

Real love—deep, unwavering, soul-filling love—does not ask you to sacrifice yourself at the altar of someone else’s comfort.

It does not require you to become less so someone else can feel like more.

Boundaries are not walls. They are not ultimatums. They are not punishments.

They are declarations of self-worth.

A Love Letter to the Woman Who Gives Too Much

You are allowed to take up space.

You are allowed to say no without guilt.

You are allowed to be loved for who you are, not for how much you can endure.

The first time I set a boundary, my hands shook. My voice wavered. The fear of rejection clawed at my throat.

But the more I did it, the more I realized something profound—

The right people will respect your boundaries. The wrong ones will be removed by them.

And that is not your loss.

That is your freedom.

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Are You Too Nice? Relationship Quiz

(Answer with Yes or No)

Do you cancel plans with friends or rearrange your schedule for a guy, even if he makes last-minute plans?

Do you find yourself overly accommodating, always trying to please him even when it’s inconvenient for you?

Do you hesitate to express your needs because you don’t want to seem “difficult” or “needy”?

Do you avoid conflict by agreeing with him, even when you don’t actually agree?

Do you give more in the relationship than you receive and feel exhausted by it?

Do you constantly worry about whether he likes you or if you’re doing something wrong?

Do you make excuses for his bad behavior or lack of effort?

Do you feel like you need his validation to feel good about yourself?

Have you ever stayed in a situation that didn’t make you happy because you didn’t want to lose him?

Do you feel guilty when you put yourself first?

Results:

Mostly Yes: You’re likely being too nice, prioritizing his needs over yours. This can make you come across as overly accommodating rather than confident and desirable. Time to embrace your inner high-value woman and set stronger boundaries!

Mostly No: You maintain a good balance between kindness and self-respect. You know how to give without losing yourself. Keep it up!

50/50 Mix: You’re in a gray area—you might be nice, but you also have moments where you assert yourself. Strengthening your boundaries will help you stand more firmly in your power.

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✨ Men Don’t Fall for the Woman Who Gives Too Much

Attraction Principle #10:

When a woman doesn't give in easily and doesn't appear docile or submissive, it becomes more stimulating to obtain her.

In her book Getting to 'I Do', Dr. Patricia Allen emphasizes the importance of maintaining traditional masculine and feminine roles within relationships. She posits that every successful partnership consists of a leader (masculine energy) and a follower (feminine energy). According to Allen, a woman who embodies feminine energy should prioritize receiving over giving, allowing the man to take the lead. This dynamic aligns with the idea that men are natural pursuers or "hunters" in relationships. By not giving in easily and refraining from appearing overly docile or submissive, a woman presents a challenge, thereby stimulating a man's intrinsic desire to chase and obtain her. Allen suggests that such an approach not only respects traditional gender roles but also fosters a balanced and fulfilling relationship dynamic. Why Allen Supports Traditional Gender Roles:

Men Are Natural Chasers – Allen emphasizes that men thrive when they can pursue and provide. If a woman assumes a traditionally "masculine" role (chasing, initiating, leading), she disrupts the natural attraction dynamic, making the man feel unnecessary or even emasculated.

2. Feminine Energy Attracts Masculine Energy – She argues that when a woman embraces receptivity, softness, and the ability to let a man lead, she allows space for his masculine energy to emerge, which makes the relationship more fulfilling.

3. Balance Prevents Power Struggles – If both partners compete for dominance (both being in masculine energy), it leads to power struggles and disconnection. Similarly, if both are in feminine energy (passive, waiting to be led), nothing happens. She suggests that a clear balance of roles makes relationships smoother and more fulfilling.

4. It’s About Chemistry, Not Submission – Allen clarifies that embracing feminine energy doesn’t mean being weak or dependent. Instead, it means allowing the man to take action while the woman remains in a receptive position, creating the romantic chemistry needed for long-term commitment.

5. Men Need to Feel Useful – She points out that men derive confidence and purpose from providing, leading, and protecting. When a woman is too independent in a way that excludes men from fulfilling these roles, it can diminish attraction and motivation on his end. Allen’s Key Quote on This:

"If a woman is too giving, she robs a man of the opportunity to give to her. And if he can't give to her, he will stop investing in her."

TL;DR – She doesn’t argue that women should be weak or dependent, but rather that they should understand how gender polarity creates strong attraction and healthy relationship dynamics.

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The High-Value Woman’s Mindset: Dignity First, Always

Attraction Principle #9:

If the choice is between her dignity and having a relationship, the bitch will prioritize her dignity above all else.

Like I mentioned two posts earlier, I’m creating a life so full that a man has to earn a place in it.

📌 If you missed it, read it here: 🔗 The Unattractive Energy I Didn’t See

And that’s exactly the mindset you need.

Men respect women who respect themselves. When you let your dignity take a backseat to a relationship, you’re telling him that your worth depends on his presence. And trust me—that’s never attractive.

That’s why you put yourself first. Your goals, your glow-up, your money, your peace. When you make yourself the priority, men naturally work harder to fit into your life.

Who is Shera Seven & Why You Need to Know Her

If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ve probably seen me mention Shera Seven multiple times. And if you don’t know who she is, let me introduce you to her lore—because if you want to level up your mindset about men, money, and relationships, she’s a must-watch.

Shera Seven is a feminine strategy coach who teaches women how to navigate relationships from a position of power. She emphasizes that men naturally chase what they can’t fully have, and the moment you make yourself too available, too accommodating, or too eager, you lose your leverage.

Shera Seven’s Core Teachings:

✨ Men are providers. If he’s not providing, he’s not worth your time. ✨ Be the prize. You don’t chase men—they chase you. ✨ Always have options. Never invest in a man more than he invests in you. ✨ Stay mysterious. Never let a man feel like he has you 100%. ✨ Live your best life. A man should be an addition, not the goal.

📌 Watch her here: 🔗 Shera Seven YouTube Channel

The Bottom Line:

Dignity first, always. A man should never feel like he has you on lock. Your attention, time, and presence should be earned—not given freely.

💬 What do you think? Have you ever put a relationship before your dignity? How did it turn out? Let’s talk.

✨ Reblog & share your thoughts! ✨

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Rewiring My Mindset

Attraction Principle #7:

Act like a prize and you'll turn him into a believer. This isn’t easy. Unlearning old patterns takes real effort. It’s not just about acting like the prize—it’s about becoming her.

That means rewiring my thoughts, my emotions, and my entire way of moving through the world.

So now?

I’m shifting my focus. I’m building my business. I’m working on myself. I’m creating a life so full that a man has to earn a place in it.

Because the biggest lesson I’ve learned?

If you want to keep a man’s attention, you need to have a life so full that he has to work to be in it.

What about you? Have you ever made the mistake of giving too much? How did you change your mindset?

✨ Reblog & let’s talk about it. ✨

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The Unattractive Energy I Didn’t See

Attraction Principle #6:

It is your attitude about yourself that a man will adopt. I know better. I’ve seen enough Shera Seven videos to understand that if a man isn’t calling you, he’s not ignoring you—he’s just living his life.

And that means you should be living yours, too.

I should have been focusing on my own goals. Getting glammed up. Going out. Working on my business. Building my life. But instead, I was sitting around, overanalyzing his lack of texts.

And the worst part?

I started doubting myself.

What if he realizes I’m not that special? What if my nose is too big? What if I’m too broke, too unmotivated, too unsuccessful?

And here’s the thing about men: they sense that energy.

At first, they’ll reassure you. But eventually, the mist of attraction fades because you stopped believing you were the prize. And once you stop believing it, they do too.

Next post: Rewiring My Mindset—How I’m Moving Forward.

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The Hard Truth About Why He Left

Attraction Principle #8:

The biggest variable between a bitch and a woman who is too nice is fear. The bitch shows that she's not afraid to be without him. I wasn’t asking for too much. A call isn’t too much.

But what I did do was show him how badly I wanted it.

I let him see my frustration when he didn’t call. I let my insecurity creep in, convincing me that if I wasn’t in his schedule, I wasn’t in his life.

So I started making myself more available. I tried to fit into his life instead of living mine. And you know what happened?

He got used to me always being there. He knew I was waiting. He knew I would answer. He knew he had control.

And a man who has control isn’t chasing.

That’s when I realized—he didn’t stop prioritizing me because he was too busy.

He stopped prioritizing me because he didn’t have to earn my attention anymore. Next post: The Unattractive Energy I Didn’t See.

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The Mistake That Cost Me a Man Who Had It All

Attraction Principle #5:

If you start out dependent, it turns him off. But if it is something he cant have, it becomes more of a challenge for him to get it. I’m going to admit to a mistake I made recently. I was dating someone older—significantly older. And significantly wealthier.

He wasn’t stingy with his money, but his time? That was a different story. He had kids, businesses, and companies to run. His day started at 5 AM and didn’t slow down until 9 PM.

I remember sitting across from him in a luxury restaurant in Germany, sipping wine while he gave me a disclaimer:

“My kids will always come first. My businesses require me to always be on. I don’t have the luxury of a 9-to-5 schedule.”

At the time, I didn’t fully register what that meant. Or maybe I did, and I just didn’t want to accept it. Because the truth is, I wanted more of him. More time, more calls, more attention.

And that’s where I went wrong.

I thought if I could just make him used to me—cement myself into his schedule—he would make time for me. I thought if he saw how much I cared, he’d start prioritizing me.

But what actually happened?

I made myself too available. And without realizing it, I handed him all the power.

Follow for Part 2: The Hard Truth About Why He Left.

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Attraction 101: Confidence Over Desperation (pt 3)

Attraction Principle #4:

Sometimes a man deliberately won’t call just to see how you’ll respond.

This isn’t an accident—it’s a test. Men often gauge a woman’s confidence and emotional stability by how she reacts to silence or distance. Will she chase? Will she panic? Or will she stay calm, composed, and focused on herself?

When a man doesn’t call or text, the worst thing you can do is overreact. Calling or texting him repeatedly, questioning his intentions, or trying to force communication only shows that you’re emotionally dependent on his attention. Instead, remember this: confidence is silent.

What to Do When He Goes Silent

Don’t chase. If he hasn’t called, resist the urge to reach out. Let him wonder what you’re doing.

Keep busy. Focus on your own life—go to the gym, spend time with friends, or invest in your hobbies. When your life is full and exciting, his absence won’t faze you.

Maintain your value. Men are drawn to women who exude self-assurance. If he feels like he doesn’t have a 100% hold on you, he’ll work harder to earn your time and attention.

When He Finally Reaches Out

When he does call or text, avoid asking questions like:

“What kept you from reaching out?”

“Why haven’t I heard from you?”

“What have you been up to?”

If you ask him these questions, you’re signaling that his absence mattered to you—and that you were waiting for him. This shifts the power dynamic in his favor and makes him think he has control over your emotions. Instead, keep things light, polite, and nonchalant. Let him see that your life continues with or without him.

What NOT to Do:

Don’t write him poems.

Don’t tell him what he’s missing.

Don’t show up at his house.

These actions only reinforce that his call or text had a significant impact on your day. But you are not here to prove your worth to him. You are not here to convince him to care about you. Your energy is too valuable for that.

A Man’s Perspective

A man who deliberately doesn’t call is watching for your reaction. If you handle his silence with grace and independence, it sends a powerful message:

You’re not desperate for his attention.

You won’t crumble if he’s not around.

Your time is valuable, and you won’t tolerate games.

Sherry Argov says it best: “When you start thinking, ‘I haven’t heard from him,’ your goal is to make him think, ‘I haven’t heard from her.’”

Final Thoughts

Confidence means knowing your worth without needing external validation. When you respond to silence with calm self-assurance, you show that your world doesn’t revolve around him. And that’s exactly what makes you magnetic.

Your life is full, vibrant, and moving forward—whether he’s part of it or not.

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Attraction 101: Confidence Over Desperation (pt 2)

Attraction Principle #3:

A woman is perceived as offering a mental challenge to the degree that a man doesn’t feel he has a 100% hold on her.

This principle is all about setting boundaries, respecting yourself, and ensuring your standards aren’t compromised. A man respects a woman who respects herself.

Examples of NOT Giving Him 100% Control:

You don’t invite him over and cook him dinner early on.

You don’t swoon at his every move.

You don’t tolerate dates that don’t meet your standards.

Here’s a perfect example of why holding your own is crucial:

A True Story

One of my girlfriends had a guy promise her a romantic night out—a proper dinner and quality time. She dressed the part: heels, a nice outfit, full makeup, and hair done. He showed up late, over three hours past the time they agreed upon, but instead of telling him “never mind,” she waited.

When they finally met, it was already 9 PM. At that point, reservations were no longer an option, so he suggested McDonald’s. Yes, McDonald’s. To make matters worse, when they got there, he said he didn’t have money because he hadn’t been paid yet—so she paid. Afterward, instead of calling it a night, he invited her back to his apartment.

When they arrived, she quickly realized it was barely livable. It looked like he’d just moved in. Instead of making her feel comfortable, he asked her to help him mount his TV on the wall and rearrange his bed to a different side of the room—while she was still in heels. And she did.

Lessons Learned

Never let a stranger pick you up from your house. You don’t want him knowing where you live, especially if the date doesn’t go well or he turns out to be unsafe. Always meet in a neutral, public location.

Keep control of your exit plan. If a date doesn’t meet your expectations or makes you uncomfortable, you should be able to leave on your own terms. If she had driven herself or taken an Uber, she wouldn’t have felt stuck.

Set and maintain high expectations. Her first mistake was accepting a date with someone who disrespected her time. He was three hours late, and that alone should’ve been a dealbreaker. Instead, she continued to accommodate his poor behavior—dining at McDonald’s, paying for his food, and even agreeing to do manual labor in heels.

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Attraction 101: Confidence Over Desperation (pt 1)

Attraction Principle #2:

The women who have men climbing the walls for them aren't always exceptional. Often, they are the ones who don't appear to care that much.

This principle can feel nearly impossible to put into practice if you struggle with insecurities. But learning to embody it is essential.

Step One: Stop Chasing

Do not:

Call or text him first.

Seem needy or overly available.

Talk about how you’re dying to get married.

Plan dates for the two of you.

As Sherry Argov says, it’s about “holding your own in a relationship.”

You might be thinking:

“But I do want to get married! I don’t want to waste my time, so I should tell him my intentions upfront.”

“I just want to share about my day or ask him to share about his!”

I get it. I’ve been there. But unfortunately, doing any of these things sends a very different message. It signals desperation—that he already has you in the palm of his hand. This will only make him wonder just how much power he has over you, how much you’re willing to tolerate, just to keep him in your life. And the harsh truth? It will erode your self-esteem even further.

A Personal Story

When I was 21, I was in a relationship where my boyfriend literally said to my face: “I have you in the palm of my hand.”

At the time, I thought it was a wild thing to say. But deep down, I knew it was true. I thought I was in love. I believed I couldn’t do better, and he could sense my insecurity—my desperation to be loved and chosen. I thought that by being extra nice, doing more for him, and proving my love, he’d eventually love me back just as deeply. But that never happened. He just kept taking and taking, offering nothing in return.

To give you some perspective: he was a high school dropout, three years older than me. I was in college, working a higher-paying job, and thought this would make me valuable in his eyes. I believed, “Surely, he wouldn’t risk losing me. I’m great!” But despite these surface-level "advantages," he knew he was in control.

Why Confidence Matters

As Argov states, “Men need a mental challenge.” This doesn’t mean winning arguments or being more educated than him. It’s about exuding confidence and self-respect. He should know—without you ever saying it—that you’re not afraid to walk away if he disrespects you.

Here are some ways to avoid looking like you have lesser value in his eyes:

Don’t be too available. When he asks when he can see you, don’t say “anytime.” Don’t rearrange your plans to accommodate him. He needs to work around your schedule.

Don’t cancel plans for him. That yoga class, gym session, or time with friends? Keep them. Let him see you value your commitments.

No late-night hangouts. Avoid last-minute or late-night “come over” invites. It’s disrespectful. Politely decline and let him know you already have plans.

Don’t pay on dates. If he invites you out, let him pay. Kindly thank him for dinner with a smile. Don’t reach for your wallet—it sets the wrong precedent.

Lessons Learned the Hard Way

In my early 20s, I made the mistake of paying on dates. For instance, on my first date with Martin, I pulled out my wallet and paid for breakfast—even though he had asked me out. I thought I was making a statement about independence, challenging traditional gender roles. And while he was pleasantly surprised, it set the tone for our entire relationship. Once we started dating, he never offered to pay. He assumed I’d cover everything, and I did—for seven whole months.

Eventually, I grew tired of always giving. When I stopped, he was confused and upset because that’s what I had taught him to expect.

Final Thoughts

Remember, being confident and holding your own doesn’t mean playing games or pretending you don’t care. It means valuing yourself enough to let him show his interest through action, not just words. He needs to see that your time is valuable, your self-worth isn’t dependent on him, and you won’t settle for less than you deserve.

You are the prize. Never forget that.

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Why Men Run When Women Chase: A Lesson in Self-Worth (Continued)

Sherry Argov explains that when a man begins to lose respect for a woman because she devalues herself, he also loses the desire to get closer to her. Respect is the foundation of attraction, and when it's gone, the relationship begins to crumble.

So, let’s travel back in time. I was 21, working at a restaurant, when a new cook joined our team. He was beautiful—like, stop-you-in-your-tracks beautiful. He reminded me of my ex, the one who broke my heart after I found out he’d been cheating on me for months. And to make it worse, I discovered it on Thanksgiving Day… after he had spent the entire day with my family celebrating.

But this guy? He was my physical type times a thousand, and I was instantly drawn to him. I decided to go for it. I told his friend I liked him and asked him to pass along my Snapchat. Looking back now, I cringe because, guess what? That definitely was giving masculine energy of me. I chased him. I told him I liked him. I put myself out there before he had even shown interest.

When he finally messaged me, I was excited… until I read his message:

"Let’s cuddle c:.”

The sheer audacity! I hope people aren’t still doing that kind of thing nowadays, but who knows what the kids are up to these days. Either way—the cringe!

Of course, I was upset. I wondered why he was so quick to jump to intimacy without even trying to get to know me first. But now, as I reflect, I see that his response wasn’t entirely surprising. By pursuing him so openly, I had unknowingly set the tone that he didn’t need to invest effort to earn my attention. He assumed I’d be an easy catch because I had done the chasing.

The Love Doctor Analogy: Why Effort Matters

One of the love doctors on YouTube—Matthew Hussey, Steven, or one of them—once shared an analogy that perfectly explains this dynamic. And let me tell you, I spent hours trying to find the exact video because it’s that good.

The analogy goes something like this:

Imagine you’ve been given something amazing, like a car. But think about the difference between a car that was simply handed to you versus one you worked hard to earn. If you worked for hours, saved paycheck after paycheck, and sacrificed to buy that car, you’d treat it like your baby. You’d care for it, clean it, and value it because you understand the effort it took to make it yours.

Now, imagine someone just gave you a car with no effort on your part. You wouldn’t feel the same attachment or appreciation for it because there was no work involved.

The same principle applies to relationships. When someone has to work to earn your time, affection, and trust, they value you more because they understand what it took to build that connection. But if you hand everything over too easily—your attention, your affection, your heart—they won’t hold it in the same regard.

The Importance of Respect and Self-Worth

When I gave him my Snapchat and made it clear I was interested, I skipped the stage where he could wonder about me, get to know me, and feel like he had to work for my time. In Sherry’s terms, I devalued myself.

By putting myself out there without requiring effort on his part, I inadvertently signaled that I didn’t see my time and energy as valuable. And when you don’t value yourself, how can you expect someone else to?

Sherry is right when she says that respect and attraction go hand in hand. If a man loses respect for you, he won’t feel the desire to get closer. This doesn’t mean playing games or withholding affection—it means honoring yourself enough to let someone earn their place in your life.

The Takeaway: Confidence Over Chasing

This experience taught me a valuable lesson: chasing someone isn’t just about actively pursuing them—it’s also about how much effort you allow them to contribute. The key to building healthy, respectful connections is confidence. When you carry yourself with self-worth and let others put in the effort to get to know you, you naturally set the tone for a balanced and meaningful relationship.

So, to all the 21-year-old versions of me out there: stop chasing. Value yourself enough to let others rise to meet you. Trust me—it’s worth it.

Stay tuned as we continue exploring Why Men Love Bitches and dive deeper into Sherry Argov’s attraction principles. Let’s keep learning how to respect ourselves and attract the love we deserve.

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Why Men Run When Women Chase: A Lesson in Self-Worth

Let’s take a closer look at why men often run when a woman—no matter how beautiful, smart, successful, loving, or worthy she may be—chases them. Sherry Argov, in Why Men Love Bitches, suggests that it comes down to behavior. When a woman chases a man, it signals to him that she doesn’t place a high value on herself. It also sends mixed signals, because chasing is more of a "masculine" quality.

If a woman overcompensates for a man she barely knows, it sends a subconscious message: either she’s desperate or she treats every man this way. This, in turn, makes him feel less special. As Sherry highlights, overgiving too soon can backfire, making it harder to build a genuine connection.

This reminds me of a powerful story Steve Harvey shared in his video Be Ready to Receive, which perfectly illustrates the importance of self-worth and preparation.

Steve Harvey’s Story: Making Space for What You Want

Steve tells the story of how, as a young man, he was saving up for a new car. Every time he mentioned his goal, his mother would respond, “But your old car is out on blocks in the driveway.” At first, he didn’t understand why she kept saying this, especially when he was trying to stay positive.

One day, after hearing her repeat it for the sixth time, he asked, “Why do you keep bringing up the old car?” She replied, “Son, you ain’t got nowhere to put no new car.”

That hit him. He called a friend to tow the old car, cleared out the driveway, scrubbed away the oil stains, and made space. Two weeks later, he bought his new car. When he proudly showed his mother, she said, “That's 'cause you got somewhere to put it. You can’t ask God for something and then don’t make ready to receive it.”

This wisdom stuck with him, and it applies not just to material things but to relationships and life goals.

He shared this lesson with a woman he knew who was stuck in a toxic relationship with a married man. When he told her, “You can ask God for it, but until you’re ready to receive it, why would He give it to you? You ain’t gon’ do nothin’ but mess it up,” she broke down in tears.

She ended the relationship, stopped going to the restaurant where they used to meet, and began focusing on herself. Not long after, she met someone who truly valued her. That man eventually became her husband, and together, they built a beautiful life.

The Takeaway: Stop Chasing, Start Valuing Yourself

This story is a powerful reminder that we need to clear the emotional clutter in our lives and make space for the right people and opportunities. If you’re chasing love or holding onto relationships that don’t serve you, it’s time to pause and reflect. Are you ready to receive the love and respect you deserve?

As Steve Harvey’s mother said, “You can’t ask God for something and then don’t make ready to receive it.” Whether it’s a relationship, a goal, or a dream, take the steps to prepare yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically to welcome it into your life.

Stay tuned as we continue exploring Why Men Love Bitches and dive deeper into the first eight principles Sherry Argov shares with us. Let’s work on becoming confident, radiant individuals who attract the love and respect we deserve!

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Rediscovering Why Men Love Bitches: My Journey to Confidence and Self-Love

This is my second attempt at reading Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov. The first time I picked it up, I wholeheartedly agreed with her points, but I only made it halfway through the book before life distracted me. This time, I’m determined to finish it—and not just read it, but truly absorb it. I’m taking notes on each chapter, reflecting on the attraction principles she shares, and tying them to my own life experiences.

For those who don’t know, my blog is about self-love, overcoming obstacles, and embracing the best version of yourself. It’s a space to talk about health, fitness, beauty, mental health, positivity, and everything in between.

I’ve had to learn these lessons the hard way. I grew up incredibly insecure, constantly chasing men and love, only to find myself in toxic, unloving, and often hostile relationships. I gave more than I received, and I stayed far longer than I should have in situations where I was cheated on, verbally abused, and treated like I didn’t matter.

Everything changed in my early 20s when I picked up this book for the first time. It became a turning point in my journey. Sherry Argov’s words resonated deeply, giving me the tools to transform into a confident, radiant woman who put herself first and realized she didn’t need anyone else to validate her. Trust me, it was not an easy road—it was painful, lonely at times, and full of setbacks. Even my female friends couldn’t always understand what I was going through, though I believe many of them faced similar struggles with their relationships.

This time around, I want to share my thoughts on the book with you, starting with Chapter One and its powerful Attraction Principle #1: “Anything a person chases in life runs away.”

The chapter begins by introducing the concept of the “nice girl.” She’s someone who gives far too much to a man (or woman) she barely knows, long before they’ve had the chance to truly invest in her. She’s operating from a place of insecurity, hoping that her overgiving will be reciprocated. But as Sherry points out, life doesn’t work that way.

Human nature comes into play here. Men, even in 2025, still thrive on the thrill of the chase. The pursuit is exciting, and it’s what keeps their interest. When you give in too easily, they might enjoy the momentary thrill, but they’ll likely move on to the next chase, the next thrill, the next challenge.

Reading this now, I can’t help but reflect on my past and how many times I fell into the “nice girl” trap. Learning to stop chasing, to focus on myself, and to let others prove their worth before giving my energy changed everything.

This principle is just the beginning, and I’m excited to dive deeper into the book and share how it’s helping me continue my journey of self-love and empowerment. If you’ve ever felt stuck, insecure, or unsure of your worth, this book—and these principles—might just change your life too. Learning to stop chasing, to focus on myself, and to let others prove their worth before giving my energy changed everything. Stay tuned as we go through Chapter One and reflect on the first 8 principles Sherry Argov shares with us!