The Lord Walrus

Why oh why does the Walrus want me to be his?

[byjove]

I can’t remember if I told you guys this but my grandpa paid a guy to put up a rock retaining wall in the backyard when my grandparents moved into their house in 1966. They live at the bottom of a mountain. The wall finally collapsed this year and my grandfather with dementia was PISSED OFFFFFF and he wanted so badly to call the guy who did it and chew him out for doing a bad job. My grandma is trying to explain that the wall lasted 60 years and the guy who did the work is probably dead and it TURNS OUT HE IS STILL ALIVE. Now we’re worried grandpa is going to get through to him (small town) and we’re going to see two 85 year old men come to blows over a rock wall that has been there since the mid-60s. My grandpa is a scrapper, he’s been to jail over a bar fight, the possibility that he WOULD fight this guy is high.

To top it off? The stone mason is the only person in town with one arm so grandpa would definitely recognize him if he saw him. If that is your grandpa, please protect him from my grandpa.

[fullmetalfisting]

I know I’m getting older bc I started reading a highly-anticipated new release but the characters are 19 so I’m imagining literal children.

Like, I read this passage

And in my head I’m picturing this

[loveridden1999]

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

[featuringmarkhoppus]

[coughloop]

why are people submitting asks with skulls? to be scary? 👣

...can you put your shoes back on

[animentality]

[fangorn-forest]

her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

[that-house]

to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

[that-house]

all of our trobles seem so small from up here

[abortionado]

They’re calling me every slur under the sun over on twitter for this post

[cilceon]

Would you sell liquor to this baby

Yes

No

I don’t think life begins at contraception but I’d still sell liquor to baby

Voting ended onAug 6, 2025

Wait hold on rb canceled that’s the wrong word wait no stop

[verylittlebird]

                                distraptor velociraptor =     ———————-

                               timeraptor

[greelin]

they really did luck out with the backwards spelling of “dracula” going that hard

[acidgirl]

this line delivery has lived in my head for 10 years

[fairycosmos]

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

[queenaegon]

i understand all that shit about honor and knighthood and solemn vows but “kingslayer” is simply a bad insult. it sounds cool as fuck. might as well call him the landlord annihilator or the billionaire’s bane.

[arctic-hands]

When I was a teenager and still on Neopets I was part of a pretty big Star Trek guild and eventually became part of its council, with the solemn duty of creating weekly polls. Well one day I created the poll "Which would win in a fight? Borg Cube or Death Star?". Naturally, since this was a Star Trek guild, the answer was overwhelmingly "Borg Cube", but someone did have the rationality to point out we were biased.

So I look up a pretty prominent Star Wars guild and message one of their council and ask them to poll the same question and get back to me in a week. They do, and naturally the fuckin geeks said "Death Star".

So then I look up a Stargate guild and messaged the lead council member, saying the same thing, and they get back to me almost immediately saying that the Death Star would immediately one-shot a Borg Cube but they would never be able to do it again to another Cube. And I took that wisdom back to my guild and we were mollified, and for one moment the Nerd World was peaceful.

[evilsoup]

[gilliagandy]

Truly thrilled to finally find this post on my dash.

[the-big-mood]

In 1997, local television in Kharkiv accidentally filmed one of the most iconic rave moments in history.

[ruinedchildhood]

[csny]

i canoed home from the club

[the-frightening-ghoul]

‎

[csny]

what was that

[uss-emberprise]

[weonsinnombre]

[shieldfoss]

oH RIGHT This was before LotR pioneered cgi for massed crowd behavior

There was so much cool cgi in those movies I just assumed all the clones were too but back then I guess they still couldn’t really be

[chilewithcarnage]

this is so sexy

[luckyladylily]

I wonder what happened to all the agent smith masks

[roomtemperaturesuperconductor]

I can actually answer this! So the latex/rubber they used, while standard for Hollywood at the time, reacted REALLY BADLY to being doused in pouring water nonstop for an entire day of shooting. They ended up corroding, which caused them to stink really badly and glob together at the seams. The original plan was to hand out masks to various crew members on the final day of shooting as souvenirs, but the sopping wet, melting, rotting rubber got so gross that by the end of that shooting day they’d already thrown most of them out. Somewhere in a landfill are hundreds of disgusting, bloated, slimey Hugo weaving heads fused together into a nightmarish rotting amalgam :)

[roach-works]

it’s what he would have wanted