Hello There.

“Not all those who wander are lost” is such a mood. 23f.

[shiftythrifting]

ah yes i was looking for a soap dispenser labeled “ketchup” with a picture of grapes

[artenega]

I really want this bottle in my bathroom. I’d place it next to matching decorative soaps and towels as if it seems like it fits, but I’ll actually fill the thing up with ketchup. So when I have guests over and they decide to use the bathroom, they will see this bottle and have a moment of cognitive dissonance, “This [Soap Bottle] in the [Bathroom] is labelled [Ketchup], so surely it must dispense [Soap] instead of [Ketchup] despite the label saying [Ketchup] right?” and then let them have a moment of realization followed by abject horror as they pump viscous ketchup all over their hands instead of soap

[world-heritage-posts]

world heritage post

[pixelatedboobs-blog]

Patients is a virtue.

[northmiamigoon-deactivated20150]

maybe she a doctor

[beardyboywonder]

every gamer’s reaction upon finding a blood-covered room: well that’s not good

[honeystopthecar]

I am pretty sure that is not exclusive just to gamers.

[dinopant]

Love the universe need of all babies human and animal to just lay on adults

[dinopant]

A collection

[dinopant]

Further proof

[dodudodu]

[starpaw0007]

I believe in Doofenshmirtz bonding with pet Perry supremacy

[eleonorpiteira]

Thorin, King Under the Mountain, from The Hobbit (x)

I’ve been wanting to draw fanart of this majestic idiot for years!

[Art prints here]

[elriabrunnr]

Who wants to see a FAT otter. A real ROUND boy. A HUGE man. A CHUNKY guy.

[elriabrunnr]

[sonseulsoleil]

It’s almost 1 AM but in the song Belle from Beauty and the Beast the villagers sing “I need six eggs” “that’s too expensive!” and then later in the song Gaston, Gaston says “when I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large, now that I’m grown I eat five dozen eggs so I’m roughly as large as a barge” Gaston has been eating dozens of eggs every day for his entire life and is single handedly creating an artificial egg scarcity in the village and driving up egg prices. this economy is in shambles.

[small-chekov]

if ur hands are cold it’s just ur ghost boyfriend holding ur hand

[mhevet]

my f

[mhevet]

my feet are cold

[mhevet]

[christosanesti]

i dont think american filmmakers realise how huge london is, because sure you have the london eye and houses of parliament but when you say ‘london has fallen’ what??? so the nandos in catford is in flames? the tesco in peckham has descended into chaos? wtf??

[sophrosynic]

@deputychairman

[deputychairman]

And even if Peckham Tesco goes down you’ve still got the Lewisham one open 24 hours, yeah you’re in trouble on a Sunday evening but even in a survival situation you can probably hold out till Monday because all the local takeaways would still deliver, no one can stop those guys and no one should try

[elodieunderglass]

yeah and making it a little serious for a second, the city has such a historical/cultural expectation of being (or at least appearing) resilient in response to destruction that these portrayals are not realistic at all.

If you talk to people who were in London on 7/7 I feel that they use very different language about their experience, vs. people who were in New York City for 9/11. The brush with destruction is not portrayed as a life-changing experience, if that makes sense. The expectation is that the city has to keep moving. That obnoxious “Keep Calm and Carry On” poster (now a meme) was actually designed and printed in readiness to be posted everywhere if London actually fell to Nazi occupation. the expectation was that “descent into chaos” would let everyone down.

Like, in the London Blitz people made “not giving a shit as the city is gutted around you” into an art form. 

this lady would make a great reaction image for drinking truth tea in the wake of drama:

like look at these guys here

“oh ffs that was my BUS”

I mean this guy is just delivering the milk like

TREVOR I DON’T THINK YOUR CUSTOMERS ARE GONNA CARE IF YOU’RE A LITTLE LATE

or this extremely safe community policing

“remember girls you need TWO policemen to go past the unexploded bomb”

or this 

“hey Bridezilla your window fell off” “fuck off Helen this is my SPECIAL DAY”

or

“guys you’re supposed to be - guys pay attention”

or “Hey what should we do we are literally being bombed right now” “idk go hide in the tube??” “but it’s the kids’ bedtime” “yeah, but like… bombs”

“wait I’ve got a plan, we go to the tube and then…”

“ok so … so we’ve literally just tied the children to the train tracks” “shh…. they’re sleeping…. they’re safe now”

or this cheeky lil shit

apparently he’s reading a history of London

rude

Anyway it’s not like Londoners are super brave or anything, it’s just that on the one hand there might be giant alien sea dragon robot tsunamis smashing the recognizable landmarks, but on the other hand they gotta make rent 

[icarus-suraki]

Rebloggin’ for my (all 3 of you) Gravity’s Rainbow-reading mutuals

[fluffmugger]

This is actually a really good example of propaganda and the malleability of human minds A lot of those blitz pics were staged, people definitely were Not Having A Fun Time (my grandmother was actually in London during the blitz) but there is an element of amplified truth in them, and this has impacted the social consciousness directing How To Behave in situations.   During the blitz people were straight up losing their minds (and if the internet existed in the 1940′s yes some people would have been screaming about bombs being a lizard empire hoax and taking horse dewormer).  They made bad decisions. They lost their shit. The idea of this wholesome “We are indefatigable!” was, for the most part, pure fucking propaganda.  But a lot of other people?   They had no other way to act - there WAS no other option. This was reality. And it rapidly became normalised, but the mental toll was massive. But of course this was in the time where actually having a very normal trauma was considered to be “weakness” so it got buried. Buried very very deeply indeed. And so people clung to the myth, and the myth was all that was spoken, and the myth became Fact and the Fact became something to point to, a guidebook in “this is how we Behave”, a custom to cling to.  And when the underground bombings happened - they clung. It’s also worth noting that this also happened to a population that had largely been exposed to events during the Northern Ireland Conflict, the “troubles” as they so quaintly like to term them, when a lot of people  became horrifically acclimatised to the IRA blowing shit up left right and centre.  In fact, when the underground bombings occurred, a lot of people I know thought it was the IRA initially.  But what do you do? You’re fed on a diet of Proper British Response Behaviour, a guidebook that has become a point of national pride….so you follow it.

[incorrect-tmfu-quotes]

Napoleon: I have feelings for you.

Illya: I have feelings for you.

Narrator: The feeling was “friendship”, but neither had ever experienced it.

[gorgonsach]

this gun is way too big!!!

this is a gun that is too damn big!

[jennyloggins]

c’mon now son, put the big gun down. this is a job for a big axe

[dat-soldier]

my son. my giant onion son. do not go the way of the giant conflict. you may be very large too, but your heart is bigger.

[mmmmmmmmarvel]

“Well, I doubt the god from space has to take an ibuprofen after a fight”

bonus:

[finntasticmxfinn]

Oh, to have Natasha’s confidence.

[acenerdsbian]

Tags from @critter-of-habit

[send-me-a-puffalope]

[thebibliosphere]

Admitting my star sign was a mistake.

[thebibliosphere]

“Oh, so that’s why you are they way you are. You’re two fire signs ruled over by water!”

Pretty sure it’s just the ADHD.

[hugintheraven]

A fun thing to do whenever someone asks you your sign is to lie about your birthday. It still means listening to them attempt to explain your entire personality badly for a few minutes, but then you can undercut them as soon as it gets too annoying. 

[gallusrostromegalus]

So, for a while I was doing mailroom/account followup work for a nonprofit, and on my firt day there, one of the ladies, “Debbie” asked me when my Birthday was. Assuming she was planning office Birthday parties, I told her.

The next day she came in with my ENTIRE star chart with personality tropes, life advice, predicitons for my future and so on. Now, I don’t go in for Astrology but I can tell when someone is making a well-meaning gesture and I can say “Thank you” and shut up.

Especially because I told her the Wrong Birthday.

See, my birthday is in the middle of a cluster of a whole bunch of family birthdays and growing up I used to have to share my Birthday with my older cousins and while that’s not really a big deal (even fun if you’re older) it kinda sucks when you’re five and none of your cousins share your interests.

So mom made a deal with me: We’d celebrate my “Un-Birthday” in January, when nobody else in the family has a birthday or anything else, and the “real” birthday would be my Cousin’s. I got my own birthday and they got a second party and it was fun.

As I got older, I just started using my Un-Birthday for everything except paperwork, becuase January is boring and bereft of holidays except the one that’s really part of Xmas these days. On paperwork, I put my real one, but I’ve been celebrating my birthday in the wrong month for over 25 years now, and didn’t think about it when she asked, and told her my Un-Birthday.

And for a few weeks everything was fine.

But Debbie had a RIVAL.

Another woman in the office “Sharon” was also big into Astrology and was convinced Debbie was Doing It Wrong, so when she was going over payroll, she saw my Legal Birthday, realized Debbie had filled out the chart wrong, and then proceded to drag Debbie on the company facebook group, and a bunch of astrology groups they were both in.

I found out when I came in three days later from a long weekend and Debbie burst into tears and sobbed “HOW COULD YOU LIE TO MEEEEEE???”

After an extremely garbled recounting by our coworkers, a talk with my manager about “Hey yeah I don’t think it’s Legal for Sharon to take my name and date of birth from Payroll and put it all over facebook?”, the manager had a talk about “I know you are all over 50 but this is NOT WHAT THE COMPANY FACEBOOK IS FOR”, Sharon was ‘removed from the premesis’ and I finally got to sit down with Debbie.

I explained the slip-up and how I sort of have two birthdays and think of the January Birthday is my “Real” one.

Debie looked up from where she’d been sobbing into her tissue all morning, realization dawning on her less like the illumination of the sun and more like a baby sea turtle headed in the wrong direction because of light Pollution.

“Oh!” She said “You’re TRANS-ZODIAC! You might have been born as an Aries, but you’re really a Capricorn!”

As someone who’s been hit by a minivan and gotten a minor skull fracture from it, I’m pretty sure hearing that sentence gave me more brain damage.

“Sure Debbie.”

[thebibliosphere]

You know, I had no idea where this ride was going to take us, but of all the outcomes I expected, that was not it.

What, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Debbie was a kind woman with room in her heart for all the people of the world and the critical thinking skills of a Sea Cucumber.

[alsophila-grahami]

SOUP! SEASON! 🍲🧡🍜

gxth-jxck / mine / bewgtweets / panera's most excellent soup swimsuit / a pot of red lentils by peter pereira / bagardcardsandcrafts / the adventure zone: amnesty / one-time-i-dreamt / thevegancokehead / bridgeovertroubledwater1970

[twilightisgaynow]

people give twilight a lot of shit but its depiction of stupid teenaged boys is unparalleled