flipboard has something to say

BIG ASS DISCLAIMER: I am a queer woman who is very against a good majority of what is depicted here, it's just really funny to read • the community on flipboard is so wack. If you took the FaceBook populace of old and political people and put them in one place, that is FlipBoard. More often than not, I do not understand why they make the comments they make, or what they even say or mean. But no one is listening to them! Their potential is untapped and I intend to chronicle their spicy takes, valid or not.

[thingsflipboardsays]

this is what flipboard is all about

[thingsflipboardsays]

[thingsflipboardsays]

"scientists may have discovered the cure to cancer"

[thingsflipboardsays]

[captain-of-the-dead-seas-deacti]

I will read more!

[captain-of-the-dead-seas-deacti]

Fairly recent.

[captain-of-the-dead-seas-deacti]

Okay then there’s four ads so far and the whole thing seems to be in snippets.

[captain-of-the-dead-seas-deacti]

I think that’s a different boat?

Yeah it is

[captain-of-the-dead-seas-deacti]

I’d be surprised too if, every time I went out to fish, my boat was different.

[captain-of-the-dead-seas-deacti]

How well is the fishing company doing that you can get all these different boats? And why not stick to one or two colors, for brand?

[captain-of-the-dead-seas-deacti]

There was an ad between the story and the boat. Also are they getting all these pictures with a drone or a camera man or????

Either found family, polyamory, or the worlds best buddy trio. That’s what’s going on here

[captain-of-the-dead-seas-deacti]

Definitely looks like the same uniform from up top so I guess that’s one of the protagonists. Also yet another boat.

That’s six boats now???

[captain-of-the-dead-seas-deacti]

Firstly, I was mistaken. The boat that I thought was sixth was actually the second boat. This boat on the other hand is the sixth boat. None of the others have a light blue edge and they certainly don’t have a fence.

Secondly, I’m betting on found family or a poly relationship.

[captain-of-the-dead-seas-deacti]

There’s a place? In Canada?? Called Labrador???

[autogynephiladelphia]

@captain-of-the-dead-seas where the fuck do you think Newfoundland dogs come from?

[loveruns]

My body, immediately upon waking up at 3AM: i’d sure love a nice cold water. Cause I’d loOove a nice cold water. Ice. Cold. Water. Hey Teens do you want. Freshy? Water. Water! Ngh. TEENS i’d love a nice col- ok- hEy teens here’s- YEAH!!!!!!! WATER!!!!!!!!!!!

[gahdamnpunk]

[meanplastic]

I AM DONE SJSJSJKSJK

[autogynephiladelphia]

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

[gearboxtheory]

Lefties can’t meme, so instead they just forcibly redistribute the memes of others.

[diesetdown]

Lefties can’t poopoo doopie doop wee wee

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

The funny thing is I made this meme so I didn’t take it from anyone

[xbox-nun]

Me as an art critic: this piece really explores the… Misogyny of the artist 🤔

[pissvortex]

i went to a scary halloween theme park and none of the scare actors tried to scare me because i kept instinctively doing the white person face at them whenever i spotted them

[pissvortex]

[monkeysky]

they were afraid that if they surprised you you'd let the bees out of your mouth

[fanaticartisan]

i need “Happier than a necromancer in a natural history museum” to become a known phrase immediately

[hermitknut]

@the-tao-of-fandom: #sir if you touch the fossils exhibit i will personally kill you

[thetotallynotevilnecromancer]

Sadly I have heard of necromancers being disappointed by such museums.

[thehistorychannel]

oh yeah do you all know that guy that draws maids skateboarding? you know

well he can shred pretty well and is able to use himself as reference, mad lad

[i-am-a-fish]

gays, lend me your strength

[equinox-autumn]

I shall give you my soul, and you will be the most powerful gay to ever gay.

[i-am-a-fish]

thank you so much.

lesbians, lend me your strength

[kandikarkat]

I give you my heart, so you can have the power of all the lesbians and be even more gay than before

[i-am-a-fish]

I am forever in your debt.

aces, lend me your strength

[andr0id-16]

I give you my essence, so that why you possess the power of gay as well as having not just one, but many aces of power up your sleeve.

[i-am-a-fish]

I owe you my life.

transgender and nonbinary folks, lend me your strength

[kingasgore-moved-deactivated201]

i give you my tiddies because i dont fuckign want them

[i-am-a-fish]

I could never thank you enough.

bi and pan peeps, lend me your strength

[asskylosaurus]

Gun

[i-am-a-fish]

I am eternally grateful.

now, all remaining LGBT+ members, please collectively lend me your strength

[doctor-basil-puntastic]

You have our combined strengths and powers. Ascend as a God for there can no longer be forces against us. We are billions as one.

[i-am-a-fish]

I truly thank you all, from the bottom of my heart thank you.

now,

[i-am-a-fish]

(yall really liked this post so 🧡)

[hellokittyretard]

[ratcity]

All you guys talking about “zodiac signs.” Fuck you. I was never even born. I was created in a lab.

[rivalsvoids-deactivated20211130]

[sdjfhlaskjdfhsjdfhkjsdf]

IM SORRY WHA-

HE’S   I M M O R T A L ????

[pansexualkiba]

his whole “ultimate lifeform” deal is less “ultimate power” and more “he can’t die of old age or disease because he was made as a prototype to cure a man’s dying granddaughter”

[radraedx]

And in a what-if future in the comics, he just sort of waits Sonic out.

[rosexknight]

Every once in a while I’m like “Why would you make the ultimate lifeform a black and red hedgehog though?” Then I realized, if I were a scientist making a 100% immortal being I’d definitely bring life to my edgy fursona.

[silver-tongues-blog]

test tube baby or no, shadow’s still a gemini

[platinumsupa]

Bitches piss on Dr. Eggman’s wife and be like Can’t help being a Gemini!

[val-ritz]

so i was talking to my grandmother about old-school video games and she was all “y'know there was one game i used to play, and it had like a maze, and it was underground, and there was a guy in first person and he had a weapon” so knowing her penchant for puzzle games, i started guessing like myst, or legend of grimrock so we start hunting through these 90’s-era games featuring dungeon crawls. turns out. it was not a puzzle game. it was nothing close to a puzzle game. apparently, in the mid-90s, my grandmother would sit down and play fucking Wolfenstein 3D and listen to AC/DC for like hours on end.

[dikubutto]

Au contraire, the puzzle was “how to kill Nazis” and the answer was “use gun”

[dazzlingskydreams]

Another return from the Gold Beta!