* "Jak pan sądzi, w jaki sposób utrzymujemy tutejsze samochody tak błyszczące?"
Would probably be more natural, with the "pan *third person verb* " being a sign of respect in a formal situation, but yea
Just saying

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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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* "Jak pan sądzi, w jaki sposób utrzymujemy tutejsze samochody tak błyszczące?"
Would probably be more natural, with the "pan *third person verb* " being a sign of respect in a formal situation, but yea
Just saying
New art! The Rangers, the Witch, and the Peacemakers.
Gamers: Hehe... I'm gonna trick old man Nook by making these weeds into a leaf umbrella and selling them back to him
Tom Nook: ...t-that's not a trick. You put work into it, you put labor into the creation and thus its value increased. Has Capitalism deceived you so that you know not your own labor has value?
Gamers: Hehe... he'll never suspect a thing...
Aric Athesis - https://twitter.com/AricAthesis
Woah, pretty...
Iconic quotes from Joey’s Great Witcher Bake Off video
“Oh hi. You just caught me reading.. literature” *book flops to the floor*
“What’s the most important ingredient in baking? Well I’ll tell you. It’s love. The second most important ingredient is- is ingredients. So, you know- buy those.”
“I don’t really know what-” *pulls the cabinet door straight off its hinges* FUCKING COCK what-”
*pulls out a bowl* “Got a big fat metal helmet there”
“Which one’s flour again?”
“Where does flour come from?”
“It’s not potatoes, is it, but like- it is though”
“Wheat bisks and lasagna sheets we’re fucking in business”
“AW, COCK!”
“Jamie Oliver, you’ve lied to me”
“That’s gon straight to the heart”
“When in doubt-” *chugs a bottle of wine*
*stirring batter with a cucumber* “WHY WON’T YOU DIE!”
“Avocados.. that’s the wrong page. That’s just the wrong page”
“Not gonna add meat. Meat’s like the opposite of cake.”
“Leaves. Madeline, we’ve got so many leaves”
*sobbing on the floor in despair, covered in cake* “I don’t even like cake. I really hate cake”
Which one of you weirdos on here directed a movie?
I am literally going to kms
just admit yall are furryphobic and GO
I’m furryphobic
thanks for your honesty. now let me ask you why you cant support a movie with a diverse cast.
this this this can’t be real
this movie fucked my wife
I need to watch this
Let me tell you how I out thieved these two thieves at work.
So I work a retail job on top of many other jobs, and these two girls were in and out of my store at least 8 times. Which is sketchy and pretty much a give away that they were quite obviously stealing things, I’d see them stick their hands in their pockets or in their bags, but I was the only person at work today so I couldn’t stop checking people out in order to confront them…..which im sure they noticed.
Fast forward a few hours when they finally come back in, they had decided to purchase something to seem less suspicious. A 4$ pair of pearl earrings. At this point there is no one else in the store so I think Game On.
While they were scanning the shelves for anything else they might want, I’m looking at their pockets. I can clearly see the small ring through the fabric that they swiped earlier, the outline of tags shoved in their back pockets, amateurs.
Now for those of you that don’t know, I was stranded in Ireland for about a month with little to no money when I was a teenager and had to resort to being shady to get by till my cousin got me a ticket home.
Long story short, I am an excellent pick pocket. But I only use my powers for good instead of evil now.
So I followed them around the store pretending to bump into them as I put items back on the shelves, I stole NOT ONLY the product that they took, but everything in their back pockets. Now before you wag your finger at me just hold on a minute. They come to the register to get the one item they decided to pay for, and I’m smiling the whole time.
I tell them they price and then…I wait.
The one girl frantically patted her pockets, clearly confused and she looked at the other girl to ask “Where’s my money at?” This girl is clearly upset at this point and I suggested “Oh hey maybe you dropped it?” in the most sincere retail voice I can force my vocal cords to produce. Her and her friend drop to their knees and start searching for it. I let them continue like that for 10 minutes before I tell them that I had found it earlier and forgotten.
“You really should be careful the more you have in your pockets the easier it is for your money to fall out :)))))” I say, the statement unnerved them, they didn’t know if i KNEW or not. But they awkwardly shook it off with a laugh and I start to ring up the earrings again. BUT THIS TIME, I reach over the counter and start to ring up the items I had taken from their pockets. I dropped the tags on the counter and the merchandise hit the table hard, just like these girls mouths hit the floor.
You should have seen their faces it looked like someone had sucked the very essence right from their bodies. “Oh no she did not.” The one girl whispered as she checked her pockets yet again. Yes, Yes I did :) i’m beaming, their reaction added ten years to my lifespan. They apologize, laughing it off like it was a funny joke. But I’m not done yet.This time I look them dead in the eyes and go “Would you like me to ring out whats in your bags too before security gets here?”
Shock, pure dismay and anguish come over them, they look at each other. Each of them looks at me like I have personally came and shot their dogs. I AM LIVING, I’m reveling in the situation. Slowly, they lift their bags and dump out more products than Mary Poppins could shove in her bottomless purse. I start ringing it all up. They look horrified. A total of 400$ worth of items. I hold the fate of these girls in my hands and they know it. Over 200$ is a felony larceny charge. But I think they have suffered enough and jail is not fun so I present the ultimatum.
“You buy it all and I’ll let you go.”
and that is how I made all my sales goals and fucked with some shoplifters.
Holy shit ur my idol, that was so beautiful I might cry
Woah, this is amazing
Blatent ~weird kink art~ isnt shocking to me anymore, but shit that feels fetishy but cant tell if it is or not like Constable-frozen or ASMR videos are weird and uncomfortable for me
Several people call it the uncanny valley of kinks and I gotta agree. You’re not sure what someone was going for and it might be entirely tame but its done with such indulgence that you can never be sure and in that moment of doubt springs the sensation of off-ness.
space jam
oh this post aged really well
Will humanity ever be free of the influence of Edna Mode? Can any of us so much as consider the character design for a hero or villain without her manifesting in the room, fully aware of our sins?
You know what, another layer of difficulty is when you’re thinking about villains, and the wise words of Megamind come into your head. You don’t just want your child to be just a regular villain. But how do you make your villain a Supervillain with no cape? Where is the drama? But Edna says no capes, you must deny them the flair. It is impossible to please them both, and it’s tearing this family apart.
you. you get it.
(tags via @jeremiahsmysteriosotouch)
Counteroffer: Big dramatic cloak to protect your identity that you drop on the floor before every fight
#there are two wolves inside you #one is edna mode #the other is megamind (@remnantofahero)
I can’t believe the compromise is Obi-Wan Kenobi
Is it ok to mock teenagers for bad/mediocre writing & artwork?
Good. Then stop disparaging yourself for stuff you created in the past. You were and still are growing.
Twas a trap into good thinking habits!
we've been tricked, outsmarted, and quite possibly bamboozled
i’ve started lurking on r/tumblr to see off-site comments on my posts and
thank you r/tumblr
i know time has lost its meaning and the days are naught but a cruel carousel but take! your! meds!
First practice what you preach, great one
Just Took Mine I Am More Powerful Than Ever
“#new meme we refer to our meds as if they give us superpowers and hp“
yeah, i got prescribed bupropion by a psychomancer from a few towns over. It helps knock off a lot of the debuffs that came with the Depression status condition - noticeably lowers the Apathy and Fatigue meters and makes it so that it’s harder for them to fill up in the first place, which is great. considering that i’m going for a main Writer build and specing heavily into the Artist skill tree, it’s nice to be able to have the energy and emotional ability to dedicate myself to the training minigames and grinding needed to beat bosses like Finishing and First Draft. (i’m still working on that one but i’ve gotten really far on it, don’t @ me.)
it’s also great because it’s given me enough energy and motivation to grab a couple of points for my Strength and Appearance stats, which both add up to a nice passive Outward Confidence buff. Getting prescribed testosterone by an endocrine mage really helped in that point, because it gives you a higher base gain in skill points from the Strength-stat minigames, but it also helped greatly alleviate the effects of the Dysphoria debuff. Honestly, it eliminated a vast chunk of the debuff altogether, which is pretty fucking swag baller. Opened up a lot of new accessory slots that used to be blocked off, which is awesome - Dysphoria is one of the debuffs that can do that, along with ones like the Body Dysmorphic Disorder and Eating Disorder debuffs. Really lowered my base Anxiety and Tension meters, too.
I’ve taken the Adderall potion and it gives me +5 focus and +7 resistance to spastic urges but it does decrease the power of all emotional stability based weapons.
ok but i literally have both these prescriptions
Hey did I ever tell you about my theory pacman is a hermaphrodite species? Ya know, like slugs
specifically, Ms. Pacmen are the default form of the species and the only ones capable of engaging in reproduction. what we call ‘pacmen’ are in fact just the sterile worker drones. you see more pacmen in games bc as drones it’s their job to collect the majority of food (dots) for the hive.
my evidence is what happens when you flip an image of Ms. Pacman upside down
like the flounder, Ms. Pacmen have two eyes on one side of their head. the eyes are asymmetrical but fully functional. Thus, given the unusual symmetry of the Pac Man body, we may observe an interesting phenomenon:
that’s right! what we commonly identify as a hair bow may equally be described as a bowtie. this is because, as the external genitalia of a hermaphrodite species, it is capable of both impregnating and being impregnated. The sterile drones naturally lack this appendage (whether they or born sterile or forcibly neutered by fellow hive members is a matter of scientific disagreement.)
this leads to my next hypothesis, the pacmen are the larval form of clowns.
Gaud why
all i ever sought from life was to cause disquietude
I mean, there’s evidence?
But if this is true, what are the other growth stages?
this leads to my third point, that pacmen regularly cannibalize their young, aka the ‘dot’ larval form. it is this act of infanticide around which gameplay revolves
*deep sigh*
Gaud, please tell me about how Pacmen are a parasite that turns its host intona clown. I don’t really want to know, but I think the alternative is worse…
A Queen Pacman that has reached full adult size may choose to take on a human host, depending on availability. it attaches itself to the host’s nose, which eventually withers and falls off, leaving the parasite to grow swollen and bright red as it fills with blood, and infecting the host with toxins that alter its physiology & neurology to that of the common Clown.
Interestingly, the characteristic ‘clown honking’ comes from squeezing the parasite, which is typically mistaken for the Clown’s nose. Honking is the Pacman’s way of vocalizing displeasure at the sudden expulsion of blood (after which the Pacman immediately refills itself). It is said the host organism experience rare glimpses of lucidity in these moments, but this is unconfirmable.
Oh i just remembered that short story i read as a kid where stray cats would talk to kids and gain their trust and then scam them by offering to let them live the luxurious homework/chore free life of a cat for one day and their spirits would switch bodies and then the cats would just. Keep the kids bodies and assume their identities/lives. And then the kids trapped in the cat bodies were doomed to live and die as street cats or scam another kid out of their body in a vicious cycle like in The Ring. Looking back on it, im very convinced that story influenced me beyond words.
This was the cover & the only reason i stole it from the scholastic book fair was bc it had a cat on it
This is horrifying
full fucking offense but schools should automatically pass all students right now idgaf about nerd feelings like there's a rule that if a disaster falls on the school like a fire or an earthquake then all the students pass well i think a global pandemic that threatens and destroys the physical emotional mental and financial aspects of people's lives kinda fucking counts as a disaster
the demon i am on a first date with: i should apologize ahead of time. see my horns are so huge and majestic that i cannot put a shirt on. i am cursed to never have a shirt on so you can always see my (large) torso. i understand that might be rude me: dang. i am sorry for your situation. we will just have to try make the best of it
I have no idea what this is, but it's beautiful