Aspec Experiences!

[thisisthe-aspec-experience]

Hello!

[PT: Hello!] This is a blog dedicated to all the variety of experiences by all those on the A-Spectrum! (This includes people from the deepest extremes of the Asexual and Aromantic spectrums to those who are extremely Allo [people who experience sexual or romantic attractions], and then also those who are Anattractional [those who experience little to no attraction of any form], Aplatonic [those who experience little to no platonic attraction], Analterous [those who experience little to no alterous attraction], Aqueerplatonic [those who experience little to no queerplatonic attraction], Anaesthetic [those who experience little to no aesthetic attraction], Asensual [those who experience little to no sensual attraction], and Afamilial [those who experience little to no familial attraction]!). My stance is that if you fall anywhere on the A-Spectrum, you are welcome here.

This blog is inspired by blogs such as @this-is-trans-joy @trans-masc-culture-is @this-is-transandrophobia @this-is-trans-solidarity @this-is-trans-misogyny @this-is-antixeninity @thisisexorsexism @this-is-nonbinary-joy

I do apologize that most of these are FtM/Transmasc/Transman related, as the mod is transmasc!

Profile picture is split into fifths, with--from top to bottom--a dull lime green, light yellow ochre, a light cream, a dull cornflower blue, and a dark purple. In the middle of the cream stripe, there is a small, black compass rose. The header image is a white compass rose in the center while the background is divided into four colors; counterclockwise from top-left, they are black, green, gray, and purple.

I should introduce who the mod is: Hello! I am Verich (vˈɛrɪk) [I do go by V, Veri, and Ver as well], and I use he/him/his/xe/xem/xyr pronouns! I am gay aroace in simple terms, but more specifically almond-desinoromantic and aceflux! I am transmasc and boyflux as well. My main blog is @snowstormtrain so if you recognize me, that's why! I am autistic, so I don't always understand tone. So tone tags are heavily appreciated!

Anyway, if you have anything to put relating to your experiences as someone on any of the a-spectrums, please put them in the asks. box! If you are allo, this place is technically for you, but people generally don't attack allospec just for existing and being allo.

Please do not submit an ask just to be hateful! If you are intending to be hateful towards any part of the LGBTQIA+ community, do not send it. This is not a place to be hateful, but people can vent about their experiences with hate.

DO NOT INTERACT IF: Fascist, pedo, groomer, racist, rapist, anti-queer, sexist, MAGAt, TERF, ableist, or a defender of any of those things.

Tagging system for ease of navigation:

#A-Spec Answers <- This is for answering anything put in the asks box!

#v talks <- If I'm simply talking and it isn't an ask, I'll put this tag.

#IMPORTANT <- If something important happens (relating to the A-spec community or not, I do not care.)

#v reblogs <- If I reblog something, I'll tag it with this. The V Talks tag is also applicable

I am only one individual, so please be patient with your asks. If you have any additional information, do not hesitate to reach out! Your information will help me make this space better for those that need it.

Resources will be provided, I must gather them first.

[your-fav-ribosome]

i hate how never marrying or having kids is seen as a profound tragedy in society. "you don't believe you'll find love?" no i don't want to. the goal is to stay single forever. why do so many people think this is a bad thing?

[thisisthe-aspec-experience]

Society thinks that people who are on the A-Spectrums (especially Asexual and Aromantic from my experience, due to such a prevalence in media that centers on romance and sex) are "broken" due to not "fitting" into society.

We on the A-Spectrums are not broken, thank you very much.

[thisisthe-aspec-experience]

Just making a post to say that the blog name has changed! Previously, it had been this-is-aspec-joy

It is now thisisthe-aspec-experience

I hope your day is going well and please remember to drink water, eat something substantial, and sleep well. If you take care of yourself, you'll feel better about yourself (speaking from experience)

[thisisthe-aspec-experience]

finding a bunch of microlabels that perfectly fit your identity

And then still using aroace for simplicity

but hey at least I know how to explain it... to myself

But it makes me happy and that what's important

This is indeed aspec joy!!

And exactly. I use a decent amount of microlabels that perfectly fit myself. It really does bring joy to know that there are more specific details, but those are for you to know.

[thisisthe-aspec-experience]

I found happiness in simply being myself, not determining my own value as a person based on my relationships with other people like I used to.

Finding out I was aroaceapl really helped me with self love.

This is aspec joy!!

I'm glad that you're getting better with self-love, and please continue to do better with such things. You are wonderful, anon, I'm sure.

If I might add, I think that finding happiness and value in simply being who you are instead of placing your value as someone on what your relationships with others are is something we all can do better at, the aspec community especially but everyone can do better at it, I'm sure.

[thisisthe-aspec-experience]

one of my best friends realising they might be aro

(They'd be my first irl friend who doesn't feel romantic attraction)

This is arospec joy!! I'm glad that your friend is learning more about themselves, and I hope that they continue to do so!

Honestly, aromantic people are some of the coolest people I have met and it's really quite nice.

[thisisthe-aspec-experience]

aspec joy is what WE will ALL be feeling when you return it's been a quiet two days

Hahah I apologize!! And yes, it will be!

I had a busy couple of days (yesterday especially was), so I apologize for my absence!

[thisisthe-aspec-experience]

finding a romantic partner that understands and respects your asexuality!

This is asexual joy!! I'm glad that your partner respects your asexuality, and I hope they continue to do so :)

[thisisthe-aspec-experience]

Aspec joy is finally accepting and feeling comfortable with the term aroace even though one's experience has nuances they don't fully understand.

Aroacespec joy is indeed this. The nuances will be understood with time and research.

Simplicity is nice.

[thisisthe-aspec-experience]

It was honestly so relieving having my closest companions be so accepting when I came out as being on the aplatonic spectrum

I was so scared of people acting badly, as some people did when I came out as being on the aromantic and asexual spectrums

Especially with how much more friendship is normalized

But it was really nice and not a single person took it wrong and understood

I still cared and liked them, just that I'm not a "friend" person

Same sort of joy I found when I realized afamilial exists and that I was not alone

This is aspec joy!! I'm glad your companions accepted you, especially since they definitely mean something to you. People who mean something are important.

And I hope that people keep understanding. As someone who has recently figured out he's on the afamilial spectrum xemself, I feel you. It's a bit nerve-wracking yet also helps you understand yourself more.

[thisisthe-aspec-experience]

finding actually good media that doesn't centre around romance and/or sex

This is a-spec joy!

I hate how society has somehow put love/romance up above things like genuine connection, when genuine connection (doesn't have to be a friendship, can simply be "oh this person understands me to a degree! I appreciate that!") is what ensures everyone to be content and at the best they can be.

I hope this makes sense

[thisisthe-aspec-experience]

having people in my life that actually. understand that i’m loveless anattractional and actually. take it into account when i mention generalising things (eg. everyone here loves you!) ends up excluding me is. nice. like what do you mean people actually double check to make sure if i’m okay with being called their friend ??!! huh??? ii never really thought i’d have people in my life who would just understand and get it no questions asked!!! but i do???? somehow!!

I'm glad that you have people in your life who make sure that you're included! You are appreciated and I hope that people continue to ensure that you're included in some way :D

You're amazing, Anon. I'm sure of it.

[thisisthe-aspec-experience]

I used to wonder if I really was aspec, or If I just had no experience with the opposite gender and stuff

Recently, a couple of my friends were talking about people (real and fictional) that they thought were hot and along those lines, and I felt vaguely uncomfortable and left

However, after a few moments, I realised that if it really was my lack of experience, I wouldn't be feeling that way, and now I can say for sure that yes, I really am aroace!!

This is aroacespec joy!!

I'm glad you realized that you're aroace and it simply wasn't a lack of experience :D

I hope that people accept you for who you are

[thisisthe-aspec-experience]

That moment when I realized I was not Pansexual/romantic because I didn’t want to date, be romantic, or do anything sexual with anyone.

Thought process: I feel the same about everyone! Surely I must be pan right?

Ah… if only I knew lol

🧡💛🤍🩵💙

But to anyone questioning if they are on the A spectrums (or anyone in the LGBTQIA+ community), just know:

It’s normal to not know right away, it’s okay to go back and forth as you figure things out. Learning about yourself is a lifetime experience, you don’t need to rush.

🧡💛🤍🩵💙

Now for a fun game: (here’s what labels I tried before I landed on Asexual and Aromantic)

Straight - Lesbian - Bisexual- Asexual - Biromantic - Panromantic - Lesbian - Panromantic - Aromantic

Suffice it to say, it takes time. This took me quite a while to figure out. In the end, if you choose to use labels, make sure you’re happy with them! But remember once you pick one you can always change to something that fits you better. There is no shame in it!

This is aroacespec joy!!

And I've gone through multiple labels before landing on what feels right. And if your labels change later on in life, that's okay!

It'll take time for you to be able to feel comfortable with what you call yourself, but in every step of the way, you're valid.

[emanhoussin]

Wait.

Before you scroll, please read this.

My fundraiser was shut down.

Everything we had disappeared overnight.

I’m a mother trying to protect my children in a place where safety doesn’t exist.

They still ask me for simple things food, warmth, a future and I don’t have easy answers.

So I started over.

A new link. From zero. Again.

I’m not asking you for miracles.

Just don’t ignore this.

Reblog.

That’s it.

Because one share can reach someone who can actually help us survive.

If you’ve ever cared about anyone, anywhere let this be the moment you act.

Link in bio.

Please don’t let this die quietly.

Help our family survive the Gaza war

A family of five is fighting to survive in Gaza right now not just the war, but hunger, fear, and uncertainty every single day.

#signalboost #mutualaid #helpurgent #sharethis #dontscroll #gazaunderattack #freepalestine #boost #tumblrpost #urgenthelp

[gotinterest]

Please share and donate to Eman! She was verified by el-shab-hussein towards the start of the war and I have spoken to her many times over the past few years.

Her family desperately needs help. Even €5 can help her rebuild a lifeline for her family.

[thisisthe-aspec-experience]

I'm a girl aro/ace and my heterosexual cis male friends all respect that I'm aro/ace and get defensive with me when people say we're dating (we're not)

Also one time someone thought me and one of friends got mistaken for my brother and it honestly made me so happy about finally not being shipped with a male friend

This is aroacespec joy!

I'm glad that your friends are respectful of your identity, and that shows that they're good friends. I hope that you stay friends with them, they sound like really wonderful people.

Also being seen as siblings is quite funny, but I would assume it's a nice change of pace from having people assume you and one of your friends are dating.

[b4bysitter-deactivated20210208]

shout out to ace and aro kids who are constantly bombarded with the opinion that sex and romantic love are directly connected to living a happy life.

[b4bysitter-deactivated20210208]

Y’all are just reblogging this at the speed of sound tonight

[beaniebaneenie]

Since it’s almost valentines day, and this message is about to get hammered in even more, reblogging this again.

[monochromedevdle]

🧡💛🤍🩵💙

[thisisthe-aspec-experience]

Friendships have always been more fulfilling than relationships in my experience

We need more emphasis on good platonic relationships