Just another Deadpool

yeah that's right...another deadpool ask blog ran by some edgey tumblr nerd with nothing better to do. 18+ ask/rp blog. MDNI

[thisisthewade]

Listen up you punks! Some Rules!

Welcome tumblr nerds. Out of the hundreds of Deadpool ask blogs we're honored...and sorry you chose this one.

Now a few rules:

This is an ask/rp blog. Feel free to ask any question you have to Wade or Not Wade Mun.

Seeing as this is a Deadpool blog we're rating this blog R. So only 18+ allowed here! Who knows the content that'll post so minors don't interact and leave this blog!

This Wade is mixed with the comics and the movies. Honestly he's just going to have a good time and screw things up.

Don't be afraid to interact with him, even if it's only a sentence. He'll probably interact with you still.

OC friendly here, in fact he'll probably love them. That being said, please keep your OC's 18+. We're gonna keep that rule going.

Marvel Muses also VERY okay and in fact excited to interact with them.

Crossovers are also okay, Deadpool will break through somehow.

Kind of kink friendly, mostly anything with magic, pym particles, etc.

Then- wait what's going-AAAHH! HI THERE! This is Wade stealing this post! What are you doing still reading this? Come on! Let's talk and mess around!

[thisisthewade]

*Ant Mun drops Ant-Man into Deadpool’s territory with a plate of cupcakes and a mission to steal back some experimental drugs to help children that some idiots stole*

((Let’s see what happens.))

“Ooh!” Scott retracted his helmet and grabbed one of the cupcakes on the plate. “Red velvet.”

"DID SOMEONE SAY RED VELVET!? I LOVE RED VELVET!" Wade screamed as he pushed open the door. His mask eyes went wide when he saw the cupcakes. "Oh. M. Geebus. DIBS!"

He rushed to the cupcakes, pulling his mask up a bit and started scarfing down the cupcakes. "These are SO good!" He was still scarfing them down when he saw his other visitor. "Oh! Hi shrinky dink! What's going on?"

[antvnger]

“Wade! Hi!” Scott greeted after he finished his cupcake. “I’m just grabbing a sweet snack before I head out on my mission.

Some idiot psychopaths stole experimental drugs that could help kids with certain diseases. The only stuff of its kind apparently, and these wackos stole them. Bastards. I’ve been asked to steal them back. And for the kids, I’m sure as hell taking this one.”

[thisisthewade]

"Oh those sick &@*#. Count me in!"

Wade jumped up onto the counter and lifted his finger. "Listen, I may be a dick at times. But there is ONE thing I will never EVER break on. Kids. THE CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE SCOTT! We need to help them!"

He then bent down and picked up another cupcake to eat. "Mmm. These are REALLY good."

[thisisthewade]

*Ant Mun drops Ant-Man into Deadpool’s territory with a plate of cupcakes and a mission to steal back some experimental drugs to help children that some idiots stole*

((Let’s see what happens.))

“Ooh!” Scott retracted his helmet and grabbed one of the cupcakes on the plate. “Red velvet.”

"DID SOMEONE SAY RED VELVET!? I LOVE RED VELVET!" Wade screamed as he pushed open the door. His mask eyes went wide when he saw the cupcakes. "Oh. M. Geebus. DIBS!"

He rushed to the cupcakes, pulling his mask up a bit and started scarfing down the cupcakes. "These are SO good!" He was still scarfing them down when he saw his other visitor. "Oh! Hi shrinky dink! What's going on?"

[thisisthewade]

"Hate fuck-ville....oh I could get with that. You wonder if silverspoon over here is like one of those top tier vibrators?" Wade realizes what he's saying and tears himself away from looking at the tags.

"Sorry, sorry. Okay. Kill dude. Sign over company. Got it! That shouldn't be too hard. There's a few ways I could probably do it. You see-"

Wade now stood there, covered in blood and a bit beat up. He was holding a signed contract also covered. "Well...that was easy. See? Didn't I tell you I could do it?"

[stxrksarc]

"Well, what the fuck are you doing standing around for, Wilson?" Iron Mun arched a brow.

"You've got an impatient employer who's waiting for you to get that contract back to him. But I recommend making sure it doesn't have any blood on it, too...because that probably won't hold up legally. Chop chop! The iron dick awaits!"

[thisisthewade]

"Ooo! That just made me tingle. I love how you said that." He then turned the contract over and looked it over. "Do you think some sugar water or something could get it out? I can't use bleach, it would just destroy it. Eh, I'll figure it out." He shrugged. "OH WAIT!"

"HEY NOT WADE MUN! FIX THIS!" He said shouting to the sky.

//sure Wade.

Almost instantly the contract was shiny and sparkling. just like new. "YES! Alright, I will be right back! You're about to be the new owner of..." He squinted and read the name of the company. "Put the pedal to the metal. Ores and more. Huh. Now I'm sad I killed that dude. His pun game was strong."

Wade made sure everything was set and ready to give to Tony. "DONE! And I did great!"

[thisisthewade]

"Well EXCUUUSSSEEE me. I'm gorgeous." He did one of those beauty poses and the back ground seemed tos parkle. However that disappeared rather quickly as he went back to work.

"Alright so this supplier. Tell me about them. Do you want me to beat them up? Send them to the pits of hell? Use a still in development invention on them? Heck, I can just sit on them if that's what you want." As he said this, a visual depiction of each option seemed to appear.

"Oh hold on." he then reached his head out of the screen. "Hi Iron Mun, it's so nice to see you again. Been a while. Alright, back to this self loving meglomaniac."

He then looked back at Tony. "I'm game for pretty much anything. Just see some of my one night stands."

[stxrksarc]

"Isn't it obvious? I want you to kill him, and there's an extra bonus in there if you can get him to sign over the company to me before you do," Tony replied, growing rather impatient with Wade's theatrics. And to think people said he was a dramatic attention whore.

[thisisthewade]

"Hate fuck-ville....oh I could get with that. You wonder if silverspoon over here is like one of those top tier vibrators?" Wade realizes what he's saying and tears himself away from looking at the tags.

"Sorry, sorry. Okay. Kill dude. Sign over company. Got it! That shouldn't be too hard. There's a few ways I could probably do it. You see-"

Wade now stood there, covered in blood and a bit beat up. He was holding a signed contract also covered. "Well...that was easy. See? Didn't I tell you I could do it?"

[thisisthewade]

Wade Gasped. "What? You don't like my beautiful looks!?" He undid his mask and made a smouldering look. His scared face just as messed up as it was yesterday. Though his teeth DID sparkle. He then put his mask back on. "But if you can make me NOT look like an old man's right nut while keeping my AMAZING healing factors, then I'd be willing to let Ryan go...for now." He shrugged.

[stxrksarc]

"Shows how far your head has been up your own ass, Wilson. I've been turning this city into a paradise of beauty and health. You really think even your freakish DNA is something I can't handle?"

Tony crossed his arms, rolling his eyes with a scoff escaping his lips.

"Take care of this supplier for me, and we'll talk more about what an on-going contract will look like for you. Health and beauty bonus included."

[thisisthewade]

"Well EXCUUUSSSEEE me. I'm gorgeous." He did one of those beauty poses and the back ground seemed tos parkle. However that disappeared rather quickly as he went back to work.

"Alright so this supplier. Tell me about them. Do you want me to beat them up? Send them to the pits of hell? Use a still in development invention on them? Heck, I can just sit on them if that's what you want." As he said this, a visual depiction of each option seemed to appear.

"Oh hold on." he then reached his head out of the screen. "Hi Iron Mun, it's so nice to see you again. Been a while. Alright, back to this self loving meglomaniac."

He then looked back at Tony. "I'm game for pretty much anything. Just see some of my one night stands."

[stxrksarc]

thisisthewade:

Wade leaned back in his chair. "Well....this just got interesting!" He tapped his chin then held up his fingers, as if he was counting. "I'll take a boat load of Chimichungas. A date night with Ryan Reynolds." He turned to the screen. "Talk about narcissicm." He then turned back to Tony. "And one of those gold cards for an all expense paid shopping spree. What? I need groceries."

Tony crossed his arms, amusement glistening over his features.

"Chimichangas, a hundred-dollar grocery gift card, and how about I fix that ugly mug of yours and keep you cancer free? Call it the superior benefits package."

// @thisisthewade //

[thisisthewade]

Wade Gasped. "What? You don't like my beautiful looks!?" He undid his mask and made a smouldering look. His scared face just as messed up as it was yesterday. Though his teeth DID sparkle. He then put his mask back on. "But if you can make me NOT look like an old man's right nut while keeping my AMAZING healing factors, then I'd be willing to let Ryan go...for now." He shrugged.

[stxrksarc]

“You must’ve heard I’ve been looking for you. I’ve got a little problem, and I hear you’re the best in business to take care of it.”

“A supplier for some of my rare metals has suddenly decided to sprout a conscience overnight and turn up his nose at the upgrades I’ve made to the city. Sure, I could go through the time and hassle of helping him see the light, but I’ve been a little too busy getting to know his mistress. It’s just easier if someone else takes care of him for me, you see?

“I’m a business man first and foremost; I delegate. This is me delegating. I know your kind has their price, so what I want to know is…What’s yours?”

[thisisthewade]

Wade leaned back in his chair. "Well....this just got interesting!" He tapped his chin then held up his fingers, as if he was counting. "I'll take a boat load of Chimichungas. A date night with Ryan Reynolds." He turned to the screen. "Talk about narcissicm." He then turned back to Tony. "And one of those gold cards for an all expense paid shopping spree. What? I need groceries."

[stxrksarc]

📲 - @thisisthewade

Congratulations [WADE CHOKE ON A DICK WILSON], you've been matched with:

Hank Pym

Thanos' Nutsack

Steve Rogers

Best of luck in all your romantic and/or sexual endeavors!

[thisisthewade]

"Oh shit!" He looks at the phone. "I GOT SOME GOOD ONES! Hey Steve want to show me America's ass? How about you Pym? Recreate that Thanus meme?"

[thisisthewade]

Wade grinned and moved his hand to grab the soap for himself. "Fine. Fine. Then we better hurry up and get cleaned! I'm sure we can find a reservation somewhere still. And then we can hit a flower shop before they close...or someone's garden." He then playfully slaps Clint's ass. "You have plenty of cake here, so I'm guessing you probably would like some ice cream or something."

[ahawkeyesview]

Barton lets out a yelp and then turns to glare at Wade and shook his head, "You want to go out right now? It's kinda late, isn't it?" he mostly teases, Clint rinsing his hair off.

[thisisthewade]

"Hey, I'm a romantic at heart. Isn't this what people always want to do? Be spontaneous and do random bs? I can even steal Steve's motorcycle so we can do that cliche trope of riding through a tunnel at night." Wade grinned as he washed off the soap and cleaned under his arms.

[thisisthewade]

"Well of course. Don't worry, I'm going to wash all over. I'm going to especially scrub a lot down low." Wade grinned as his eyes moved downward toward Clint's cock.

"So should I get started or do we want to get dirty more first?"

[ahawkeyesview]

Clint rolled his eyes, "Sorry, ain't gonna be that easy, Wade. Gonna have to buy me dinner first. And flowers. A definitely desert." the archer continuing to wash himself as if this was just any other day.

[thisisthewade]

Wade grinned and moved his hand to grab the soap for himself. "Fine. Fine. Then we better hurry up and get cleaned! I'm sure we can find a reservation somewhere still. And then we can hit a flower shop before they close...or someone's garden." He then playfully slaps Clint's ass. "You have plenty of cake here, so I'm guessing you probably would like some ice cream or something."

[thisisthewade]

“I’m you but from the past future self you”

*GASP!*

"Does that make me you from the future past others me?"

[verydeadpoolindeed]

“Nooooow you’ve just confused things.. I’m sure cable is around to explain the whole time jumping thing properly, or we could go into it more in deadpool 3. I’ll star and you be the side me”

“I’m thinking of a number between 1-10.. same time let’s say. Go. 3000”

[thisisthewade]

"420! UGH! SO CLOSE!"

"Wait, side you!? You're the side me!" He pointed his finger back and forth between them both. "This is all so confusing. Is this a new comic run or something? Is Ryan getting his ideas out for the third one?"

[thisisthewade]

“I’m you but from the past future self you”

*GASP!*

"Does that make me you from the future past others me?"

[thisisthewade]

"Hey @wxntersoldxt it's us! Look! Even Cable has a metal arm like you!"

[stxrksarc]

// is it just me or does this seem mildly pornographic?

[thisisthewade]

"It feels like a sean cody logo or something needs to be in the corner."

//right in front of my salad?//

[wxntersoldxt-deactivated2023063]

🐶 puppy

"Do you know there are 27 bones in a human hand? Would you like to see how long it takes for all of them to heal?"

[thisisthewade]

"Just so you know. I did not send this. I've learned my lesson since Not Wade Mun didn't read the tags or threads."

//thanks Wade.//

[antvnger]

Scott’s jaw drops when he sees the vial in Wade’s hand. The stolen Pym Particles?! “Nonononononononono WAIT!”

And then Wade drinks them. He just fricking drank Pym Particles.

🤯🤯

@thisisthewade

[thisisthewade]

"Oh come on! Don't you think that could be fun! I could fight a Godzilla if it showed up. OOO! Or you can grow and we can wrestle in the harbor!" He pictured the scene, a little thought bubble escaping his head to show it like a movie. "So cool."

Wade dangled from Scott's fingers and kicked his legs. "But alright, let's get me big again. Being 'honey I shrunk the kids' has been fun but just looking at how far I'd have to walk to get from one side of the table to the other looks exhausting."