"He picks up his holy-symbol skull, shakes it as he looks in the eye socket, and says 'Got anything in there? ...Ooo, a spell slot!'"
- Goblin Cleric using Harness Divine Power in the best way
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
todays bird
trying on a metaphor
Not today Justin
Xuebing Du
d e v o n
Keni

Andulka
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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One Nice Bug Per Day

Product Placement

pixel skylines

blake kathryn

ellievsbear
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

Kaledo Art

Discoholic 🪩
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@threegoblinsandarobot
"He picks up his holy-symbol skull, shakes it as he looks in the eye socket, and says 'Got anything in there? ...Ooo, a spell slot!'"
- Goblin Cleric using Harness Divine Power in the best way
"In Celery's name, achoo."
- Goblin Cleric
Goblin Barbarian: I buy a babydoll tee. Goblin Cleric: Is that babydoll sized for a goblin, or babydoll sized for a human so that it fits a goblin like a dress? Goblin Barbarian: No, it's a tee sized for a babydoll. I'm a little guy!
"Feet are the shoes of the body!"
- Goblin Barbarian, delivering mind-blowing insights
Goblin Barbarian: Some of my best friends are serial killers… like me! Goblin Cleric: Wow, yeah I guess it has been serial, hasn't it?
DM: Okay... you're up, Coin-Operated Boy. Warforged Player: Hey! That's racist!
Warforged: I need to make a request for augmentations. Artificer: Of course. What is it? Warforged: I have a dear companion back on the planet I was left on. They have needs that I am unable to fulfill as I currently am. Artificer: Okay…? Warforged: I need to have all the genital components of a humanoid. Everyone: [screams and/or laughs]
"...We know those are udon noodles."
- Mind flayer, about the goblins' attempt to disguise as illithid
"Green screens are racist!!"
- Goblin Rogue
NPC Cop: We have our top men working on it. Goblin Rogue: What about your top women? Goblin Barbarian: What about your bottom men?
NPC: Your friend there has had a lot of ex-wives. Goblin Barbarian: Really?? ...Wait. Does that mean that they really call you Little Jeh'ri because-- Goblin Cleric: NO.
"I mean who doesn't have a weirdly-shiny cousin??"
- Goblin Rogue, speaking truths
Warforged: [pops own arms off] Goblin Rogue: Now you're just showing off!! Warforged: Get good. Everyone: OHHHHH!!
[talking to their adopted warforged...] Goblin Rogue: Yeah, you got your tear ducts and smile muscles installed now! That's the whole range of emotions right there. Goblin Barbarian: Though… you really gotta stop laugh-crying. Save that one for special occasions. Goblin Cleric: Like, yesterday when you asked that guy for directions… that was not one of those occasions.
Goblin Rogue: How are those boards supposed to be good weapons?? They're too light. Don't they float in water? Goblin Barbarian: Yeah. But ducks float in water too. And they make great weapons! Goblin Rogue: Oh yeah, good point.
NPC Badguy: Kneel!! Goblin Rogue: We're goblins, so we're already short enough. Goblin Cleric: Kneeling's against my religion. Goblin Barbarian: I got bad knees.
"If I have to pretend to not want to eat raccoons, you have to pretend to not be bored during lunch."
- Goblin, to a Warforged