Nobody ever told me losing a job could cause grief.
It has been three weeks since my last day at the office, two months of job searching after a majority of my team and I got termination notices, and two weeks after my father also got laid off.
I don't wish ill towards my former employer. Shit happens. But I wish it had happened at some later day, at some later time. Not when I finally had plans for the future and was already feeling insecure whether or not I could provide for myself and my family.
I wish it didn't happen so I could spend more time living together with my girlfriend. She is my source of happiness and spirit to live on. I miss her laughs, her smiles, and just feeling safe when I am around her.
I wish I could have stayed employed longer so I could see the game I was working on fully released.
There are a lot of things I wish for, selfish wishes.
I know these are just wishes. And I know it's unwise to make such wishes when layoffs are affecting tens of thousands in Indonesia.
But I can't help but feel anger, sadness, and grief.
Because I feel like I wasted three years of my career on something that will not be appreciated or considered noteworthy by future employers (writing for video games?), I won't be able to spend time watching the starry skies with my girlfriend from our apartment roof, and I'm forced to return to a house where I don't feel safe.
I wish this had never happened to me. I wish I knew why I was not deemed important enough to be kept.
My sweetest bubblegum, the one who makes the world brighter and full of joy. I adore caressing your hair and holding you by my side, as it is a constant reminder of how sweet and beautiful you are.
It has been exactly three months since we have been together as lovers. It has been three months since the universe decided to bring our hearts close to each other, and with each passing second, my love for you only grows and expands, just like the cosmos itself.
Because on New Year's Eve, I made a wish upon the brightly lit sky that this year my life would be full of the sweetness of love. I promised myself that this year I'd open my heart to someone else's.
And on that eventful day, we decided to meet for the first time, my heart opened at its seams for you, and I'm glad that my heart found its place in yours too.
As there's no one and nothing in the world like you. And I will forever cherish you.
I will forever cherish you for being the sweetest bubblegum in my life,
Who makes me feel that the future will be alright,
Who shows me that I can love and be loved,
Who colors my world with your lovely laugh and smile, Who I can share all the talks and silences with effortlessly,
Who shows me that I can be better.
For every call,
Laugh,
Date,
Hug,
And Kiss,
I will cherish you and all the time we have spent for the past three months, today, tomorrow, and the future beyond.
But I know I have been far from perfect for you, but I hope I will always be there for you no matter what lies ahead beyond the edge of time.
Because you have shown me how easy it is to love and be loved, how effortless the tango is, and how to face the hardships the universe throws at us.
Together.
And in return, I will continue to strive to be there for you.
Through all the sunshine, rainbows, cloudy, and stormy days.
Through all the highs and lows.
Through the intense heat and harsh coldness of life.
I will continue to try to give you shelter within my existence, be a monument to all the joyful memories you will have, and an empty shell to nestle it all together deep in your heart and mind.
I can only pray that we will have all the time in the world, so we can gracefully walk into the halls of time, lovingly holding each other close,
for another day,
and the day after,
for another three months,
for another year,
and the year after,
for another decade,
for the eternity of the universe,
and until another one renews.
On New Year's Eve, I made a promise to myself as I watch fireworks that 2023 will be the year where I add spice and sweetness into my life. The year where I try to create new intimate relationships.
Because my curiosity was sparked by you. And now, that curiosity is blossoming into firecrackers of authenticity.
I genuinely want to know you better, even after when we first chat you tried to push me back because you think I would be disappointed with the truth.
I genuinely want to know you better, even after all the heresay I heard about you.
I don't know whether what I feel is love or curiosity, I don't know whether you'll accept someone like me, I don't know whether this will backfire on me professionally.
I don't care anymore. I just want to spend time with you so we know each other better.
the funniest thing about the latest twitter shitshow is that Elon’s mom has to run defense for him and his new shitty policy.
like if my mom has to defend me when I made the worst post of all year (on the platform I owned), I would simply delete my account, disappear and resign from my position as CEO
Neither Twitter nor Mastodon have the power to gaslight the internet over a fake movie with scripts, gifs from other movies, fanfics (technically fiction), fully orchrestated music, fanarts, and posters for free
From a weird brand logo
No but Mastodon has successfully gaslit political pundits over twitter to think Mastodon was created by John Mastodon
Hey, it's me your local anime dummyhead Rizki Salminen.
This isn't fandom post but since I have this place as a blog anyway, might as well use it for official announcement / longform thoughts.
No, this isn't a vtuber graduate or hiatus announcement, but I want to share my thoughts about the future of me, Rizki Salminen, moving forward in 2023-2024 and I want to explain it in a longform post to everyone and to my community.
This tweet from Theo about funneling past through my timeline recently, and it got me thinking about my path forward as a Virtual Youtuber. So think of this as like, the patch notes for 2023.
Before we get started, here are key objectives that I want to achieve in 2023-2024
Extend runaway until February 2024 (when Indonesia Presidential Election takes place)
To achieve these 3 goals, there will be changes to content format moving forward.
Less Game Streams
I'll just be honest with you all, the metrics for my gaming streams compared to Spicy Talk is extremely abysmal and after reviewing all the VODs for the past year or so, I realized that I am not exactly an entertaining streamer to watch when I play video games. So moving forward in 2023, there will be significantly less gaming streams.
For the ones that have been planned for long term such as Grounded and Destiny 2 streams, those will still continue. And I am committed to continue hosting Halo Infinite Customs Fiesta with other vtubers and streamers across Southeast Asia at least once or twice a month.
And I will still appear in other people's stream or collabs when they invite me to play on-stream, I just won't open my POVs
New Content: Spicy Bites @ Tiktok
I've noticed from my followers that a lot of you prefers Tiktok as your go-to destinations for content. I am a boomer, and I still don't understand Tiktok and I have been struggling to make my stream highlights for Tiktok.
So, I've decided to just make a dedicated content for Tiktok on Tiktok. Spicy Bites will be basically Spicy Talk you know and love in shorter format (like 2-5 minutes) that will be available on Tiktok and Instagram Reels. If I somehow made an even shorter one, I will post in on Youtube Shorts.
New Content: Spicy Meals @ Youtube (Tentative)
And if I can make Spicy Bites routinely and consistently, I will develop it further into longform video on Youtube. The format could be editorial + stream highlights, it could be full editorial commentary. Who knows, we'll see how Spicy Bites goes first.
New Content: Spicy Talk Highlights!
I know not a lot of you can watch Spicy Talk LIVE, so moving forward there will be edits of Spicy Talk that is more digestable and easier to watch on Youtube for those who missed it or want to save their data plans. I am preparing the final budget calculations for a part time editors, and I already have two candidates who are interested to do edits. I just need to write it down in contract (but I keep forgetting to do that)
Moving forward, there will be a seperate channels for stream archive too.
And yes, that's my plan for 2023. Although can I talk about something deep from heart? (CW: Suicidal Ideations, you can skip this part if it makes you uncomfortable)
2022 was my darkest and brightest years. I was jobless for 5 months, struggling financially and I was frustrated that after I sent 120+ CVs nothing went through until recently. I feel like a burden for my family and on February 2022, I was this close of buying Ricinus communis seeds to kill myself. I already prepared letters and letters of will too.
But that didn't went through after I saw light in the end of the tunnel. And what was the light?
You. All of you. Whether you are just a follower of me, member of the Salmonheads, my IRL friends, and my vtuber friends, or even just mutuals online...you guys made me realize that if I'm gone, there will be people who feel hurt and miss me.
Because for the longest time, I always thought people would celebrate if I'm gone. People would be happy if I die or kill myself. No more Rizki Salminen who has been a burden and trouble for the family since he was a kid, no more the son of a mother who wishes he were never born.
So, thank you. To all of you. You have proven that what my family said were wrong, you have proven what I thought wrong.
I have found my 'voice' as a Virtual Youtuber thanks to all of you, and it is now my responsibility to hone and sharpen it so my "voice" can reach more people. I know this will sound parasocial as-shit but I love you guys because you loved me.
So yea...that's all I gotta say.
Thank you and have a great Christmas and New Year! I'll see you guys in 2023 wherever you hang out online.
The "Kojima Review" rule of thumb is simple. If he tweets about the elements of the story within the film or the series, that means the film is good. Like, for example:
And if he labeled the tweet as multiple tweets, that means it's really good and you should probably watch it:
BUT
If Kojima considered the film "meh" or "bad", he would just simply tweet "Saw [the film title]"
SO FOR HIM TO TWEET THIS AFTER HE WATCHED BLACK ADAM MEANS.....
LMAOOOOO
"I didn't fall asleep watching it."
-Hideo Kojima, 2022
I love that one of the major things Osiris did after waking up is calling Clovis Bray son of a bitch and claims he has no equal. We are all concerned that after being in a coma mentally and physically for that long he would have a screw loose or two.
I think in the long run I might ended up sticking with tumblr as my new home, with mastodon on the side.
Because this place is really gonna be the last remnant of "Web 2.0" before we monetize everything to hell and back. Twitter isn't gonna get better anytime soon, in fact it's heading worse as fascist is being unbanned.
Post is run by dorks who have believe shit like this
"oh no don't discriminate against..." *checks notes* "rich people. Yea because billionares are totally a class worth protected. What a bunch of dorks.
Meanwhile Mastodon is just full of people circle-jerking about how much better Mastodon and defederated system is and it just reminds me of early 2000s Linux forum in the worst way possible!
(also spoiler alert: it isn't any better. I'll make a separate post about how defedarated systems is not resilient against the banality of evil)
Also discovering art and artist using their current system sucks ass and they have the weird culture (especially over the general instance) that 'demand' artist to put content warning over their artwork because "they didn't consent to the self-promotion of your own art" and other silly reasons.
You kinda have to join an art / content creator specific instance if you want people who can respect and appreciate artist.
So that leaves me with Tumblr, the only place where it's still weird and full of art even after Yahoo/Verizon tried to fuck this site over. (I left Tumblr after THAT shitshow)
And since Tumblr's gonna intergrate with ActivityPub soon (the thing that makes Mastodon, Mastodon), that just give me more reason to put some effort into my tumblr now.
I think I've worked out (part of the reason) why there's been such a huge uptick in folks who don't reblog things on here.
This post has like 14k notes right now, and the tags and comments and reblogs are FULL of people who didn't know about fast-reblog, and -- you guys have been slow-reblogging this whole time!?!??!?!?
In the interests of a) making your lives easier, and b) encouraging you to reblog posts, which is what keeps this site alive, here's how you fast-reblog:
On mobile: press and hold the reblog button. Your blog icon will appear. If you have sideblogs, all of the different icons will appear. Drag to whichever blog you want to reblog to, and release. Job done.
On desktop: hold down the E key and click reblog. Job done.
First thing I did was try to remember how to fast reblog again on here, it's super helpful. I see it still doesn't work on PC though, might still need a Tumblr extension on browser...
I also have twitter and other platforms ingrained in me- each time you rt you clutter up your twitter making stuff harder to find for other people and afaik you deboost other tweets that you made so im terrified of rting things LMAO
Let’s try to make it easier to find each other again! (This isn’t an “official” tags guide, just a suggestion)
Reminder: Tumblr tags can have spaces in them!
Feel free to reblog with your own recommended tags OR reply to this post and I’ll edit to add them in!
✨GENERAL TAGS✨
#Vtuber Uprising
#Vtubers of Tumblr
#2DVtuber
#3DVtuber
#vtubers are live
✨TREND TAGS✨
#vtuber vs irl
#vtubers are now watching
#vtubers are still watching
✨LANGUAGE/COUNTRY TAGS✨
I won’t list every language or nationality here because this list will be long asf, but you can just follow the general format of ABBREVIATION+Vtuber OR Vtuber+ABBREVIATION
#ENVtuber
#VtuberEN
#JPVtuber
#CHVtuber
#KRVtuber
Let’s build another home for our community here 💕
The Salmonboard @tilehopper - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
