baseball different from how i remember it
glad they added new maps to baseball
One Nice Bug Per Day
Doug Jones

gracie abrams
YOU ARE THE REASON
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
Color Me Curious
Today's Document
Misplaced Lens Cap
tumblr dot com
official daine visual archive

#extradirty
The Stonewall Inn

bliss lane

blake kathryn
NASA
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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Show & Tell
seen from Chile
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seen from Spain
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@time-lord-vonnegut
baseball different from how i remember it
glad they added new maps to baseball
I’m gonna break this down, line by line, and just be frustrated with the sheet stupidity about this for a minute.
Job 1: $1105 @ $7.25/hr = about 152 hours per month, about 38 hours per week for 4 weeks
Job 2: $955 @ $7.25/hr = about 131 hours per month, about 32 hours per week for 4 weeks
All together, $2060 per month at 70 hours per week working out of 168 total. Say that’s 5 days a week working both jobs, you’re looking at nearly 8 hours at job A and just over 6 at job B, leaving about 2 hour leisure time with 8 hours of sleep (lol) per day, not counting weekends. Neither job is full time, and neither job is at overtime. And if one job is McDonald’s and the other job is likely fast food or retail, this is most likely the maximum someone is being worked, but is likely not the case as store hours can change regularly, and/or overtime is granted due to poorly managed stores (from personal experience).
Of that income, expenses are:
$100 for savings per month, even though the average American has barely that much saved in general.
$600 for mortgage/rent, IN WHAT FUCKING PODUNK TOWN IN AMERICA???
$150 for a car payment, so long as it’s a beater car that probably breaks down every few miles.
$100 for car/home insurance, which, again, IN WHAT FUCKING ANYWHERE IN AMERICA??? Nowhere is it an option for car OR home insurance, and nowhere is it that cheap.
$20 for health insurance, which Obamacare/ACA pretty much guarantees that unlikely. In some states, this could be considered a poverty wage, and you might be lucky enough to quality for Medicare and Medicaid.
$0 for heating, which is some bullshit, even in most Southern states. Ah, yes, pinch those pennies by freezing to death!
$100 for cable/phone, which is again, bullshit. If you can haggle well enough, you can maybe get a deal for 1 of those services to be under $100, although Comcast is starting to come out with poverty line phone/cable/internet packages.
$90 for electric, which is a near impossibility in the South in the summer, and reads as utterly hilarious.
And $100 for “other”. What exactly is “other”? Who knows!
Allegedly, this means you’ll have $1260 spent with about $800 left for whatever. Except here’s the biggest rip: the average rent in most mid to large cities where most of these McJobs are have rent that is over $1000, with that $1260 as a pipe dream for “cheap rent”. That $800 is for everything other than rent. Including, but not limited to: food, gas, emergency medical treatment, pet needs, and everything in between, PLUS all of the “Monthly Expenses” listed in this chart other than rent.
Fuck this entire list. Fuck Visa and fuck McDonald’s.
Fight for $15.
They didn’t even take out any TAXES.
Nah, hold up. Socially liberal and fiscally conservative is only a bad thing when you tie “conservative” to this mess of a Republican Party. I’m all for the government spending money on social programs that will ACTUALLY help the most vulnerable of us. When I say I’m socially liberal and fiscally conservative, I mean that I believe the government shouldn’t spend money needlessly - like, for example, on a dumb fuckin wall or shouldn’t spend nearly $400,000,000,000 more than any other country on the military when the last time a country invaded the US they carried goddamn muskets. Tax dollars going to education and social programs? Good. Tax dollars going to executive golf trips? Bad.
“My prettiest contribution to the culture” was how the novelist Kurt Vonnegut described his old master’s thesis in anthropology, “which was rejected because it was so simple and looked like too much fun”. The thesis sank without a trace, but Vonnegut continued throughout his life to promote the big idea behind it, which was: “stories have shapes which can be drawn on graph paper”.
In a 1995 lecture, Vonnegut chalked out various story arcs on a blackboard, plotting how the protagonist’s fortunes change over the course of the narrative on an axis stretching from ‘good’ to ‘ill’. The arcs include ‘man in hole’, in which the main character gets into trouble then gets out again (“people love that story, they never get sick of it!”) and ‘boy gets girl’, in which the protagonist finds something wonderful, loses it, then gets it back again at the end. “There is no reason why the simple shapes of stories can’t be fed into computers”, he remarked. “They are beautiful shapes.”
Rags to riches: The Divine Comedy
Riches to rag: Madame Bovary
Oedipus: Frankenstein
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Things That Don’t Matter Anymore…
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What Would A Mediocre White Man Do? (new mantra to live by!)
this is SO REAL both the specific case and the broad case in the specific case: if you actually met 100% of the requirements they couldn’t afford you I tell this to every woman I talk to job hunting about APPLY ANYWAY THE MEDIOCRE WHITE MEN ARE DOING IT (via @galwednesday)
“if you actually met 100% of the requirements they couldn’t afford you”
I really needed to hear this. I had never thought of it this way. This literally never occurred to me, I’ve just spent my whole adult life thinking I was underqualified for everything. Thinking I’m not good enough for anything because the “minimum requirements” are so high.
I need specifics. I wanna know what I can get away with. I wanna know what they really mean by “minimum.” I wanna know how much I’m actually worth.
As someone who worked in hr, this is true.
True to the point that if someone was extremely unqualified, but because of timing we were desperate, we’d bend rules to get them hired. And the only people taking advantage of this were guys.
If you actually met 100% of the requirements they couldn’t afford you.
Really needed to hear this today
No one is 100% qualified for a job. A job posting is a “wish list,” not a list of requirements. I find people jobs for a living and I don’t think I’ve ever found someone that fits each and every thing on a job posting. - Your friendly neighborhood recruiter
All of today’s memes are just recycled from Season 2 of Community.
okay now they have a wnba player and her fiancee talking about their dogs and her fiancee talked about how she proposed by putting the ring on her dogs collar and then she (the basketball player) was like “i was so surprised because i had already bought a ring and i was planning on proposing!” so then she dressed up their other dog in a wedding dress and proposed back and im just like. love is real everybody
this is pretty gay
So gey
Her name is Elena Delle Donne and I went to school with her! She's amazing.
ugh how the fuck do you cover letter
Greetings, Exalted One. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Solo.
I know that you are powerful, mighty Jabba, and that your anger with Solo must be equally powerful. I seek an audience with Your Greatness to bargain for Solo’s life.
With your wisdom, I’m sure that we can work out an arrangement which will be mutually beneficial and enable us to avoid any unpleasant confrontation.
As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: these two droids. Both are hardworking and will serve you well.
I want to anonymously apply for a job using this template.
anakin doesn’t have house guests very often
damn kay you tell her
Obi-Wan cuts off so many limbs
he cuts off Darth Maul’s legs (2)
he cuts off Savage Opress’ arm (1)
he cuts off Grievous’ hands (2, probably, but Grievous has so many I lose count)
he cuts off many of Anakin’s limbs (3)
and so many other random people in bars have lost their limbs to Obi-Wan Kenobi
Obi-Wan is a menace
considering that he is now dead and existing as a force ghost
one might even call him
a phantom menace
hey! hey! no
Bonus:
“Like my father before me…”
#this quote is so misunderstood#people poke fun at Luke for saying this#as if he is somehow still naive enough at this stage to think that his father was perfect#but of course that’s NOT what this line means at all#rather he is saying that he will never turn to the dark side#and that thus he is a Jedi like his father before him#this is after Sidious has already informed him that his father can *never* be turned back from the dark side#and here Luke is throwing this back in the Emperor’s face#and at the same time reminding his father of his true self as Anakin Skywalker#he is saying this in defiance yes#but also for his father’s benefit#he is calling him back to the light with these words#and you know what?#it WORKS (via the-far-bright-center)
Luke is FAR more clever than 90 percent of the fanbase give him credit for. They either think he’s a whiny useless child, a dumb blond, or an innocent baby child.
He is an extremely intelligent individual who thinks very well under pressure. And he sees right through the emperor, right from the moment he walks in. Luke in RotJ is very hard to fool or intimidate. He’s had people doing both his entire life and he’s caught wise to it. Luke is no longer being guided by Yoda and Obi-wans plans, as much as he cares for them. He is forging his own path, finishing it on his terms. Terms that don’t require him to kill his own father to save the galaxy.
THIS is the moment that he becomes the first of the new order, when he chooses not to kill his father, a sith lord. When he stakes everything he has on Vader returning to the light. And you know what, the clever bastard saw clearer than anyone. He knew without any doubt that his father would turn back and was willing to give his life without a second thought.
galactic meme culture in star wars
bottoms up and the sith lord laughs
chancellor 👏palpatine 👏 did 👏 geonosis👏
Dicks out for han solo
the bubble opera but every time sheev mentions the dark side it gets faster
DONT👏 CALL 👏YOURSELF 👏A 👏REBEL 👏IF 👏YOU 👏HAVENT 👏PERSONALLY 👏BLOWN 👏UP 👏THE 👏DEATH 👏STAR👏
order 66: executed
the jedi: dead
dicks: out
THE JEDI ORDER IS FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM THE GALAXY
“The Jedi Order has resorted to sending a council member to spy on me. Sad!” - @realSheevSPalpatine
All Your Echo Base Are Belong To Us
want to feel old? this is obi-wan kenobi now.
Hello Naughty Younglings It’s Murder Time
if you can’t handle me at my in pieces exposed wires C-3PO, then you don’t deserve me at my shined and fresh out the oil bath C-3PO.
does Luke Skywalker is gay?
Me: so what do you think about the rebellion?
Date: Im actually a huge supporter of the Empire. Theyre pushing this galaxy in the right direction.
Me, shoving nutrient packs into my purse: sorry my uncle Fulcrum called I have to go-
midichlorians are the power house of the jedi
Jedi will travel across the galaxy to Jedha just to get kyber crystals for their lightsabers
They crave that mineral
Reasons why Rogue One should become a Broadway musical:
1. Bodhi Rook deserved an “I Want” song about how terrible life in the Empire is and how he wants to pursue his dreams
2. Why would you give Krennic such a dramatic cape and personality if he wasn’t going to storm through the Death Star booming loudly about the unimaginable power and potential of the battle station
3. Why would you waste the opportunity to have Darth Vader dramatically and sinisterly reprise Krennic’s own song about unimaginable power as he looms above him
4. Angry duet between Cassian and Jyn as she finds out what his mission was and he rejects that side of him and points out how he’s a good guy and remembers that he has a heart
5. K-2SO sideshow number
6. Galen Erso singing “Stardust” to Jyn, with a gentle first run, a sad dying number, and then a reprise as she finds the plans–the whole song was the code to find the plans
7. Chirrut and Baze love ballad
8. Princess Leia can sing at the end. It would be revolutionary.
9. “So You’ve Seen Saw”, a bombastic and inescapable number that Saw sings as he interrogates Bodhi and introduces himself
10. This started out as a joke but now I actually genuinely want this you can’t tell me it wouldn’t work Disney get on this please
Vader: Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you.
Leia Organa, literally two hours after flying away from Scarif whilst flipping Vader the bird and sending a transmission reading "the Empire can SUCK my DICK": I don't know what you're talking about.