Bruce: What's got you looking so down? Usually, you're brighter than the sun for our monthly coffee and pastries day.
Clark: Sorry, I'm happy for our monthly meet-up, but I've been stressed lately. It's Jon; he's been having trouble in school.
Bruce: What kind of trouble?
Clark: There's this kid who keeps picking on him. Lois thinks he needs to ignore him and tell a teacher when something happens, but she was never bullied like Jon and me, so she doesn't get it. Jon knows not to use his powers to defend himself, but I don't want him to just take it, you know?
Bruce: Bullies are the worst. I had my fair share in school.
Clark: Really? You?
Bruce: I wasn't always the dizzy playboy. In school, I was severely depressed about my parents' death and chose to take comfort in the alternative style.
Clark: You were emo in middle school?
Bruce: I was emo in middle school, high school, and some of college. Got picked on every day for it. It's insane to hear my kids say it's cool now.
Clark: Times have truly changed. Did you know Jon says anime is in now, too?
Bruce: Yes, Damian adores it. Also, get this: Tim openly plays Dungeons & Dragons, and he even cosplays in public without anyone blinking an eye. Kids think everything nerdy or geeky is cool now.
Clark: That's insane.
Bruce: Really makes someone feel their age, huh? By the way, why is that kid picking on Jon?
Clark: Wish I knew. Apparently, the unmannered young man-
Bruce: You can say the little shit. It's fine. Ma Kent is not around.
Clark: Apparently, that little shit just thinks Jon deserves to suffer. And there is nothing I can do about it! I've tried talking to his teachers and school, but there is only so much they can do!
Bruce: You know, whenever my kids have trouble in school with bullies, I always solve it using my connections.
Clark: Thanks, Bruce, but I don't think you'll have enough influence in a Metropolis school. I mean, you could bribe their parents, but-
Bruce: Oh no, not those kinds of connections. I meant the ones in the After Life.
Clark: ....what?
Bruce: I have connections in the After Life. Say the word, and I can have the Prince of Ghosts here within the hour. He'll pose as a regular human boy who can handle Jon's bully for him.
Clark: He's not going to...kill anyone, is he?
Bruce: I don't kill. Just severely mentally scar anyone who thinks they can mess with my kids. The Prince has this wonderful ability to trap someone in their own mind!
Clark: .....You worry me.
Bruce: I get that a lot
Clark: But for my son, I'm willing to overlook it. What's the prince's name?
Bruce: Phantom. His name is Danny Phantom, and he's been my friend since I was ten years old. Trust me, Jon has nothing to worry about. Danny will have everyone thinking a great Evil has rested in that school by the end of the week.