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@tinsworth
“What if raccoons figured out the secret to starting fires?” is the scariest hypothetical question my dad has ever posed
that’s the distinction between goblins and raccoons
if I was rich i would absolutely go all out weird. commission books handwritten in a made up language. erect strange black spires in the wood. buy a boat, make it look like a perfect copy of one that was used in an 18th century antarctic expedition, and then let it drift to shore miles away. i want every interaction with me to leave people with a sense of impending cosmic horror.
me, painstakingly arranging a fake alien-like skeleton sitting at a desk in the hidden room behind my bookcase: this is going to be so cool when they find this in 50 years
I was a professional juggler for like five years and all of my friends politely pretend it never happened.
Sometimes I will be holding three or more similarly sized objects and they will all shoot me the kind of warning glances typically reserved for cats who are about to swipe a fresh and crispy fish stick from a small child’s hand.
I gaze wistfully at a basket of apples and they all think, “Don’t you FUCKING dare,” so hard that I take psychic damage.
trying to convince my roommate not to eat tinfoil
stop it bastard
Is the cats name tinfoil?
On the spectrum of fae traps meant to lure in the unwary and fool them into being stuck in the Courts, the “open box of raspberry Zingers in the bathroom at the 24 hour Starbucks” seems to have a very goblin energy to it.
This is how you introduce a fuckin villain in dnd
Se atormenta una vecina.
EL DRAMA ES INMINENTE.
1d are flat earthers sadly
How do you catch a hawk?!
wallace and gromit american dub
yo gromit this bread slaps
I am average american man I work fifteen hours in hamburger mine to buy one rock and roll disk
this is a kgb spy being questioned by the police in 1985
I do not think you know what that word means, friend. I am a feminist because I stand up for women. Not chickens.
You stand up for human women, I’ll keep standing for all women
ok uh… how is a chicken a woman?
BEHOLD
A WOMAN
due to personal reasons i will be letting moss grow on me
due to circumstances that i will not elaborate on i shall be getting lost in the moss
for purposes that don’t concern you i intend to decompose
Barely Any Ketchup