Buck's left nipple ring from 2015

description

[that-was-tedious]

we as a fandom moved on from bucks knitting circle far too quickly

[ivviannaa]

mycentaurs are NOT groaning at hollanov's pda or telling them to get a room or feeling even a morsel of discomfort when they kiss in the locker room. they are enablers and romantics. one of the first things we see when troy comes out and says he's dating harris is bood telling him to give harris a good luck kiss, and i wholeheartedly believe they're all the same way with shane and ilya. they're at a barbecue and it's why do you need another chair?? just sit on his lap you're married?? if they aren't bickering at practice, everyone turns into amateur marriage counselors and forces them to kiss and make up. the rookies call them their mom and dad (with bood as a third parent and being daddy, of course). they could start describing their sex life in detail and at least 3/4 of the room would be nodding their head and asking follow up questions. that locker room is shameless and supportive

[ilya-sweetheart]

drunk shane leaning into ilya’s shoulder, jacket off, hair messy, eyes closed and lips red from kissing and drinking wine “som’times i wizsh i could eat’your heart so that you (hiccup) you’re always inside me”

ilya, equally as drunk and suddenly a poet of profound wisdom “ ‘nd i wish i could live in your cage of ribs, the bones around your heart — the fuck whats its called, whatever — and never ever leave ever”

both nodding in complete agreement “ilya do y’think we can do voluntary organ transplants with eachother?”

“we have same blood type so yes. probably. we are rich so who cares. tomorrow we call doctor”

“okay <3”

wyatt caught all this on tape and shows the team in the morning. somehow no one is surprised, least of all hollanov

[quillquiver]

I really do think that a lot of the guys in the MLH - whether they’re self-proclaimed allies or not - end up feeling pretty awkward and/or weird around Shane and Ilya when they first come out. Whether because of the rivalry or the queer thing, there’s an adjustment period for a lot of people… and I think, beyond player opinion kind of having to change because Shane and Ilya break so many pre-conceived notions and stereotypes of queer men, most of the guys are just really, really ignorant of what two men even do together in a relationship. Especially those two.

And so I think that when it becomes clear that Shane and Ilya have not in fact had personality transplants, and are not only still the same dudes but are now in a relationship with their best bro, some players do have a record scratch moment. Like, it’s bordering on the edge of jealousy. It’s very much a: “is this what you guys do all day? you just hang out and play chel and order in?” And “you guys went to the Super Bowl this weekend? That was the date you went on?” And “wait so it’s just like - you spend all day every day with your bro just shooting the shit and having a good time but you also fuck? which is hot obviously because you want to fuck. and are always horny. and know your way around the equipment. because you’re both dudes.”

“Uh… yeah?”

“Yes.”

And half the Boston Raiders leave that conversation thinking: being gay sounds awesome?

[mythmagicetc]

i haven’t had much to say about 911 recently. i should get mad about tommy again

[thememedaddy]

[sawed-on-shotgun]

unfortunate truth of reality is that oftentimes 15 year olds will say/do/believe some stupid bullshit because they are 15 but telling them that they believe that because they are 15 is probably the most counterproductive thing in the entire universe

[kitdkat]

Woah god is every Buddie rain scene really super traumatic I just realized this.

1. Buck digging for Eddie in the rain

2. Eddie climbing the ladder to Buck when he got struck by lightning.

3. Buck hugging Eddie goodbye.

Rain is cursed is the curse going to break with a rain kiss.

[adorebuckley]

Bobby: Buck, can I talk to you for a minute?

Buck: Ooooooooh someone's in troubleeee!

Bobby:

Buck:

Buck: It's me

Buck: I don't know why I did that.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Hen: Why are you hiding from Buck?

Eddie: I'm not hiding, just avoiding being in the same room.

Hen: It's your turn to be his sous chef and you love getting ordered around by him, what's going on?

Eddie: I think I have horny ptsd.

Hen: And hopefully a concussion too because what the hell is that?

Eddie: I was in his way in the kitchen and he grabbed my waist to move me aside and I almost moaned his name in front of all the A-shift.

Hen: Oh, Eddie.

Eddie: I can't have that happen again. I will die of embarassment.

Hen: Tell you what, I'll be the buffer chef today and keep Buck's hands off your waist.

Eddie: Thank you. Please don't tell Karen about this.

Hen: You have until our next wine night to tell her yourself.

Eddie: Deal.

[magnoliamyrrh]

the year is 2035. the new beauty standard is for women to cut their ears off, as ears are a masculine trait which make the face look too big and hearing isnt necessary as it doesnt align with being demure. evil feminists say perhaps this is unnecessary and ears are natural. women are agressively proclaiming they are cutting their ears off due to sensory issues

[gethsemare]

i feel that one night at a bar after a centaurs win (after shane and ilya are married), someone would tipsily bring up hotel room phone sex.

none of the teammates, most of them now married, are unaware of the trials and tribulations of the thin walls and the awkwardness that plagues the first couple minutes of it.

the conversation soon steers into the guys being jealous of ilya and shane for being able to share a hotel room and never having to deal with it.

with ilya on shane’s lap, he reaches back and gives him a short and reaffirming squeeze on the nape of his neck.

nobody in that room truly knew how long they had to get by on solely video calls. how those few minutes in hotel rooms across the country meant the world to them.

but with a few beers and cocktails with little umbrellas in them, ilya didn’t want to open the can of worms of doom and despair.

instead, he leaned his head back and belly laughed when Bood complained about his phone sliding off of his makeshift pillow phone stand for the 7th time in one session, and offered a bit of advice.

“seriously— you all have skype sex like cavemen. hollander here.” he said as he tugged on his husbands earlobe that was now turning a bright shade of fucsia, “ introduced me to the wonders a tripod will do on our second time.”

absolute silence fell over their group.

choruses of remarks resembling fuck, its genius.. why didn’t i think of that.. erupted.

- -

with a few beers of his own in his system, he sent the amazon purchase link to the entire team group chat that same night.

the one from all those years ago just so rozanov could see his dick and his glasses at the same time.

the amazon fulfillment center had never been so confused on why over a dozen different grown men were buying a 13 year old tripod within a 20 minute timespan to be delivered within 30 minute distances of each other.

[anik]

i love this guy

[mutinsfromthemoon]

after they start dating and spend more time at each other’s houses, ilya starts seeing shane with his glasses on more often and he simply cannot help himself. the second those glasses go on ilya is on him, pounding him into the nearest surface. and of course shane is loving it at first because he always loves when ilya is all over him, but after a while it actually starts getting in the way of important things because shane needs his glasses to read emails, contracts, any important paperwork from montreal or wherever else. now he has to do all that stuff secretly from ilya or only when he’s alone at his apartment. after they’re married things got slightly better cus shane with glasses remains ilya’s biggest weakness and the only time shane can actually get his work done with ilya around is if they’re cockwarming or if they make a deal that shane’s going to read at least a chapter or two of his books. and you better believe he's getting fucked within an inch of his life later.

[mutinsfromthemoon]

shane and ilya is with troy and harris somewhere and a woman came up to shane and start to talk with him like “do you work out?” and shane’s like “oh, yes, i do work out a lot” and she’s like “but how did you became so big like that?” and troy chimes in and ask “do you want to get big?” and she’s like “oh no, i don’t want to get big i want him” pointing to shane and ilya is SEETHING and pulls shane close to him, wrapping an arm around his waist. troy and harris are cackling and shane is also finding it funny and happy that someone thinks he gained some more muscles. the only person hating it is ilya and when they get home he calls svetlana irritated as fuck to tell her what happened then shoving the phone toward shane like “tell her what that woman told you. stop laughing it’s not funny. people are trying to steal my man!” and svetlana is just losing it on the other end while shane is also cracking up and ilya is just standing there like “sveta it’s not funny” while both of them are laughing even harder

[ladyelspeth14]

in his last year in boston, ilya calls shane’s number a lot, mostly to listen to his boring voicemail message:

hi, you’ve reached shane hollander. i’m sorry i can’t take your call right now. i’ll get back to you as soon as i can. thank you!

one night, with the bribe of a lot of soft kisses, shane finally finds out why he always has so many missed calls from ilya.

“your voice makes me relaxed, shane,” ilya tells him. “is like you’re talking to me. i—i miss you, a lot.”

so shane records a new voicemail greeting every week, referencing something he loves about ilya, or jokes that only ilya could understand.

it became their little secret.

and yuna wonders why shane, who has never changed his voicemail message since he first got a cellphone, is suddenly doing all this.

[bambicoded]

firm believer that while shane has his endorsements and is the face of every commercial, ilya is making a cameo in every action movie that'll have him. im talking fast and furious, mad max, pacific rim. he's a background character in a casino scene for one of the james bond movies. he's in fucking john wick. kingsman. godzilla. you name it. and he is proud of it, calls himself a movie star, "in more movies than rose landry!" just to get a rise out of shane. he's already ripped as fuck, anyway, he fits right in.

*this post brought to you by me specifically wanting ilya to have channing tatum's cameo in bullet train as "guy on the train who thinks the illegal crime dealings is a sex thing and wants to participate". i see that for him i really do. and then he'd get to meet benito, too.