"Cap I like"

I come in and out of my hole randomly, so expect shotgun sized posts of my sick sense of humor from time to time.

[catchymemes]

[tjcyclone]

"Hello Karen"

[catchymemes]

[images-that-are-only-cursed]

[patriciavetinari]

That’s not a cursed image

[karnalesbian]

Chess v2.001 Patch Notes

- Fuck pawns knights bishops and kings

- Rooks go hog wild

[whitepeopletwitter]

[coolsaddad-blog]

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

[feels-for-the-fictional]

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

[marzipanandminutiae]

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

[ineptshieldmaid]

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

[squeeful]

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

[last-flight-of-dickarus]

Hirple - To limp or walk awkwardly

Cirple - An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse

[nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear]

“Roses are red, violets are purple,

My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”

…

My, how romantic!

[wouldthatcreationhadformedmeman]

DYING. I AM DYING.

[kiranovember]

Calling theshitpostcalligrapher! We need @theshitpostcalligrapher

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

@kiranovember u better buy this as a commission lmao

[simonalkenmayer]

This post has evolved.

[minotaur-in-my-labyrinth]

I am 100 percent all for every part of this thread. I have laughed loudly and long. Thank you, thou glorious purple-hirple rhyme.

[lgbtcaptains-deactivated2020101]

no one:  jeff goldblum: skskskksksksk me: i felt that 

[90stvqueen]

today i told my manager "just because i can handle anything doesn't mean i should have to" and if that isn't just the motto of my life

[sapphic-romeo]

Good tags OP

[90stvqueen]

it's the working class struggle!

[catchymemes]

[marvellegends]

Smooth Miles being smooth.

[therightprometheanfire]

[heelsandswords]

#every single spider person in the multiverse has to share their one braincell it’s really tragic for them

[artemis-the-sinister]

Part of me thinks Gwen shouldn’t be counted in this, the other part remembers the “Gwanda” scene

[pandyssian-deactivated20210112]

OH MY GOD APPARENTLY TAKING AN ARROW TO THE KNEE WAS AN OLD NORDIC SLANG FOR GETTING MARRIED 

I THOUGHT THAT ALL THOSE GUYS IN SKYRIM HAD LITERALLY BEEN SHOT IN THEIR KNEES WITH ARROWS BUT I GUESS NOT

[dameofspace]

And at that moment, the foundation of that entire meme became something like this:

[heyaeya]

THAT EXPLAINS WHY MEN GO DOWN ON ONE KNEE WHEN THEY PROPOSE

[crinosg]

Oh they were shot in the knee by an arrow…..BY CUPID.

[testicleexplosiongirl]

I knew this tbh, but i have to still laugh that it took people this long to realize this

[azzandra]

Plot twist: meme is actually centuries old.

[voi-che-sapete]

Great realization: the female guards say the line too, which means a bunch of lady Nords have been the ones to get down on one knee and propose

[nyanbinyuri]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[lolotehe]

[epic-games-official]

That's valid

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[anxietyproblem]

[beccafromaphistory]

rip to all the kids who used to reads books cover to cover in one sitting and now can’t find the energy to read for fun

[ultrafacts]

When an individual crab finds a new empty shell it will leave its own shell and inspect the vacant shell for size. If the shell is found to be too large, the crab goes back to its own shell and then waits by the vacant shell for anything up to 8 hours. As new crabs arrive they also inspect the shell and, if it is too big, wait with the others, forming a group of up to 20 individuals, holding onto each other in a line from the largest to the smallest crab. As soon as a crab arrives that is the right size for the vacant shell and claims it, leaving its old shell vacant, then all the crabs in the queue swiftly exchange shells in sequence, each one moving up to the next size.

Here is footage from the BBC of this happening: [x]

(Fact Source)

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts!

[ghostnightbride]

[thepurple-person]

Yes it is

[whitepeopletwitter]

[adhd-alien]

Why I didn’t get diagnosed until 28 and was told I’m “too quiet” to have ADHD

(Alternative title: How instead of getting ADHD treatment I developed Anxiety to cope)

[tjcyclone]

80% of this for me

[tastefullyoffensive]

Animal Puddles (more)

[tjcyclone]

PloooooooP