Another house md episode!
12 year old: idk guys, my mom says I shouldn't go to the rat fights anymore..
His 14 year old brother: what are you? A wuss?
12 year old: :( come on, stop!
14 year old: you're gonna get rabies and die!!
House: *in clinic duty, meeting boy* mommy not give you enough attention?
Boy: my perants are getting divorced :(
House: *sees strange brown splotch* hmm, I'm taking you now.
-later in proper hospital-
Chase: y'know, I was sick when I was a kid once
Mother: what's happening?!
Foreman: he's going into hypervibrosis!
*we get close up of them putting a tube down his throat*
-meanwhile in Wilson's office-
Wilson: so you chose him because his perants are getting divorced?
House: no, it's because he's interesting.
House: maybe it's rabies, that or he's pregnant, take your pick
Chase: he's not rabid, he's just got a bruise and is sad because of his perants divorce.
Foreman: how would you know? Did your perants ever divorce?
House: do a lumbar puncture
Cameron: but if he twitches his back he'll touch a nerve or something
House: honk shoo honk shoo
Cuddy: house! Can I talk to you 🥺❓
House: uh oh, WOMAN alert!
Cuddy: someone is suing you for one million dollars
House: guess my severe gambling addiction will have to wait until I've sorted this out.
Older brother: I'm sorry I made you go to the rat fights, here, I brought you something *pulls out dead rat*
Sick brother: :) *goes into stroke*
Foreman: it must be crazy mouse disease!
Chase: no way, that's only in Rat City
Foreman: you got any better ideas
House: either way, kid's losing his eyeballs, might as well just run the test
Older brother: wait!! It's me! I've been giving him rats!
Cameron: you were taking him to rat fights, that's why he was bit by a rat!
Older brother: it's our perants divorce, I was too hard on him 😞💔
House: thanks for owning up to it, now we can pin the hospital bill on you!
-cut to them giving the kid some pills and him laughing and smiling with his dead rat, Paramore starts playing as the camera pans over everyone looking at a picture of a rat and their perants in their selective offices-