There are never too many elves.

This blog is run by 3 gnomes in a trench coat. aka the main blog of nonsense that cleverly disguises my ic blogs and their lack of posts. 

[adoring-suggestion]

The adhd modes of food

1. You ate that burger so fast. You ate that burger so fucking fast and now the whole Red Robin is staring at you god what the fuck

2. You started eating like a normal person, but then you started talking or daydreaming and now the waitress is handing you the check but you’ve still got half a plate of cold fettuccine

3. You were going to go out to eat, but then you saw a video in your YouTube recommendation that drew you towards it like moth to a flame, and now it’s 10 pm and you’ve got an empty bag of tortilla chips in your hand and shame in your heart

4. Mac And Cheese

[prettysicksupply]

5. You got engrossed in a project, suddenly you feel like you’re going to die, or faint, or both? Oh. you’re hungry.

6. You’re hungry.  But every food you can think of sounds disgusting.  Time for your 15th day of lunchables for breakfast in a row.

[academicblorbo]

7. The food you’ve been obsessively eating for the past 2 weeks and you relied on is now the grossest thing you could put in your mouth

[pragnificent]

This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life. 

[thingsamylikes]

I reblogged her late last year and my 2024 has been very satisfying work-wise and (secure enough to not stress out) money-wise so far. Money Snake is wise and good.

[carpecake]

Not worth taking the risk

[claudiamatossilva]

Hilda by Duane Bryers

[badkidgorgug]

More Hilda!!

[themockingcrows]

in this family we love and support Hilda.

[i-am-the-narwhal]

Yes! Hilda!

[luidilovins]

What i love about this artist’s depictions of women is even the sexualized ones the woman is always genuinely happy and enjoying herself. Frolicking or making funny faces, she’s living her life and looking sexy while doing it, not sitting in a sexual pose for the audience’s view.

[squish-this]

I always forget about Hilda and am so pleased when she randomly shows up on my dash. Always makes my day

[snailfarts]

I love Hilda so much and I want her to be happy

[numinous-queer]

My favorite thing is how Hilda is always doing something and having a BLAST! She’s not posing coyly for anyone, she’s having her own adventures and it’s not about the viewer at all

[rosellacwrites]

Always reblog Hilda!

[sumi-sprite]

HILDA MY LOVE

[egberts]

[guccixcucci]

[guccixcucci]

[jebbyfwish]

[distinguishedbaloney]

[wivernryder]

The auxiliary water pump on my car broke (the plastic rotted and cracked so it was spewing coolant everywhere) and the mechanic wanted me to pay $300 for a $150 part.

I went to an auto store and bought the part for just under $150 and was gonna have the mechanic install it until I called them back and they said they don’t install customer parts.

So I figured if they won’t install customer parts, they’ll at least fix existing problems with the vehicle.

So, naturally I poorly installed the new part myself, then took it to the mechanic saying I had coolant issues and wasn’t sure what the problem was. They fixed the problem in under 20 minutes and only charged me $30 for the labor.

[fattyatomicmutant-deactivated20]

Ho l y

Imma try that last one

[hotmolasses]

I went to my doctor’s office and asked if they had any slots open for that day.  They told me they don’t take walk-ins, you have to call ahead for an appointment.

So I pulled out my phone and called the office.  The other receptionist answered the phone and the first one literally WATCHED ME say “I’d like to make an appointment today if you have any slots available.”

He said to me (on the phone) all they had available was for 9:00, could I make it in time?

I said “Yep, I’m standing right here.”

He didn’t understand what I meant and happily put my appointment down.

I hung up and said to the original receptionist, “Hi, I have an appointment in five minutes.”

She (very angrily) entered me as arrived and gave me my forms.

[anarchistmemedistro]

bureaucracy works hard but humans work harder

[photofeesh]

Yaaaaas 😍

[truechaosseed-deactivated202405]

[glitchinthesystemstuff]

“Son, you best get t’steppin’ if’n y’don’t want this lil doggy.”

*aggressively brandishes gnoll who speaks like a rural Canadian*

[sexycraisinthanos]

i almost scrolled past this like a fool

[raevenlywrites]

Its me, your feral godmother

[raevenlywrites]

*waves a wand and grants you the teeth and claws to fuck your evil step family up*

[raevenlywrites]

Good luck kid you're in a reverse beauty and beast situation. Do not let that princely motherfucker fall in love with your inner humanity or the spell will fail and you'll turn human again

[raevenlywrites]

Good news if you bite his ass you can start a pack together. Go forth. Enjoy the ball

[raevenlywrites]

You can bite a princess too if you want. Or a milkmaid, or a butler or whatever. Go nuts. The more the merrier

[raevenlywrites]

#misread as feral hogmother

That's my girlfriend, she's rooting for you too

[raevenlywrites]

#investing at 70 notes

That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about a post of mine that wasn't an addition to a post of someone else's XD

[raevenlywrites]

#posts that will become Tumblr heritage

I wish. I don't think it's even gonna crack 500 notes

[amnesiaguy]

dnd paladin character concept: a knight raised alongside a magic user, who loves his friend, considers them family — but the magic user through a twist of fate ascends to godhood, vanishing from normal human life. so the knight swears fealty to the fledgling god so he can have some connection to them even still & the god who loves him dearly in return blesses him with gifts and divine powers as a way to reach back toward him, back toward earth. this paladin’s vows are easy to keep, like second nature… and prayer is both automatic and personal

[amnesiaguy]

can you imagine being a new god’s firstborn devotee? their most beloved, their milk tooth? he knew his god when they were a lanky teenager and helped lie for them when they used to sneak out of their studies. the two of them would crack each other up late at night until they thought they might hurl. no other paladin knows his god as intimately and well — he saw them pimply and awkward and human and real, and worships them even still. that kind of devotion is impossible to manufacture

[amnesiaguy]

the paladin chooses a quest to follow, with the caveat “should my god allow it.” he goes to pray by the river — they used to seek the river together every time they made large decisions, and it was by a river he swore his sacred oaths — and murmurs “will you allow it, old friend?” to the water. a flower blooms at his bent knee. (his god trusts his judgement; they will never forbid him any path he requests to follow.)

[heal-on-kill]

[teathattast]

[miss-rum-hee]

[redead-red]

watching a movie at home circa like, 2001 was like

put your TV on channel 2 so the VCR will work

open up the clamp shell case that held the VHS that has that satisfying crrlikkkkkk

put in the movie

gdi it has to be rewound

press STOP and then rewind because its so much faster that way

start the movie and it takes a few seconds for the movie to actually start cause you rewound to the VERY beginning

FBI will get you if you illegally distribute or exhibit this movie

and then. because you forgot that movies are always so much louder than TV

COMING SOON TO OWN ON VIDEO AND DVD

QUICK LOWER THE VOLUME LOWER THE VOLUME LOWER THE VOLUME OH FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay crisis averted.

although. these ads are kind of quiet. a little hard to hear.....

better turn up the volume...

THX

[unsolids-your-snake]

Posts you can hear

[wickedwonderlandd]

Posts you can feel in your soul 😭😭

[thecastcompany]

Here is the January Calendar for the Cast Company! These are all the great events we are hosting! We will be at others for sure as we are in the walls. Yes the walls.

We have a few events that have sign ups if you want to come and be apart of a Cast Company Event! We love see friendly new and old faces in the community at our gigs!

Events that need Sign Ups

**Jan 13th Orc & Human Culture Festival **from 8pm - 11:30pm MG / 6pm - 9:30pm WRA // We are seeking vendors, performers and people to sign up for the orc wrestling and human fashion contest!

Jan 17th - Guild Recruitment Drive in Stormwind on Moonguard from 8pm - 10:30pm MG for Mercenary / Military Guilds // We are seeking more military / mercenary guilds to sign up and come recruit! We will have a bard and someone giving out snacks and hey you can get new members!

Jan 20th - Wings n Metal Anniversary Event from 7pm - 10:30pm MG / 5pm - 8:30pm WRA // We are seeking rock n roll and heavy metal singers to come rock face!

Want to sign up for any of those events? Then join our discord to get deets and murlocs! https://discord.gg/r6Yxkk9W74

[labias]

Oh my god

[headspace-hotel]

depression: kill yourself

Me: kill me yourself you coward

[1percentcharge]

men don’t die in antarctica like they used to

[civvic]

Fuck. Those fuckers at the store sold me No Purpose Flour again. What the fuck do I do with this

[civvic]

you laugh. my flour is bereft of purpose and you mock me. hell upon you, fool

[hollowbon3s]

yr locked in a room alone with three adult men but you feel perfectly safe. who are they

[flowersonmymind1016]

[icedsilver]

[ilex-merciae]

[wukodork]

I mean, I feel safe from them but I’m suddenly EXTREMELY worried about what shenanigans I’ve stumbled into

[aniseandspearmint]

I’d be fairly confident they weren’t going to hurt ME, but I’d be worried about the structural integrity of the area we’re trapped in.