'This box,' said Cohen, 'this box is—'he waved his arms vaguely.
'Oblong?'
'Eldritch,' said Cohen mysteriously.
'Eldritch?'
'Yup.'
'Oh,' said the dwarf. They stood looking at the box for a moment.
'Cohen?'
'Yes?'
'What does eldritch mean?'
'Well, eldritch is—' Cohen paused and looked down irritably. 'Give it a kick and you'll see.'
Lockjaw's steel-capped dwarfboot whammed into the side of the box. Cohen flinched. Nothing else happened.
'I see,' said the dwarf. 'Eldritch means wooden?'
'No,' said Cohen. 'It – it oughtn't to have done that.'
'I see,' said Lackjaw, who didn't, and was beginning to wish Cohen hadn't gone out into all this hot sunlight. 'It ought to have run away, you think?'
'Yes. Or bitten your leg off.'
'Ah,' said the dwarf. He took Cohen gently by the arm. 'It's nice and shady over here,' he said. 'Why don't you just have a little —'
Cohen shook him off.
'It's watching that wall,' he said. 'Look, that's why it's not taking any notice of us. It's staring at the wall.'
'Yes, that's right,' said Lackjaw soothingly. 'Of course it's watching that wall with its little eyes —'
'Don't be an idiot, it hasn't got any eyes,' snapped Cohen.
'Sorry, sorry,' said Lackjaw hurriedly. 'It's watching the wall without eyes, sorry.'
'I think it's worried about something,' said Cohen.
'Well, it would be, wouldn't it,' said Lackjaw. 'I expect it just wants us to go off somewhere and leave it alone.'
'I think it's very puzzled,' Cohen added.
'Yes, it certainly looks puzzled,' said the dwarf. Cohen glared at him.
'How can you tell?' he snapped.
It struck Lackjaw that the roles were unfairly reversing. He looked from Cohen to the box, his mouth opening and shutting.
'How can you tell?' he said. But Cohen wasn't listening anyway. He sat down in front of the box, assuming that the bit with the keyhole was the front, and watched it intently. Lackjaw backed away. Funny, said his mind, but the damn thing is looking at me.
'All right,' said Cohen, 'I know you and me don't see eye to eye, but we're all trying to find someone we care for, okay?'
'I'm—' said Lackjaw, and realised that Cohen was talking to the box.
'So tell me where they've gone.'
As Lackjaw looked on in horror the Luggage extended 161 its little legs, braced itself, and ran full tilt at the nearest wall. Clay bricks and dusty mortar exploded around it.
Cohen peered through the hole. There was a small grubby storeroom on the other side. The Luggage stood in the middle of the floor, radiating extreme bafflement.
The light fantastic ~ Terry Pratchett
