towel-offical

I can and will either dry you off, rip off your skin, be the softest thing you've ever felt, or be useless

[towel-offical]

I am but a humble towel, who may fight for your demise.

Anything towel related may be asked or sent to me.

I am towel.

Ooc: if anyone is struggling with anything, or wants to talk to somebody, with or without a response, my dms are always open, and just let me know if you want me to respond or not 🤍🤍🤍🤍

Edit: just realized I never posted a dni

So, dni if you are a FART (feminist appropriating reactionary transphobe (terf)), p3dophile, and other basic dnis

[the-quasar-hero]

“Why does this character have to be Black?”

Why shouldn’t they be?

“Why does this character have to be a woman?”

Why shouldn’t she be?

“Why does this character have to be gay?”

Why shouldn’t they be?

“Why does this character have to be trans?”

Why shouldn’t they be?

“Why does this character have to be disabled?”

Why shouldn’t they be?

“Why does this character have to be fat?”

Why shouldn’t they be?

[mango-kitty-art]

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

[phantoms-lair]

[null-the-void-monarch-offical]

All of the above, yes

[chachiboi-offical]

yeah im gonna go with both

[bonerpill-deactivated20230602]

[costumersupportdept]

no no, I know what you're thinking but it's actually amazingly great, keep watching.

[samgirl98]

Oh wow did not see that coming

[massacre-girlypop]

The kind of public service announcements humans SHOULD be watching.

[movedclonekisser-deactivated202]

Happy disability pride month

[null-the-void-monarch-offical]

OH, THAT’S GOOD

THAT’S ACTUALLY GOOD

I didn’t see that coming lol

[insaneostyle]

Shocking how many people don’t know that hens lay non-fertilized eggs and think the yolk they’re eating is a baby chicken

[countess-of-edessa]

once tried desperately to make my friend understand that yolks were not, like, a liquified potentiality of chicken, and she looked at me for a while and then said, "but they’re both yellow."

[woolandflax]

Behold

A chicken

[alexseanchai]

[image: a lemon.]

[brawltogethernow]

Image descriptions that incidentally make the joke infinitely funnier.

[totally-cis-offical]

It has no feathers, therefore it is a man

#making the joke worse

[stream]

[nicolauda]

Lion King (1994) explaining the importance of stylized 2D animation: Lion King (2019) and Cats (2019):

[pastaroasta]

Kimba The White Lion (1965) explaining the importance of an original idea:

Lion King (1994) Lion King (2019) Cats (2019)

[doink-z-deactivated20241130]

Shakespeare (1564) explaining the importance of an original idea:

Kimba the White Lion (1965), The Lion King (1994), The Lion King (2019), Cats (2019):

[onceuponamirror]

Saxo Grammaticus (c. 1160 – c. 1220) explaining the importance of understanding that all creative work is inherently derivative once you study the oral tradition of storytelling and history and that’s okay because generations have always reformatted tropes and themes to make them relatable to their current audiences 

Shakespeare (1564), Kimba the White Lion (1965), The Lion King (1994), The Lion King (2019), Cats (2019):

[captain-snark]

Tyrannosaurus rex (Late Cretaceous) explaining nothing because he’s a don’t give a fuck

[astronomical-bagel]

[thegreenaper]

[isopod-offical]

assigning blogs isopods Day 4

✨️ @towel-offical ✨️

powder blue isopod (Porcellionides pruinosus)

these isopd thrive in damp warm environments, due to being found in tropical habitat in the wild from alot of the pictures iv seen of them they have long pleotelsons which is really cool. these ones are quite small mesureing from 0.3 to 0.5 inches long and tend to cluster together although not being overly social

[towel-offical]

They're a really pretty isopod!!! And they're decently accurate to me irl

Thanks for assigning me one!!!

[petzah394]

[mothlily78]

You already know

[ac3-da-cas3]

moths :3

[shakespeareofficialaccount]

make a salad but your contribution is the object nearest to you

tag people if u want idk

i'll start:

UNO CARDS

@post-unuwuifer @yes-im-youtube-kids @microsoft-edge-real @the-red-planet-mars @bingle-official

@wordswordsorswordswords @india-reblogs

[the-blood-son-robin]

Bucket 😭

Atleast we got smth to put the stuff in

And this is open, literally anyone is free to join

But here are my recent favourites

@blackbat-batgirl @thegirlblunder-spoiler @redhoodisalive @raedhood @xxdickiebirdxx @nightwing-xoxo-again @reality-of-prime @the-revenantknight @glitterweirdo

[reality-of-prime]

Shoe rack. WOW

@dapotatoking277 @the-thunderstar-heir @formerglory25 @silverpenguin13 @polockski

[polockski]

Car door

@nyx-is-the-blank-canvas uhhh whoever else

[nyx-is-the-blank-canvas]

My younger brother???????

@m-ozzy @lemedstudent2021 @ihavehomework2dobutimhereinstead and open tags!

[ihavehomework2dobutimhereinstead]

oh uhm

my cat…

@stargazin-on-mars @bugwolfsstuff @literallylink--who-tf-is-ravioli

[bugwolfsstuff]

my earphone

@random-indian-girl @king-of-the-underworld-13

[random-indian-girl]

The tears of Nerakhis musical...

@thatchaoticbookworm , @obsessivebookwormalert

[thatchaoticbookworm]

the song of achilles @obsessivebookwormalert @girl-on-the-subway @shenanigan42 @shaethecrow @miasago @p3rpetual-moti0n

[miasago]

My magnesium lotion

@fancysheepnacho @souperache

[fancysheepnacho]

My notebook

@obsessivebookwormalert @coffee--spill @the-one-and-only-piper-offical

[coffee--spill]

Raccoon plushie 🥹

Open tags

[your-local-blackhole]

cucumbers

snacking on cucumber slices finally paid off :D

@cats-and-space @th3b3autyofth3y3llowflow3rs @the-dragonian @unan-zin @weedleysnumberonefan @yourfavoritecuntist + anyone else who wants to join

[th3b3autyofth3y3llowflow3rs]

Banana plushie

@fische--bowwl bro my only @

[mcdonaldsmccowboy]

UHM cast iron skillet full of oil and rubber

Open tags idk

[teapotsoffcialyup]

my water bill

TAKE IT PLEASE PLEASE

@bacone-official @genderqueer-offical @coffee--spill @andromeda-offical @thegayriley @waiter-offical

[bacone-official]

american idiot album by green day

@dying-pen-offical @drumsticks-offical @radioactive-bread-offical @ur-least-fav-gal-offical @playlist-offical @teapotsoffcialyup @light-offical @costco-offical @macandcheese-offical @unsatan-offical @laciffo-repip-ylno-dna-eno-eht @laciffo-3oa-ton-yletinifed @definitely-ao3-offical @coffee--spill @coffee-shop-offical @skyan-official @cranberry-branflakes @chartreuse-official

[drumsticks-offical]

Annotated bass drum music

@afterdarkafternight @biologynerd13 @niktokof @madd-hatter @thegayriley @tuekytail @smeefy-smoofy +open tags (I havent done a tag game in a bit so I forgot my usual tag list sorry!)

[smeefy-smoofy]

a billy joel cd I just got!!!

@marnigritaz @mike-the-star-collector @leninlennon @grandwizarddavy @grandwizardpeter @grandwizardmicky @sulus-mary-jane-plant

[leninlennon]

my blanket that i am under

@angsty-worm @angrymantheater @firefly-218 @iamactuallythewalrus

[angrymantheater]

teddy bear :)

@monamimyfriend @the-bogginses-are-gay @motherblackcap

[motherblackcap]

a fan (the making air colder kind)

@scientistsfoundafriendinspace @lost-long-ago @bismuth-209 @yuri-osity

[lost-long-ago]

Shark plushie

@rylandgraceisace @faerie-fangs

[rylandgraceisace]

Hand cream

@mangoesssssssssssssssssssssssss @xiomara-voidtree25 @olive-oil-spray @itshamwich

[itshamwich]

sketch book and pen

@boatemholes @silly-blue-gosling, @sillycamilly

[sillycamilly]

life sized rocky plushie..... PLEASE DON'T EAT HIM </3

open tags!!!

[bluejaysnests]

green and black yarn. for texture, of course

@infinitelypurple @sunny-omor1 @clearlykelsey @your-fav-idiot-lesbian @faejayy @yourl0calqueer @rickythegreenbean @ladybugcrimelord-offical + open tags!

[ladybugcrimelord-offical]

FISH PLUSHIEEEE

@demonic-bee-offical @buck3ttt @small-bottle-of-expired-milk @beansandsausages32 @squidiot-official @towel-offical @the-moonmoth-never-known @zookeeper-official @abrickofanticipation @mafia-offical-guh +anyone else (I did some tags yay!) :3

[towel-offical]

Empty box

@mean-girl-offical @astracaedes @sok-offical @ham-sandwich-consumer-offical @dying-pen-offical @filbus-offical @anyone else

[trans-ralsei]

[trans-ralsei]

[caughtthedarkness93]

I love my job, but reblogging employment jelly for someone else I love.

[towel-offical]

HIIIII OMGGG

IM A HUGE STAY TOO !!!

(i’m also @ib-offical hehe)

I did not get a notification for this, but omg, skz is amazing, like I swear they're just little cuties who are cosplaying mature versions of themselves and are living with their family (each other), and it's just really sweet

[towel-offical]

can you soak up mass amounts of ink...? sometimes people don't want me all over them, although I cannot imagine why.

- @ink-offical

Of course I can!

Which version of me would you like? Paper or fabric?

[petzah394]

[mothlily78]

You already know

[ac3-da-cas3]

moths :3

[towel-offical]

Take a look! 📌

Take a look! 📌 https://pin.it/37oQFhN9Q

Check out this Pin from bananabreadchild

@satan-offical , I think this is pretty important to share

[i-put-the-hyper-in-hyperfixated]

2026 is really just the officalverse season two

[satan-offical]

I forgot when national officalverse day is so uhm

May 21st. That's National officalverse day. Spread the word

[not-offical-offical]

SPREAD THE WORD

@evil-moss-the-goober-offical @valentine-cadaver @pond-scum-offical @homeschooler-offical @towel-offical @crypticgoose3 @pizzapops-offical @gay-cheerios-offical @yearning--offical @untitledoffical @watercooler-offical @sok-offical @the-cheese-offical @britishteaaa

[petzah394]

[mothlily78]

You already know

[ac3-da-cas3]

moths :3

[alanaisalive]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[iguanamouth]

oh shit

[throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight]

[alanaisalive]

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

[keith-oficcal]

@james-offical Brother, rally the troops

[james-offical]

@gaster-wd 💣︎✌︎✡︎ ✋︎ ☼︎☜︎✈︎🕆︎☜︎💧︎❄︎ ✡︎⚐︎🕆︎☼︎ ✌︎💧︎💧︎✋︎💧︎❄︎✌︎☠︎👍︎☜︎

[gaster-wd]

I don’t see why not.

Keep reading

[astracaedes]

oh look a BEAAAAAAAAAAR

Keep reading

[towel-offical]

I'm getting this on my lower back. When, I don't know, but it will happen