Few days ago I went to meet a guy that I haven't seen for the past 20 years or so. He was a kind of boyfriendish at the time, really nice, ambitious, work-driven smiling guy.
We met for a coffee and talk and after some five minutes he came out with "How nice you are, you look much slim." comment. I think I became pale, because his next comment was "What? Aren't you girls supposed to be happy when we (guys) mention that you are slimmer?"
So I had two options. I could start a long and unproductive conversation about women's rights or just be me, go away and enjoy my time somewhere else. I was very lazy, so I went for option 2.
No, we -- girls, as a pack, never considered as one of a kind, at least not by that guy -- are not supposed to act as you think "we" should. No, its not a compliment to say to a 41-years-old catch that she is slimmer than when she was at her twenties, because she knows you are lying -- probably just to get laid, because she also knows how awesome she is and how your performance was not as much 20 years ago.
Maybe I should have gone for it to say him afterwards, "Unfortunately I cannot tell the same about you, you're even worst doing it than you were twenty years ago". But I wasn't there for it, I was just there to see what I thought was a good friend, and I'm really glad for it. But if I was for it, his behaviour would have killed. In fact, why do the same expecting a new outcome, right?
No, we -- girls, as I like to be called perhaps by a real man, but I actually prefer woman -- are not supposed to be happy with this kind of pretentious, usual-male-mind-driven comment.
Its amazing how (some) men (and some women too, a lot) truthfully believe that outer-prettiness is paramount and rather live on looking and praising it instead of being (at least) an interesting person.
There is no need for us (regardless of gender) to be lovable, nice, pretty.
The only thing that matters is to be happy for what we are and for what we can be everyday, despite such outer-existentialism enforceability that follow us these days (and before was much worse).
For you, used-to-be-kind-guy that I've met a long time ago (and all that have the same mindset, whichever gender you are), the only thing I have to say in addition to the laugh & walk I already did that night is that sometimes people get better, but as seen in your case, they can also get very worst.
To all, a more than nice day.
areudirty
titsay
