The cis are back at it again

Sasha - 19 - They/them or She/her. Bi, nb, latine, and transfem.

[grungegoths]

So many of yall havent ever been to a public lgbtqa space and/or support group and only base your politics about gender and sexuality from tumblr posts instead of also reading academic texts or books on the topic and it fucking shows .

[grungegoths]

Your GSA meetings arent gonna be full of “Mogai libqueers"or whatever you call them and wont have conversations about the difference between demisexual and gray asexuality.Random girls arent gonna assume that you are in a queerplatonic relationships with your best friends.Your therapist isnt gonna ask u to chose microidentities instead of l/g/b/t identities.L/G/B/T people arent gonna be kicked out of “queer cafes” bc people want to make “more space” for “cishet” asexual people and hate LGBT people.Cis straight women who arent into BDSM arent going to call themselves “queer” bc they think “its cool” when there is still alot of institutional and societal violence and discrimination faced by queer people in real world.  Cis straight people arent desperate for entering lgbtqa spaces and arent gonna likely make up “false mogai microidentities” to “feel special “.

The real world is full of cis straight normativity conforming people who still treat lgbtqa people like shit so PLEASE PLEASE stop acting like all these issues I listed are some pressing matters needing to be addressed 24/7 on discourse blogs and memes and like, maybe dedicate more times addressing actual issues faced by lgbtqa people.Stop listening to people here who act like running a discourse blog on tumblr and harassing ace people and people with microidentities is the only good lgbtqa activism and go visit your local lgbtqa groups or read books from legit authors about these issues.

Stop alienating questioning and lgbtqa minors from their school lgbtqa groups and lgbtqa courses in colleges by implying that all lgbtqa activists outside tumblr are bunch of “kweer mogais” who are going to convert lgbt people into shitty microidentities.

For a group of people who scream “Go outside!! 1!!1” everytime someone calls you out on your bullshit, so many of yall sure are detached from reality

[themadcapmathematician]

Idk, something that bothers me is this: the idea that nonbinary/genderqueer genders are “neutral” and “up to interpretation” isnt transphobia, its nbphobia specfically. It’s the specific hatred, fear, and erasure of the idea of genders that do not exist within the gender binary. It’s people looking at a nonbinary/genderqueer gender expression, going “that can’t be right,” and deciding its up to them to correct that

[metanarrates]

Yeah pretty much. I see this a lot in the Undertale/Deltarune fandom, with people “interpreting” the canonically nb protagonists as male or female and it automatically turns me off many fanworks when people use the wrong pronouns. The kids use they/them pronouns, people. You shouldn’t overwrite their identities, especially when the Deltarune story in particular is about how Kris is their own person apart from the Player. It’s rude and it erases the representation of an already marginalized community.

[themadcapmathematician]

This post was made partially in with that in mind. There are multiple other instances however - for example Crona from Soul Eater being referred to with he/him pronouns in the English dub when they were referred to with gender neutral terms in the Japanese dub, not to mention the intense debate about their gender in the fandom, and ive been seeing a lot of people use she/her for Stevonnie and Smokey Quartz in the SU fandom and debate both of their genders and whether or not they are “too feminine” as well. Its not just one fandom, though the undertale fandom is one of the most prominent current offenders (I’ve seen so many frisk is a boy/frisk is a girl “headcanons” its ridiculous)

[minecraftbussy-deactivated20221]

How is “asexuality doesn’t actually exist and you just have a sexual disorder that needs to be cured” not like, a classic pro-conversion therapy argument? It’s crazy that I’m seeing other gay and trans people my age say this shit like it’s not hypocritical or evil. Coldest take ever.

[abbf26]

the inherent horor of being trans is knowing you are the single touchstone a cis person will probably ever have

im reminded of when i went to sit my philosophy exam and had an ex-officer as an invidulator. he asked me if i was trans, something i had no obligation to answer. but if i didnt, i would be cagey. i would now paint an image of all trans people being rude in his mind, so i said yes

that invidulator asked me why, as a trans student, i should have my rights respected if there are so few of us

and instead of rightfully getting pissed off, i had to remember that i am currently representing a community of millions to a single man in a room with just the two of us in it. i could be the deciding factor on how he conducts behaviour with trans people in the future. what if he gets called to invidulate again in 20 years time and has another trans student? what if he remembers the one he met before, and instantly assumes he knows our community?

so i explained to him why i should have rights. and i used my words carefully, because if i slip up even once i have now put a trans person in danger, because he has made a choice based on me

trans people dont get to be angry. cis people always joke about how we demand a space, or we demand the right name, or we demand they bow down to us

think very carefully, did that trans woman demand that you use the right name, or did she correct you? did that trans man hold you at gunpoint, demanding you let him piss in public, or did he look like he wanted to use the disabled toilet to avoid bothering you all together. did the nonbinary trans person have you on your knees begging for forgiveness, or did they ask nicely for you to be mindful of their pronouns?

the transphobic narrative is one of victimhood, meanwhile if i even use the wrong tone cis people will act as a child does, and they will demand that the next trans person they meet apologise

every trans person you meet is aware of this too. we're all very tuned into the fact that we are ambassadors, and that we never asked to be that. i dont want to have to very carefully consider 'will a curt answer mean someome later dies', but every day of my life i do

and cis people need to know that. to be trans is to literally walk on constant eggshells of cis fragility. its why when we see a new trans celebrity we have to desperately hope they dont do stupid fucking shit like caitlyn jenner did. because now everyone thinks trans women are like her. because now negotiations for our right to exist unmolested have gone back another 20 years

and tbh, cis people are pathetically weak. a trans person asked you to use the right name? that did not happen in a vacuum. that trans person has met 50-60 cis people today who refused

and guess what? we get tired too

[fuckyeahasexual]

Yall when someone asks you weather your blog is safe for ace people to follow or not : UMM why are you trying to involve me on the discourse™ ?? This isnt a discourse blog i know you have bad intentions and are only asking this to cancel™ me :// Im not falling for your stupid tricks stop asking me stupid questions like these :// How many times do i have to make it clear that i dont want to be involved in the ace discourse?? :// My follower count is more worth to me than ace people’s emotional wellbeing and them feeling safe on my blog so please dont ask me about my opinions on ace ppl ur you’ll be blocked ://

Yall five minutes later :  Reblog and/or make 5 posts mocking and shitting on ace people and their identity and moodboards comparing ace people to evil people and tag it with “GHYGFHGFGFG WHY ARE ACEYS LIKE THIS FHGFH”

[skodasforge]

You know maybe amatonormativity exists but it's hard to say that when I'm 90% sure gay people were not being encouraged to seek out relationships by the wider culture until maybe 2005-ish

[im-fucking-asexual]

what's amatonormativity?

[skodasforge]

A Tumblr-based sociological theory that boils down to "compulsory alloromanticism" but I've also seen it defined to include monogamy as another expectation under the header of amatonormativity

[srsblog4srsposts]

Amatonormativity is not tumblr based- it was not created on tumblr nor was it popularised on tumblr. Amatonormativity was not even coined by asexual people or with asexual people in mind exclusively. 

Amantonormativity was coined by feminist academic Elizabeth Brake in her book “Minimising Marriage” to refer to:

the assumptions that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, in that it is a universally shared goal, and that such a relationship is normative, in that it should be aimed at in preference to other relationship types. (Source)

Amatornormativity doesn’t just affect asexual and aromantic people. Whilst it’s often asexual and aromantic people you see talking about amatonormativity (because we become hyper aware of it due to how it affects us), it actually impacts the lives of people of all orientations, including LGBT+ people.

Amatonormativity in practice is…

The assumption that all single people are unhappy with their status and looking not to be single.

“Coming of age” milestones often revolving around romantic accomplishments (first kiss, first crush, first love, marriage, etc).

Non romantic partnerships (sexual or platonic) being looked down upon.

A sort of relationship hierarchy where marriage is at the top and everything else falls somewhere below it.

The expectation for romantic partners to be more important than jobs, hobbies or other commitments in a person’s life. And the belief that people who choose to pursue the former are selfish.

People who are not seeking exclusive romantic relationships being seen as less mature, stable, trustworthy or settled.

The structuring of laws and society on the basis that eventually everyone will be in a committed romantic partnership (marriage).

The toxic idea of a “friendzone” (which of course, overlaps with misogyny), where friendship with a woman is seen as “second prize” to a relationship with her.

People settling for someone they’re not really happy with or compatible with just to fulfil the desire or expectation to have a partner.

Non-aromantic asexual people trying to normalise their orientation by saying they can still “fall in love” or “have relationships” “just like anyone else”.

Asexual people or people who don’t feel attraction to anyone feeling pressured to seek out and enter into relationships.

And much more…

Violations of amatonormativity would include dining alone by choice, putting friendship above romance, bringing a friend to a formal event or attending alone, cohabiting with friends, or not searching for romance. (Source)

[kyraneko]

Also the way turning down a request for a date, while single, is often viewed as some sort of terrible insult instead of an analysis of poor compatibility.

Also the idea that it’s wrong to break up with someone unless they’ve done something objectively terrible enough to “deserve it” rather than because the relationship isn’t doing anything for you.

[jabberwockypie]

It also encourages people to stay in abusive relationships because it pushes being in a relationship is the highest priority/being alone is terrible.

[trenderbakugou]

If I see one more person say "I'm dysphoric" in defense when a transmed misgenders them I'm gonna fucking scream

[trenderbakugou]

Like if the person being misgendered was nondysphoric it would be justified ?? Stop it

[donotusetheinternet-deactivated]

Just a quick reminder to avoid using all caps in image descriptions for the following uses:

emphasizing something

if the text in the image is written in a font which is an all-caps font

basically for any reason except acronyms or when the image uses all caps somewhere & you find it necessary to include

Because many screenreading tools are prone to getting confused by all caps and reading them out letter by letter, or otherwise causing the text to be read in a confusing manner.

[trans-cishet]

How is it going yall

Today was my first time wearing a dress outside and it was great

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

The most important relationship in your life doesn’t have to be romantic. It can be a friend or family member or someone else. This is still true even if you’re currently in a romantic relationship.

[ukelads-deactivated20200110]

Characters from kids shows that were definitely queer

The Russo siblings (especially Alex) from the wizards of Waverley place

Ryan and chad from high school musical

Henry hart and jasper from Henry danger

Max thunderman from the thundermans

Everyone in teen beach movie (Leia and Mack should have gotten together)

Everyone that was in the lemonade mouth band

Sam from iCarly

Everyone in victorious (Jade was definitely, I mean did you see her outfits)

Maya and Riley (and possibly farkle, Lucas and Zay) from girl meets world

Buttercup from the powerpuff girls

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz from phineas and ferb

Everyone in descendents

Mystery incorporated from scooby doo

Add more if you want

[aerospace-agenda]

So here’s an opinion; if you think “mogai tumblr” is bad, or you think “ridiculous microidentities” are bad, then as far as I’m concerned, even if you put an “n” on whatever variant of “lgbt” is trendy with exclusionists nowadays, you cant call yourself supportive of nb/gq people without making yourself into a liar.

‘Cause, and this might come as a shock to some people, but the origination of that kind of stuff? Pretty much comes from truscum and anti-sjws making fun of, invalidating, and insulting nb/gq people.

And a lot of that is still ongoing, too. Look up anything related to “mogai cringe” and right alongside anybody making fun of lesser known a-spec identities or microidentities will be a horde of truscum and anti-sjws doing the same for both them and nb/gq people. 

“mogai tumblr is bad because it tricks people into iding with fake ids instead of real ones!” yeah never heard that before

“look at these mogais trying to be special” yeah no still on repeat here

but what can i say except rather than attempting to come up with different ways to insult “mogai tumblr” that you think won’t insult nb/gq people, instead…

(badly drawn star with “pls stop trying” written over it)

And for the record?

Don’t shield your bigotry behind a marginalized identity, and certainly don’t try to pretend like your bigotry is part of that marginalized identity. Because that’s literally the exact kind of things regs do. Doing that? Kind of proving my point.

[nonbinary-culture]

Can we pick up “diamour” for a nonbinary partner again? Because that word was nice and pretty as heck.

It came from “diamoric”, which describes the non-straight, non-same-gender but intrinsically queer nature of relationships involving a nonbinary person (or multiple nonbinary people).

So like, a relationship between a girl and an agender person is diamoric and the agender person is the girl’s diamour!

Or, an androgyne and a genderfluid person dating are diamours!

I just love that word so much!

[nottheatretrash]

mine nowwwww!!!!!!!!

[little-wolf-white-peacock]

oh I love it! 

[star-anise]

I love it. It sounds like diamonds. 

[bunnyalope]

its really annoying how very transparent transmisogynistic things get labeled as “anti-nonbinary” exclusively (or even get displayed as non binary rep) because people seemingly forget that like, trans women aren’t treated as men or women and you can’t take transphobic media at its word for what its trying to depict 

a writer who thinks trans women are genderless freaks is going to say they’re genderless (Mermaid Sisters in Carole and tuesday) , a writer that thinks trans women are just cross dressers will say they’re just cross dressers (chihiro in dangan ronpa)

[bunnyalope]

i would appreciate it if non-trans women would at least consider reblogging this

[bunnyalope]

some people have rightfully pointed out that i only used Japanese/eastern examples. this wasn’t intended (i brought up two examples that just happened to be relevant at the time) but i definitly understand how it makes it come off as me brushing this off as some other cultures problem, or some “weeb” thing. this was very much not my goal, and i am sorry that i failed to to provide better western examples to make the full context more clear

for examples in the west, see people refering to “HIM” from power puff girls as a non-binary icon. HIM is literally satan in a dress. I don’t really know how to elaborate on that, its rather blatant how that ties to transmisogyny

another example is Rocky Horror Picture show. The main character is often touted as a “gay or trans icon”. but they are exclusively depicted as a villain, and as a sex crazed monster rapist who is also a cannibal. the character is very clearly meant to depict trans women as scary, and to say otherwise is naive

[trans-cishet]

As a nb trans girl, I agree that the mermaid sisters are a horrible transmisogynistic caricature (as also is Dahlia, Angela's mother) who the show ALSO treats horribly,

But also, this is all we have in popular media, let people find some solace in the shit cis people throw at us. God knows that I also loved HIM and Griffith and any queer coded villain

I agree though, non transfemenine people fucking suck at determining when something's a transmisogynistic attack and I'm glad you pointed it out. The meme popularity of the mermaid sisters is largely based on people laughing at this caricature of us.

[mioxenoblade]

What if I did the reverse of what weirdo terfs do on tumblr, what if I made a fake terf sideblog and used it to sell terf branded merchandise while all along I was a trans woman. Like I’m sure I’d eventually get outted like they do, by accidentally reblogging a post about trans rights to the fake terf blog, but the ride there? It could be incredible.

[trans-cishet]

I actually did this with antisjws and I did a SHIT job at marketing (we're talking about eventually abandoning the blog and just queueing the sales post) and I still get a few sales here and there

Imagine the potential benefits of actually playing the part and getting a following

[bering-strait-deactivated202005]

it’s so easy to say “punch a terf!” and “I would fight a transphobe!” but how many of you devote time and energy to actually nourishing the lives of trans people? would you give a trans person a safe place to sleep? would you give a trans girl a ride home when it’s late? would you console them while they cried? would you go to the doctor with them and stick up for them, to professionals, in an institution that has historically abused them? or is your activism for trans people just performative anger that only comes out around other cis people for woke points

[thevagueambition]

people who think you need to have dysphoria to be trans like:

[gender-is-dead]

Stop equating dysphoria with suffering 24/7

[thevagueambition]

dysphoria literally means “difficult to bear” and whatever internal discourse we may choose to have about how it’s used, the understanding medical staff who interact with us are operating under is predicated on this definition and whether or not many of us have access to transitioning is dependent on whether we are deemed to be suffering in the “correct” way, ie have dysphoria to the “right” degree and in the “right” way

also this was an untagged joke post lol