Trans and Non Binary Name Help

On a short hiatus right now; feel free to ask questions. I'll get to them when I come back. <3 Call me Caelum (they/them). This is a space for trans, non binary, genderqueer, etc. people to come for name suggestions and questions. I am willing to do pronoun validations, as well. My main blog is @moonlitscully (so I follow you from there!)

[lightlydodie-deactivated2018120]

hey uhh if anyones still confused theres nothing nsfw about being gay there are gay kids and if you think puppy love between straight kids is cute but puppy love between gay kids is gross then you are in fact homophobic

[that-sweet-sweet-validation-blog]

Calling All LGBT+ Folks Again BC I Still Exist!!!

Did you have a bad day? Are you feeling dysphoric? Do you feel uncomfortable or sad because you aren’t accepted and loved like you deserve to be?

Well come on down, folks, and get yourselves some free validation!

Here’s how it works:

Send an ask with your pronouns and your chosen name. (It’s totally fine if you wanna leave out your name. Anons are welcome.)

If you want, include other information like your gender or something you might be upset about at the moment.

Wait for that sweet, sweet validation to come your way!

As I mentioned, this is open to anyone. People any age, race, ethnicity, gender identity, sexual orientation, or any other sort of background can send an ask. I encourage anyone who wants to share advice or experiences to please do so, whether via submitting a post or commenting on someone else’s ask.

I hope to be meeting and helping some of you guys soon!

Love,

Lake, the trans guy who runs this blog

[trans-nb-names]

Check out this blog!

[blackbearmagic]

this blog supports, respects, and is proud of the students who are taking a stand for better gun control

[gutter-guy]

You shouldn’t be treating nb people like the secret sexy 3rd gender. Nb people don’t look like a mash of male and female, they’re not sexy androgynous twinks

[gutter-guy]

white skinny androgynous nb people reblogging this and saying shit like “Well this is what I look like! So I feel represented!” Are literally part of the problem. I’m not saying that no nb people are white/skinny/andro, I’m saying that those are the only type of nb bodies that get represented 

[quixoty]

its nice, isnt it, when nonbinary people are visibly distinct from binary people? its easy, isnt it? you can remember to use “they” for people who have no visible breasts or beards, right? no need to challenge the notion of male vs female if nonbinary people have their own look, isnt that right?

its time to step the fuck up and really understand that nonbinary looks like anybody. nonbinary looks like you. nonbinary looks like your family and friends and it looks like the strangers who you thoughtlessly call “he” or “she” because of their appearance.

really supporting nonbinary people means understanding that theres no visual tell - you wont recognise all of us as nonbinary on sight. you have to actually LISTEN to us. you have to BELIEVE us. and it means challenging your assumptions about gender, starting with the assumption that youre an ally to trans people while youre still doing puerile shit like gendering body parts and clothes.

NONBINARY LOOKS LIKE ANYBODY. ANY BODY CAN BE NONBINARY.

[starlingsongs-deactivated201608]

Knowing that trans women of color started the movement in the united states and were literally immediately erased and excluded from what they started is the most deeply jading knowledge.

It is the original sin of the so-called queer community and it damns it from the cradle.

[starlingsongs-deactivated201608]

no white gay boy will ever reblog this, watch:

[lesbian-mimikyu]

no white gay will reblog this

[queerfemme]

no white lgb person will reblog this

[lgbtqkidsrock]

Without Stonewall, without the efforts of Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, the LGBTQ Community wouldn’t be where it is today. Don’t forget the roots, don’t forget the catalyst.

[cyberlesbiab-deactivated2021052]

and then TERFs wanna be like, “hmm well the LGBT community existed before Stonewall!”

but like…Becky, of course LGBTQ+ people existed before Stonewall. We’ve all existed since the beginning of time. But the movement got a shock to its senses, a jump-start, a rocket-into-space when that glass shattered via Marsha P. Johnson, and when Sylvia Rivera was up on-stage protesting guess who was on the sidelines heckling her?

The same fuckers who won’t ever reblog or acknowledge this

[starshein]

Listen up. There is literally an app that can help you avoid self harm and I don’t know why we aren’t talking about it.

Calm Harm can be tailored to your needs and will provide strategies to help you get past those crucial moments of wanting to harm.

It’s also totally FREE.

once again, it’s called CALM HARM

[beckettsthoughts]

yo, i hope i'm not bothering you and sorry if you've been asked before, but do you have any advice for choosing a new name? i have a list of a few i like but i'm not really confident with choosing one that i like the most for myself

These kind of questions are never bothering me, don’t worry! I’m glad to be able to offer some advice. Here’s the tips that came to mind:

If you want some more options, search for baby names. It depends exactly what kind of name you’re looking for, but one tip I’d suggest is searching for the most popular names in your birth year. This is a really good option if you’re looking for a good, traditional name, and it might bring up some new suggestions.

Another thing that might influence your name choice is the meaning you want your name to have. This is one of the nice little things about choosing a name for yourself. The meaning behind your name might go deeper than the literal meaning of the name, the meaning of your name can include sentimental meaning. For example, I chose Carteret as my middle name. Carteret is not only the name of my favourite towns to visit on holiday, but it’s also a common surname on the island where I grew up. In this way, Carteret has a sentimental meaning to me because of the connection to my home and my travels. 

(My first name, Beckett, apparently means bee cottage. You can tell I didn’t choose that based on meaning.)

Now this one is entirely dependent on whether or not you’re out to your family. If you’re not, disregard this point entirely. If you are, ask your parents’ opinion! Remember that it is ultimately your decision, but involving your parents in the name choosing process can be a real bonding experience and also harks back to the tradition of your parents deciding your name. Aside from that, having a second opinion is always helpful when making decisions.

Try it out! Either in person, amongst whoever you’re out to, or online, using services like @trans-names-help. Most people don’t have that fabled “Eureka!” moment, so trying out your different name options for a short while really helps you to get a feeling for what you think might suit you in the long run. This is actually how I started, by going to a similar blog for name validation and then asking people online to call me ‘Beckett’ for a short while so I could see how it felt. That was over two years ago; clearly, it stuck.

Some other blogs that you might find useful are @transnameadvice, @transnamesuggestions, @transnamehelp, @trans-nonb-nameadvice, @transgendernamesuggestions, @trans-nb-names and more!

I hope this is at least somewhat helpful to you in your name-choice journey, please feel free to come back to me if you have any more questions! I wish you the best of luck choosing your new name, friend <3

[nerdygirlnoodles]

Okay, but seriously on the topic of straight people being so overly concerned about their children being exposed to homosexuality…

As some of you know, I am a makeup artist in a holistic beauty boutique in a very wealthy area of eastern New York. The week before Halloween I was offering simple costume makeup designs for both adults and children. So my last client of the evening was a 15 year old girl who came in to get her makeup done for the Halloween dance at her school. I was enjoying a conversation with both the girl and her mother when suddenly the topic of transgender came up. I got a little nervous because I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when I hear people speaking negatively about these sorts of topics and as I mentioned, my store is in a very upscale, white, conservative area…

Anyway, the girl starts telling us that her friend prefers to be a boy now. She says it very simply and comfortably and it made me happy to see her talk about it as if it was really no big deal.

Her mother says

“How does she even know what transgender is though? She’s a little young to be making a decision like that. I really think the media is taking things too far with all this gay stuff. I’m not against it or anything, but didn’t you just tell me two boys in your class are dating too?”

The girl said that yes, two boys she knew were dating and another boy she knew was gay also. (And she also corrected the pronouns her mother used for her friend)

“I don’t mind that she knows that homosexuality is,” the mother said. “But I don’t think it should be taught at such a young age. Did you know it’s on Disney channel now?”

It took me a moment to respond, I just kept painting the girl’s face until I could figure out what I wanted to say.

“Well,” I said. “We tend to teach heterosexuality literally from the time a child is born. Most children’s books and movies are even centered around a romance of some kind like a Prince and a Princess for example. There’s rarely a children’s movie that comes out where the main male and female character don’t end up marrying each other in the end. If we don’t have a problem flooding our children’s minds with heterosexuality from the time they are able to sit up and watch a movie on their own, what is so wrong with showing them two boys or two girls being in love? We aren’t showing them sex. We aren’t showing them anything inappropriate. Since when is love inappropriate? If we show them love in all it’s forms (be it gay or straight) from an early age, they will see that it’s all perfectly normal and natural and maybe we can finally put homophobic the past…”

The woman considered this for a second and then said “I just feel like they see it and then they start to think that they might be too.”

“And maybe they are. But isn’t it better for them to know that it’s okay? They aren’t hurting anyone.”

Then the girl said. “No ones going around just thinking they are gay because they know what gay is, mom. I know what a chicken is, that doesn’t mean I’m going to wake up tomorrow and start clucking.”

I loved this kid. I hope she does well in all of her endeavors

[kamorth]

I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and start clucking

[klaw]

yanno how every january everyone writes the wrong year for a while ?? that’s like how it is when u come out as trans and still misgender or deadname yourself. you’re not faking it, u just gotta get used to the change just like we all do every january.

[queenofthyme]

a wholesome post

[trans-nb-names]

hiii, sorry to bother, i'm an agender person, birth name is ariana, and i was looking for a gender neutral name (not ari tho because a lot of people call me that and associate it with my feminine self)

Hey bud!

It’s no bother at all! Sorry to have taken so long on all these asks!

Some neutral names (I included ones that both start with A and don’t):

AsherAngelArloAveryAronCamrynHaydenJackieMicahOakleyRiley

-Caelum

[trans-nb-names]

Hello. So Im nonbinary, probably a demiboy and I was thinking about changing my feminine name. Remy caught my eye. I like that its unisex because Im looking for that, but Im not sure which spelling has a slightly more masculine feel: Remy or Remi. Where I live y isnt even in the alphabet, but Im interested in what you and your followers think.

Hi there!

I think both look pretty neutral, but people (where I live anyway) tend to use Ys for masculine and Is for feminine, like in names like Danny and Danni. On the other hand, Y is used much more frequently anyway; you’re much more likely to see Sammy than Sammi. In that case, it wouldn’t matter because neither looks more feminine or masculine than the other. In the case of Remy/Remi, I think either works as perfectly neutral, especially if your native language doesn’t have Ys.

-Caelum

[trans-nb-names]

hi! so recently i have felt uncomfortable with my feminine name. i feel more neutral. i don't exactly know if i will identify as non-binary or genderfluid. i thought it was a temporary thing but it hasn't gone away. i was wondering if maybe you could help me find a neutral name that starts with L or really any letter. thanks!

Hi pal!

Here are some names that start with L:

LennonLyleLennoxLeeLarkLorenLeslieLex

-Caelum

[trans-nb-names]

Wish do you think is most androgynous: Jaylin, Em, Lee, or June?

Hi there!

I think all three of those names work as androgynous names, but some people will probably assume Em and June are more feminine. Out the the four, Jaylin seems the most neutral to me, but that might just be because I know people with the other three names.

-Caelum

[trans-nb-names]

Just A Note

I’m going by Caelum now.. I like Emmett better as a middle name. 👌👌

(Also sorry there’s still so many asks I’m behind on!! 😬)

[corvidkusnos]

As much as I like the non-binary flag I’d prefer it if people could just remember that the white part of the trans flag represents non-binary people and stop treating people who don’t fit the gender binary as “less tans” than binary trans people

[corvidkusnos]

Lots of non-binary people have felt worried about if they’re allowed to call themselves trans, or if they’re “trans enough” to use the trans flag or join in during trans events like trans visibility days without even knowing that the white stripe on the trans flag is for us non-binary/genderqueer/genderfluid/agender/intersex/etc folk. I feel like it is important that the white stripe is recognised because currently so many people who don’t fit the gender binary feel less valid as trans people than binary trans people.

[gendercensus]

A survey for nonbinary/genderqueer folks, about your pronouns

This is an attempt to collect as much information as possible about nonbinary people’s pronouns.

This survey opened on 2017-08-19, and will stay open until there are less than 10 responses per day. I will then process the responses into some useful statistics and lists, and publish them.

[Link]

[trans-nb-names]

Hey there! So I go by the name Leelu and use they/them pronouns, but I sometimes worry that my name is too feminine. I usually shorten it to L (I'd also like people to shorten it to Lee, but I've never asked), and I'm looking to legally change my name to Leelu soon. Do you think that this is a problem? Or do you think that Leelu is pretty gender-neutral?

Hi there! I’ve never heard the name Leelu, so I’m not sure whether it would be a problem. After researching it, it seems like it’s used predominantly as a feminine name, but to me it doesn’t sound like it’s super feminine. I definitely don’t think it would be a problem if you went by the nickname L or Lee. Hope this wasn’t too late!

-Emmett